Friday, May 13, 2016 Edition: #5730

When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Country singer Kelsea Ballerini (22) and comedian Arsenio Hall (60) are lined up to co-host “Greatest Hits”, a 6-episode celebrity karaoke competition on ABC-TV. The program will feature both new artists and veterans taking the stage to give their versions of iconic tunes from the past 3 decades. It will include both solo performances and ‘unexpected’ duets. “Greatest Hits” is set to premiere on June 30th.
– ContactMusic.com
★ Matt Damon & Ben Affleck are planning to resurrect their writing partnership. They co-wrote the 1997 film “Good Will Hunting”, earning them an Oscar for ‘Best Original Screenplay’. According to Damon they’ve been unable to write together since due to their busy acting careers, but they’re at least now “talking about it”. Before the best buds can work write together, they have plenty of acting and promotional work to complete. For Matt, the promo tour for the film “Jason Bourne” (opening July); and for Ben, filming his next outing as ‘Batman’, “The Justice League Part 1”.
– “Idaho Statesman”
★ And comedian Ricky Gervais says he’ll only consider taking on a late-night talk show in the US … if he can relieve himself onstage as stars talk about their new films. The provocative Brit, who’s gained a reputation for making celebrities uncomfortable at awards shows, says he’s been offered several TV gigs in recent years, but he’s not quite ready to accept a ‘desk job’. However, it could be that he’s considering alternative possibilities after his recent Netflix comedy special “Correspondents” was savaged by critics.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• GLAAD Media Awards (NYC) – Saturday the 27th annual honoring honest portrayal of the LGBT community. Director Lee Daniels presents Mariah Carey with the ‘Ally Award’, for her continued support in advancing LGBT equality and acceptance.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight a ‘Mash-up Monday’ rerun with Of Monsters & Men at Work.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Unknown Mortal Orchestra (“Multi-Love”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight Hozier (“Hozier”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Cyndi Lauper (“Detour”). Rerun.
• Northern Invasion (Somerset WI) – This Saturday-Sunday rock and camping festival features Disturbed, Rob Zombie, KoRn, and Shinedown as well as many more.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Drake hosts and performs. It’s his 2nd time as host/musical guest, following a 2014 appearance.
• Shaky Knees Festival (Atlanta GA) – On the bill for this 3-day weekend music event: Cold War Kids, Decemberists, Deftones, Florence + The Machine, Jane’s Addiction, My Morning Jacket, Silversun Pickups and many more.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Blake Shelton (“If I’m Honest”, out May 20th).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Maxwell (“BLACKsummers’night”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brad Paisley – “Headline Planet” reports his new single being released today is “Without a Fight”, a collaboration with pop singer Demi Lovato.
• Chance the Rapper – Today his new mixtape “Chance 3” is released, featuring the lead track “Blessings”.
• Garth Brooks – On July 9th he returns to the Big Apple for his first gig in almost 20 years. His 1997 concert in Central Park was the biggest in the venue’s history, with almost 1 million fans. This Summer he’s playing Yankee Stadium.
• Kenny Rogers – After more than 5 decades of entertaining, he begins his final world tour tonight in Mahnomen MN. “The Gambler’s Last Deal” trek is slated to run into 2017. It includes special guest Linda Davis on all dates.
• Kesha – Producer Dr Luke is demanding to have her medical records revealed in their increasingly bitter court case. Her lawyers argue that could set a dangerous precedent for future sexual assault cases as private therapy sessions should not be made public. A judge will rule on the filing shortly.
• Miley Cyrus – According to a report by “Us Weekly”, she and actor Liam Hemsworth are planning to exchange vows in his native Australia. When? Where? We don’t know.
• Taylor Swift – Many believe the number 13 is bad luck. Taylor disagrees, saying it’s her lucky number. Not only was she born on the 13th (December), she turned 13 on the 13th, and her first album went gold after 13 weeks.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Darkness” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): A family returns from a Grand Canyon vacation, haunted by an ancient supernatural entity they unknowingly awakened which begins to engage them in a fight for their survival. Stars Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell. What’s most shocking is this is the only horror flick scheduled for Friday the 13th weekend.
NET: http://thedarknessmovie.tumblr.com/
• “Money Monster” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Smarmy cable TV stock guru ‘Lee Gates’ (George Clooney) and his producer ‘Patty’ (Julia Roberts) are taken hostage on-camera by a man who lost all his money by following the TV show’s investment tips. Director Jodie Foster. Co-stars Dominic West, Giancarlo Esposito, Jack O’Connell.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/moneymonster/
• Opening in limited release: “High-Rise” (Drama); “Kill Zone 2” (Action); “Last Days In the Desert” (Drama); “The Lobster” (Sci-fi Dramedy); “Love & Friendship” (Romantic Drama); “Search Party” (Comedy); “Sunset Song” (Drama); and “What We Become” (Horror Thriller).

