Tuesday, October 8, 2019          Edition: #6547

The BS Press!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 14 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day.  The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 15.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kylie Jenner is showing off her new $3 million Bugatti, but the new whip is so expensive it has some fans calling for her to give that money to people in need. She posted video of herself lounging on the hood of the brand-new black Bugatti Chiron. Upkeep alone for the rare $3 million luxury sports car alone can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. One online commenter wrote: “How can people justify buying more cars than they possibly need when there are people out there who can’t eat! The money you spent on this you could of fed a village for a year at LEAST”.
-TheBlast
★ Ellie Kemper has given birth to a baby boy. Kemper, who is best known for her starring role in “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, took to Instagram to announce that she and her husband Michael Koman welcomed their second child on September 5. Kemper, who also has a three-year-old son named James, made a conscious effort to keep her first pregnancy a secret, hiding the news from her co-stars while filming her show.
-ContactMusic
★ A new promo for Riverdale’s Season 4 premiere confirms the death of a major character that, while no surprise, still hurts. As many expected, The CW’s Archie Comics drama will say goodbye to Fred Andrews, the character played by the late Luke Perry, in the episode scheduled to air tomorrow. The decision to kill off Fred, who is the father of main character Archie Andrews, comes due to the real-life death of Perry in March.
-PopCulture
★ The most recent episode of the Comedy Central’s “South Park” has been scrubbed from the internet in China because of its critique of the relationship between Hollywood and the Chinese government. The episode, “Band in China,” aired October 2 in the U.S and was the second episode of the show’s 23rd season. “South Park” is not officially released in China, but pirated versions of new episodes have long circulated online.
-Yahoo

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tyler Perry, Sunny Hostin, Gina Brillon
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Clive Owen, Elsie Fisher, Lewis Capaldi
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Will Smith, Andrew Scott
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson, David Remnick, Steve Gorman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bradley Whitford, King Calaway
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Brett Gelman, Chris Jericho, Megan Gailey
• “Conan” (TBS): Natasha Lyonne (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Lauren Lapkus, Emily Simpson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Neil deGrasse Tyson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Adam Devine
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Puth
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): The Jonas Brothers, Kieran Culkin
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Beth Behrs, Jeff Dunham, the Detroit Youth Choir performs, Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan
• “The Flash” (CW): Season 6 premiere
• “2019 Hip Hop Awards” (BET): Lil Kim receives the I Am Hip Hop Award; Anderson .Paak, Chance the Rapper, Da Baby, Kamillion, Lil Baby, Lil John, Megan Thee Stallion, Offset, and others perform. Hosted by Lil Duval.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake — His new mansion in Toronto features, among other things, a singing toilet. TMZ obtained video which shows a musical toilet that begins to play soothing, ambient sounds while automatically opening. Also featured in Drake’s crib: An entire OVO basketball court.
• Aaron Carter – says that he has found his dream home–in Canada. He posted a picture, and wrote: “ok guys I have a BIG announcement, I found my new home and I’m starting the process on buying this home tomorrow. I’m in the North Pole now!” He added the hashtags #GoodByeAmerica and #NorthWestTerritories.
• Michael Jackson — A new musical based on his life and career has been retitled. Originally christened “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough,” it will now be known as “MJ.” It’s being developed in New York City and is scheduled to hit Broadway in the summer of 2020.
• Aerosmith – The fan who caught Steven Tyler’s customized “Vegas Strong” black T-shirt last Tuesday night, the second anniversary of the Route 91 Harvest festival shootings on the Las Vegas Strip, plans to return it to him tonight. After it was suggested that the shirt should be added to the band’s display at Park Theater, Tyler offered two VIP meet-and-greet packages to whomever would return the shirt. The lucky fan’s name? Barbie Dahl.
• The Beatles – Their “Abbey Road” album has returned to the top of the British album charts 50 years after its first release. Its initial 17-week run at number one ended on January 31, 1970, and it returns to the top of the charts after a gap of 49 years and 252 days, a feat certified as a Guinness World Record.
• Nickelback — U.S. streams and sales for their 2005 song ‘Photograph’ surged following the song’s inclusion in a meme tweeted by President Donald Trump on Oct. 2. The song earned 772,000 on-demand streams on Oct. 2-3, a 38% increase. Digital download sales were up 569% over the previous two days.
• Keith Urban – His 7th “All for the Hall” benefit concert will take place on Feb. 10 at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena, with an all-star lineup that includes Ingrid Andress, Luke Combs, Lauren Daigle, Brothers Osborne, Blake Shelton, Chris Stapleton, Tenille Townes and Tanya Tucker. This year’s theme is “Under the Influence”. Each artist will perform a song that was recorded by an artist who strongly influenced them, plus one of their own hits.
• Carrie Underwood – has finally met Savannah Dahan, the 8-year-old girl whose video of her using Sign Language to rock out to Underwood’s hit ‘The Champion’ went viral. Underwood tweeted video of her singing the song a cappella with Dahan enthusiastically signing the lyrics alongside, and wrote: “Savannah! You bring so much joy to #TheChampion! Thank you for such a special moment last night in D.C.”

