Monday, August 1, 2011 Edition: #4561
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Actress, humanitarian, and new filmmaker Angelina Jolie was honored at the “Sarajevo Film Festival” on Saturday, and she had partner Brad Pitt beside her for support. The couple waved to the cheering crowds before Angelina was awarded the ‘Honorary Heart Of Sarajevo’ award during the festival’s closing ceremony in the Bosnian capital. (The way to get stars to show up at your event … give ‘em some kind of shiny trophy.)
• There was another royal wedding in the UK Saturday, and this time William & Kate were just among the guests. This time the bride was Zara Phillips, William’s cousin, and Queen Elizabeth’s eldest granddaughter. Zara (30) wed rugby player Mike Tindall (32) in Edinburgh, Scotland’s historic Canongate Kirk, a church that dates back to 1688. (How lovely … another chance for the ladies to get out their funny hats.)
– “Daily Mail”
• It might seem like LA Lakers’ NBA player Ron Artest is a shameless self-promoter (and he is) but the reason he’s having announcements of his intended name-change to ‘Metta World Peace’ published in LA newspapers 4 weeks in-a-row is … that’s the legal requirement for anyone looking to officially change their name in the State of California. A judge is scheduled to sign off on the order August 26th. (Which means you have approximately 4 weeks to sell your Ron Artest jerseys.)
• Meantime, Dallas Mavericks basketball star Shawn Marion isn’t taking any chances with the NBA lockout. He just turned down “Dancing With the Stars” to make sure he’s free to practice with his team this fall. It seems the show sent him an official offer to appear as a contestant, but the NBA champ says he wants to make sure he’s 100% available in case the lockout ends early … so it’s a no go. (BS translation: He can’t dance.)
• After nearly 2 years together, “True Blood” actor Alexander Skarsgard & “21” actress Kate Bosworth have called it quits. While Bosworth (28) was photographed giving her ex, Orlando Bloom (now married to Miranda Kerr) a friendly hug recently, her “Straw Dogs” co-star Skarsgard (34) has apparently been embracing his freedom, stepping out with various ladies in Lalaland. (That’s what being famous is all about, no?)
– “Us Weekly”
• And just days after former reality star Kristin Cavallari’s engagement to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was suddenly called off, the new issue of “Life & Style” magazine has hit newsstands with her modeling … wedding dresses. Inside the mag she gushes, “I want a romantic, mystical wedding, with lots of flowers.” Oops! An insider has confided that it was indeed Cutler who pulled the plug on the vow-swap after getting ‘cold feet’. Word has it Kristin was ‘stunned’. (But then … we already knew that.)
– “E! Online”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC) – The 2 remaining bachelors meet Ashley’s family; Ashley gives out her final rose.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Pitbull (“Planet Pit”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Bruno Mars (“Doo – Wops & Hooligans”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Jake Shimabukuro (“Aloha to You”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tune-Yards (“whokill”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Christina Perri (“Lovestrong”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Guest co-host Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Colbie Caillat (“All Of You”).
• “The Rolling Stone Years” – A new coffee-table book collecting the works of former “Rolling Stone” photographer Baron Wolman is out today. It includes classic images of Bob Dylan, The Doors, George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, the Rolling Stones, The Who and many more.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Matt Nathanson (“Modern Love”); Sheryl Crow (“Icon: Sheryl Crow”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Lady Gaga (“Born This Way”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Def Leppard – They’ve re-recorded some of their best tracks as lullabies.
• Justin Bieber – He & his dad now have matching tattoos saying ‘Yeshua’. (Classy parenting.)
• Kings of Leon – They were forced to halt a gig in Dallas, Texas Friday night when Caleb Followill stormed offstage, seemingly intoxicated. He denied that, complaining about voice problems and intense heat at the venue.
• Lauryn Hill – She’s Tweeted that Rohan Marley (son of late reggae artist Bob Marley) is NOT the father of her new baby as has been rumored. But there’s no word on who actually is.
• Maroon 5 – Adam Levine tells CNN he’s tired of celebrities constantly complaining about paparazzi, suggesting they knew what to expect when they got into the biz. (Hear hear!)
• Morrissey – The outspoken Brit singer is refusing to retract controversial comments he made comparing the massacre in Norway to the daily slaughter of animals for fast food outlets, insisting they are morally equivalent. The staunch vegetarian recently made the comments onstage in Warsaw, Poland before launching into his tune “Meat Is Murder”.
• Rihanna – Spotted shopping in Beverly Hills, it’s become apparent she’s swapped her bright red recent hairstyle for a more natural, low-key look.
• Rolling Stones – A new Mick Jagger biography called “BackStage Pass VIP” is being shopped around to publishers by Debra Sharon Davis, who traveled with the Stones in the 1980s. Among the revelations: Mick is apparently a closet conservative who runs the band like a tough CEO.
• Taylor Swift – She’s set to receive ‘The Ultimate Choice Award’ in recognition of ‘extraordinary contributions to the entertainment industry’ at the “Teen Choice Awards” August 7th.
HONEST TO GOODNESS:
A Canada-wide ad campaign by the non-profit organization People For Good has no goal other than spreading the idea of civility and being nice to one another. In total, some 60 media owners have donated ad space or air-time for the feel-good messages, one media organization ponying up $2.3 million-worth. Among the be good/do good messages being spread about in outdoor ads …
• “Give your fellow driver FIVE fingers. Wave.”
• “Don’t carry grudges. They weigh a ton.”
• “Real men are measured by the size of their generosity.”
Radio ads along the same lines have been recorded by actor Jason Priestley and singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb. (Good idea or shallow platitudes?)
