Friday, July 28, 2006        Edition: #3337
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the 10 “American Idol” finalists get a tour of the White House and a chance to meet President Bush before their “American Idols Live” show at Washington DC’s Verizon Center (think Dubya will share a few ‘woos’ with Taylor Hicks?) . . . TONIGHT a new production of “The Fantasticks”, the world’s longest-running stage musical, begins previews in NYC (the original played 17,162 performances from 1960-2002) . . . SATURDAY 39-year-old Pamela Anderson is set to wed her 35-year-old on/off beau Kid Rock on a yacht near St Tropez, France (her Website diary mistakenly exclaims: “I’m Getting Remarried!!!”, as if she was hitched to Kid before) . . . MONDAY Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ annual bash begins on the French Riviera with an intimate dinner for 50 friends, followed by his spectacular ‘White Party’ TUESDAY evening . . . Director Penelope Spheeris (“Wayne’s World”) has revealed that actress Zooey Deschanel (“Failure to Launch”), and not Pink as rumored, will be signed to star in her Janis Joplin bio-pic, “Gospel According to Janis” (but why not let Pink sing the soundtrack?) . . . Here’s a first – canceled TV sitcom “Arrested Development” has sold its syndication rights to MSN in a 3-year deal (another sign of the apocalypse – reruns on the Internet) . . . Newfoundland-born actress Natasha Henstridge (“Species”) has been spotted with pages of producer/director/writer Joss Whedon’s “Wonder Woman” movie script in her gym bag (hmm, could she be the one?) . . . Actor Heath Ledger has reportedly been offered the part of ‘The Joker’ in the sequel to “Batman Begins”, due out in 2008 (Robin Williams & Paul Bettany expressed interest, but producers want someone about the same age as ‘Batman’ actor Christian Bale) . . . And WEDNESDAY, the same day David ‘The Hoff’ Hasselhoff’s divorce from 16-year wife Pamela Bach was finalized, he was reportedly barred from boarding a flight from London to Los Angeles because he was deemed ‘unfit to travel’ (hey ‘The’, tell us again how you don’t drink anymore).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Feist – THIS WEEKEND she plays the annual “Hillside Festival” in Guelph ON, along with Sarah Harmer, Constantines, The Stills and Kathleen Edwards.
• Hall & Oates – Their piggy banks must be empty … they’re bringing out a Christmas album.
• Kanye West – TOMORROW he’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global), hosted by comic actor Steve Carell.
• Mary J Blige – TODAY she guest-stars on daytime drama “One Life to Live” (ABC), playing herself and performing 2 of her hits.
• Paul McCartney – TODAY his former school pal Ian James is putting the cheap Rex acoustic guitar on which he gave Paul his first lessons up for auction in London, complete with a signed letter of verification from McCartney. It’s expected to fetch upwards of $200,000.
• Pharrell – TONIGHT he performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Reba McEntire – SUNDAY is her last performance at the Las Vegas Hilton as the engagement had to be cut short when her WB sitcom was picked up by the new CW network. Shooting begins NEXT WEEK in LA.
• Seether – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Van Halen – The next project for legendary guitarist Eddie Van Halen? Supplying 2 original songs for the soundtrack of the adult film, “Sacred Sin”. Better tune up your G-string, Ed.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Ant Bully” ( PG Animated Family Adventure ): After a young boy takes out his frustrations by tormenting the local insect population, the bugs use a magic potion to shrink the lad down to their size and sentence him to live like an ant. Predictably, he learns lessons about life, friendship and courage. Voices provided by Nicolas Cage, Paul Giamatti, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep & others. Hasn’t this territory already been covered in “A Bug’s Life” and “Antz”? Voice clips of various characters here …
NET: http://www2.warnerbros.com/antbully/
• “John Tucker Must Die” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Jesse Metcalfe (ex-“Desperate Housewives”) stars as a hottie that’s dating 3 girls (singer Ashanti, “One Tree Hill’s” Sophia Bush, former “Gilmore Girls” regular Arielle Kebbel) at the same time unbeknownst to them. But when they find out, they enlist the new girl in town (Brittany Snow) to get revenge by seducing him and dumping him. Shot in Vancouver & Port Moody BC. Trailer & clips here …
NET: http://www.myspace.com/JohnTucker
• “Miami Vice” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ):  Colin Farrell & Jamie Foxx star as undercover detectives in this bigscreen take on the vintage TV action/drama (1984-1989). Posing as outlaw smugglers and boat racers, ‘Crockett’ & ‘Tubbs’ try to infiltrate a group of Florida drug traffickers. Gong Li co-stars as a hot tamale Cuban-Chinese banker. Shot in Miami and several Latin American countries including Cuba. Word is the film is stripped down from all the ‘80s glitz, so don’t expect any pastel colors or loafers worn without socks. Music & featurettes here …
NET: http://www.miamivice.com/

