Thursday, April 23, 2020  Edition: #6682

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ A “Hunger Games” prequel movie is in the works. Lionsgate has confirmed the upcoming novel “The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes”, set to be released May 19, will be made into a film. The book will revisit the world of Panem 64 years before the events of The Hunger Games, starting on the morning of the reaping of the Tenth Hunger Games. The release will follow the very popular “Hunger Games”, “Catching Fire” and “Mockingjay” Parts 1 and 2, which together made almost $3 billion at the box office.
-MSN
★ The cast of “Friends” is joining the ‘All In Challenge’. Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer are offering six tickets to the taping of their forthcoming HBO Max reunion special as well as a cup of coffee at “Central Perk” as part of the Warner Bros. Studio Tour. The reunion tickets and studio tour auction are part of the All In Challenge that is uniting celebrities, athletes and sports leagues to raise funds for those in need.
-MSN
★ On Tuesday, Michael Moore dropped a new film about climate change called “Planet of the Humans” that he executive produced in time for the 50th anniversary of Earth Day. “Planet of the Humans” takes a harsh look at how the environmental movement has lost the battle through well-meaning but disastrous choices, including the belief that solar panels and windmills would save us, and by giving in to the corporate interests of Wall Street.
-TheWrap
★ Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina is ready to tell all and share advice to fans with a new podcast called “Listen To Me, OG Mama D.” She plans to cover a variety of topics including pop culture, managing children in Hollywood, domestic violence, mental health issues and setting the record straight on her years of dealing with tabloid celebrity gossip. Dina Lohan says she is ready to spill all the details on what is was like being the OG (original) “momager”.
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Arnold Schwarzenegger
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin, Ina Garten
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Will Forte (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Hugh Jackman
• “Conan” (TBS): Kaley Cuoco
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Wendi McLendon-Covey, Leah McSweeney
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jay Hernandez, Pat Harvey
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chris Hemsworth
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): LL Cool J, Christian Siriano, Jim Carrey, Alyson Hannigan joins Eugene Levy to make egg salad.
• “2020 NFL Draft” (ABC): Interviews and highlights with the players selected in the first round by NFL teams.
• “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” (NBC): Season 7 finale
• “Will & Grace” (NBC): Series finale, followed by “A Will & Graceful Goodbye”
• “We’re Here” (HBO): Series premiere. Bob the Drag Queen, Eureka O’Hara and Shangela Laquifa Wadley arrive in Gettysburg, Pa., to put on a one-night-only drag show featuring locals in need of a little support and empowerment.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake — helped a kids’ dance group in Africa go viral after they shared a clip of them dancing along to his new hit ‘Toosie Slide’. The group, made up largely of orphan children, posted their impressive video on Friday, and when Drake shared it on his Instagram Story the following day, it soon started doing the rounds on social media.
• Jennifer Lopez – she and fiancé Alex Rodriguez are reportedly in talks to buy the New York Mets baseball club. The team, currently owned by an American real estate tycoon, has been on the market since December. An 80% stake in the team is said to be worth about $2.6 billion.
• Kanye West — has teamed up with Chick-Fil-A to provide 300,000 meals to vulnerable people during the pandemic. His association with Chick Fil-A is well documented, having referenced the fast food chain on 2019’s ‘Closed on Sunday’.
• Queen + Adam Lambert — performed a coronavirus-inspired version of their classic song ‘We Are the Champions’ – changing one word to reflect the global emergency. Group members synced up from their respective homes to deliver the song on social media with the title chorus line changed to “you are the champions”.
• Ratt – have postponed the first seven shows of “The Big Rock Summer Tour” with Cinderella’s Tom Keifer, Skid Row and Slaughter due to the coronavirus pandemic. Affected dates are between June 3-14. Dates in August and September are still scheduled to go ahead as planned.
• Jane’s Addiction — Guitarist Dave Navarro is teaming up with the Punk Rock & Paintbrushes collective to issue his “More Government Care?” limited edition signed art prints, with proceeds aiding the Sidewalk Project initiative to help the houseless community. Each of the 100 prints are individually numbered and signed by Navarro.
• Tim Hicks– will appear on tonight’s edition of “Canada Together: In Concert”, along with The James Barker Band and Morgan Wallen with MacKenzie Porter. The 5-night series of at-home concerts on ET Canada support Covid-19 relief efforts by Food Banks Canada and Unison Benevolent Fund. Appearing Friday: Jess Moskaluke, Jordan Davis with Gord Bamford, and Jade Eagleson.
• The Dixie Chicks — have postponed the release of their new album “Gaslighter”. Their first studio project in 14 years, originally due out on May 1, has been postponed “indefinitely”.

