Friday, August 1, 2008        Edition: #3827
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

Cancer survivor Patrick Swayze has been approached to star in a sequel to his hit 1987 movie “Dirty Dancing” (does it take place in a retirement home?) . . . 76-year-old screen legend Elizabeth Taylor is said to be in critical condition in hospital after suffering congestive heart failure (this is shocking – she’s still around?) . . . Insiders say actor Mike Myers is now working on a script for a 4th “Austin Powers” movie ‘as a tribute to his late father’ (not to mention the fact that, aside from his “Shrek” voiceovers, all his other efforts are bombing bigtime) . . . 41-year-old actor Luke Perry has agreed to join the cast of “Law & Order: SVU” (NBC) instead of accepting an offer to reprise his role in the upcoming CW remake of “Beverly Hills 90210“ (well, at least one of them has some sense!) . . . Actors Rachel McAdams (31) & Ryan Gosling (27), who had a 2-year relationship after teaming up in 2004’s “The Notebook”, have sparked speculation they’re a couple again after leaving a Hollywood club together (we knew ‘Allie’ would come back to him!) . . . Green Bay Packer great Brett Favre will appear on the cover of EA’s “Madden 2009” videogame, becoming the first retired NFL player to do so (or is he?) . . . New parents Jamie-Lynn Spears & Casey Aldridge are busy planning their wedding, which will reportedly take place before the end of 2008 (so they can also divorce and score the ‘Big 3′ in a single year) . . . And Hollywood beach bum Matthew McConaughey has already taken his new son Levi surfing in Malibu CA and the kid’s only 3-weeks-old! (he hung 10 on a tongue depressor).

• Broken Social Scene – SATURDAY they kick off their 3-month “Something For All Of Us” tour of the US with an appearance at Chicago’s “Lollapalooza”.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – THIS AFTERNOON the Jonas Bros are featured.
• Gnarls Barkley – TONIGHT they begin a North American tour in Columbus OH, promoting their 2nd album release, “The Odd Couple”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – TONIGHT it’s retro time as 1980s hit-makers Huey Lewis & The News are onstage.
• “Lollapalooza” – TONIGHT through SUNDAY the 2008 edition in Chicago’s Grant Park features Kanye West, The Raconteurs, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, and Wilco, among oodles of others.
• “Magnetic Hill Music Festival” – SATURDAY country-rock veterans the Eagles headline the ‘08 blast in Moncton NB. John Fogerty, KT Tunstall, and the Sam Roberts Band are also on tap.
• Motley Crue – TONIGHT they play a concert at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas which will be available live on-line beginning at 9:30 pm PT.
• “Regeneration Tour” – TONIGHT some of the biggest names and silliest haircuts of the ‘80s are teaming up to kick off a 22-city tour in Phoenix AZ. Among the acts on the bill: ABC, Belinda Carlisle, Dead or Alive, A Flock of Seagulls, the Human League, and Naked Eyes.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – THIS MORNING Sheryl Crow performs in NYC.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – TONIGHT John Mellencamp performs with T Bone Burnett.

• The Beatles – Yet another never-heard recording of their music has been found, this time in a Liverpool, England attic. The 30-minute reel-to-reel tape, discovered during an attic clean-up, includes a number of unreleased versions of their hits, such as “I Feel Fine” and “I’m A Loser”.
• Gretchen Wilson – The Black Crowes have issued a notice of copyright infringement against her, alleging that her song “Work Hard Play Harder” borrows liberally from their original composition “Jealous Again”.