ALL WORK, NO PLAY:
Highlights of a new KidsHealth poll of children aged 9-to13 …
• 76% wish they had more free time.
• 41% feel stressed-out ‘always’ or ‘most of the time’.
Can you catch stress from your parents?
– Cox News Service

CUBE COUTURE:
Several companies are looking into marketing ‘designer ice’, just the accessory for your $2 bottle of water. The pre-packaged product involves sealed ice cube trays filled with unfrozen ‘spring water’ or ‘filtered water’. You just stick ‘em in the freezer to get ‘pure’ cubes, with no acquired smell or taste from surrounding food. Reaction is mixed so far on what breaks down to about a dime per cube. (They should market it as ‘Eau de Gullible’.)
– UPI

MOST INTERESTING JOBS:
According to a new British poll by the Training & Development Agency, these are the jobs that are ranked least boring …
1. Teaching
2. Healthcare
3. Hospitality & Travel
And the most boring job? Administrative Assistant.
– “GQ”

HOW TO LOSE YOUR SHIRT:
According to a new Merrill Lynch & Co study, the least risky common investments are small-cap stocks, corporate bonds, and long-term treasury bonds. And the investments that are ranked as most risky? Art, gold and commodities. (We say buy land! They aren’t making any more.)
– “Bloomberg News”

STYLE STATEMENT:
The so-called ‘man-bag’ or ‘murse’ – a cross between a backpack and a briefcase that looks a lot like a woman’s purse – is quickly becoming more common. While they’ve been popular in Europe for some time, they’re just beginning to catch on in the North American market. Proponents say the 21st-century guy needs a way to carry all his paperwork and electronic gadgetry. And most guys don’t want to be like their dads and carry a briefcase. (So they want to be like their moms?)
– ABC News

DID YOU KNOW?
• Beirut, Lebanon is now teeming with terrified abandoned pets.
• THIS YEAR’s “World Cup” audience was the equivalent of 64 “Super Bowls”.

THE BULL SHEET 7.28.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [61] Jim Davis, Marian IN, really rich cartoonist (“Garfield”)

1945 [61] Rick Wright, London UK, classic rock musician (Pink Floyd-“Another Brick in the Wall”)/Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame (1996)

SATURDAY –
Rock singer/bassist Geddy Lee (Rush) is 53; Documentary maker Ken Burns is 53; Mrs Bruce Springsteen/singer Patti Scialfa (E Street Band) is 53; Country singer Martina McBride (“This One’s For the Girls”) is 40; R&B/pop singer Wanya Morris (Boyz II Men) is 33; Movie actor Stephen Dorff (“World Trade Center”) is 33; TV/movie actress Allison Mack (“Smallville”/”The Ant Bully”) is 24.

