Tuesday, April 27, 2010        Edition: #4249
Avoid Sheet Fits – Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

Ailing 74-year-old former Hollywood icon Burt Reynolds has slashed the price of his Jupiter Island, Florida mansion by $7 million in a desperate bid to offload the property (it’s now a steal at just under $9 million!) . . . 38-year-old TV actor Michael C Hall (“Dexter”) star has fully recovered from cancer and returned to work according to his wife Jennifer Carpenter, who plays his sister on the Showtime series (he married his sister?) . . . Actor Josh Hartnett is reportedly hooking up with actor Ryan Phillippe’s ex-, Aussie actress Abbie Cornish (she’s getting passed around like a bucket of chicken) . . . The “Dancing With the Stars” crew is said to be ‘relieved’ that Kate Gosselin is no longer a contestant this week, as she tired everyone out with her diva-like behavior (she used up her ‘15 minutes’ about a half-hour ago) . . . A friend of Brangelina tells “OK!” magazine that Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are planning a small wedding that will be a low-key affair (marking the 7,214th time their marriage has been predicted) . . . Despite the release of “Avatar” on DVD, the all-time top-grossing movie will be returning to theater screens in August with 6 additional minutes of footage (now they’re just getting greedy!) . . . And famous person Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been permanently banned from LA club Trousdale after throwing a drink – glass and all – on the clubs’s DJ, her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson (which date do you have in the ‘Final Meltdown Pool’?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Shania Twain mentors the 6 remaining finalists as they perform her songs.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – Melissa Etheridge (“Fearless Love”, out today) performs; nouveau Spanish flamenco guitarist Bénisé performs; another couple is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Toni Braxton (“Pulse”).
• “The Hills” (MTV) On the 6th season premiere, Heidi Montag’s family grills her about undergoing 10 plastic surgery operations in a single day.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Civil Twilight (“Civil Twilight”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Citizen Cope (“The Rainwater LP”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Whigs (“In the Dark”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Courtney Love (after months of dispute, her new album “Nobody’s Daughter” is released today under her reincarnated band’s name Hole).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ozzy Osbourne (“I Am Ozzy”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Judy Collins (“The Very Best of Judy Collins”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Dierks Bentley (“Up On the Ridge”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Cher – The 63-year-old pop icon has announced she’ll hit the road when her contract ends at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. She plans to launch a new single, “Already Been There”, at the “World Music Awards” in Monte Carlo next month.
• Death Cab For Cutie – They plan to enter the studio in June to begin recording the follow-up to
2008′s “Narrow Stairs”.
• Jo Dee Messina – Today she releases the EP “Unmistakable Trilogy: Love”, her first new material in 6 years and the first of 3 EPs in the series to be issued throughout this year.
• Justin Bieber – A performance scheduled for Monday on Sydney Harbor had to be cancelled over concerns for fans’ safety. Cops pulled the plug on his only Australian gig after ‘more than 100 teens’ became ‘distressed’.
• Lady Gaga – She has a tour bus with a studio in it and is currently recording new material for her next album while she’s on the road in Europe.
• Lonestar – Today they release their first studio album in 4 years, “Party Heard Around the World”. It’s their 10th album overall.
• Mariah Carey – Her rep has once again vehemently denied she’s pregnant, even though her appearance suggests otherwise. Apparently she’s just fat.
• Rihanna – She appears technically topless but discreetly covered in the new Italian “Vanity Fair” magazine. When does ‘tease’ become ‘sleaze’?
• U2 – In a new listing, “Spin” magazine ranks 1991′s “Achtung Baby” the ‘Best Album Of the Last 25 Years’.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” ( Fantasy Adventure ): Director Terry Gilliam’s story of a doctor’s deal with the devil that sends him scrambling to save his daughter features Heath Ledger’s farewell performance. Cast includes Christopher Plummer, Lily Cole, and – filling in for Ledger after he died – Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp, and Jude Law.
• “It’s Complicated” ( Romantic Comedy ): Meryl Streep & Alec Baldwin play a divorced couple who hook up again during his son’s college graduation, even though the ex-husband is now married to a much younger woman. Co-stars Steve Martin, Rita Wilson (Mrs Tom Hanks), John Krasinski (“The Office”), and Lake Bell (“What Happens in Vegas”).
• “Transylmania” ( Horror Comedy ): A group of college kids travels to Transylvania for a semester at ‘Razvan University’, which turns out not to be as picturesque (or safe) as it appears in its brochure. Shot on location in Romania. Stars Patrick Cavanaugh (“Mad Men”) and “Dorm Daze” actors James DeBello & Tony Denman.
• Also released today: “The Barbara Stanwyck Collection”; “Dogora” (Documentary); “GI Joe: A Real American Hero – Season 2.0” (Animation); “The Hills: Season 5, Part 2” (TV); “I Love Lucy: The Movie & Other Great Rarities”; “Murphy’s Law: Series 2” (Vintage TV); “The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 8” (Animation); and “Survivors: The Complete Original Series 1975-77 (Vintage TV).

