Monday, November 4, 2013        Edition: #5094

Wow, You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ 45-year-old Hollywood actor Josh Brolin was involved in a physical altercation during a night out on Saturday. The “No Country for Old Men” star was filmed scuffling with a security guard at O’Brien’s Irish Pub in Santa Monica, California after he was asked to leave at closing time. In the video Brolin can be seen throwing punches after a bouncer reportedly attempted to escort him out the door to pour him into a cab. An indication why his ex Diane Lane dumped him?
★ Good news, Tina Fey fans: The “30 Rock” star is producing a new sitcom, and NBC-TV just gave it a rare straight-to-series order for 13 episodes to premiere in Fall of 2014. The as-yet-untitled, single-camera comedy stars Ellie Kemper (“The Office”) as a woman starting over in NYC after escaping a doomsday cult.
★ IMAX, the cinema technology company specializing in massive 3-D screenings, is set to offer home cinemas for China’s wealthy elite, who are hungry for luxury goods of all kinds. 3-D films are growing in popularity, with more than 80% of audiences for the recent blockbuster “Gravity” opting to watch it in 3-D. IMAX already earns 16% of its revenue in China and has 131 screens there. Those numbers are likely to go way up … each IMAX luxury theater costs $250,000-plus.
★ And in a new interview with “GQ”, 28-year-old movie star Scarlett Johansson is asked what’s the stupidest question she’s ever been asked. She cites a female interviewer during her promo tour for “The Avengers” who would not be dissuaded from insistently asking what kind of underwear Scarlett wore in the movie. While Scarlett is admittedly no prude, she reveals she finally got fed up and retorted, “You’ve got to be f—ing kidding me.”

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Janelle Monáe (“The Electric Lady”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – King Krule (“6 Feet Beneath the Moon”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The 7 remaining couples perform; Cher performs and serves as guest judge.  BS FACTOID: A celebrity make-up artist is claiming Cher has now gone beyond plastic surgery and has a completely ‘prosthetic face’ that she puts on as part of her stage gear.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – New Hollywood Walk of Fame inductees Jane’s Addiction perform on the outdoor stage.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Indie-rock band The Dismemberment Plan (“Live in Japan”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Wanted (“Word of Mouth”, out tomorrow).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Music producer/performer Pharrell Williams.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Sting (“The Last Ship”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The contestants perform; Christina Aguilera and Flo Rida perform.

• Avril Lavigne – She & rocker hubby Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) say they’ll avoid drinking and partying in nightclubs when they are apart in an effort to avoid ‘temptation’. It’s a strict rule they’ve imposed on themselves as they prepare to head out on separate tours this Winter.
• Bon Jovi – The band’s 54-year-old estranged guitarist Richie Sambora played the famous “Call To the Post” at the Breeder’s Cup in Arcadia, California on the weekend. The traditional signal for racehorses to form up for a race is usually performed on a bugle. Listen here …
• Chris Brown – He & his lawyer met with his probation officer Friday afternoon and discussed the anger management treatment he’s receiving at a Malibu, California rehab. Word has it the Probation Department is not all that impressed and may reflect that in a court report this week.
• Justin Bieber – He’s spent $850,000 on a house for his father Jeremy and his half-siblings. The unannounced location of the 5-bedroom log home is thought to be somewhere in northern Ontario near a town of about 8,000 people.
• Justin Bieber 2 – “NY Post” says he & an unnamed friend were photographed Friday coming out of ‘Centaurus’, a popular brothel in Brazil, after spending 3 hours inside. To put it monetarily, a stay with one of the venue’s working women costs from $200-to-$400.
• Kanye West – He & Kim Kardashian have reportedly sued one of the co-founders of YouTube, Chad Hurley, claiming he violated a confidentiality agreement that he signed by releasing video of West’s over-the-top marriage proposal online. The suit claims the video ran on Hurley’s new website, MixBit.
• Katy Perry – “Prism” has just become her second #1 album, following 2010’s “Teenage Dream”.
• Lady Gaga – Today the trial over a wage dispute with her former personal assistant is scheduled to head to court. Ex-employee Jennifer O’Neill claims she is owed $380,000 for overtime work during the 2010 “Monster Ball” tour.
• Luke Bryan – He’s doubled up on the “Billboard” charts again this week, topping the ‘Country Albums’ chart with “Crash My Party” and the ‘Country Songs’ chart with “That’s My Kind of Night”.

