October 31, 2000                                                Edition:  #1922

ALL-TIME SCARIEST SENTENCES:
• Come here and pull my finger.
• Looks like we’re going to be cellmates, pretty boy.
• The IRS is on line one.
• Hi, I’m Richard Simmons. Looks like we’ll be stuck in this elevator for a while.
• You’ve been traded to San Diego Chargers.
• This nude beach is fun. Say, isn’t that Janet Reno?

ALL-TIME SCARIEST MOVIES:
(Guaranteed to cause an argument.)
• “The Silence of the Lambs” (1991)
• “Psycho” (1960)
• “The Exorcist” (1973)
• “Alien” (1979)
• “The Shining” (1980)

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Mick Jagger will play the boss of an escort agency in the soon-to-shoot movie “The Man From The Elysian Fields”, co-starring Andy Garcia and former “ER” star Juliana Margulies (imagine the size of those lips on the bigscreen!) . . . Actress Nancy Cartwright has just published her autobiography called “My Life As A 10-Year-Old Boy” — huh? (she’s the voice of ‘Bart Simpson’, don’t you know) . . . “Almost Famous” star Kate Hudson confirms that she’s a nudist — and so’s mom Goldie Hawn and mom’s longtime live-in Kurt Russell (no wonder Hollywood studs are saying, “Let’s go hang out at Kate’s house”) . . . And, in case you’re counting, Elton John has just adopted his 21st stray dog.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Jodie Foster stars in “Anna and the King”, the story of the romance between the King of Siam and a widowed British schoolteacher . . . Dennis Quaid in the sci-fi thriller “Frequency”, about a son that reaches back in time to contact his father . . . A man falls in love with the woman who receives his dead wife’s heart in the romantic comedy “Return to Me”, starring David Duchovny and Minnie Driver . . . And the 1966 original “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is out on DVD (the update starring Jim Carrey opens in theaters November 17).

IT’S A WEIRD WORLD:
• TODAY Q106 FM in Davenport, Iowa will drop an 815-lb pumpkin 33 ft from a crane onto an 8’x8’x5′ pad of Bubble Wrap. (Hey you idiots – this is radio! You could make it a 10-ton pumpkin, 30,000 ft in the air and still use the same SFX.)
• 23-year-old Thomas Hendry of Wellington, New Zealand recently stapled his penis to a wooden crucifix which he then set on fire. The stunt was videotaped in a pub and shown on national TV. Why? He was asked to come up with a dare that no one could top. (Source: “Globe & Mail”)
• A 15-year-old Oklahoma high school student has been suspended for allegedly casting a magic spell that caused a teacher to become sick. (At this Friday’s football game, she’ll be stoned to death at half-time.)
• According to America Online’s president, Internet capacity is now at only 2%. Well, let’s see – Google now lists 1.247 billion Web pages in it’s search engine. So when the other 98% kick in, we’re looking at over 62 BILLION PAGES – 10 for each person on Earth. (Makes you wonder — are there enough naked pictures of women to fill this?)

THE BULL SHEET 10.31.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1931    [69] Dan Rather, Wharton TX, TV anchor (‘CBS Evening News” since 1981, “60 Minutes II”) who’s soon to retire?
1950    [50] Jane Pauley, Indianapolis IN, TV anchor (“Dateline: NBC” since 1992)/Mrs Gary Trudeau (“Doonesbury”)
1961    [39] Larry Mullen Jr, Dublin IRE, rock drummer (U2-“Beautiful Day”) NOTE: TODAY’s the release date for U2’s new album “All That You Can’t Leave Behind”
1963    [37] Rob Schneider, San Francisco CA, film actor (“Big Daddy”; “Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo”)
1980    [20] Eddie Kaye Thomas, NYC, movie actor (“American Pie”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Halloween” in Canada, Britain and the USA. October 31st was New Year’s Eve in the Celtic culture. The fact it was a pagan ritual does not make it a ‘satanic’ ritual as fundamentalists would have you believe. Later, November 1st became the Christian feast “All Saints Day” (aka “All Hallows”) and the previous night, “All Hallows Eve”, evolved into “Halloween.”

“International UNICEF Day” has been observed on October 31st since 1967, the reason many trick or treaters collect donations in UNICEF coin boxes.

TODAY is “National Magic Day,” traditionally a day for magicians to meet, celebrated on the anniversary of Harry Houdini’s death October 31st, 1926 (74 years ago TODAY).

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1992    [08] Pope John Paul II pardons Galileo for saying Earth was not the center of the universe 400 years earlier

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
0834    [1166] 1st “All Hallows Eve” established by Pope Gregory IV to honor saints

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987     [13] Longest singles tennis match goes 80 hours 21 minutes (Coventry ENG)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] National Men Make Dinner Day (what kinduva sexist statement is this?)
[Thurs] Plan Your Epitaph Day
World Communication Week
National Pasta Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Which country produces the most movies?
A: India, NOT the US, is the world’s #1 movie producer, averaging more than 800 films a year compared to just over 500 in the USA.
(Source: UselessKnowledge.com)

Q: What’s the 2nd-biggest retail holiday after Christmas?
A: Halloween, when North Americans spend about $2.5 billion on candies, costumes and decorations.
(Source: National Retail Association)

BS TAG LINE: Crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.