Friday, October 28, 2011        Edition: #4618
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!

Model Heidi Klum has revealed she’ll be wearing a hand-painted, anatomically correct, blood & guts bodysuit called ‘Visible Woman’ for her Halloween bash at Tao in Las Vegas this weekend, then don a hairy ape suit for her party Monday night in NYC (she & singer-husband Seal are well-known for their elaborate annual Halloween do) . . . Filmmaker Steven Spielberg has confirmed he’s now working on a 4th instalment of his dinosaur movie franchise “Jurassic Park”, which he’s promising will be a big improvement on the last one in 2001 (what, are we running low on cash-flow?) . . . Odd couple of the week: 36-year-old comic Jason Sudeikis (“Saturday Night Live”) & 25-year-old midget twin Ashley Olsen (“Full House” and – most recently – “Full House”), who reportedly ‘got cozy’ at this week’s official after-party for the “Tower Heist” movie premiere in NYC despite the difference in age (and acting talent) . . . Singer-turned-actor Justin Timberlake (“In Time”) has revealed on “Ellen DeGeneres” he once lived with actor Ryan Gosling (“The Ides of March”) when they were regulars on Disney Channel’s “Mickey Mouse Club” and both thought they were ‘so cool’ (turns out only one was right) . . . ‘Gleeks’ will be thrilled to hear that Chord Overstreet (‘Sam Evans’) is returning to “Glee”, as well as Jonathan Groff (‘Jesse St James’), who’ll be back to play the coach of ‘Vocal Adrenaline’ (seems ‘greener pastures’ turned out to be less than green) . . . 56-year-old actor Bruce Willis (“Die Hard” 1-through-52) has a baby on the way early next year via 35-year-old designer-model wife Emma, their first child together (more thrilling news for his ex, Demi Moore) . . . Supermodel Gisele Bundchen tells the December issue of British “Vogue” she always watches what she eats and her 22-month-old son Benjamin is onboard as well, convinced that broccoli is actually dessert (Tom Brady’s former baby momma Bridget Moynahan will be seething when she reads Bunchen refer to 4-year-old Jack as ‘her’ eldest) . . . And Lindsay Lohan may put out a half-hearted effort when it comes to court-ordered community service but she apparently didn’t wuss out during her 4-day “Playboy” magazine photoshoot, TMZ reporting she’s revealed everything including – ahem – ‘the holy trifecta’ (something to do with a ‘photo finish’?).

• “Allen Gregory” (FOX/Global) – Sunday the debut of a new animated comedy about a super-smart 7-year-old who struggles to survive in a regular elementary school. Voice cast includes Will Forte and Jonah Hill, who co-created the series.
• “Chuck” (NBC) – Tonight the 5th season debut, followed by the series debut of “Grimm”, a new cop drama that investigates modern-day crime cases that loosely parallel the original Grimm Brothers fairytales. Stars David Giuntoli, Russell Hornsby, and Bitsie Tulloch.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Lights (“Siberia”).
• Slam for Children (Las Vegas NV) – Saturday the Andre Agassi Foundation’s annual educational benefit concert at Wynn Las Vegas features Jimmy Kimmel, Martina McBride, Michael Bublé, Smokey Robinson, and Train.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Chris Cornell (Soundgarden). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Goldheart Assembly (“Wolves & Thieves”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Duran Duran (“All You Need is Now”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Kelly Clarkson (“Stronger”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight The Head & The Heart (“The Head & The Heart”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Ben Stiller (“Tower Heist”, opening November 4th); musical guest Foster The People (“Torches”).
• “The Simpsons” (FOX/Global) – Sunday, fresh off a new contract settlement for the voice cast, the traditional Halloween instalment airs, “Treehouse Of Horrors XXII”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight AWOLNATION performs their hit single “Sail”. The band kicks off their “Fall Harvest Tour” November 2nd in Bakersfield CA.
• Voodoo Music Experience (New Orleans LA) – Soundgarden is headliner for the 13th annual Halloween weekend rock fest tonight-through-Sunday. Also on the bill: Blink 182, Snoop Dogg.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Toby Keith (“Clancy’s Tavern”).

