Monday, November 30, 2015        Edition: #5582

December Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

★ Leading in to today’s kickoff of the 2015 UN Climate Change Conference (COP 21) in Paris, a slew of celebs have signed an open letter urging world leaders to make “an ambitious commitment” to slow global warming. Among those on the petition: Bjork, Coldplay, Colin Firth, David Bowie, Emma Thompson, Iggy Pop, and Yoko Ono. The stars have pledged to make their own businesses more sustainable and to use their fame to raise awareness.
★ Australian actor Chris Hemsworth (‘Thor’ films) is now a spokesmodel for upscale watch brand Tag Heuer. The 32-year-old has joined the likes of soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, NFL quarterback Tom Brady, and Brit model Cara Delevingne as an ambassador for the Swiss watch company. Chris’s first international ad campaign begins just before Christmas, modelling the new TAG Heuer Carrera Heuer-01 in-house chronograph design.
★ And the news just keeps getting worse for Simon Cowell. Not only has The “X Factor” been  tanking in the UK (after being cancelled in the US a season ago), but the latest series of “X Factor Australia” has also been the least watched ever. It didn’t even manage to perform well with the most crucial demographic … young people. So what exactly do the kids of Australia prefer to watch instead? Reruns. Of “The Big Bang Theory”.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ed Sheeran & Rudimental (“Lay It All on Me”).
• “It’s Your 50th Christmas, Charlie Brown” (ABC) – Kristen Bell hosts a 50th anniversary celebration of the iconic TV special “A Charlie Brown Christmas”.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Strung Out (“Transmission Alpha Delta”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – 5 Seconds of Summer (“Sounds Good Feels Good”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – P!nk (“The Albums … So Far!”); Flaming Lips (” Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 10 artists perform in hopes of making it to the next round; Gwen Stefani performs.

• Adele – Her new album “25” has outsold the rest of last week’s top 200 put together. And she’s just announced the first leg of her “25” tour begins February 29th in Belfast, Northern Ireland. The UK leg includes a 4-night stand at London’s O2 Arena.
• The Eagles – Don Henley tells “Mojo” magazine they’re working on a stage musical based around their biggest hit “Hotel California”. Glenn Frey hinted earlier this year that he was getting inspiration for an Eagles-based show after frequent trips to see Broadway performances.
• 50 Cent – His Effen vodka deal includes appearances in liquor stores. $30 gets you a bottle and a photo on his Facebook page. For $180, you get a case of vodka and get to take a selfie with your own phone. Word is Fiddy doesn’t actually drink the stuff … or any alcohol.
• Jason Derulo – The Australian leg of his tour can’t be going too well. A BOGO (Buy One Get One Free) ticket offer is available.
• Radiohead – Frontman Thom Yorke claims Tony Blair’s advisers tried to force him to meet and have a photo taken with the ex-Brit prime minister, but he refused because he deemed it ‘morally unacceptable’ to pose with the man who took the UK to war in Iraq.

The passenger aircraft of the future could one day be flown by remote, using pilots sitting in a control room thousands of miles away. Tests on a new breed of civilian aircraft which use the same pilotless technology currently found in military drones have already begun in the UK. The consortium behind the project hopes it will dramatically slash the costs of air travel and make new airborne services possible. (“Good morning, this is your pilot speaking. And if you look out the left side windows of the aircraft, I have no idea what you’re seeing …”)
– “Daily Mail”

Today the Sun enters Ophiuchus [oh-fee-YOO-cuss], the little-known 13th house of the zodiac. Howzat? Modern astronomers don’t divide the sky the same way the ancients did. According to up-to-date star maps, as well as Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, etc, the Sun passes through a 13th constellation, ‘Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer’, between November 30th and December 17th. Astrologically speaking, if you were born between those dates you are no longer a Sagittarian, you’re an Ophiuchi [oh-fee-YOO-kye]. (Well it’s better than being a crustacean with a rising cusp.)
– “Red Nova”

According to 2 studies, when you plant your tush in the cushy goodness of your favorite sofa or chair the air forced out of the foam cushions is released with a poof of dust that can contain unhealthy ingredients. That’s because cushion foam is made with flame retardant chemicals that can include Tris (banned from kids’ clothing in the ’70s due to concerns it might be a carcinogen), pentaBDE (a known toxin in animals), and others that are completely untested for safety. Blood samples confirm that these chemicals are making their way into our bodies. Meanwhile, the option to purchase flame-retardant-free furniture has become virtually non-existent. (Planning on hitting the sofa after a big meal? Wear a face-mask!)