TIGHT PANTS – THE NEW NORMAL:
Call it the Quarantine 15 if you like, but it’s going to be reality for many of us. Locked down, confined to our homes – and eating everything in sight. It means that many of us are going to come out of this thing with more than a few extra pounds to deal with. Weight-loss and fitness expert Jennifer Powter says that not only do we have more time on our hands these days to grab a snack and cope with boredom that way, but there’s increased temptation to eat and drink to cope with the uncertainty that we’re all experiencing. She says it’s important that we create healthy isolation habits in order to minimize weight-gain. Here is what she suggests:
• Figure out what exercise you can do. The easiest activity is to get outside and walk. Or join an online fitness class.
• Create non-negotiables in your household like not eating in front of the TV, and putting limits on screen time.
• Plan out healthy meals the day before.
• Weigh yourself once per week to keep yourself honest.
(I’m a little worried because I’ve already had to let out my stretchy-pants…)
(Yeah, between the lack of hair-coloring, the beards and the weight gain, when this is over, no one is going to recognize anybody!)
-Canoe

NOT COOL, CAT:
If your cat has the wonderful habit of being a bit destructive when you’re away, it could actually be a sign that she misses you, according to a new study. A survey of 130 cat owners found that 13% had what is defined as separation-related problems. Of those, “destructive behavior” was the most frequently reported concern (67%), followed by excessive vocalization (63%), urination in inappropriate places (60%), depression-apathy (53%), aggressiveness (37%) and agitation-anxiety (37%). Defecation in inappropriate places was reported in 23%. The authors of the study noted that other factors contributed to separation-related problems too, including the number of hours a cat is left alone, access to toys, and whether or not there are other animals in the home.
(So when I disappear, my cat loses it and starts wrecking stuff? Sounds like my ex!)
(That explains why my left shoe was wet this morning…)
(That’s the exact opposite of my teenager, who wrecks things if I won’t go away!)
-CNN

CLOSE FAMILY:
If you’re anything like me, your family is driving you nuts sometimes while you’re all stuck at home together during the coronavirus lockdown. And, come to think of it, if you’re anything like me, YOU’RE driving the rest of your family nuts too. But in spite of that, according to a survey, four in five parents feel that their families have “grown closer together” while living so together so closely during the pandemic. Half of families are getting together to play board games and make puzzles, and 30% say they’ve formed book clubs and read together. Just over a quarter of families are working on gardening projects together. And what about couples? At the start of the lockdown more than half of couples had a grim outlook as to what the quarantine would do to their relationship. But it turns out the opposite happened for most: 60% report that they are happier with their partner after four weeks in quarantine.
(It would be 100% IF HE WOULD JUST CHANGE HIS CLOTHES!)
(I figure that if she hasn’t killed me by the end of the day, I’ve done my job!)
(I guess the family that stays together . . . stays together!)
-StudyFinds