FAT IS THE NEW FIT?
Being overweight may not be as unhealthy as it was 40 years ago Danish research at Copenhagen University suggests. The study finds that the ‘moderately’ overweight now have lower rates of early death than those who are normal weight, underweight, or obese. Back in the mid-1970s, those with the lowest death rates were of normal weight and the obese faced a 30% higher risk of early death. But now the threat to people’s survival from being obese is almost negligible. The most likely explanation is that healthcare systems are now much better at treating obesity-linked conditions, such as high cholesterol and blood pressure. So it doesn’t mean being overweight is healthy or in any way desirable. That said, maybe overweight people need not be quite as worried about their weight as before. (To eat or not to eat?)
– BBC Health

SUPER COOL BRIT SLANG TO LIVEN UP YOUR VOCAB:
• Crusty Dragon – A piece of snot or a booger.
• Daft Cow – A really dumb person.
• Gobby – Loudly opinionated.
• Gormless – Clueless.
• Legless – Completely drunk.
• Minted – Really rich.
• Pavement Pizza – Puke on the ground.
• Puff – Fart.
• Shambolic – In a total state of chaos.
• Skive – Someone who is really lazy or useless.
– List25.com

WILL THAT BE CASH OR BITCOIN?
A council in central Switzerland is set to accept the digital currency Bitcoin as payment for some public services. A trial period in the town of Zug begins July 1st and runs until the end of the year. Residents will be able to make payments of up to 200 Swiss francs (circa $200) using the crypto-currency, in what will be a world first. The mayor says the town’s council wants to show its “openness to new technologies” and cater to local financial technology companies. The area is known as the ‘crypto-valley’, as it hosts more than a dozen companies specializing in Bitcoin-related activities. At the end of the test period, the council will decide on whether to expand Bitcoin payments to other government services. (It’s a natural for Switzerland, it already has much of the world’s other monies locked up.)
– #NewsfromElsewhere

REAL SUPERSTITIONS FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH:
• To avoid bad luck, you’re suppose to get out of the same side of the bed you got into.
• If you spill salt, throw it over your shoulder to avoid bad luck.
• You should never leave your purse on the floor if you want to avoid bad luck.
• If a bill totals $6.66 you should either buy something else or leave extra change.
• If you cut your hair on Friday the 13th, legend says someone in your family will die.
• If a funeral procession passes you on Friday the 13th, you will be the next to die.
• A child born on Friday the 13th is said to be unlucky for life.
• To avoid bad luck when passing a cemetery, you’re suppose to hold your breath until you see a black or brown dog.
• Fortunately, you can always spin around 7 times to break any bad luck.
(What other bad luck tales have your heard?)
– Thanks to Polly @ Big Frog 104 Utica NY

DID YOU KNOW?
You get free anti-slip shoe covers if you are over 70 and live in the Finnish town of Ypaja.
– FiveThirtyEight.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.13.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [66] Stevie Wonder (Steveland Hardaway), Saginaw MI, oldies singer-songwriter with over 30 top 10 hits & 25 Grammy Awards (“Sunshine of My Life”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1964 [52] Stephen Colbert, Washington DC, TV host (“Late Show” since 2015, “The Colbert Report” 2005-14)/comedy writer-reporter (“Daily Show” 1997-2005)

1966 [50] Darius Rucker, Charleston SC, country singer (“Wagon Wheel”)/former pop singer (Hootie & the Blowfish-“Only Wanna Be With You”)

1979 [37] Mickey Madden, Austin TX, pop bassist (Maroon 5-“Moves Like Jagger”)

1985 [31] Iwan Rheon, Carmarthen, Wales, TV actor (‘Ramsay Bolton’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2013)

1986 [30] Lena Dunham, NYC, TV comedy creator-writer-actress (‘Hannah Horvath’ on “Girls” since 2012)

1986 [30] Rob Pattinson, London UK, movie actor (“Twilight Saga”)

1987 [29] Candice Accola, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Caroline Forbes’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