MOST EXPENSIVE CITIES:
A new comparative analysis called ‘TripIndex’ compares the cost of visiting 50 cities around-the-world. The priciest …
5. New York, New York
4. Tokyo, Japan
3. London, England
2. Zurich, Switzerland
1. Paris, France
Cheapest place to visit? Bangkok, Thailand, which costs about a quarter as much as Paris.
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
• 51% of women think chest hair is a turn-off on a man.
• 50% of retail consumers say their #1 pet peeve is trying on clothes.
• 47% of seniors enjoy attending weddings, compared to 60% of the rest of us.
• 25% of women have dumped a relationship via text message, compared to 15% of men.
• 22% of us leave globs of toothpaste in the sink.
ALL-TIME CLASSIC SUMMERTIME MOVIES:
A new ranking of some of the sizzlin’ season’s best-ever films …
10. “Dirty Dancing” (1987)
9. “Stand by Me” (1986)
8. “Adventureland” (2009)
7. “(500) Days of Summer” (2009)
6. “Fried Green Tomatoes” (1991)
5. “Wet Hot American Summer” (2001)
4. “Dazed & Confused” (1993)
3. “Jaws” (1975)
2. “Rear Window” (1953)
1. “Field of Dreams” (1989)
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A statistical study shows that you are least likely to die in August.
– “Weekly World News”
• However, the chances of dying in a car crash are greatest in August.
BS CHRONOMETER 08.01.11
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959  Joe Elliott, Sheffield UK, classic rock singer (Def Leppard-“Promises”, “Love Bites”)
1960  Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour), Roosevelt NY, trendsetting rapper (Public Enemy-“Shut ‘Em Down”, “Fight the Power”)
1964  Adam Duritz, Baltimore MD, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Big Yellow Taxi”)
1965  Sam Mendes, Reading UK, movie producer/director (“Revolutionary Road”, Oscar-“American Beauty”)/wed to actress Kate Winslet (2003-10) COMING UP: The as-yet-untitled 23rd ‘James Bond’ movie (2012).
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “August”, originally the 6th month of the Roman year which was called Sextilis. In the year 8 BC, Emperor Augustus Caesar persuaded the Senate to change the month’s name to ‘Augustus’ in his honor. If it weren’t for him, today would be the 1st of Sextilis!
• “Civic Holiday”, celebrated annually on the 1st Monday in August in 7 provinces & 1 territory of Canada, though it goes by various names in each. Who cares what it’s called … party!
• “Girlfriends Day”, either some girl’s greedy grab at gifts from her guy, or perhaps a day for ‘the girls’ to hang out and share woman-to-woman time?
• “Respect for Parents Day”. So what’s the best way to gain respect … setting an example or creating fear?
• “Rounds Resounding Day”, a day to sing rounds. Altogether now, “Row, row, row …”
• “Spider-Man Day”, marking the superhero’s debut in 1962 in issue #15 of “Amazing Fantasy” comics. It’s a good time to note that the next ‘Spidey’ movie, “The Amazing Spider-Man” starring Andrew Garfield, is coming to theaters July 3rd, 2012.
• “US Air Force Day”, observed since 1947 to commemorate the 1907 establishment of the ‘Aeronautical Division’ of the American military.
• “World Wide Web Day”, marking the birth of the Web in August 1990 at the Europe Laboratory for Particle Physics in Switzerland. Tim Berners-Lee & Robert Cailliau developed a prototype Web browser and introduced Hypertext Markup Language (HTML).
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1961  ‘Six Flags Over Texas’, the first amusement park in the chain, opens in Arlington, Texas
1981  MTV debuts at 12:01 am (1st video – The Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star”)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995  “Gangsta’s Paradise” is released by one-hit-wonder Coolio (he’s turning 48 today)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1933  ‘Skippy Peanut Butter’ is 1st marketed
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1957  Canadian Glen Gorbous (Rosedale, Alberta) throws a baseball a record 445-ft, 10-ins (136 m) while playing with the St Louis Cardinals’ Triple A team, still the longest throw ever recorded
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] National Night Out
[Tues] Make Some Old-Fashioned Lemonade Day
[Tues] Ice Cream Sandwich Day
[Wed] Watermelon Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Chip Day
[Thurs] Underwear Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Exhibitor Appreciation Week / Fraud Awareness Week / Psychic Week / Simplify Your Life Week / Single Working Women’s Week / World Breastfeeding Week
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS IT’S TIME YOU HAD A YARD SALE:
• You no longer have a junk drawer … it’s now a junk room.
• You’re still living by your granny’s advice, “There might be another Depression one day and you don’t want to be left wanting.”
• You’ve had to rent a mini-storage unit to house your exciting collection of empty mayo jars.
• You have every ticket stub from every movie you’ve ever been to … just in case.
• You still have hopes those “Mork & Mindy” trading cards will be worth something someday.
• You’ve gone from a 2-car garage to a ‘no-car’ garage.
– First published in “BS” 2008
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Too soon for Amy Winehouse jokes? Not really, there’s a ton of them here …
BS PHONE STARTER:
What movie still makes you cry every time you see it?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What do you make when you manufacture ‘cerumen’?
c. Earwax. [CORRECT. It’s the substance secreted by glands in the outer ear.]
A consulting firm known as ‘The Fun Department’ helps companies stage ‘recess’ at work, when employees compete in fun activities such as relay racing, and broom hockey. Why? they say a happy environment supports team-building, morale, and motivation.
Phoner: 302.731.8800 (Nick Gianoulis, Newark DE)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A women’s magazine says more than 50,000 people are injured every year by THIS personal item.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Jewelry.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Thinking is wise, planning is better, doing is best.