SUNDAY –
Vegas entertainer Paul Anka (“My Way”) is 65; California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (“The Terminator”) is 59; Movie actor Laurence Fishburne (“The Matrix”) is 45; Former TV actress Lisa Kudrow (“Friends”) is 43; Country singer Dwayne O’Brien (Little Texas) is 42; Movie/TV actress Vivica A Fox (“Kill Bill: Vol 1”/”1-800-Missing”) is 42; Comedian Tom Green (“Tom Green Live” webcast) is 35; Rock musician Brad Hargraves (Third Eye Blind) is 34; Movie actress Hilary Swank (“Million Dollar Baby”) is 32; TV actress Jaime Pressly (“My Name Is Earl”) is 29.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Accountants Day”, honoring all those people who seem to know the cost of everything but the value of nothing.
• “Drive-Thru Day”, saluting businesses that serve you while you’re in your vehicle. Of course there are drive-thru restaurants, banks, car washes & coffee shops, but what’s the weirdest ‘drive-thru’ service you’ve come across? Hair salon? Dentist?
• “Gilroy Garlic Festival”, the 28th annual through Sunday in Gilroy CA, highlighted by the ‘Garlic Queen Pageant’. What … they check for breath?
NET: http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com
• “Great Texas Mosquito Festival” through Saturday in Clute TX, home of the world’s largest mosquito, ‘Willie Man Chew’. Participants will put on their bug repellent and celebrate with the ‘Mr & Mrs Mosquito Legs Contest’ and a ‘Mosquito-Calling Contest’.
NET: http://www.mosquitofestival.com
• “Milk Chocolate Day”, an excuse for chocoholics everywhere to cow down!

SATURDAY –
• “Lasagna Day”, celebrating the famous Italian heart attack-on-a-plate that’s become a worldwide fave. Almost all recipes for the ‘perfect lasagna’ feature ricotta as the cheese of choice. However, everybody seems to have their own secret ingredient. What’s yours?
• “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual community event that started more than a hundred years ago when a farmer noticed it always seemed to rain on July 29th. They now claim it has rained on this date every year since 1796. It’s a good excuse for an annual party & the ‘Miss Rain Day’ beauty pageant.
NET: http://www.greenemessenger.com/rain/history.html
• “World Outgames Montréal 2006”, the 1st-ever opening ceremony for these 8-day gay games at Olympic Stadium. 16,000 participants are expected from more than 120 countries.
NET: http://www.montreal2006.org/home.html

SUNDAY –
• “Baseball Hall of Fame Induction”, the 2006 ceremony in Cooperstown NY honors pitcher Bruce Sutter and 17 players & execs from the so-called Negro leagues and pre-Negro leagues.
NET: http://www.baseballhalloffame.org/
• “Cheesecake Day”, a day to indulge yourself in one of the most decadent of all desserts.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1973 [33] In the 5th-largest concert event of all-time, some 600,000 pack “Summer Jam” rock festival at Watkins Glen NY featuring the Grateful Dead, the Allman Bros, and The Band
OTHER TOP EVENTS BY ATTENDANCE …
4. US Festival in Devore, California (1983) … 670,000 people
3. Garth Brooks in Central Park, NYC (1997) … 750,000
2. New York Philharmonic in Central Park, NYC (1986) … 800,000
1. Rod Stewart at Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1994) … 3.5 million
(Note: The 2003 SARS Benefit in Toronto ranks 8th with 450,000 people.)

1989 [17] Singer Anne Murray opens the “Anne Murray Centre” in her hometown of Springhill NS, packed with awards, photos & other career memorabilia
NET: http://www.annemurray.com/amc/index.htm
 
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1786 [220] John Molson announces he’ll begin a brewery in Montréal (what would he think of his heirs selling out to Coors?)

1900 [106] 1st ‘Hamburger’, according to some sources, is invented by Louis Lassing of New Haven CT (although the name comes from a sandwich popular in Hamburg, Germany)

1933 [73] 1st ‘Singing Telegram’ is delivered to singer Rudy Vallee on his 32nd birthday in NYC (now you can send balloon-a-grams, candygrams, cookie-grams, stripper-grams …)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1962 [44] Paul Henderson of Omaha NE survives a record 303 consecutive roller coaster rides

1979 [27] A cushioned egg dropped from the top of Toronto’s 1800-ft CN Tower lands unbroken