According to the American Psychological Association …
5. Diet
4. Families
3. Lack of Time
2. Gift-Giving
1. Money
– Sourced from “Washington Post”

Before Google launched gmail, ‘G-Mail’ was the name of a free email service offered by the official website of cartoon character ‘Garfield’.


1937 [78] Ridley Scott, South Shields UK, movie producer-director (“The Martian”, “Gladiator”)  COMING UP: “Alien: Covenant” (2017)

1952 [63] Mandy Patinkin, Chicago IL, TV actor (‘Saul Berenson’ on “Homeland” 2011-15, “Criminal Minds” 2005-07)/movie actor (“The Princess Bride”)/Broadway actor

1955 [60] Billy Idol, Stanmore UK, classic rocker (“White Wedding”)/author (“Dancing With Myself”)/Vegas performer (“Billy Idol: Forever” residency at the House of Blues next March)

1957 [58] Colin Mochrie, Kilmarnock, Scotland [raised Vancouver BC], improv comedian (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2004, 2013-15)

1965 [50] Ben Stiller, NYC, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, “Meet the Parents” films)/movie producer-director (“Tropic Thunder”, “Blades of Glory”)

1982 [33] Elisha Cuthbert, Calgary AB [grew up Longueuil QC], TV actress (“One Big Happy” 2015, “24” 2001-10)/movie actress (“Old School”)/wed to NHL player Dion Phaneuf in 2013

1985 [30] Kaley Cuoco, Camarillo CA, TV actress (‘Penny’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007, “8 Simple Rules” 2002-05)

1985 [30] Chrissy Teigen, Delta UT, TV host (“Lip Sync Battle”)/fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”)/wed to singer John Legend in 2013

• “Cyber Monday”, the online version of “Black Friday”, encouraging holiday shoppers to check out Internet-only specials. The term “Cyber Monday” was coined on November 28, 2005 in a press release entitled “‘Cyber Monday Quickly Becoming One of the Biggest Online Shopping Days Of the Year”.

• “International Computer Security Day”, to remind us to protect our computers, programs, and data at home and work. Remember to always practise safe surfin’!

• “Meth Awareness Day”, a day of education and awareness of the dangers of methamphetamine. (Is ‘Walter White’ the poster boy?)

• “St Andrew’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of Scotland who hurled his last haggis in 60 AD. It’s the wannabe independent country’s national day. Be sure to dust off your sporran!

• “Stay Home Because You’re Well Day”, a day to call in ‘well’ instead of having to fake sickness in order to get a day off. (Yeah right, try this stunt and you can soon stay home every day.)

2004 [11] After amassing $2,520,700 on TV quiz show “Jeopardy!”, contestant Ken Jennings is finally knocked off by real estate agent Nancy Zerg on a question about taxes (during his record 75-game run, he gives correct responses to over 2,700 clues)

2011 [04] Washington State University researchers develop an artificial bone ‘scaffold’ which uses 3D printers to print replacement bone tissue for injured patients

1985 [30] ‘World’s Largest Beer Mug’, a 6-foot tankard that holds 615 gallons, is unveiled by the Selangor Pewter Company of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

