Friday, September 5, 2014        Edition: #5299

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

★ Backstreet Boys and Neil Young are among acts who have pulled the plug on shows in Israel this Summer citing security concerns, but Lady Gaga apparently has no fears about her safety  amid the ongoing Middle East crisis between the Israelis and Palestinians and is pressing on with her scheduled gig next Saturday, September 13th at Hayarkon Park in Tel Aviv. In a video posted online she assures fans that her “artRave: The Artpop Ball” concert will be going ahead as planned.
★ Intimate pics of celebs including Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton that leaked online last Sunday will form part of a new art exhibition opening October 30th in St Petersburg, Florida. The Cory Allen Contemporary Art gallery (known as ‘Caca’) has announced the photos will be included in the “No Delete” show created by artist Xvala. The exhibition also features other intimate or vulnerable snaps of stars which Xvala has collected from Google over a 7-year period. The purpose of the show is purportedly to fuel debate about privacy in the digital era.
★ Fans of the Oscar-winning Disney film “Frozen” have been campaigning for a sequel since last year, but producers insist there are no plans to release a full-length follow-up. Instead, the original team will reunite for the film short “Frozen Fever”, which sees ‘Elsa’ and ‘Kristoff’ throwing a birthday party for ‘Anna’. It will also feature a new song from Robert Lopez & Kristen Anderson-Lopez, the songwriting duo behind the original film’s hit song “Let It Go”. “Frozen” has become the biggest-grossing animated movie in history and the all-time #5 movie overall with almost $1.3 billion in worldwide box office. The new short film is due in Spring 2015.

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Tonight a rerun of the 2013 debut of the now defunct late-night talk show. Includes an appearance by Snoop Dogg (“7 Days of Funk”).
• “Boardwalk Empire” (HBO) – Sunday Steve Buscemi returns as Atlantic City kingpin ‘Nucky Thompson’ in the show’s 5th and final season debut.
• Boston Calling (Boston MA) – Tonight-Sunday Childish Gambino, Lorde, Nas, The National, and Twenty One Pilots are among the artists playing the biannual festival’s 4th edition at City Hall Plaza.
• “CCMA Awards” (CBC/CMT) – Sunday Jann Arden & Rick Mercer co-host the annual honors from the Canadian Country Music Association live from Rexall Place in Edmonton AB. Brett Kissel leads nominations with a total of 8, followed by Dean Brody with 6, and Gord Bamford with 5. Performers include Autumn Hill, Dallas Smith, Dierks Bentley, George Canyon, Little Big Town, Paul Brandt, Terri Clark.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today a rerun of Ellen’s live post-Oscar show in March (right after the famous celebrity group selfie).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight The Kooks (“Listen”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Skaters (“Manhattan”). Rerun.
• LouFest (St Louis MO) Saturday-Sunday some 40 acts are scheduled for this annual rock fest in St Louis’ Forest Park, including Arctic Monkeys, Cake, Grouplove, Kelis, Matt & Kim, Portugal. The Man, and Outkast.
• Riot Fest (Toronto ON) – Saturday-Sunday performers include Billy Talent, City & Colour, The Cure, Death Cab for Cutie, Metric, The National, Rise Against. The traveling rock bash moves on to Chicago IL and Denver CO later this month.
• “Stand Up to Cancer” (Various) – Tonight the Hollywood community unites to support the 4th biennial fundraising telecast airing on 31 broadcast & cable networks. Appearances during the 1-hour telethon from LA’s Dolby Theatre by Gwyneth Paltrow, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Jon Hamm, Will Ferrell and more.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Fences f/Macklemore (“Arrows”).
• “Trailer Park Boys” (Netflix) – Today the Canadian mockumentary comedy series about the misadventures of a group of trailer park residents is posted worldwide on Netflix. Seasons 8 & 9 and 3 new specials are included. Tonight the cast appears on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) to promote it.
• “Utopia” (FOX) – Sunday the season debut of a new reality show in which 15 random people move to a remote location where they begin building their own civilization and rethinking the rules of society. It’s intended to be a year-long experiment.