KICKASS NEW JOBS:

Gigs that are so incredible, it’s hard to believe people are actually paid to do them …
• Doggy Flight Attendant: Animal transporter Pet Airways hires people who have worked with pets professionally – at a vet’s office or doggy daycare – or have extensive pet experience.
• Floating Chef: If you just want to gain some cooking experience while seeing the world, aim for a chef’s assistant or cook position on a cruise ship or private yacht.
• Globe-Trotting Teacher: Cirque du Soleil places teachers with each production to educate child stars and children of the performers while traveling the world.
• Professional Tweeter: PR firms that create social-networking strategies may offer a job that involves blogging about corporate events, tweeting about products, and/or building social-marketing plans for clients.
• Speed Decorator: Hired by homeowners and real-estate agents to turn a home that isn’t selling into a gorgeous abode that has buyers salivating.
• Style Guide: Put your shopping expertise to work by helping time-crunched locals or bargain-hunting travelers scout out anything from vintage dresses to designer samples.
• Tropical Talent Tamer: From Hawaii to the Caribbean, resorts with performance spaces hire production assistants and event planners to manage show logistics.
• Undercover Diner: Mystery Shopping Providers Association represents several companies that hire consultants to pose as customers and assess how restaurant staffers treat guests.
– Cosmopolitan.com

ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH:

Believe it or not, these research papers are for real and actually got published …
– “Effects of Cocaine on Honeybee Dance Behavior” (Journal of Experimental Biology)
– “Swearing As a Response to Pain” (NeuroReport)
– “The Booty Call: A Compromise Between Men’s & Women’s Ideal Mating Strategies” (The Journal of Sex Research)
– “Intermittent Access to Beer Promotes Binge-like Drinking in Adolescent But Not Adult Wistar Rats” (Alcohol).
– “Are Full or Empty Beer Bottles Sturdier and Does Their Fracture-Threshold Suffice to Break the Human Skull?” (Journal of Forensic & Legal Medicine)
– TheGlobeAndMail.com

ANESTHETIC MONEY:

Money may not buy you love or happiness, but apparently it can bring relief from pain. In a series of University of Minnesota experiments, people who counted money felt less pain when their hands were dipped into scalding water. The soothing power of cash also helped them shrug off the emotional pain of social exclusion. The findings might offer an easy way to ease life’s stings and hurts, from painful medical treatments to social ostracism: Simply flip through a bulging wallet before enduring a painful experience. (“I got a headache …. lend me a C-note?”)
– Discovery.com

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:

• A company called SensoMotoric, in cooperation with the Free University of Berlin, has developed a technology that allows you to steer a car simply by moving your eyes. Here’s how it works: A camera tracks your eye movements, then a computer uses this data to direct the car’s steering column. This ‘eyeDriver’ technology won’t likely be adopted widely in consumer vehicles. After all, if a car pulled up next to you and you looked over to see it – slam! The device is more likely to find military usage.
– CruchGear.com
• It may only be skin deep, but having only ‘Barbie’ pink to color in the skin color in drawings of people sure becomes kind of passé in today’s modern, multi-ethnic society. Fear not! Crayola has the solution: A set of ‘multicultural’ crayons, composed of various hues of black, sepia, burnt sienna, mahogany, tan, peach, apricot, as well as lily white.
– Neatorama.com

WAYS TO CONSERVE WATER:

