Thursday, August 10, 2006        Edition: #3341
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the remaining 4 dancers on “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX) step out in the  show’s final performance episode (the winner of $100,000 and a 1-year contract with Celine Dion’s Las Vegas show will be announced on NEXT WEEK’s season finalé) . . . THIS FALL “Dancing with the Stars” (ABC) will reportedly feature retired NFL running back Emmitt Smith, former child star Joey Lawrence (“Gimme a Break!”), actress Vivica A Fox (“Kill Bill: Vol 1”) and soon-to-be-ex-Mrs Travis Barker (blink-182), Shanna Moakler (“Meet the Barkers”) when it premieres SEPTEMBER 12th . . . Rapper/actor Nick Cannon (“Monster House”, “Drumline”) has a new production deal with MTV to develop & appear in a string of projects for the channel, including a sketch comedy show & a music reality series . . . Starting THIS FALL, some 1.4 million newspaper subscribers (“NY Daily News”/”Dallas Morning News”) will begin receiving “Hollywood Preview”, a weekly CD-ROM of upcoming movie & music samples in their SUNDAY editions (now there’s an idea that’s gonna catch on!) . . . Top-selling authors Stephen King (“Cell”) & John Irving (“Cider House Rules”) have made a plea to “Harry Potter” creator JK Rowling not to kill off the boy wizard in the upcoming final book of the series, but she’s making no promises . . . Actor Bruce Willis is suing a childhood friend he employed for the past 4 years to maintain his personal memorabilia, seeking at least $1 million for allegedly trying to extort money by threatening to disclose private info & photos (another attempt at payback following a firing?) . . . And 20-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq to entertain the troops there (with her rep, it’ll likely be one at a time).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brooks & Dunn – TONIGHT they headline the “Dr Phil & Friends” hurricane relief concert in New Orleans LA. Stand-up comic Jeff Foxworthy, and singers Brian McKnight and Allen Toussaint are also on the bill.
• Cassie – TONIGHT she does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Christina Milian – TONIGHT she’s a guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Garth Brooks/Trisha Yearwood – TODAY they guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated).
• James Gang – TONIGHT the ’70s rock group led by Joe Walsh (The Eagles) reunites to kick off a summer tour in Sturgis SD. The band’s biggest hits were “Funk 49“ and “Walk Away”.
• Janet Jackson – During a recent TV show appearance in the UK, her demands included a bottle of water from a specific spring in Fiji, chilled to an exact temperature as measured by thermometer. Are we spoiled?
• Jewel – TONIGHT she performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Love” (ABC).
• Natasha Bedingfield – Sylvester Stallone has personally signed her up to perform the theme song “Still Here” that will be featured throughout “Rocky Balboa”, the latest (and hopefully last) instalment in his boxing movie series.
• Paul McCartney – He’s hired the lawyer who represented Britain’s Prince Charles in his divorce proceedings with Princess Diana 10 years ago. Intriguingly, his estranged wife Heather Mills McCartney has hired that late Princess Di’s divorce lawyer.
• The Rolling Stones – ABC-TV has given the go-ahead for a comedy called “The Knights of Prosperity”, about a group of losers who plot to rob Mick Jagger’s NYC apartment. Mick will apparently make cameo appearances in what was originally cleverly titled “Let’s Rob Mick Jagger”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A sampling of movies in the making …
• “Fly Me to the Moon” – This feature-length computer-generated animated film uses the 1969 Apollo 11 Moon mission as a backdrop for the tale of 3 stowaway houseflies. The voice cast includes former astronaut ‘Buzz’ Aldrin, as well as Ed Begley Jr, Nicollette Sheridan, and Kelly Ripa (“Live with Regis & Kelly”). Filmed entirely in 3-D, it’s planned for release NEXT SPRING or SUMMER.
• “Lars & the Real Girl” – London ON-born actor Ryan Gosling has signed on to star in this quirky comedy about a hermit who strikes up an unconventional relationship with a Latex blow-up doll that he finds on the Internet. At last the perfect movie role for Paris Hilton!
• “Slide Away” – This bio-pic about late INXS singer Michael Hutchence has been in development for some time but gained momentum after LAST SUMMER’s reality TV show “Rock Star: INXS”. It will be directed by UK video maker Nick Egan, who shot many of the band’s videos. The project’s name comes from a posthumous duet that paired Hutchence with U2′s Bono. Hutchence was found in a Sydney hotel room in November 1997, the apparent victim of either suicide or accidental death via autoerotic asphyxiation (that’s where you pleasure yourself while hanging from a rope around your neck). He was just 37.
• “3:10 to Yuma” – Christian Bale is close to a deal to star opposite Russell Crowe in a remake of the 1957 Western that starred Glenn Ford as captured outlaw ‘Ben Wade’ who finds himself in the custody of a small-time rancher. The movie is on track for a FALL shoot.

