Friday, October 25, 2013        Edition: #5088

Sheet For Brains!

★ Northern Irish actor Jamie Dornan has been tapped to replace Charlie Hunnam as ‘Christian Grey’ in the film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Dornan plays ‘Sheriff Graham Humbert’ on the ABC-TV series “Once Upon a Time”. The 31-year-old has also modeled for Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, and Armani. His modeling experience may be useful, as the part will require him to act in explicit sex scenes. Dakota Johnson will co-star as ‘Anastasia Steele’, with Sam Taylor-Johnson onboard to direct.
★ A gravestone commemorating Bryan Cranston’s fictional character on “Breaking Bad” has been removed from a cemetery in New Mexico following a petition from grieving families. More than 200 devoted fans of the show held a faux memorial for ‘Walter White’ last weekend. But leaving a tombstone behind sparked outrage from those with real relatives buried in Albuquerque’s Sunset Memorial Park. The marker will now be erected outside local restaurant Vernon’s Steakhouse, whose owners helped organize the fake funeral.
★ A new play chronicling the romance and marriage of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes is set to open in LA thanks to donations from fans. “The TomKat Project” received favorable reviews when it debuted in Chicago earlier this year, but producers were struggling with funding to stage it in LA until a Kickstarter campaign came through with the needed backing. Ironically, the play will open at the iO West Theater in Hollywood … just a few hundred feet from the Church of Scientology.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And here are the top-earning dead celebrities of 2013, according to the latest ranking …
5. Reggae legend Bob Marley ($18 million).
4. Former screen siren Elizabeth Taylor ($25 million).
3. “Peanuts” cartoonist Charles Schulz ($37 million).
2. 36-years-gone Elvis Presley ($55 million).
1. And making more dead than alive, Michael Jackson ($160 million).

• Bridge School Benefit (Mountain View CA) – Saturday-Sunday the lineup for Neil Young’s annual special-needs-school fundraiser includes a reunion of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young; plus Arcade Fire, Diana Krall, Elvis Costello, fun., Jack Johnson, The Killers, My Morning Jacket, Queens Of the Stone Age, and Tom Waits.
• “Dracula” (NBC/Global) – Tonight the premiere of a re-envisioning of the classic horror tale starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Henry VIII in “The Tudors”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs (“Last Train to Paris”).
• “The iHeartradio Album Release Party With Katy Perry” (CW) – Tonight another excuse to hype her new album “Prism”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Sleigh Bells (“Bitter Rivals”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Neighborhood (“I Love You”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight ‘Pearl Jam Week’ wraps up with the band performing new music from their latest album, “Lightning Bolt”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Cher (“The Voice”). Rerun.
• Life is Beautiful Festival (Las Vegas NV) – Saturday-Sunday this inaugural event features 80 chefs & restaurants, performances by Cirque du Soleil, plus circa 50 musical acts such as Alabama Shakes, Beck, Imagine Dragons, The Killers, Kings of Leon, and Vampire Weekend.
• Mountain Oasis Electronic Music Summit (Asheville NC) – This 3-day event is headlined by Nine Inch Nails, Bassnectar, and Pretty Lights. More than 50 artists will play the festival alongside panel discussions and other interactive experiences.
• “Queen Latifah Show” (syndicated) – Today Thomas Rhett (“It Goes Like This”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Edward Norton (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”); musical guest Janelle Monae (“The Electric Lady”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Scotty McCreery (“See You Tonight”).

• Britney Spears – Quote: “I would like to bring it back to the old days when there was one outfit through the whole video, and you’re dancing the whole video, and there’s like not that much sex stuff going on.”
• Elton John – Actor Tom Hardy (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Inception”) has now been confirmed to play him in a new biopic entitled “Rocketman”. The movie is due for release in 2015.
• Eminem – He tells “Rolling Stone” he’s battling sleep deprivation to put the finishing touches on his new album, “The Marshall Mathers LP 2”, in time for the scheduled release date of November 4th. Quote: “Right now, I’m probably working harder than I’ve ever worked in my life.”
• Jason Aldean – Tonight his 8th annual “Concert For the Cure” goes in New Orleans LA. Each year, he sets aside 50 cents from each concert ticket sold, then selects one market to receive the proceeds as a donation to the local Susan G Komen breast cancer organization.
• Katy Perry – Today she’s scheduled to perform at the high school of the winner of her recent “Roar” contest in which teen fans submitted videos of themselves singing her hit song.
• Lady Gaga – Today she formally releases her next single, “Venus”, from her upcoming new album “ARTPOP”. She’s also releasing 2 more preview tracks, one on Sunday and another on November 4th. The album hits retailers November 11th.