Thinking of quitting smoking? Today may be your day. Researchers have discovered that more people Google for ‘quit smoking help’ on Monday than on any other day of the week. On average, Mondays feature 25% more quit-smoking searches. They decline through the week and reach a low point on Saturday, when they are 145% lower than on Monday. Stats show calls to quit-smoking hotlines and websites also peak on Mondays. The researchers are not surprised, noting that many people see Mondays as a fresh start. (Do you use it as a chance to get your act together … or do you just try to survive?)
– Condensed from “USA Today”

• China – Congee, rice porridge, is a popular breakfast item. The savory porridge can be eaten plain, or topped with anything from ground meat to squid.
• France – A piece of baguette, topped with butter and jam, is a common breakfast. Breakfast pastries, such as croissants, are often eaten together with coffee or a glass of juice.
• India – A breakfast plate might include roti (flatbread), dosas (thin crepes made of lentils), or idlis (steamed rice-dough pancakes), with spiced potatoes and different dips and chutneys.
• Japan – A bowl of miso soup and rice or rice porridge, sometimes accompanied by a piece of cooked fish, pickled vegetables, and of course a cup of green tea.
• Korea – Breakfast often includes a stew of some sort, rice, and several side dishes, such as kimchi, spinach and spicy cucumbers.
• Mexico – One common breakfast item is chilaquiles, fried corn tortilla chips topped with green or red salsa (or molé), eggs, pulled chicken, cheese and refried beans.
• Spain – A typical morning might start out sweet, with stick-shaped doughnuts called churros served with thick hot chocolate, used as a dip.

At the new Le Café des Chats, customers can grab a simple breakfast while watching 12 cats  wander through the café, perch on their ‘cat condos’, or watch passers-by from the front window. The café’s owner got the idea from the 150 or so cat cafés that have become extremely popular in Japan. She worked with animal welfare and the health department to ensure proper standards for both the cats and the customers. With more than 11 million cat owners in France, this new concept may become a trend. (Mmm, nothing like a piping hot croissant smothered in butter … and cat dander.)
– BBC Travel

Glamour is coming to one of the least glamorous places in the world … the NYC subway system. Beginning this morning, commuters will be able to get cosmetics tips and make purchases at an interactive kiosk. A hi-tech subway vending machine at Manhattan’s Bryant Park station is able to analyze the colors in a straphanger’s outfit and then recommend L’Oreal Paris products for her to buy on-the-spot. The ‘Intelligent Color Experience’ kiosk is the brainchild of ad agency CBS Outdoor. (Would you take time for this while rushing in to the office?)

• The mathematical odds of you meeting your ‘soul mate’ are 1-in-10,000.
– “Times of London”
• Tesla Motor’s all-electric Model S was the top-selling car in Norway last month.


1960 [53] Kathy Griffin, Oak Park IL, stand-up comedian/TV personality (“Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List” 2005-10)/failed TV talk show host (“Kathy” 2012-13)

1961 [52] Jeff Probst, Wichita KS, Emmy-winning TV reality show host (“Survivor” since 2000)/failed TV talk show host (“The Jeff Probst Show” 2012-13)

1969 [44] Matthew McConaughey, Uvalde TX, movie actor (“Dallas Buyers Club”. “The Lincoln Lawyer”)  UP NEXT: “The Wolf of Wall Street”, opening December 25th.

1969 [44] Diddy (Sean Combs), Harlem NY, hip-hop artist (“Shake Ya Tailfeather”)/recording mogul (Bad Boy Records)/fashion designer (Sean John)/entrepreneur (Ciroc Vodka)

1970 [43] Bethenny Frankel, NYC, TV talk show host (“Bethenny” since 2012)/TV personality (“Bethenny Ever After …” 2011-12, “The Real Housewives of NYC” 2008-10)/lifestyle author (“The SkinnyGirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life”)

1975 [38] Curtis Stone, Melbourne, Australia, celebrity chef/TV personality (“Around the World in 80 Plates” 2012, “Top Chef Masters” since 2011, “The Celebrity Apprentice 3” 2010)

• “Children’s Goal-Setting Day”, to encourage parents to foster goal-setting habits in their children’s lives. Children need goals, because they spend altogether too much time goofin’ around – you know – acting like kids.