AIR MATTRESS:
Dutch architect Janjaap Ruijssenaars has developed a bed that hovers in the air through magnetic force. It’s pushed into the air by repelling magnetic forces built into the floor and into the bed itself. Steel cables keep it steady enough so that it could also function as a dining table. The idea was to break the rule of thumb that all architecture is dictated by gravity. The bed will be sold to the first taker willing to part with 1.2 million euros … about $1.5 million.
– AHN

TOP ROAD TUNES:
A new Decima Research poll finds that 66% of us sing in the car, and more than half sing-along to the radio. The poll also ranks the ‘Favorite Driving Tunes’ of Canadians …
5. “Drive My Car”, The Beatles
4. “It’s Only Rock & Roll”, The Rolling Stones
3. “Born to be Wild”, Steppenwolf
2. “Bohemian Rhapsody”, Queen
1. “Summer of ’69”, Bryan Adams
Note: The ranking is skewed because respondents were asked to select tunes from a list. Otherwise, there might be something from this millennium included.
– CBC Arts

REAL BUT REALLY WACKY USA PLACE NAMES:
• Hellhole Bay, South Carolina
• Big Beaver Lick, Kentucky
• Big Bone Lick, Kentucky
• Eerie, Indiana
• Bucksnort, Tennessee
• Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
• Nimrod, Minnesota
• Manassas, Virginia
• Chugwater, Wyoming
• Twodot, Montana
NET: http://www.funnynames.com/

DOG DAYS OF SUMMER:
Thousands of dogs die every year from heatstroke. The most common causes are leaving a pooch chained in the yard without adequate shade and water, and leaving an animal in a closed vehicle. Animals with short or pug noses are more susceptible than long-nosed pets, and larger animals have a harder time cooling themselves than small ones. Even a small amount of exercise during the middle of a hot summer day can be too much for your pet. (Not to mention you.)
– “Palm Beach Post”

DOG DAYS OF SUMMER 2:
How hot is it? THIS SUMMER the temperature in Kuujjuaq, Québec, the far north home to 2,000 Inuit people, has hovered as high as 31 C (88 F). That’s why 10 air conditioners are being installed for about 25 local office workers. Is global warming becoming that bad? Maybe, but another problem is that Arctic buildings are designed to be airtight to keep out cold and do not breathe well in the heat of summer.
– Canada.com

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 94% of us still have an old-school landline telephone.
• 80% of us own exercise equipment … and don’t use it.
• 42% of men have fallen asleep while getting a haircut.
• 37% of working women have never used the restroom at work … ever.
• 30% of guys are annoyed by their wife/girlfriend getting angry over ‘guys night out’.
• 25% of single women going on a first date wear their biggest, ugliest granny underwear.

THERE’S VIOLENCE IN PRO WRESTLING?
According to a new Wake Forest University study published in the AUGUST issue of “Pediatrics”, teens who watch pro wrestling on TV are more likely to behave violently than other kids. And perhaps surprisingly, girls seem to be more influenced than boys. In fact, girls who watch wrestling 6 or more times over a 2-week period start date fights 170% more often than those who don’t. A World Wrestling Entertainment spokesman rejects the findings, claiming many WWE fans find that watching wrestling is a ‘positive experience’ for children. (And he said it straight-faced!)
– AP

BASS IS BETTER AT BEDTIME:
According to a survey of families, when it comes to hearing bedtime stories, deep male tones are preferred by both children and adults. Women’s voices are often perceived as less likely to aid restful sleep. (When it comes to singing lullabies, however, “I want Mommy!”)
– “The Observer”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

THE BULL SHEET 08.10.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [57] Gene Johnson, Jamestown NY, country singer (Diamond Rio-“God Only Cries”, “One More Day”)

1959 [47] Rosanna Arquette, NYC, movie actress (“Pulp Fiction”)/sister of actors David Arquette & Patricia Arquette

1960 [46] Antonio Banderas, Malaga, Spain, movie actor (“Shrek 2”, “Spy Kids”)/Mr Melanie Griffith since 1996  COMING UP: “Shrek 3“ (2007), and “Puss in Boots” (2008).