ALTERNATIVES TO THE HANDSHAKE:
…that we might be seeing a lot more of in the future!
⇒ Namaste:  the traditional Hindu greeting, means, “The Divine within me bows to the same Divine within you” To do it, bow slightly, palms pressed together toward your chest, with your fingertips pointing up. (Sounds a little more poetic than a clammy handshake, no?)
⇒ Raise brows and smile:  A way of saying “hello” with your brows instead of your hands. It’s is a touchless alternative used in Samoa. (And by dudes on the street who are too cool to speak…)
⇒ Wai bow:  In Thailand, young people “wai” older people to show respect. Press your palms together near your chest, lower your head and raise your hands until your thumb touches your nose and your index finger touches your head. Bring your hands to your head while you bow.
⇒ Two claps:  Some Zimbabweans follow handshakes with two claps each. The first means “How are you?”, and the second means “I’m fine.” These days, they are said to be skipping the handshake part.
⇒ Hand over heart:  Popular in predominantly Muslim nations, it’s a respectful way to greet someone you’ve just met who isn’t accustomed to your touch. (And doesn’t look as silly as elbow bumps…)
⇒ Sign language wave:  Bring one hand to the top of your forehead as though you’re about to salute, then flick your wrist away from your head like a small wave. (That’s what my wife does when she doesn’t want to speak to me anymore!)
⇒ Shake sign:  It was a symbol of gratitude before surfer dudes adopted it. Make a fist, then extend your thumb and pinky finger. You can shake your hand back and forth, knuckles facing out, for emphasis.
(What, no peace sign? No devil horns?)
-CNN

DID YOU KNOW?
Some companies are actually benefiting from the lockdowns and quarantines that have otherwise crippled major industries and cost the economy millions of jobs. Like Netflix, for instance. Its stock hit an all-time high last week — and gave it a bigger valuation than the juggernaut that is The Walt Disney Company. Yes, despite the fact that Disney owns movie studios, television channels, theme parks, and cruise ships, and Netflix owns basically a website and a bunch of original programming, it is now worth more than Disney. It was reported that Netflix has a current market capitalization of $187.3 billion, just over Disney’s $186.6 billion.
-Variety

BS CHRONOMETER 04.23.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [81] Lee Majors, Wyandotte MI, TV actor (‘Col. Steve Austin’ in “The Six Million Dollar Man” 1974-78, “The Fall Guy” 1981-86)

1954 [66] Michael Moore, Flint MI, documentary filmmaker (“Fahrenheit 9/11”, “Bowling For Columbine”, “Fahrenheit 11/9”)

1960 [60] Valerie Bertinelli, Wilmington DE, TV actress (“Hot in Cleveland” 2010-2015, “One Day at a Time” 1975-1984/ married to Eddie Van Halen 1981-2007

1977 [43] John Cena, West Newbury MA, pro wrestler (25 WWE championships)/movie actor (“Blockers”, “Trainwreck”) COMING UP…“Project X-Traction”

1977 [43] John Oliver, Birmingham UK, TV personality (“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” since 2014, “The Daily Show” 2006-13)/TV actor (“Community” 2009-11, 2014)

1977 [43] Kal Penn (Modi), Montclair NJ, movie actor (“Harold & Kumar” films)/former TV actor (“House MD”)/former White House aide (Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison)

1985 [35] Taio Cruz, London UK, pop/hip hop singer-songwriter (‘Dynamite’, ‘Break Your Heart’)

1990 [30] Dev Patel, London England, movie actor (“Slumdog Millionaire”, “Chappie”) COMING UP…”Green Light”

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cherry Cheesecake Day”, because you’ve been adhering to that strict diet for far too long.

• “Lost Dog Awareness Day”, focusing on the huge number of lost dogs around-the-world and the efforts undertaken by organizations to help reunite pets with owners.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/nftesr6

• “Take a Chance Day”. Some things you want won’t happen without a little risk. Today is as good a day as any to take that risk. Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?

• “Talk Like Shakespeare Day”, observed on the anniversary of the bard’s birth (and death at age 52).
TIPS FOR TALKING LIKE SHAKESPEARE: Instead of “you,” say “thou.” Instead of “y’all,” say “thee.” Thy, Thine and Ye are all good pronouns, too. Men are “sirrah,” ladies are “mistress,” and your friends are all called “cousin.” And to add weight to your opinions, start them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth, or wherefore.