• “The Counselor” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Michael Fassbender stars as a lawyer who finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking. Co-stars Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem. Directed by Ridley Scott, based on  a Cormac McCarthy screenplay.
• “Bad Grandpa” ( R-Rated Comedy ): The ‘Jackass Presents’ has been removed from the title but it still reflects what type of fare to expect. 86-year-old Irving Zisman takes a journey across America with the most unlikely companion, his 8 year-old grandson Billy. Co-stars Johnny Knoxville, Jackson Nicoll, Spike Jonze, Georgina Cates.
• Opening in limited release: “Bastards” (Drama); “Blue Is the Warmest Color” (Romantic Drama); “Capital” (Drama); and “ Spinning Plates” (Documentary).

Short on charm and maybe pride too? You can bribe a date with a fancy dinner, shopping trips, a tank of gas, or even plastic surgery using a new mobile app called ‘Carrot Dating’. Love-seekers post on their profile what they’re willing to gift another man or woman and then wait for someone to take the bait. The app’s creator claims dating is a superficial game anyway and offering a bribe is just like a pickup line, only more classy and interesting. (What if you offer a hundred bucks? At what point does it become prostitution?)
– “The Independent”

A new listing of the ‘most thrilling’ airports (aka scariest) …
✗ Ketchikan International Airport, Alaska – Short runway close to mountains and the ocean, which drops to freezing temperatures.
✗ Madeira Airport, Portugal – Sharp turns and bumpy rides make for scary landings.
✗ Sea Ice Runway, Antarctica – Unpaved and ice may crack under the weight of a plane.
✗ Narsarauq Airport, Greenland – Planes approach through a fjord and make a 90-degree turn to line up on the runway.
✗ Gibraltar International Airport, Gibraltar – A major highway runs through the runway.
✗ Matekane Air Strip, Lesotho – Located on a cliff; planes drop down the side of it before flying.

Starbucks says it wants to do for tea what it’s done for coffee. It’s first Teavana Tea Bar opened yesterday on Manhattan’s Upper East Side in NYC. The store, with fashionably-gray walls, light wood and museum-esque lighting, looks very different from Starbucks and has no Starbucks branding. It’s said to feel fancier and more contemporary than a Starbucks store. It offers premium handcrafted tea beverages, a selection of freshly brewed premium loose leaf teas, tea-inspired food offerings, and tea merchandise. (You can get a cup of tea at a Starbucks, but you can’t get a cup of coffee at Teavana.)
– “USA Today”

As well as orange, pumpkins also come in white, blue, and green.


1957 [56] Nancy Cartwright, Dayton OH, really rich voice actress (‘Bart Simpson’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1961 [52] Chad Smith, St Paul MN, rock drummer (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“Dani California”, Chickenfoot-“Oh Yeah”)

1970 [43] Ed Robertson, Toronto ON, pop singer-guitarist (Barenaked Ladies-“It’s All Been Done”, “One Week”)

1971 [42] Craig Robinson, Chicago IL, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/TV host (“Last Comic Standing” 2010)/movie actor (“Pineapple Express”, “Hot Tub Time Machine”)

1981 [32] Austin Winkler, Oklahoma City OK, rock singer (Hinder-“All American Nightmare”, “Lips Of an Angel”)

1984 [29] Katy Perry (Hudson), Santa Barbara CA, pop singer (“Roar”, “California Gurls”)/singer John Mayer’s sometime GF/ex-Mrs Russell Brand 2010-12

1985 [28] Ciara (Harris), Austin TX, pop singer (f/Ludacris-Ride”, “Goodies”)

TV host Pat Sajak (“Wheel of Fortune”) is 67; Politician Hillary Rodham Clinton (ex-US Secretary of State) is 66; TV actor James Pickens Jr (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 61; Country singer Keith Urban (“Long Hot Summer”) is 46; TV show runner-writer-actor Seth McFarlane (“Family Guy”, “American Dad!”) is 40.