• Ariane Grande – Her new album “My Everything” has debuted at #1 on the new Nielsen SoundScan sales chart, giving her a 2nd chart-topper in less than a year. Her last album, “Yours Truly”, released last September, also debuted at #1.
• Black Keys – Tonight in Columbus OH they kick off a Fall tour of North American arenas in support of their new album “Turn Blue”. The trek runs through December 21st in Kansas City MO. Cage the Elephant, Jake Bugg, and St Vincent will each open selected dates on the tour.
• Brad Paisley – His new album “Moonshine In the Trunk” has debuted at #1 on the new ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart and at #2 on the all-genre chart, where he’s had nine top 10 albums but nary a #1.
• Demi Lovato – Tomorrow she embarks on a world tour in Baltimore MD with Christina Perri as the opening act. The North American leg wraps in Brooklyn NY on October 27th, then she heads overseas.
• Garth Brooks – It’s announced he’ll make 1st appearance in Florida in 17 years when “The Garth Brooks World Tour with Trisha Yearwood” stops in Jacksonville for 3 shows October 10-12. The tour opened last night at the Allstate Arena in the Chicago suburb of Rosemont IL.
• Lorde – She’s back in North America for another round of tour dates beginning tonight in Philadelphia PA. The tour includes stops in Atlanta at the Music Midtown festival, Las Vegas for the iHeart Radio Music Festival, and wraps up October 12th at the Austin City Limits festival.
• Taylor Swift – Her move to pop music, “Shake It Off”, is paying off. It’s set a new airplay record for first-week adds on Top 40 and Hot AC stations; and has held down the #1 position on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ for 2 consecutive weeks.

• “The Identical” (  PG Drama ): Twin brothers are unknowingly separated at birth; one of them becomes an iconic rock star, while the other struggles to balance his love for music and pleasing his father. Loosely based on the life of Elvis Presley and his brother, who died in childbirth. Stars Blake Rayne, Ray Liotta, Ashley Judd, Seth Green.
• Opening in limited release: “Forrest Gump” (20th anniversary IMAX re-release); “Frontera” (Drama); “God Help the Girl” (Romantic Musical); “Kelly & Cal” (Dramedy); “The Remaining” (Horror Thriller); and “Wetlands” (Dramedy).

It’s usually associated with aging but a new UK survey has found that today’s stressed-out women are suffering hair-loss as young as in their 20s. A few highlights …
• 74% blame life- and work-stress for the condition of their hair.
• 34% of women polled say they have noticed thinning hair.
• 17% of women say they noted thinning beginning before age 30; 8% by age 25; 2.5% at just 20. (Average age for hair-loss among men is 38.)
• 51% discovered their hair-loss by examining a hairbrush (just 1-in-20 was told by their partner).
• 15% say they would rather be fat than bald.
(Among both men and women, the condition is more prevalent among high-earners.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

A groundbreaking new experiment has seen the 1st brain-to-brain communication over the Internet … between people 5,000 miles (8,000 km) apart. In the first-of-its-kind study, an international team of neuroscientists and robotics engineers were able to send the words ‘hola’ and ‘ciao’ from a location in India to a location in France by transmitting signals online directly from brain sensors. The study participants, aged 28-to-50, saw the messages as flashes of light in their peripheral vision. The scientists are calling the results a ‘remarkable step in human communication’ that could lead to bypassing language-based communication. (BS translation: The Vulcan mind meld may be possible.)

Simple in-flight etiquette rules that will stop other passengers from hating you …
1. Do not use ‘Knee Defenders’. As we’ve seen lately, blocking a reclining seat can lead to fisticuffs.
2. Be considerate in your reclining. Lack of consideration is the reason ‘Knee Defenders’ were invented.
3. Bring your seat upright during meal service. Otherwise the person behind will have their tray rammed into their chest.
4. Do not fight the ‘Armrest War’. There is only one armrest for two of you. Work out a compromise.
5. Don’t be in such a hurry. Planes are cramped places where you should spend as little time as possible, so quit trying to push your way to the front of the boarding line.
6. Obey carry-on luggage rules. There is only so much space on board. Learn to share.
7. Store bags considerately and don’t get whiny & upset when other passengers rearrange the overhead locker to maximise the available room.
8. Know your body. Gonna sleep for 12 hours? Choose a window seat. If you’re likely to experience a call of nature every half-hour, you definitely need an aisle seat.
9. Do not hog the lavatory. If 200-and-something people are sharing 8 restrooms, how much time should each passenger take? The answer … as little as possible.
10. The blind cannot stay down forever. When it’s sleeping time, fine. When others want to see the scenery (ie: takeoff and landing), the window blind goes up.
– Adapted from @MailOnline

Hewlett Packard printer ink is 20 times more expensive than 2003 Dom Perignon champagne.
– “1,339 QI Facts to Make Your Jaw Drop”


1951 [63] Michael Keaton (Douglas), Coraopolis PA, movie actor (“Cars”, “Beetle Juice”)

1968 [46] Brad Wilk, Portland OR, rock drummer (Rage Against the Machine-“Renegades of Funk”, Audioslave-“Be Yourself”)

1973 [41] Rose McGowan, Florence, Italy, movie actress (“Machete”, “The Black Dahlia”)/TV actress (“Charmed” 2001-06)

1989 [25] Katerina Graham, Geneva, Switzerland, TV actress (‘Bonnie Bennett’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

Rock singer-musician Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) is 71; Comedian/actor Jeff Foxworthy (“You Might Be a Redneck If …”) is 56; Alt-rock vocalist-guitarist William DuVall (Alice in Chains) is 47; R&B singer Macy Gray (“I Try”) is 47; Rock singer Dolores O’Riordan (The Cranberries) is 43; TV/movie actor Idris Elba (“Luther”) is 42; British socialite Pippa Middleton is 31; TV actress Lauren Lapkus (“Orange Is the New Black”) is 29; Pop singer Max George (The Wanted) is 26.

