Wednesday, October 5, 2011        Edition: #4601
Sheet Happens!

Last night’s Lifetime TV movie “Amanda Knox: Murder on Trial in Italy”, starring Hayden Panettiere, had to be altered at the last minute to incorporate this week’s appeal result in which the American student’s murder conviction was overturned (it still isn’t over if the prosecution decides to appeal the appeal) . . . 37-year-old TV actress Jenna Fischer, who plays ‘Pam’ on “The Office”, has welcomed her first son with husband Lee Kirk, whom they’ve named ‘Weston Lee’ (what a comparatively normal name for Hollywood!) . . . “People” magazine reports 27-year-old actress Olivia Wilde (“House”) is officially single after finalizing her divorce from her 8-year husband, Italian filmmaker Tao Ruspoli (word has it, actor Ryan Gosling is a now a ‘special friend’) . . . Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife Brooke Mueller has filed suit against The Canyon rehabilitation center in Malibu CA where she stayed last year, alleging that confidential medical info was leaked to the media (a girl’s gotta make an income somehow!) . . . “Twilight” actor Robert Pattinson has topped British “Glamour” magazine’s ‘50 Sexiest Men’ poll for the 3rd consecutive year, ahead of castmate Taylor Lautner and actor Johnny Depp . . . Meantime, 21-year-old “Twilight” actress Kristen Stewart tells US “Glamour” her #1 tip for maintaining a good relationship is ‘don’t be an a–-hole’ (how succinct) . . . And after almost 30 years, 80-year-old “Star Trek” legend Leonard Nimoy, who originated the half-Vulcan ‘Spock’ in the 1966 TV series, has announced he’s retiring from appearing at the hugely popular “Star Trek” conventions that still take place worldwide (he’s already lived long and prospered).

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Mos Def & Talib Kweli (“Black Star”).
• “George Harrison: Living In the Material World” (HBO) – Part 1 of a new 2-part documentary about the late Beatle, produced by Martin Scorsese. It includes home movies, interviews, and never-before-seen material. Harrison died of lung cancer in 2001 at the age of 58.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – J Cole (“Cole World: The Sideline Story”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Fools Gold (“Leave No Trace”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Elizabeth Cook (“Hey Y’All”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Portishead (“Third”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Mastodon (“Blood Mountain”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Joe Jonas (“Fastlife”, out October 11th).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Scotty McCreery (“Clear As Day”).

• Adele – She’s finished creating the theme for the next ‘James Bond’ movie and is set to go into the studio to record the track, which she wrote during a recent week off from touring. The franchise’s as-yet-untitled next film is currently in production.
• Celine Dion – She tells “Hello!” magazine that while she’s performing her Las Vegas residency, her 10-year-old son Rene-Charles is getting his school lessons from a tutor via Skype.
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin tells “Orange News” they prefer playing huge stadiums to small venues, because the audience can’t smell how sweaty they get. The band’s latest album, “Mylo Xyloto”, will be released October 24th internationally, October 25th in North America.
• Goo Goo Dolls – Their 1998 hit “Iris” has soared to #1 on the British iTunes chart after being performed by 2 finalists on the British version of “The X Factor”. The song is expected to top the UK singles chart this weekend, which would be its highest chart position ever.
• Jason Derulo – Tonight  in Glasgow, Scotland he co-hosts Britain’s annual “Mobo Awards” (Music Of Black Origin), alongside UK pop star Alesha Dixon. He tells “Daily Star” he’s nervous because he’s never hosted anything … not even a birthday party.
• Ke$ha – Rocker Andrew WK tells he’s sporting a scar on his arm after her unsuccessful attempts at tattooing left him with an infection. He says he doesn’t mind because the scar is ‘cooler than the tattoo’.
• Madonna – According to “SB Nation”, she’ll headline the “Super Bowl XLVI” halftime show in February in Indianapolis IN. However, there’s no confirmation of that from either her people or the NFL.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight their fall tour of North America begins in Los Angeles. They’re expected to debut new material from the upcoming album “Oceania”, due in November.
• Toby Keith – “Made In America” has become his 29th #1 country hit.