• “Midnight Meat Train” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Bradley Cooper (“Alias”) plays a photographer hunting a serial killer (Brit actor Vinnie Jones) who preys on commuters in the subways of NYC. Based on a short story by Clive Barker, who admits he came up with the idea while under the influence of a cannabis brownie. Word has it the DVD release is coming quickly.
• “The Mummy: Tomb Of the Dragon Emperor” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): In this 3rd instalment of the adventure franchise, star Brendan Fraser takes on martial arts veteran Jet Li. The story takes place in the Far East, where the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin is unearthed. Co-stars Maria Bello (replacing Rachel Weisz) and Michelle Yeoh (“Memoirs of a Geisha”). Partially shot in Montréal.
• “Swing Vote” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Kevin Costner plays an apathetic, beer-slinging, lovable loser who, through a chain of improbable events, ends up holding the single deciding vote in a US presidential election. Costner has rounded up a slew of his cronies to co-star, including Kelsey Grammar, Dennis Hopper, George Lopez, racing legend Richard Petty, and Willie Nelson.

There are already beer labels that change color when chilled and soon we may have food labels that totally disappear when the product is out-of-date. The National Taiwan University in Taipei has developed an ink made with a chemical which fades from red to beige in the presence of oxygen. It could be used for food labels that slowly change color as the ingredients age. Varying the thickness of a plastic film on top of the label would allow various best-before dates to be ‘programed’. (What we really need is food that disappears when the person is overweight.)
– “New Scientist”

A new study from Integrated Media Measurement finds that as much as 20% of TV viewing now occurs online. About half of that viewing involves using a computer as a substitute for a TV set. The other half involves watching past programs that were missed (known as ‘catch-up’ viewing) or re-viewing programs that have already been seen on TV. Some 30% of those watching TV shows online are adults 25-34. The study concludes that it’s only a matter of time until most viewers use computers to receive all TV programs. (Meaning that laptop you just bought is already out-of-date.)
– “Advertising Age”

Some of the most frightening ice cream flavors from around-the-world …
• France: Foie Gras-and-Caviar.
• USA: Chicken Fried Steak, Chocolate Garlic, Chunky Bacon, Mushroom-Pecan.
• Venezuela: Fried Pork Rind, Sauerkraut Sherbet, Spaghetti Bolognaise, Tuna-and-Seaweed with Fruit..
• Japan: Chicken Wing, Collagen Lemon, Dracula Cool Garlic Mint, Lettuce-and-Potato, Octopus, Ox Tongue, Persimmon, Raw Horseflesh, Squid Gut, Wasabi, Whale.
THIS SUMMER TV contestants are bragging “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” (ABC), but could anyone survive a Japanese ice cream parlor?

Wound a little freakin’ tight these days? A few low-cost suggestions on how to reduce stress, thanks to McAuley Counseling Services …
• Meet a friend for a walk.
• Get on the floor and play with your kids.
• Blow bubbles.
• Draw chalk art on the sidewalk.
• Relax in a bath with candles and a novel.
• Live in the present.
• Smile.
(Nope, no mention of beer.)
– “Springfield News-Leader”

Attention hipsters and design-obsessed people! You’ve got a cute dog and great clothes to walk your dog in, but are you going to use a regular ol’ plastic bag to pick up its poo-poo? No, of course not. You’ll want … nay need … some awesomely stylish dog-doo bags by German designers Nina Dautzenberg & Andrea Gadesmann of Junge Schactel. One version of the bag is helpfully boldly labeled with the S-word.

• About 60% of all weddings in Canada take place during the summer months. According to Statistics Canada, AUGUST is the most popular for marriage, when 21% wed. JANUARY is the least popular month, with 2.6%.
– “Toronto Star”
• The people most often killed during bank robberies are …. the robbers.
– “Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader”


1959 [49] Joe Elliott, Sheffield UK, classic rock singer (Def Leppard-“Promises”, “Love Bites”)

1960 [48] Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour), Roosevelt NY, trendsetting rapper (Public Enemy-“Shut ‘Em Down”, “Fight the Power”)

1964 [44] Adam Duritz, Baltimore MD, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Big Yellow Taxi”)

1965 [43] Sam Mendes, Reading UK, movie producer/director (“Road to Perdition”, Oscar-“American Beauty”)/wed actress Kate Winslet in 2003

1977 [31] Marc Denis, Montréal QC, NHL goaltender (Montréal Canadiens, ex-Tampa Bay Lightning)

Movie actor Peter O’Toole (“Lawrence of Arabia”) is 76; Classic rock keyboardist Garth Hudson (The Band) is 71; Movie director Wes Craven (“Scream”) is 69; TV actress Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”) is 44; Film director-screenwriter Kevin Smith (“Clerks”) is 38.

