Wednesday, September 14, 2011        Edition: #4586
There’s No BS Like Show BS …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight aging pro wrestling icon Hulk Hogan launches a new reality TV show, “Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling” (TruTV), which chronicles the lives of a group of midget wrestlers based in Florida (um, are we hard up for bucks?) . . . Baseball slugger Manny Ramirez, accused of slapping his wife Juliana in a domestic incident, has been released on $2,500 bond after appearing in a Florida courtroom yesterday, but is NOT allowed to have any contact with his spouse (until he lowers his battering average) . . . #1 on “Forbes’ new list of ‘Entertainment’s Highest Paid Men’ is producer/director/writer/actor Tyler Perry (“Meet the Browns”, “House of Payne”, “Madea” films) with $130 million over the past year , followed by producer Jerry Bruckheimer (“Pirates Of the Caribbean” movies) at $113 million (compared to Perry, he doesn’t have to work that hard) . . . It’s been confirmed “The Book of Mormon”, “South Park” creators Trey Parker & Matt Stone’s Broadway hit, is going to be a movie – but not for several years (until their bank account finally dips) . . . 24-year-old “90210” actress Annalynne McCord has gone public about her romance with former “Prison Break” star Dominic Purcell (41) who is 17 years older, telling “Us Weekly” they are the ‘perfect item’ despite the age difference (yeah, wait till his TV money runs out) . . . And a rep for Selena Gomez tells “E! News” the 19-year-old singer did NOT get Justin Bieber’s name tattooed on her wrist, it’s just that she likes scrawling ‘Justin’ on herself with magic marker as much as any other (pre)teen girl (thank gawd, now we can all sleep!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Tonight host Nick Cannon (finally) reveals the winner; performers include Cirque du Soleil, Jackie Evancho, Queen Latifah, Tony Bennett.
• “America’s Next Top Model” (CW/CTV2) – Cycle 17 premieres with fan-favorite contestants re-enacting memorable moments during the first photo shoot.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Sklar Bros (“Poppin’ the Hood!”).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Common (“The Dreamer, The Believer”, out November 22nd).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Shania Twain (“From This Moment On”). Rerun.
• “H8R” (CW) – Mario Lopez hosts the series debut of this new reality show in which celebs go head-to-head with members of the public in an attempt to win their ‘haters’ over. Tonight’s episode features TV personality ‘Snooki’ Polizzi (“Jersey Shore”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Cake (“Showroom Of Compassion”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Grouplove (“Grouplove”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Neon Indian (“Psychic Chasms”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Lenny Kravitz (“Black & White America”). Rerun.
• “Survivor: South Pacific” (CBS/Global) – Host Jeff Probst introduces a new cast of contestants in the 90-minute 23rd season debut, including 2 beauty pageant queens; country music singer-songwriter Whitney Duncan; and Brandon Hantz, 19-year-old nephew of notorious villain and 3-time castaway Russell.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Lenny Kravitz (“Black & White America”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Needtobreathe (“The Reckoning, out September 20th).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Frontman Steven Tyler is in mourning after his father, Victor Tallarico, has passed away at the Hunt Community assisted living facility in Nashua, New Hampshire at age 95.
• Amy Winehouse – Today, on what would have been her 28th birthday, her final recording “Body & Soul” is released. The song will be included on Tony Bennett’s “Duets II” album, out September 20th. The video with Bennett debuts on MTV this morning. The duo recorded the track and video at Abbey Road Studios in London on March 23rd.
• “The Big 4” – Tonight metal gods Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax play NYC’s Yankee Stadium. They played their first-ever North American concert together April 23rd in Indio, California.
• Doris Day – The 87-year-old movie star-singer’s new album “My Heart”, her first collection of unreleased material since 1994, has made her the oldest living person to hit the UK’s top 10 albums chart with a new recording. It was produced by her late son Terry Melcher.
• Jason Aldean – “My Kinda Party” has become his first album to go double platinum for shipments of 2 million copies. The single “Dirt Road Anthem” has also been certified double platinum for 2 million downloads.
• Phish – Tonight they’re staging a benefit concert in their home state of Vermont to raise money for victims of Hurricane Irene. The gig in Essex Junction is designed to boost the relief fund.
• Wiz Khalifa – Photos leaked online suggest he’s wed model Amber Rose, former girlfriend of Kanye West. MediaTakeOut.com is also reporting that she’s pregnant.