• “World Book & Copyright Day”, declared annually by UNESCO to promote reading and books on the death anniversary of both William Shakespeare, and Miguel de Cervantes in 1616.

• “World Laboratory Day”, celebrating the place where great discoveries, inventions, and medical cures are born. (And where mad scientists dwell.)

• “English Language Day”, celebrating the date in 1362 when the Chancellor of the United Kingdom opened Parliament with a speech in English for the first time, a landmark in its development as a world language. English is now considered by many to be THE world language, and is often the second language of choice in non-English countries. (Ever notice how some of us think that all foreigners will understand it if we just speak it loudly enough.)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] New Kids on the Block Day
[Fri] Pigs-in-a-Blanket Day
[Sat] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Sat] National Crayola Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1896 [124] First ‘Motion Picture’ shown to the general public (a Vitascope system is used to project a film onto a screen in a demonstration at Koster & Bials Music Hall in NYC)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1988 [32] After spending a record total of 741 consecutive weeks (over 14 years) on the ‘Billboard 200’, Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album finally exits the chart (it has been back on the chart several times since, clocking a total of almost 950 weeks…)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1964 [56] The first MLB no-hitter pitched for a loss (Cincinnati Reds beat Astros’ pitcher Ken Johnson loses 1-0 on 2 costly Houston errors)

1985 [35] ‘New Coke’ makes its debut; Coca-Cola’s famous faux-pas when they changed the secret flavor formula

2005 [15] YouTube is launched. The first uploaded video is titled, “Me at the Zoo,” consisting of 18 seconds of co-founder Jawed Karim standing in front of an elephant enclosure at the San Diego Zoo.

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Mice can fit through a hole the size of a ballpoint pen.
✓ Coyotes can outpace roadrunners by 23 mph.
✓ On average, every adult human has two to nine pounds of bacteria in their body.
✓ The human body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring a gallon of water to a boil.
✓ Google was willing to sell the company for under $1 million in 1999 to a company called Excite. Excite turned down the offer… and were never heard of again.
✓ P.J. Tierney, the father of the modern diner, died of indigestion in 1917 after eating at a diner.
-Factinate, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS BEER A QUOTE:
• The only thing we have to beer, is beer itself.
• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of hoppyness.
• A beer in the hand is worth two in the Busch.
• The Bud stops here.
• No sense dwelling on the Pabst.
• Two beer or not two beer?
• You miss 100% of the shots you don’t drink.
• And God Said “Let There Be Coors Light”
• Ale be Back!
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much ‘artificial sweetener’?
• Why is the person who invests all your money called a ‘broker’?
• How do they treat someone who’s addicted to counseling?
• If maple syrup comes from maple trees, where does cough syrup come from?
• If you have to push a button, is it really ‘automatic’?
• Do masochists enjoy dying?
• When will New Jersey get new jerseys?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, do the other trees laugh?

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ More than three hundred Amazon employees participated in a walk-out to protest working conditions during the pandemic. (Well, I mean. . . they had to be let out of their cages first…)
➠ Scientists say talking to yourself may be good for brain function. (Sorry, Gary Busey…in order for it to work, you have to use actual words!)
➠ I just read that teens who spend most of their time listening to music are more likely to become depressed. (Especially if that music comes from their parent’s record collection.)
➠ A study found that 20% of adults don’t go online and don’t think the internet is relevant to their lives. (In related news, 20% of adults are going to feel really stupid when I make a KILLING with my Farmville crops next harvest. Dummies.)
➠ The new iPhone SE is the spitting image of the iPhone 8 in design and shape, except it costs less than $400 dollars. (It’s more advanced than the previous iPhone SE. But nowhere near as cool as next WEEK’S iPhone-announcement…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
A bit of inspiration:  https://tinyurl.com/y9yforsl

BS PHONE STARTER:
What doesn’t exist anymore that really should? Saturday morning cartoons? Home economics class?  Full-service gas stations? MySpace?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology – don’t buy it!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  42% of couples disagree on how to do THIS at home. What is it?
Answer:  Load the dishwasher

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by change.