• The Black Keys – Dan Auerbach tells “GQ” the ‘2011 Breakthrough Video’ trophy they picked up at this year’s “MTV Video Music Awards” was mislabeled. The plaque read: ‘The Black Eyed Peas – Tighten Up. Breakthrough Video’. Oops!
• Chris Brown – He’s signed on for a new movie about break-dancing entitled “Planet B Boy”, which follows an all-star dance crew as it prepares for the ‘Battle Of the Year International Championships’ in France. Josh Holloway (“Lost”) and Laz Alonso (“Avatar”) co-star.
• Guns ‘N Roses – Tonight they begin their first US tour in 5 years, a 30-plus date trek that kicks off in Orlando, Florida.
• Jay-Z / Kanye West – Tonight their “Watch The Throne” tour gets underway with the first of 2 consecutive shows in Atlanta, Georgia. It’s scheduled to wrap December 18th in Vancouver.
• Metallica – Tonight they make their first-ever concert appearance in India, as the headliner for “F1 Rocks”, a series of live concerts in conjunction with Formula One Grand Prix races. The inaugural Formula 1 Indian Grand Prix runs Sunday at Greater Noida.
• Simple Plan – Tonight the Montréal-based pop-punk band begins their “Get Your Heart On!” tour in Los Angeles. It runs through November 29th in New York, then heads to Asia.
• Sugarland – Tonight they return to Indianapolis for a free concert at Conseco Fieldhouse to help remember the 7 people killed when high winds knocked down the stage prior to their aborted August 13th appearance at the Indiana State Fair.
• Toby Keith – Sunday his “Locked & Loaded 2011 World Tour” moves to Europe for a performance in Edinburgh, Scotland. He then tours England, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, the Netherlands, and Germany.


• “In Time” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ) – In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. Stars Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy.
• “Puss In Boots” ( PG Family Animation ): The swashbuckling feline (Antonio Banderas) from “Shrek” goes solo in a prequel that tells the story of the events leading up to the sword-fighting cat’s meeting with the ogre and his friends. Co-stars Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis.
• “The Rum Diary” ( R-Rated Mystery Thriller ) – Johnny Depp plays a 1950s-era journalist who takes a freelance job in Puerto Rico, where he struggles to find a balance between island culture and the expats who live there. Based on the Hunter S Thompson novel.

A new Halloween-themed ranking of the scariest musical acts onstage …
5. Alice Cooper
4. Ozzy Osbourne
3. Slipnot
2. Lady Gaga
1. Marilyn Manson

Designer Marcia Patmos has collaborated with legendary shoe-maker Manolo Blahnik to create 2 styles of sustainable shoes: a double strap, open-toe flat; and a strappy, high-heeled sandal in combinations of electric blue, black, nude, and yellow. They’re made entirely from cork, raffia (palm tree), and tilapia (fish) skins, a by-product of the food industry. Patmos says she loves bringing the idea of sustainability into the luxury market, claiming it doesn’t have to be limited to T-shirts and grocery bags. The eco-friendly footwear will retail for $895 per pair. (Uh, that’s a lot of green too.)

Who’ll be the next big-name celeb to kick? 5-of-the-50 predicted by the ‘Death List’ website have already departed this year, including Betty Ford, Elizabeth Taylor, and musician Gerry Rafferty. Among those still hanging on …
• Pseudo-actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (94).
• Actor Kirk Douglas (95).
• Sci-fi author Ray Bradbury (91).
• Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (86).
• Entertainer Jerry Lewis (85).
So who are you betting on?


A recent study finds that the more vehicles there are on a highway, the faster they will travel … well, up to a point anyway. Computer analysis of traffic patterns shows that, with more cars, highways become so crowded passing is impossible, and the vehicles begin moving at a steady speed in a solid block. Passing, they say, actually slows down the average speed by interrupting the flow of the pack. (Keep this in mind while you’re in an hour-long standstill this morning.)
– “Nature”


MTV is looking to raise awareness and support for LGBT youth by live-streaming a Guinness World Record attempt for the ‘Longest Dance Party’ beginning Saturday. The end goal is crossing the 55-hour mark during the live “O Music Awards” show on Halloween. Fans watching will be able to make donations, which will be split between a number of charities.