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES (Streaming and/or DVD):
• “Toy Story 4” (G, Animation/Family):  When a new toy called “Forky” joins Woody and the gang, a road trip alongside old and new friends reveals how big the world can be for a toy. (Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Annie Potts)
• “American Woman” (R-Rated, Drama):  In a blue-collar town in Pennsylvania, a woman’s teen daughter goes missing and she is left to raise her infant grandson alone…until the truth is discovered 11 years later. (Aaron Paul, Christina Hendricks, Sienna Miller)
• “Annabelle Comes Home” (R-Rated, Horror/Suspense):  While babysitting the daughter of Ed and Lorraine Warren, a teenager and her friend unknowingly awaken an evil spirit trapped in a doll. (Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson)
• “Deadwood: The Movie” (Drama/Western):  As the residents of Deadwood gather to commemorate Dakota’s statehood in 1889, saloon owner Al Swearengen and Marshal Seth Bullock clash with Senator George Hearst. (Timothy Olyphant, Ian McShane)

IT’S WORTH A SHOT:
With some experts predicting a nasty flu season beginning this fall, this might be a good time to answer that age-old question: When is the best time to get your flu shot? The Center for Disease Control recommends people in North America receive their flu shots by the end of October. Why? Flu generally starts to spread as the weather cools down, partially because the influenza virus has a protective coating that needs cold temperatures to stay intact. The idea is to be protected from the virus before that happens, and it takes about two weeks after you’ve received the shot for the body to build up its protective store of antibodies. Children between 6 months and 8 years old need two doses spaced four weeks apart, so they should start even earlier — basically as soon as the vaccine is available. The CDC also reminds you that even if you aren’t able to get the shot by the end of this month, you should still do so ASAP, because even receiving your protection late is better than none at all.
(And if I have to get a needle, so should you!)
(And if you still get the flu, at least you can look forward to a few days of Netflix and chills…)
(I’d have a funny line to end this, but it would just be some sort of sick joke…)
-Curiosity

GET CRACKING:
It is often said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Turns out that’s true…if you are watching your weight. But, of course, not all breakfasts are created equal. And researchers say that eggs just might be the ideal breakfast food for weight loss. A few recent studies found that people who eat eggs for breakfast can drop as much as 65% more weight over eight weeks. And another study suggests that eggs can stabilize blood sugar and suppress hunger, too. Alyssa Pike, Manager of Nutrition Communications for the International Food Information Council, says that we should focus on high-protein and fibre foods for breakfast because they can help you feel full longer. She says a good example of this would be egg and avocado or egg on whole-wheat bread. The feeling of fullness you get from a breakfast like that helps cut down on grazing during the day.
(The don’t happen to make Egg Pop-Tarts, do they?)
(Apparently, eggs can’t be beaten!)
(I find another way to feel full all day is to start at the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet!)
-BestHealth

HYPERACTIVITY:
It sounds like something from an episode of “The Simpsons”, but apparently it is actually going to be built. Construction on the world’s first Hyperloop is expected to begin in India late next year. The Virgin Hyperloop One system is a futuristic mode of transportation that would put passengers in pods that would magnetically levitate and travel through vacuum tubes across states, or even countries. It’s said that the system will move passengers as fast as 670 miles per hour, yet so smoothly that they will be able to hold a cup of coffee while travelling. The plan is to begin with a 7.5-mile route, which will eventually be expanded to run the 75 miles between Mumbai and Pune. Someday, an American Hyperloop could cut the duration of a trip from Las Vegas to Los Angeles to 30 minutes from one hour via plane.
(I HOPE they’re fast….because there’s no restroom!)
-YahooFinance

DID YOU KNOW?
Reading a printed book to a child, rather than an e-book or tablet, can have long-lasting positive effects on the relationship between parent and child, according to research published in JAMA Pediatrics. Researchers found when reading a printed book, parent and child were much more engaged with one another, and when reading from a tablet, they turned away from each other, didn’t share the device, and pushed each other’s hands away.
-ABC