British Airways is offering frequent fliers the chance to use some of their collected air miles to take a course on … how to survive plane crashes. The 4-hour sessions on air safety will begin next year. The airline manager running the program says it will not only help make passengers safer when traveling, it will give them more confidence in flying by dispelling misconceptions and erroneous theories that tend to circulate online. (A big benefit to the airline … it’ll help eat up more of those millions-of-dollars-worth of air miles that people keep collecting and not using.)
– “The Independent”

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Lip Dub’ – A video that features large groups of people lip-synching to a song, which is later dubbed over the edited footage. The technique is being used by schools, businesses, and organizations to raise publicity, inspire fund-raising, generate team spirit, or just have fun. (Basically, a whole bunch of people mimicking Britney Spears.)
• ‘Underdecided’ – Being unenthusiastic or unsure about your choice of who to vote for in an election. ‘Underdecideds’ are often looking for any good reason to get enthused about changing their vote. (“I was undecided, now I’m underdecided because I’m underwhelmed by the candidates.”)
• ‘Yogasms’ – Describes the orgasmic sensations some women claim to experience while practicing yoga. Rumors of the phenomenon have circulated for years, but recently teachers and students have begun discussing it more openly. (Likely a rumor started by some sales rep who specializes in foam mats.)

• Looming Dread: Do you dread getting up in the morning to face another day of work?
• Is That All There Is? Do you find you lack a general interest in your job?
• Alienation: Do you no longer feel like interacting with co-workers?
• Overload: When people leave your company, are remaining employees expected to pick up the slack and work 2 jobs for the price of one?
• Unsung Hero: Do your extra hours and effort go unrecognized and unrewarded?
• Out of the Loop: Has a change in management left you out in the cold?
• Temper, Temper: Do you find minor challenges at work & home ticking you off more often?
Professional career counselor Sander Marcus says that if you answer ‘yes’ to 5 or more of these symptoms, your job is definitely at a dead end and you’re at risk of developing ‘career depression syndrome’.

The reason sound interrupts your sleep isn’t loudness but suddenness, ie: a honking horn or a cat fight outside your window. The Johns Hopkins Sleep Disorders Center in Baltimore, Maryland suggests using ‘white noise’ (‘background noise’) to block sudden outside noises. A constant stream of recognizable sounds, such as ocean waves or falling rain, can help keep sudden noises from waking you. If you don’t want to invest in a special ‘sound machine’, try a fan or anything else that drones on continuously. It’s suggested you have a timer shut it off so it doesn’t wake you later, during lighter phases of sleep. (Other suggested mind-numbing recordings: university lectures, work conferences, your uncle telling you about the old days.)
– “Real Simple”

Move over Facebook, there’s another social network in town. ‘MyMicrobes’ aims to bring together individuals with the same gut bacteria so that they can share questions and concerns about their digestive health. To join you send in a stool sample, along with a monetary donation to cover the cost of having the DNA of your microbes sequenced. The researchers behind the scheme hope to gather a wealth of data about the bacteria that live in people’s guts. It’s hoped that giving the project a social networking spin will encourage more participation. (Two words, folks. Snowball. Hell.)
– “New Scientist”

• There was once a soft drink called ‘Grape Blood’.
• There are at least 125 million living twins and triplets in the world.
– “London Observer”
• 47% of Americans say they’d like restaurants to offer healthier items like salad and baked potatoes but only 23% tend to order these healthier foods, according to a recent survey.
– AP


1943 [68] Steve Miller, Milwaukee WI, classic rock singer/guitarist (“Rock’n Me”, “The Joker”)

1947 [64] Brian Johnson, Newcastle UK, rock singer (AC/DC-“Black Ice”, “Back in Black”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1951 [60] (Sir) Bob Geldof, Dublin, Ireland, social activist (“Live 8”, “Live Aid”, Band Aid-“Do They Know It’s Christmas”)/former rock singer (Boomtown Rats-“I Don’t Like Mondays”)

1954 [57] David Bryson, San Francisco CA, pop/rock guitarist (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)

1967 [44] Guy Pearce, Ely UK [raised Geelong, Australia], movie actor (“The King’s Speech”, “The Hurt Locker”)