1955 [56] Bill (William Henry III) Gates, Seattle WA, retired Microsoft mogul/world’s 2nd wealthiest human in 2011 at circa $56 billion/philanthropist (Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)

1956 [55] Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Aradan, Iran, President of Iran since 2005

1966 [45] Andy Richter, Grand Rapids MI, TV sidekick (“Conan” since 2010, “The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2000)/sometime movie actor (“Blades of Glory”, “Semi-Pro”)

1967 [44] Julia Roberts, Smyrna GA, movie star (“Eat Pray Love”, “Oscar-Erin Brockovich”)/mom to twins Hazel & Phinneaus

1969 [42] Ben Harper, Claremont CA, pop singer/guitarist (“Steal My Kisses”, “Diamonds On the Inside”)/ex-husband of actress Laura Dern

1972 [39] Brad Paisley, Glen Dale WV, country singer (w/Carrie Underwood-“Remind Me”, “Waitin’ On a Woman”)/16 #1 hits

1974 [37] Joaquin Phoenix, San Juan PR, movie actor (“Reservation Road”, “Walk the Line”)/sometime spoof rapper (“I’m Still Here”)

1979 [32] Dave Tirio, Villa Park IL, pop-rock guitarist (Plain White T’s-“1,2,3,4”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1998 [13] Nolan Gould, Columbus GA, TV actor (‘Luke Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

Movie actor Richard Dreyfuss (“Mr Holland’s Opus”) is 64; TV voice actor Dan Castellaneta (“The Simpsons”) is 54; Oldies singer Randy Jackson (The Jacksons) is 50; Movie actress Winona Ryder (“Star Trek”) is 40; Rock bassist Chris Baio (Vampire Weekend) is 27.

Rock singer/guitarist Gavin Rossdale (Bush) is 44; Rock guitarist/vocalist Ian D’Sa (Billy Talent) is 36; TV actor Matthew Morrison (“Glee”) is 33.

• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are!
• “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” – spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” this weekend. It’s the site of the actual ‘Frankenstein Castle’ that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel.
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, a day to celebrate your stuffed animal collection. ‘Plush’ sounds so much more humane, no? Ask listeners what animals they have saved from their childhood, where they keep them … and what they do with them.

• “Internet Day”, observed on the 42nd anniversary of the 1st connection on what would become the ‘Internet’. On October 29, 1969 bits of data flowed between computers at UCLA and the Stanford Research Institute. Within a year, 10 sites were connected and there were soon applications such as email.
• “World Psoriasis Day”, an annual observance to increase awareness of the life-long skin disorder that causes red, scaly patches called lesions to appear on skin. It’s estimated some 125 million people worldwide are suffering the malady.

• “Create a Great Funeral Day”, the 12th annual observance encouraging us to design our own unique ‘end-of-life event’.
• “Devil’s Night” or “Mischief Night,” traditionally a night of pranks before Halloween.

1992 [19] Disney releases “Beauty & The Beast” on video (by December it becomes best-selling video of all-time)

1971 [40] John Lennon & Yoko Ono record “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” in NYC

1991 [20] Rapper JC-001 sets the ‘World Rap Speed’ record on BBC-5 in London by rapping 631 syllables in 60 seconds

[Mon] Halloween
[Mon] Beggars Night
[Mon] Caramel Apple Day
[Mon] Knock-Knock Jokes Day
[Mon] Magic Day
[Mon] UNICEF Day
This Week Is … Save Your Back Week
This Month Is … Energy Awareness Month


• The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
• You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you something.
• If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
• If you wear your ‘Batman’ mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
• Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
• If you don’t get what you want, you can always try next door.


What do you say to make conversation with strangers?

When Bill Gates was only 14, his first company made $20,000 in its first year. What did it do?
a. Computerized traffic-counting systems. [CORRECT]
b. Pirated satellite TV signals for home use.
c. Franchised lemonade stands.

Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.

Question: A recent study finds that THIS type of person is usually happier and weighs less.
Answer: A ‘morning person’.


Never judge a book by its movie.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Monday’s “BS”!

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