Clean water seems destined to become one of this century’s most valuable commodities. A few ways to reduce your ‘water footprint’ that you may not have considered …
• Eat Less Meat: A kilo of beef requires a staggering 15,500 liters (4,095 gallons) of water to produce.
• Use Less Sugar: Sugarcane is one of the most water-thirsty crops, using up almost twice that of corn.
• Eat Less Processed Food: Water is needed for every stage of food production, and that certainly includes any kind of refining, processing, or canning.
• Eat Local: Cutting back on the mileage from farm to your plate will also save much water.
• Drink Less Coffee: Go gentle on the java! 140 liters (37 gallons) of water are needed to produce just 1 cup of coffee.
– Condensed from BestHealthMag.ca

BS CHRONOMETER 04.27.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [62] Katie Pierson, Athens GA, classic rock singer (B-52′s-“Love Shack”, “Rock Lobster”)

1951 [59] Paul (‘Ace’) Frehley, Bronx NY, former rock singer/guitarist (KISS-“Rock ‘n Roll All Nite”, “Beth”)

1984 [26] Patrick Stump, Glenview IL, rock singer/guitarist (Fall Out Boy-“She’s My Winona”, This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Child Care Professionals Day”, to help us understand and appreciate their role in children’s development. (Guess that’s why those security cameras hidden in lamps were invented.)

• “Freedom Day”, a South African public holiday celebrating the country’s first post-apartheid elections held on this day in 1994.

• “Prime Rib Day”, in honor of the best beef cut there is. (Not sure why but … bring it on!)

• “Teach Your Children to Save Day”, part of “Financial Literacy Month”. How come kids don’t learn to handle financial matters in school?

• “Tell a Story Day”, celebrating storytelling of all kinds. It doesn’t matter if it’s fiction or non-fiction, a tall-tale, or folklore.

• “World Graphic Design Day”, observed since 1995 to celebrate the profession of graphic & communication design.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2000 [10] “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

1981 [29] Former Beatle drummer Ringo Starr weds movie actress Barbara Bach (“The Spy Who Loved Me”), which turns out to be one of the longer-lasting marriages in show biz

1989 [21] Former high school sweethearts Jon Bon Jovi & Dorothea Hurley are wed (still going strong!)

1990 [20] Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose weds Erin Everly, daughter of ‘50s rock ‘n roller Don Everly, which turns out to be one of the shortest marriages in show biz (27 days)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1967 [43] “Expo ’67” opens in Montréal (originally planned for Moscow, to help the Soviet Union celebrate the 50th anniversary of its revolution)

1981 [29] The ‘Computer Mouse’ is introduced as part of a $16,000 Xerox computer system (Douglas Englebart had patented his ‘X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System’ way back in 1970)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1972 [38] The mayor of Scarborough UK gulps 500 oysters in a record 48 minutes, 7 seconds

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Workers Memorial Day
[Wed] Great Poetry Reading Day
[Wed] Full ‘Pink’ Moon
[Thurs] “Billboard Latin Music Awards” (San Juan PR)
[Thurs] “Governor General’s Performing Arts Awards” begin (Ottawa)
[Fri] CRA Income Tax Deadline
This Week Is … Dance Week
This Month Is … Card & Letter Writing Month

BULL’S BITS


DESIGNER DOUGHNUTS:
Dunkin Donuts launched the ‘Create Dunkin’s Next Donut’ contest to encourage diehard fans across the US to submit ideas for a new doughnut. Among the finalists …
• ‘Cop Cake’: A cake donut with chocolate icing, topped with white sprinkles and chopped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
• ‘Full Moon’: A cheesecake kreme-filled donut with white icing, topped with shredded coconut and Hershey’s Vanilla shavings.
• ‘I Like You a Latte’: A chocolate cake donut with maple icing, topped with white and chocolate sprinkles.
• ‘Mango Fandango’: A berry mango-filled glazed donut, topped with pink and orange sprinkles.
• ‘S’morgasbord’: A marshmallow-filled donut with chocolate icing, topped with graham cracker crunch.
So what would your custom doughnut look and taste like?
– Mashable.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best mode of travel … train, car, plane, ship, camel? Why?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:

Why are women more likely to die of a heart attack than men?
a. Women worry more.
b. Women suffer milder symptoms. [CORRECT, causing them to delay going to hospital.]
c. Women exercise less.
– “TIME”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m in shape … round’s a shape isn’t it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: 17% of women have done THIS, although many would think it’s disgusting.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Baited a fishing hook.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.


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