[Dec 1] Antarctica Day / Basketball Day / Bifocals At the Monitor Liberation Day / Day Without Art / World AIDS Day
[Dec 2] Sinatra 100 – An All-Star Grammy Concert (Las Vegas NV) / Mutt Day / International Day For the Abolition of Slavery / Special Education Day / Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting (NYC)
[Dec 3] “The Wiz Live!” (NBC) / International Day of Persons With Disabilities / National Christmas Tree Lighting (Washington DC)
[Dec 4] “Krampus” opens in movie theaters / “A Very Murray Christmas” debuts (Netflix) / Faux Fur Friday / Cookie Day / Salesperson Day / World Wildlife Conservation Day
[Dec 5] Bartender Appreciation Day / Bathtub Party Day / Earmuff Day / International Ninja Day / International Volunteer Day for Economic & Social Development / World Soil Day
[Dec 6] Kennedy Center Honors (Washington DC) / Miners Day / Pawnbrokers Day / St Nicholas Day
[Dec 7] U2 s “Innocence + Experience World Tour” airs (HBO) / Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day / International Civil Aviation Day
[Dec 8] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS) / “Mariah Carey’s A Christmas Melody” (Hallmark) / Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day
[Dec 9] AACTA Awards (Sydney, Australia) / Cremation Day / International Anti-Corruption Day
[Dec 10] “Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors” (NBC) / Rihanna’s Diamond Ball (Santa Monica CA) / Dewey Decimal System Day / Human Rights Day / Nobel Prize Day
[Dec 11] “In the Heart Of the Sea” opens in movie theaters / 2015 Billboard Women In Music Celebration (NYC) / Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway) / International Mountain Day
[Dec 12] Day Of the Horse / Gingerbread House Day / Fresh Breath Day / Cocoa Day / Poinsettia Day
[Dec 13] Worldwide Candle Lighting Day / World Choral Day
[Dec 14] “Adele Live in New York City” (NBC) / Green Monday / Monkey Day
[Dec 15] Cat Herders Day
[Dec 16] Chocolate-Covered Anything Day
[Dec 17] “Canada’s Walk of Fame 2015 Gala” (Global) / Clean Air Day / Free Shipping Day / Re-Gifting Day / Wright Bros Day
[Dec 18] “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip”; “Sisters”; “Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens” open in movie theaters / Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day / International Migrants Day / Ugly Christmas Sweater Day / Underdog Day
[Dec 19] “John Lennon 75th Birthday Concert” (AMC)
[Dec 20] “Miss Universe Pageant” (FOX) / International Human Solidarity Day / Games Day / Sangria Day
[Dec 21] Winter Solstice / Celebrate Short Fiction Day / Crossword Puzzle Day / Flashlight Day / Global Orgasm Day / Humbug Day / Homeless Persons Remembrance Day / Short Girl Appreciation Day / Yule
[Dec 23] “The Big Short” opens in movie theaters / Human Light Celebration
[Dec 24] Christmas Eve / Egg Nog Day
[Dec 25] “Concussion”; “Daddy’s Home”; “Joy”; “Point Break” open in movie theaters / “Downton Abbey” UK series finalé (ITV) / Christmas Day / Full ‘Snow’ Moon / Christmas Pudding Day
[Dec 26] Boxing Day (Canada/UK) / Candy Cane Day / Thank-You Note Day / Whiners Day
[Dec 27] Visit the Zoo Day
[Dec 28] Endangered Species Day
[Dec 29] YMCA Day
[Dec 30] Bacon Day
[Dec 31] New Years Eve / Look On the Bright Side Day / Make Up Your Mind Day / No Interruptions Day / World Peace Meditation Day


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
✓ “Bring Home the Bacon” – In the 12th century, an English church promised a side of bacon to any married man who could swear he had not quarreled with his wife for a year and a day.
✓ “Chopped Liver” – Chopped chicken liver in many cooking schools is a side dish, one that is easily upstaged by the main course, thus explaining the question: “What am I, chopped liver?”
✓ “Easy as Pie” – Making pie ain’t exactly easy, so what’s up with this? Apparently, the expression was originally: “Easy as eating a piece of pie.”
✓ “Happy As a Clam” – Has its origins in the way clams are harvested at low tide. The phrase was originally ‘happy as a clam in high water’, since clams are out of danger at high tide.
✓ “Piping Hot” – Around since late medieval times, this expression refers to the steam that shot out of a spouted tea kettle. At the time, ‘piping’ was synonymous with ‘boiling’.
– First published in “BS” 2012.

• Goes to visit his sick mother … who passed away 5 years ago.
• Takes birth control pills when you’ve had a vasectomy.
• Says “You were great last night” … and you were in Winnipeg.
• Wedding ring now being used as a nose ring.
• There’s 3 gifts under the tree.
• You reach into the closet and someone hands you your jacket.
• On her last conjugal visit, she was sporting a tattoo of somebody else’s bass boat.
• Lipstick on her collar.
– First published in “BS” 2001.

☎ What’s the most unusual thing you do to spoil your cat? (A Mt Washington PA couple serves their puss afternoon tea daily … complete with apricot scones.)

Where is the windiest place on Earth?
a. Antarctica. [CORRECT. Also the coldest and driest.]
b. Chicago.
c. Taco Bell.

Bacon pants for Xmas, anyone?

In the winter it’s really cold in Motown. Three degrees, four tops.

Question: Half of people surveyed say doing THIS on a first date in unacceptable.
Answer: Taking a smoke break.

Some people are educated beyond their intelligence.

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