BS CHRONOMETER 10.08.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [76] Chevy Chase, New York City NY, TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” 1975-2013, “Community” 2009-14)/movie actor (“Vacation” movies)

1949 [70] Sigourney (Susan) Weaver, NYC, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Alien” movies) COMING UP…”Ghostbusters 2020″

1970 [49] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“The Martian”, ‘Jason Bourne’ films)/screenwriter (Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”) COMING UP…”Jay and Silent Bob Reboot”, 2019

1980 [39] Nick Cannon, San Diego CA, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” 2009-16)/movie actor (“Drumline”)/wed to singer Mariah Carey (2008-15)

1985 [34] Bruno Mars (Peter Hernandez), Honolulu HI, pop singer-songwriter-producer (‘Locked Out of Heaven’, Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars-‘Uptown Funk’)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pierogi Day” (also spelled pyrogy, perogi, pirogi), honoring the traditional Eastern European dish consisting of boiled dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with various ingredients. They’re best served while wearing a babushka. So, what’s the yummiest kind?
• “Touch Tag Day”, an annual salute to the schoolyard game that almost every kid has played in some version. The game that’s variously known as ‘Touch’, ‘Tag’, ‘It’, ‘Chasey’, and ‘Catching’ has been played by children for thousands of years, going back as far as Ancient Egypt. Best thing about it … the equipment is really cheap!
• “World Octopus Day”, an annual celebration of the odd animal with 8 semi-autonomous arms, thousands of smart suckers, cold-adapted blue blood, 3 beating hearts, and eerily advanced intelligence.
• “Own Business Day”, dedicated to all independent business owners in the world to celebrate and pay tribute to them by promoting and giving them extra awareness.
• “Fluffernutter Day”, a sandwich consisting of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, or creme, that is usually served on white bread. Sometimes foods such as bacon or bananas are added to the fluffernutter as well.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Curious Events Day
[Wed] Emergency Nurses Day
[Thurs] Hug a Drummer Day
[Thurs] National Angel Food Cake Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [15] Martha Stewart begins her prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy in a stock trading case (her career never really recovers)

TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
1971 [48] John Lennon releases his peace anthem ‘Imagine’. “Rolling Stone” later ranks it number three in their list of “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”

2015 [04] Actress and singer Selena Gomez reveals that she suffers from the autoimmune disease Lupus

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [05] Buffalo Bills are sold to businessman Terry Pegula for $1.4 billion, the highest price paid in history for an NFL team (late previous owner Ralph Wilson paid $25,000 in 1959)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ On average, a person’s respiration rate is one third higher in spring than in autumn.
✓ A newborn child can breathe and swallow at the same time for up to seven months.
✓ The memory capacity of the human brain is equivalent to more than four terabytes.
✓ The total weight of the bacteria in the human body is 2 kg.
✓ The rate at which a person’s hair grows doubles during an airplane flight.
✓ Among those who can move their ears, only one third of them are able to move just one ear.
-BrightSide

BS HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
• BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
• POODLE: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
• GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
• DACHSHUND: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
• LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
• ROTTWEILER: Make me.
• TIBETAN TERRIER: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy!
• JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
• GERMAN SHEPHERD: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make one more perimeter patrol to see that no has tried to take advantage of the situation.
• COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
• DOBERMAN: While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.
• BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark……
• CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
• IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I’ve got this hangover….
• POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….
• GREYHOUND: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
• AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..
• OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.
• HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z…z
• THE CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, dinner, and a massage?
-Restedddoginn

Best of BS . . .
BS THANKSGIVING ‘TO-DO’ LIST:
• Go to supermarket, try to fit 3 frozen turkeys in pants.
• To give turkey delicious smoky flavor, leave in garage 4 days with car running.
• Buy fake severed finger to put in stuffing … a sure laugh-getter.
• Boil down bag of cranberries to make sauce which will stay untouched in the refrigerator until next July.
• Hook up tubing for gravy I-V.
• Check mother-in-law’s plane reservations. Give thanks for round-trip tickets.
• Practice Heimlich maneuver.
• Be prepared … unbuckle pants now.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2015

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your favorite way to waste time (BESIDES playing with your smartphone)?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  There are 3.04 trillion of THESE on Earth. What are they?
Answer:  Trees.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Style is a way of saying who you are without having to speak.