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Aug 1] 23rd National Night Out / Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Girlfriends Day
[Aug 2] Ice Cream Sandwich Day / Royal St John’s Regatta (Quidi Vidi Lake NL)
[Aug 3] Watermelon Day
[Aug 4] “Barnyard”, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”, “The Descent”, and “The Night Listener” open in movie theaters
[Aug 4-6] Lollapalooza (Chicago IL)
[Aug 4-9] 2006 US Scrabble Open Championship (Phoenix AZ)
[Aug 5] 2006 Pro Football Hall of Fame Enshrinement (Canton OH) / Mustard Day / National Date Night
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Wiggle Your Toes Day / Pamper Yourself Day / 10th Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run (Vancouver) / National Kids Day / Sisters Day
[Aug 7] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / Holiday in 7 provinces & NWT (BC Day, Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc)
[Aug 7-16] Sturgis Bike Week (Sturgis SD)
[Aug 8] Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night / “American Idol 6″ auditions begin (LA CA)
[Aug 8-16] Elvis Week (Memphis TN)
[Aug 9] Book Lovers Day / International Art Appreciation Day / Hand Holding Day / Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / “World Trade Center” opens in movie theaters
[Aug 10] S’mores Day / Spoil Your Dog Day / National Underwear Day
[Aug 10-13] Edmonton Folk Fest
[Aug 11] Daughters Day / Dog Days of Summer end / “Accepted”, “Pulse”, “Step Up”, and “Zoom” open in movie theaters
[Aug 12] Middle Child’s Day / International Youth Day / Truck Drivers Day / Garage Sale Day /  24th Golden Boot Awards (LA CA)
[Aug 13] International Left-Handers Day
[Aug 13-18] AIDS 2006 World Conference (Toronto)
[Aug 14] Senior Citizens Day / Financial Awareness Day / International Nagging Day / Stay Home With Your Kids Day
[Aug 15] Relaxation Day / Failures Day
[Aug 17] Thriftshop Day
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day / “Material Girls” and “Snakes on a Plane” open in movie theaters
[Aug 18-Sept 4] Canadian National Exhibition (Toronto)
[Aug 19] Aviation Day
[Aug 20] 2006 Teen Choice Awards / Potato Day / Radio Day
[Aug 21] “Prison Break” season debut (FOX) / Spumoni Day / Homeless Animals Day / Discovery Day [Yukon]
[Aug 22] Tooth Fairy Day
[Aug 24-Sept 4] Montréal World Film Festival 2006
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day / “Beerfest”, “How to Eat Fried Worms”, “Invincible”, and OutKast film “Idlewild” open in move theaters
[Aug 26] Make Your Own Luck Day / Women’s Equality Day / Single Parent Family Day
[Aug 27] 58th Primetime Emmy Awards / Petroleum Day
[Aug 29] More Herbs, Less Salt Day / Beach Boys’ 40th anniversary “Pet Sounds” album released / 2-disc “Lord of the Rings” trilogy DVD set released / “Celebrity Duets” debuts (FOX)
[Aug 30] Toasted Marshmallow Day / CMA Awards nominations announced
[Aug 30-Sept 9] 63rd Venice Film Festival (Venice, Italy)
[Aug 31] 23rd MTV Video Music Awards (NYC) / Trail Mix Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Sept 2] “Saturday Night NCAA Football” debuts (ABC)
[Sept 4] Labor Day
[Sept 5] “The CBS Evening News With Katie Couric” debuts / Freddie Mercury 60th Birth Anniversary Bash (London UK)

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘GOOD OR BAD’?
You run down the list while a guest/caller/co-worker rates each as simply ‘good or bad’ …
• Not wearing socks.
• Veganism.
• The age of 16.
• Halls of fame.
• Single earring in the left ear.
• Steak & eggs for breakfast.
• ‘Precision’ bombing.
• Being famous for re-hab.
• Colognes for men.
• Paul McCartney’s (or Kenny Rogers’) cosmetic work.
• Having six-pack abs.
• People who give themselves nicknames that begin with ‘The’.

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Beyoncé Knowles – “Deja Vu”
4. Ne-Yo – “Sexy Love”
3. Cassie – “Me & U”
2. Gnarls Barkley – “Crazy”
1. Rihanna – “Unfaithful”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS plastic surgery trend dramatically increased by 34% LAST YEAR.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Getting ‘something done’ with a friend.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Facts are stubborn things.