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Filter Bubble’ – Search results, recommendations, and other online data that have been filtered to match your interests, thus preventing you from seeing data outside of those interests.
All this personalization creates a unique information ecosystem for each person online.
• ‘Manties’ – A fashion industry contraction of ‘man’ and ‘panties’, the wordplay meant to describe certain undergarments for males. It’s part of a special shorthand for men’s fashion that’s emerged over the last decade, which includes terms like ‘murses’, ‘mankinis’, and ‘mantyhose’.
• ‘Smishing’ – A blend of ‘SMS’ + ‘phishing’, it’s an attempt to fool people into submitting personal, financial, or password data by sending a text message with a link to a scammer-controlled website.

VIRTUAL JOURNALISM:
Financial reporters hoping to land a scoop currently have to trawl through mountains of company filings – a tedious and time-consuming task. But now MarketBrief, a start-up company in Mountain View, California is promising to take the drudgery out of the process. Just as websites are published in HTML, so company statements use a format called XBRL (eXtensible Business Reporting Language). MarketBrief’s software generates print articles by extracting key facts from the XBRL data and slotting them into predefined sentences. (Robotic media – what could possibly go wrong? Robotic media – what could possibly go wrong? Robotic media …)
– “New Scientist”

ON THE I-R:
It’s been announced San Francisco Giants pitcher Jeremy Affeldt will miss the remainder of the 2011 regular baseball season due to a deep cut on his right hand which he suffered while … trying to separate frozen hamburgers with a knife. A few other wacky injuries that have sidelined pro ball players over the years …
• Wade Boggs hurt his back when he lost his balance trying to … put on cowboy boots.
• Odiebe McDowell cut his finger at a Texas Rangers’ luncheon while … buttering a roll.
• Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while … vomiting.
• Rick Honeycutt injured his wrist while … flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout.
• Phil Niekro injured his hand due to … shaking hands too hard.
• Nolan Ryan was sidelined after being … bitten by a coyote.
• John Smoltz burned his chest while ironing a shirt … that he was wearing.
– “San Jose Mercury-News” / hsbaseballweb.com

KISS MY PHONE:
The next generation of phones could hold your hand, breathe on your neck, and maybe even kiss your cheek. In pursuit of more ‘emotional’ and ‘sensory’ phones, designer Fabian Hemmert at the Berlin University Of the Arts has unveiled 3 phone prototypes that can recreate these sensations. The most alarming (and creepy) version is the kissing simulator, which involves a moisture sensor on the smoocher’s phone and a motorized wet sponge pushing against a membrane on the receiver’s phone. The sensor can differentiate between a peck on the cheek and a full-on sloppy kiss … and moves the wet sponge to simulate accordingly. (Ick, no thanks!)
– “Los Angeles Times”

WEIRDEST WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS:
In these real but really strange competitions, well-honed ‘athletes’ seek to be the world’s best …
• Anvil Shooting – In Laurel, Mississippi participants place gunpowder atop a 120-lb anvil, stack another on top, then light the fuse. Points for vertical height (up to 150 ft); penalties for landing distance away from the ‘launch anvil’.
• Egg Throwing – Target throwing against an unfortunate volunteer who must stand still while being serial-egged. In the British version, extra points are awarded for pelting his groin.
• Kudu Dung Spitting – In the South African region where kudu antelope are prevalent, people participate by placing a dried kudu poop pellet in their mouths and spitting it as far as they can.
• Mobile Phone Throwing – This distance contest began in Finland, home of cellphone-maker Nokia. There are now 4 categories: ‘Original’, ‘Freestyle’, ‘Team Original’, and ‘Junior’.
• Pea Shooting – Target shooting from no less than 12 yards away. Recent additions to old-school pea-shooter tubes include gyroscopic stabilizers and laser sights.
• Toe Wrestling – Foot-on-foot combat resembling arm wrestling excepting that pinkies are used. The spectacle began in a Wetton, England pub in the mid 1970s.
• Worm Charming – Contestants attempt to attract the most worms to the surface of a 9-by-9 foot rectangle of damp field. No digging allowed!
– UrbanSavior.com