1975 [36] Kate Winslet, Reading UK, movie actress (2009 Oscar-“The Reader”, “Titanic”)

1978 [33] James Valentine, Lincoln NE, pop musician (Maroon 5-“Misery”, “Makes Me Wonder”)

1980 [31] Paul Thomas, Waldorf MD, pop-punk bassist (Good Charlotte-“Lifestyles Of the Rich & Famous”, “Girls & Boys”)

1983 [28] Jesse Eisenberg, Queens NY, movie actor (“The Social Network”, “Zombieland”)  COMING UP: Woody Allen’s “The Bop Decameron” (2012).

• “Apple Betty Day”, honoring the dessert aka “Apple Brown Betty”, “Apple Crisp”, “Apple Crumble” or “Apple Cobbler”. Whatever you call it … nummers!

• “Do Something Nice Day”, anything nice. And, do it to … or for, another individual. At the very least, it results in a smile.

• “Noisy Munching Day”, a day to annoy others by chewing ice cubes, pickles, chips … anything that’s crunchy and loud.

• “World Teachers Day”, begun by UNESCO in 1994 as recognition for the vital contribution teachers make to education & development. Over 100 countries now observe the day.

1991 [20] Actor Mark Wahlberg’s previous incarnation as hip-hop act Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch earns a #1 hit with “Good Vibrations”

2006 [05] Jeffrey Borer, owner of a company that sold Michael Jackson his private Gulfstream jet, is sentenced to 6 months in prison for ordering an employee to install video-cameras in it in order to catch Jackson saying something for which he could be blackmailed

1930 [81] Laura Ingalls completes 1st transcontinental airplane flight by a woman, flying a biplane from NYC to California in 4 days

1974 [37] American David Kunst becomes 1st person to walk around-the-world, completing the 14,450-mile trek after 4 years … and 21 pairs of shoes

1953 [58] NY Yankees defeat Brooklyn Dodgers to win their record-breaking 5th World Series in-a-row

[Thurs] Ecological Debt Day
[Thurs] Mad Hatter Day
[Thurs] Physician Assistant Day
[Fri] Diversity Day
[Fri] World Smile Day
[Fri] Yom Kippur begins (Jewish)
[Fri] Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest begins
[Fri] “The Ides of March”; “Real Steel” open in movie theaters
[Sat] “Michael Forever – The Tribute Concert” (Cardiff, Wales)
This Week Is … Customer Service Week
This Month Is … Cut Out Dissection Month


• Making a big pile of leaves and jumping in ‘em (unless you’re in Nunavut, where you make a big pile of snow and jump in).
• Pumpkin pie (made even better with liquid honey drizzled over the top).
• “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest Thanksgiving Day Parade” nationwide on CTV.
• Street hockey (interrupted frequently by the warning “Car!”).
• ‘Closing up’ the cottage.
• Pick-your-own apples (do those signs mean pick your OWN, leave ours the hell alone?).
• Hunkering down with a ‘brown pop’ to watch CFL football, then realizing you should have gone to the beer store BEFORE the holiday.
• Unbuckling your belt after dinner so you can breath.
(Have listeners add to the list!)

You should never moon a werewolf.

• ‘The Elephant Walk’ [Dance Craze]
• ‘The Bad Baboon’ [Dance Craze]
• ‘Equal Feet’ [Kama Sutra]
• ‘The Sparrow Sport’ [Kama Sutra]
• ‘The Beetle Squash’ [Dance Craze]
– Thanks to Rachel Good

• What was actress Kate Winslet’s nickname in high school?
a. ‘Monster’
b. ‘Blubber’ [CORRECT. She weighed 180 lbs before dropping 50 with Weight Watchers.]
c. ‘Katycakes’

• You’re an expert in ‘genuglyphics’. What’s you’re peculiar artistic interest?
a. Dying hair in multiple colors.
b. Painting knees. [CORRECT. It’s the art of painting or decorating the female knee to make it more erotic.]
c. Tattooing toes.

Where would you choose to live if you had to leave this country?

Question: A study shows men are far more likely to do THIS around the office than women.
Answer: Take breaks.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

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