1961 [45] Jon Farriss, Perth, Australia, rock drummer (INXS-“Need You Tonight”)/former TV reality show judge (“Rock Star: INXS” 2005)

1973 [33] Jennifer Hanson, La Habra CA, country singer (“Beautiful Goodbye”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Edmonton Folk Music Festival”, through SUNDAY in the Alberta capital’s Gallagher Park. The name is a bit misleading as THIS YEAR’s wide variety of performers includes Sarah Harmer, Feist, the Neville Bros, Bruce Cockburn, Chumbawamba, the Blind Boys of Alabama, and bluegrass musician Ricky Skaggs. TONIGHT’s opening night performance features Linda Ronstadt, Somali-born rapper K’naan, and Canadian indie band Bedouin Soundclash.
NET: http://www.efmf.ab.ca/

• “National Hobo Convention”, the 106th annual through SUNDAY in Britt, Iowa. Some 30,000 professional and part-time hobos are expected to hop trains from all over North America to attend the parade, the ‘King & Queen of the Hobos’ coronation, ‘Hobo Jungle’ and ‘Hobo Museum’.
PHONER: 641.843.9104 (The Hobo Foundation)
NET: http://www.hobo.com

• “S’Mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats. Here’s the complicated directions – toast marshmallows over campfire, then place them on graham cracker with piece of chocolate. Take second graham cracker and smush it on top. Inhale.

• “Spoil Your Dog Day” … like there’s some other option? What’s your pup’s favorite treat?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [21] 1st solo album by a female artist to sell 5 million copies (Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [130] 1st ‘Long Distance Call’ (Alexander Graham Bell calls Paris … Paris, Ontario that is, from nearby Brantford)

1889 [117] 1st ‘Screw Cap’ (and first skin is ripped from a frustrated consumer’s fingers)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Daughters Day
[Fri] Dog Days of Summer end
[Fri] “Accepted”, “Pulse”, “Step Up”, and “Zoom” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Middle Child’s Day
[Sat] Truck Drivers Day
[Sat] Garage Sale Day
[Sun-Aug 18] AIDS 2006 World Conference (Toronto)
[Sun] International Left-Handers Day
This Week Is … Scrabble Week
This Month Is … Admit You’re Happy Month

BULL’S BITS

REJECTED NEW TV SHOWS:
• “American Family Dad Guy” – An animated series with a dysfunctional family composed of a heavy-set dad, a hot wife, a talking sea anemone, siamese twins, and a anorexic baby.
• “America’s Next Top Kiss-Ass” – The best brown-nosers vie for a mediocre job.
• “CSI: Toledo” – Crime scene investigators solve their toughest cases yet in this glitzy and glamorous city.
• “Deal, No Deal with the Models Holding the Briefcases” – What will these men do? Will they take the money and run, or will they take their chances with the hotties holding the cases?
• “Extreme Makeover: Ho Edition” – NYC prostitutes get makeovers so they can star on the next season of “The Bachelor”.
• “The Fattest Loser” – Stand-up comedians poke fun at fatties until they cry. The comic who gets one to cry first wins.
• “Law & Order: Special Ed Unit” – Challenged adults try to solve crimes, but instead get frustrated and bang their heads on tables.
• “Lost: Sahara” – 10 survivors of a Saharan plane crash slowly die of hunger and dehydration.
• “Red Green’s Anatomy” – Red Green gets naked and explores his anatomy.
• “Trading Infections” – People with various diseases rub open wounds on each other. Whoever survives, wins!
– Revised & extrapolated from BBSpot

BS ANIMAL CRACKERS:
Called terms of ‘venery’ (‘the hunt’ in medieval times), many groups of animals have names you are familiar with – a ‘pack’ of dogs, a ‘school’ of fish, a ‘colony’ of ants. But try to identify these animals by their group names …
• A ‘Romp’ of ? [Otters]
• A ‘Crash’ of ? [Rhinoceroses]
• A ‘Shrewdness’ of ? [Apes]
• An ‘Exaltation’ of ? [Larks]
• A ‘Host’ of ? [Sparrows]
• A ‘Murder’ of ? [Crows]
• A ‘Troop’ of ? [Kangaroos or Monkeys]
• A ‘Leash’ of ? [Greyhounds]
• An ‘Unkindness’ of ? [Ravens]
• A ‘Sounder’ of ? [Swine]

BS WEB GOODIE:
TODAY voting is scheduled to begin for the 2006 “World Stupidity Awards”, an annual selection of the world’s dumbest people and their dumb actions.
NET: http://www.stupidityawards.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I think pushing 40 is exercise enough.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 7 out of 10 husbands do THIS when they go to bed at night.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sleep closest to the bedroom door.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good enough never is.

BULLMAIL:
“I would just like to say that out of all the radio prep sites that I’ve sampled yours is without doubt the BEST! I will be subscribing if it’s this good all the time.” – Rob Charles @ Century FM, Manchester UK. We’re always interested in your feedback. E-mail us at Bullmail@TheBullSheet.com


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