Movie actor-comedian John Cleese (“Monty Python”) is 74; Rock bassist Garry Tallent (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band) is 64; Oldies singer Simon LeBon (Duran Duran) is 55; Rock singer Scott Weiland (ex-Stone Temple Pilots) is 46; TV personality Kelly Osbourne (“Fashion Police”) is 29.

• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are!
• “Cartoonists Against Crime Day”, honoring cartoonists, graphic artists, and illustrators who promote crime prevention through their works. (Stop varmint … or I’ll draw!)
• “Chucky the Notorious Killer Doll Day”, celebrating the murderous, knife-wielding doll brought to life in horror films: “Child’s Play” (1988); “Child’s Play 2″ (1990); “Child’s Play 3″ (1991); “Bride of Chucky” (1998); “Seed of Chucky” (2004); “Curse of Chucky” (2013).
• “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” – spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” this weekend. It’s the site of the actual ‘Frankenstein Castle’ that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel.
• “International Bandanna Day”, when we’re encouraged to wear a bandanna to show people living with cancer that they are supported and not alone. In many areas bandanas will be sold as a fundraiser. The initiative originated in Australia.
• “International Greasy Foods Day”, a celebration of our love of fatty foods, foods cooked in oil, foods smothered in butter, etc. One of the grossest we’ve heard of is the Dutch tradition of saving bacon grease or ‘spek’, then spreading it on toast … cold.
• “Punk For a Day Day”, so get on your faux-hawk, your stick-on tats, your imitation leather and strut your stuff!
• “World Pasta Day”, honoring one of Italy’s greatest gifts to the world. This year’s ‘International Pasta Organization Annual General Assembly’ is being held in Istanbul, Turkey.

• “Mincemeat Day”. Odds are you either love it or you can’t stand the stuff. Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits, spices, and sometimes beef suet. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat; many modern recipes use vegetable shortening in its place.

• “Potato Day”, honoring the humble spud. What’s the best way to cook ‘em? Fries? Mashed? Baked? Au Gratin with Gruyere and Creme Fraiche?
• “Mother-In-Law Day”, the 11th annual salute to the old battle ax that’s celebrated on the 4th Sunday in October. This is one of two such days in the year … best remember them both!

2002 [11] “Jackass: The Movie” opens in theaters

1960 [53] Mick Jagger accidentally meets old school acquaintance Keith Richards on a train, eventually leading to the formation of the Rolling Stones

1980 [33] AC/DC earn their first Top 40 hit with “You Shook Me All Night Long”

1955 [58] 1st home ‘Microwave Oven’ is introduced by the Tappan Co, which slaps a $1,200 price tag on the new appliance that ‘cooks eggs in 22 seconds, bacon in 90 seconds’

1991 [22] 33-year-old Jack Feeser sets the unofficial ‘World Car Kissing Record’ in Hanover, Pennsylvania by smooching a Geo Storm for 145 hours, 14 minutes in order to win the vehicle from an auto dealership

[Mon] Cranky Co-workers Day
[Mon] Lung Health Day
[Tues] International Cat Day
[Tues] Visit a Cemetery Day
[Wed] Create a Great Funeral Day
[Thurs] Halloween
This Week Is … Disarmament Week
This Month Is … Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month


The best hipster get-ups are those that come off as thrown together, but with enough forethought to show serious time was put into them. The more obscure, the better. For instance …
• ‘Max’ from “Where The Wild Things Are” – Popular because it really only involves walking around in your long-johns and throwing on a crown.
• Spider-Man – Just slip into your Spidey PJs and you are good to go.
• Vampire Chicken – “How does your chicken taste Michael?” (“Lost Boys” references are retro.)
• Miami Tourist – Nothing says “I don’t care” like going to all the different Goodwills and finding the tightest neon garbage possible.
• Oscar the Grouch – “Sesame Street” is retro. Going as a naked Muppet is ironic.
• Any Wes Anderson Film – They all work because they all contain favorite despondent heroes.
• “The Royal Tenenbaums” –  A staple at any party in LA’s trendy Silver Lake-area hipster bars.
• No One is Cooler – Why dress as anyone else when you’re the coolest person you know?
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the best Halloween costume you ever saw at a party?

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

Question: On average, THIS will happen 970 times during your working life.
Answer: Payday.

The more things change, the more they stay insane.

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