• “Fill Your Stapler Day”, a semi-annual event created by the Dull Men’s Club to encourage us to load up our office staplers for another 6 months. (Are there greeting cards for this?)

• “Job Action Day”, when career and job-search experts come together to offer expert advice, tools, and solutions to help current and former military personnel transition to civilian careers.

• “Muharram” begins at sundown, the first month of the Islamic calendar when “Al-Hijra”, the Islamic New Year, is observed. The month of Muharram is also the time for several other annual events and 1 of the 4 sacred months in which fighting is prohibited.

• “Traffic Directors Day”, honoring radio & TV traffic departments, the ‘artisans of the inventory’, who schedule programs and advertising. (Yeah, thanks for the commercials, guys.)

• “Use Your Common Sense Day”, promoting the idea of making use of the knowledge and experience which we all allegedly have.

2008 [05] Barack Obama is elected the 1st African-American president of the United States

1973 [40] Chicago Bears set an NFL record by holding Green Bay Packers to a total of minus-12 yards passing

[Tues] Muse movie “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium” debuts in 20 cities
[Wed] CMA Awards (Nashville)
[Wed] International Day for Preventing the Exploitation Of the Environment in War & Armed Conflict
[Wed] Saxophone Day
[Thurs] Gin Day
[Thurs] Men Make Dinner Day

Animal Shelter Appreciation Week / Fig Week / Health Information & Technology Week / International Fraud Awareness Week / Nurse Practitioners Week / Patient Accessibility Week / World Communication Week


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Ask a phone contestant (kids are great) or studio guest to finish these famous quotations about football …
• “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the … [size of the fight in the dog.”]
• “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless … [you know where the goal posts are.”]
• “Let’s win one for the … [Gipper.”]
• “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the … [only thing.”]
• “Football features two of the worst aspects of life … [violence and committee meetings.”]
• “Some people think football is a matter of life and death but I can assure them it is … [much
more serious than that.”]
• “The beauty of the game of football is that so often you are called upon to do something beyond your capabilities, and … [you do it.”]
– First published in “BS” 2003.

• If you ate pasta and then antipasto, would you still be hungry?
• If you get into a cab and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cabby owe you money?
• If you’re a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?
• Instead of wasting time hunting and then cooking, why don’t hunters just use flame-throwers?
• Is ‘tired old cliché’ a tired old cliché?
– First published in “BS” 2008.

I tried to play my shoehorn but all I got was footnotes.

The shortest ever recorded lasted just 4 seconds. Which was it?
a. A marriage.
b. A professional boxing match. [CORRECT. 39 years ago today (1974) Mike Collins KO-ed Pat Bronson with a single punch.]
c. A musical recording.

• Furry dice not fancy enough for you? Behold the mini car chandelier …
• ‘Selfies at Funerals’ … the name says it all. Titillating or just plain tacky?

☎ Instagram before eggs? Which app starts your morning?

Question: Nobody keeps gloves in their vehicle’s glove compartment. Most of us have proof of insurance, car registration, napkins, and THESE.
Answer: Condiments. (Ketchup packets, sweeteners, etc. Thanks to GPS, maps are disappearing from the list.)

Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician.

De Wet Hugo @ LM Radio, Maputo, Mozambique; Freek van Leeuwen @ JouwRadio, Haarlem, The Netherlands; Roxanna Hernandez @ KLAV 1230, Las Vegas, Nevada; Mackenzie Heckbert @ Ocean 100 [CHTN] Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island; Allan Stevens @ 2day, Suva, Fiji; Michelle Taylor @  92.1 Lite FM [WRNQ] Poughkeepsie, New York; and Elizabeth Hall @ 90.1 The Heat [CRNC] Welland, Ontario.

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