SATURDAY –
Movie producer George Lucas (“Star Wars”) is 72; Movie actress Cate Blanchett (“Blue Jasmine”) is 47; Pop singer Danny Wood (New Kids On the Block) is 47; Movie director Sofia Coppola (“Lost in Translation”) is 45; Indie rock singer-guitarist Dan Auerbach (The Black Keys) is 37; Pop-rock bassist Mike Retondo (Plain White T’s) is 35; Billionaire tech CEO Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Sports commentator Dan Patrick (“Football Night in America”) is 60; TV actor Russell Hornsby (“Grimm”) is 42; TV actress Alexandra Breckenridge (“The Walking Dead”) is 34; Indie rock guitarist Brad Shultz (Cage the Elephant) is 34.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blame Someone Else Day”, celebrated on the first occurrence of a Friday the 13th each year.
• “Friday the 13th”, the only one in 2016. Every year has at least 1, but never more than 3. It’s a bad day for those who suffer ‘triskaidekaphobia’ (fear of number 13) or ‘paraskevidekatriaphobia’ (fear of Friday the 13th).
• “Hummus Day”, an annual event celebrated on May 13th since 2012 to salute the spread made from cooked, mashed chickpeas blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and garlic. (The stuff also makes a good wall spackling.)
• “Leprechaun Day”, dedicated to the wee elves of Ireland. According to folklore, if you catch one he has to give you his pot of gold.
• “Tulip Day”, celebrated in several countries to welcome Spring. It’s a good excuse to drop by your favorite florist and pick up a tulip bouquet, but don’t expect their floral scent to enhance your home … tulips are virtually fragrance-free.

SATURDAY –
• “Dance Like a Chicken Day”. Everybody do the chicken dance now: “Dadda dadda dadda dah, dadda dadda dadda dah, dah dah dah dah, dum dum dum dum …”
• “International Migratory Bird Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Saturday in May.
• “Miniature Golf Day”, celebrated the 2nd Saturday of May to salute the frustrating game that involves putting balls through windmills and into clown mouths. Miniature golf has been around since the 1800s when the Ladies’ Putting Club had a mini-course in St Andrews, Scotland.
• “Stay Up All Night Day”, an annual celebration for people under 40 … who can actually do it.
• “World Belly Dance Day”, annually on the 2nd Saturday of May to share the joy of dancing and help a charity.
• “World Fair Trade Day”, observed on the 2nd Saturday of May to promote improved working conditions and payment for workers and producers around-the-world.
• “World Migratory Bird Day”, an annual observance on the 2nd Saturday of May. It’s the oldest of the days set aside to recognize birds, first observed in 1894.

SUNDAY –
• “Chocolate Chip Day”. Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven. Mmm, can’t you just smell ’em?
• “Flip Your Mattress Day”, an annual turnover to help prevent a case of the ‘lumpies’. You can’t flip a quilt-top mattress … is that fair?
• “International Day of Families”, established by the UN General Assembly in 1992.
• “Peace Officer Memorial Day”, the 35th annual observance during “Police Week” by over 20,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.
NET: http://www.nationalpoliceweek.com
• “Stepmothers Day”, celebrated on the Sunday after Mothers Day to highlight the differing bonds between biological parents, stepparents, and children.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [04] Final episode of ABC-TV’s “Desperate Housewives” after 8 seasons

2013 [03] Actress Angelina Jolie reveals in an op-ed piece in “New York Times” that she’s undergone a double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [05] “Like a Rolling Stone” is voted Bob Dylan’s best-ever song by a poll of music experts in “Rolling Stone” magazine

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2012 [04] Following a record $207 million opening the week before, “The Avengers” pulls in another $103.2 million, making it the 1st film to surpass $100 million in its 2nd weekend

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [09] CW’s “7th Heaven” wraps after 11 seasons, making it the longest running family drama in TV history (beating out both “The Waltons” and “Little House On the Prairie”)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Webby Awards
[Mon] Biographers Day
[Mon] Mimosa Day
[Mon] Piercing Day
[Tues] Same Sex Marriage Day
This Week Is … Children’s Book Week
This Month Is … Drum Month

BULL’S BITS

OTHER BS THINGS THAT ARE UNLUCKY BESIDES 13:
– An ancient superstition warns against opening an umbrella in your shorts.
– It’s testing fate if you try walking under a black cat.
– It’s extremely unlucky to attempt lighting 3 firecrackers on a match.
– Break a mirror and you’ll have 7 years of really bad shaves.
– It’s not good if instead of ‘The Luck of the Irish’ you have ‘The Luck of the Kurdish’.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Should governments step in to ban work emails and other digital communication during non-work hours? France is about to vote through a measure that will give employees for the first time a ‘right to disconnect’ from work.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 90% of us admit we do THIS, but 80% won’t do it if anyone else is around.
Answer: Sing in the car. (Women and redheads are most likely to.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It doesn’t take talent to practice.