FLAT EARTH SOCIETY:
Sportswriter Thijs Zonneveld has become a household name in the Netherlands thanks to a whimsical idea that he intended as a joke. But it’s since caught the public’s imagination and is being taken seriously. His brainwave? As Holland is an extremely flat country, why not build a 2,000-meter (6,500-ft) mountain? It seems the Dutch are tired of driving to Germany, France, and Switzerland to admire the peaks. (Sounds crazy, but then this is the country that filled in part of the sea to make more land … they’re into topography design.)
– “Der Spiegel”

DID YOU KNOW?
• The first aerosol shaving cream cans were sold in the 1950s. Within just one decade, canned shaving cream accounted for two-thirds of all shaving cream sales.
• Hawaii is the most isolated population center on Earth. It is 2,390 miles from California, 3,850 miles from Japan, and 4,900 miles from China.
– TTP

BS CHRONOMETER 09.14.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [64] (Nigel) Sam Neill, Omagh, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Jurassic Park”, “The Piano”)/TV actor (“The Tudors” 2007-08)

1965 [46] Dmitry Medvedev, Leningrad, Russia, President of Russia since 2008 (aka Vladimir Putin’s flunky)/First Deputy Prime Minister of Russia 2005-08

1971 [40] Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Rye NY, TV actress (“According to Jim” 2001-09)/movie actress (“Father Of the Bride” films)/wed to country star Brad Paisley since 2003

1973 [38] Nas (Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones), Queens NY, rapper (“Got Ur Self A…”, “Street Dreams”)/married to hip-hop artist Kelis 2005-09

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops? The most popular cream-filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream.

• “International Cross-Cultural Day”, a good excuse to pepper your show with greetings in different languages. The website for the ‘Say Hello Project’ will help you out …
NET: http://www.ipl.org/div/hello/

• “Pregnant Women’s Day”, set aside to honor all moms-to-be. What’s the most unusual pregnancy craving you’ve heard of?

• “US National Anthem Day”, celebrating the anniversary of Francis Scott Key penning the lyrics to the “Star-Spangled Banner” in 1814. The Washington DC attorney adapted his lyrics to the tune of a popular drinking song, “To Anacreon in Heaven”, and the result later became the official anthem in 1931.

• “World Hearing Voices Day”, the 6th annual observance honoring all those who receive advice, encouragement, comforting words, and even laughter from others … who aren’t really there.
NET: http://www.intervoiceonline.org/news-events/latest-news

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [02] Movie actor Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”) dies in Los Angeles at age 57 after a long battle with cancer

2009 [02] The short-lived primetime “Jay Leno Show” premieres on NBC-TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2001 [10] In the wake of 9/11, Clear Channel Communications releases its infamous list of songs banned from its radio stations till further notice (among them: The Beatles’ “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds”, The Drifters’ “On Broadway”, Elton John’s “Rocket Man”, John Lennon’s “Imagine”, Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”, and the Zombies’ “She’s Not There”. Huh??)

2002 [09] No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani weds Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale in London UK

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984 [27] Dan Aykroyd & Bette Midler host the 1st “MTV Video Music Awards” at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall (The Cars win ‘Best Video’ for “You Might Think”)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [24] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ as Sunday “New York Times” features 1,612 pages and weighs in at a whopping 12 lbs/5.4 kg (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)

2003 [08] Brandi Carbee & Natalie Svenvold of Bellingham, Washington set a new world record of 75 hours for ‘teeter-tottering’ (aka see-sawing)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Greenpeace Day
[Thurs] International Day of Democracy
[Thurs] Season debuts of “The Vampire Diaries” (CW); “The Secret Circle” (CW)
[Fri] International Day For the Preservation Of the Ozone Layer
[Fri] POW/MIA Recognition Day
[Fri] Stepfamily Day
[Fri] “Star Wars: the Complete Saga” released on Blu-ray
[Fri] Austin City Limits Festival begins (Austin TX)
This Week Is … Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Coupon Month

BULL’S BITS

4 WORDS THAT MEAN TROUBLE:
Here are a few primers; ask listeners to contribute more …
• “Here comes the boss!”
• “Who’s your insurance agent?”
• “I never get lost.”
• “My parents are home!”
• “This doesn’t taste right.”
• “He’s never bitten anyone.”
• “The test was positive.”
• “Let me handle this.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
What bad behavior does your pet get away with because you’re too besotted to say no?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In 1880s England, THIS seemingly harmless term was considered a dirty word.
Answer: Pants.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.


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