Voice actress Julie Kavner (“The Simpsons”) is 63; Rock singer Chrissie Hynde (The Pretenders) is 63; Rock musician Benmont Tench (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) is 61; Movie actress Evan Rachel Wood (“The Wrestler”) is 27.

• “Be Late For Something Day”, sponsored by the Procrastinators’ Club, a day to delay anything you can.
• “Bring Your Manners to Work Day”, an annual reminder that good etiquette eases relationships in the workplace. What does a co-worker do that drives you round the bend? Chew gum, yawn constantly, or just … show up for work?
• “Cheese Pizza Day”, celebrating the favorite order of cheapskates everywhere.
• “Lazy Moms Day”, a day for hard-working moms to do whatever they want.
• “One Arm Dove Hunt”, the 43rd annual 2-day event in Olney, Texas that’s open to anyone who has the use of only one arm or hand. Additional events include the ‘Glove Swap’, ‘One Arm Jokes’, and ‘One Arm Golf’. You’ve got to hand it to them … they have a great sense of humor.

• “Fight Procrastination Day – Do It! Day”, a backlash to yesterday’s “Be Late For Something Day”.

• “Fathers Day” in Australia and New Zealand, celebrated on the 1st Sunday in September.
• “Grandparents’ Day”, originated in 1978 to honor the folks who get to spoil our kids rotten without paying any consequences. Observed annually the 1st Sunday after Labor Day.
• “Salami Day”, started in 2006 by the Salami Appreciation Society to honor the cured Italian sausage that is fermented and air-dried. (Erp!)
• “World ADHD Day”, begun in 2012 to increase awareness that Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder can affect people of every age, gender, IQ, and socioeconomic background. (There are those, however, who claim it’s not a disorder at all … merely undisciplined behavior.)

1964 [50] The Animals’ rendition of “The House Of the Rising Sun” reaches #1 on pop charts (Bob Dylan, who first recorded the traditional folk song in 1962 is said to ‘jump out of his car seat’ with enthusiasm when he first hears it on the radio)

2006 [08] Katie Couric debuts on the “CBS Evening News”, becoming the 1st female solo anchor of a major evening network TV newscast (Couric earns $15 million per year through 2011, a salary that makes her the highest paid journalist in the world)

1989 [25] World’s ‘Longest Zipper’ at 9,353 ft and with 2,565,900 teeth is produced by the Yoshida Company of Sneek, Netherlands (later leads to the world’s longest ‘Ooouuuuch!’)

[Mon] Full ‘Harvest’ Moon
[Mon] International Literacy Day
[Mon] Pardon Day
[Mon] Boss/Employee Exchange Day
[Tues] “Fashion Rocks” (CBS)
[Tues] Apple unveils iPhone 6
This Week Is … Self-University Week
This Month Is … Cholesterol Education & Awareness Month


(Inspired by the recent news that ‘Hello Kitty’ is not a cat but a little girl.)
• ‘Winnie the Pooh’ is a diabetic, easily-angered man in his 50s who stocks shelves at a Walmart during the night.
• ‘Tom & Jerry’, long considered a cat and mouse, are actually an iguana and a hippopotamus who are working though a divorce.
• ‘Garfield’ is a reincarnated Chihuahua with an eating disorder; ‘Odie’ is a blueberry muffin.
• “Archie Comics” characters ‘Betty’ and ‘Veronica’ are two halves of the same person, but only on weekends.
• ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ is a manifestation of all your shattered childhood dreams.
• ‘Pikachu’ is an eloquent orator who chooses not to speak in full, clear sentences as a protest against human rights injustices.
• ‘Bugs Bunny’ is actually David Letterman without the hairpiece hiding his ears.
• ‘Scooby-Doo’ is a 26-year-old mother of 3 currently enrolled in a community college Massage Therapy program; ‘Shaggy’ is her AA coach.
• ‘Mickey Mouse’ is a spider monkey on meth.
– Thanks to Dorothy Bendel

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Question: The day a woman turns 30, she starts to have less of THESE.
Answer: Friends

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

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