Legendary crooner Tony Bennett (“I Left My Heart in San Francisco”) is 82; Movie-TV actor Martin Sheen (“The West Wing”) is 68; Domestic maven Martha Stewart (“Martha Stewart Living”) is 67; Rock singer-guitarist James Hetfield (Metallica) is 45; Alt-rock singer-guitarist Ed Roland (Collective Soul) is 45; Country singer-keyboardist Dean Sams (Lonestar) is 42; TV actress Brigid Brannagh (“Army Wives”) is 36; NFL QB Tom Brady (New England Patriots) is 31; TV actress Evangeline Lilly (“Lost”) is 29.

• “August”, originally the 6th month of the Roman year which was called Sextilis. In the year 8 BC, Emperor Augustus Caesar persuaded the Senate to change the month’s name to ‘Augustus’ in his honor. If it weren’t for him, TODAY would be the 1st of Sextilis!
• “Girlfriends Day”, either some girl’s greedy grab at gifts from her guy, or perhaps a day for ‘the girls’ to hang out and share woman-to-woman time?
• “Respect for Parents Day”. So what’s the best way to gain respect … setting an example or creating fear?
• “Rounds Resounding Day”, a day to sing rounds. Altogether now, “Row, row, row …”

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”. Who cares why? Chow down!
• “Mustard Day”, honoring the ‘condiment of kings’ and sponsored by the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum, home of the world’s largest collection of mustard memorabilia
PHONER: 800.438.6878 (Barry Levenson, Mount Horeb WI)
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction” in Canton OH. This year’s inductees include Fred Dean, Darrell Green, Art Monk, Emmitt Thomas, Andre Tippett, and Gary Zimmerman.

• “Chocolate Fest”, the 24th annual in the resort town of St. Stephen NB through AUGUST 9th, highlighted by a daily ‘choctail’ hour, chocolate factory tours, and several chocolate-eating competitions. St Stephen is purportedly where the ‘chocolate bar’ was invented.
• “Sisters’ Day”, celebrated annually on the 1st SUNDAY in AUGUST to show appreciation to female siblings. A good excuse to ask listeners the worst dirty tricks pulled on them by sisters.
• “US National Park Day”, an annual observance of the National Park Service.
• “Watermelon Day”, celebrating the Summer treat that’s part of the pumpkin, squash & gourd family. Watermelons originated in Africa, then spread to Egypt, India, China, and eventually around-the-world.

1981 [27] MTV debuts at 12:01 am (1st video – The Buggles’ “Video Killed The Radio Star”)

1995 [13] “Gangsta’s Paradise” is released by one-hit-wonder Coolio (he’s turning 45 today)

1933 [75] ‘Skippy Peanut Butter’ is 1st marketed

1964 [44] 1st ‘GI Joe’ action figure marketed for $4 (name inspired by 1945 Robert Mitchum movie “The Story of GI Joe”)  FACTOID: Hasbro invents the term ‘Action Figure’ because it’s thought boys won’t play with a ‘doll’.

1957 [51] Canadian Glen Gorbous (Rosedale AB) throws a baseball a record 445-ft, 10-ins (136 m) while playing with the St Louis Cardinals’ Triple A team, still the longest throw ever recorded

[Mon] Holiday in 7 provinces & NWT (BC Day, Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc)
[Mon] 2008 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles CA)
[Tues] Jordin Sparks-Jesse McCartney tour begins (Sacramento CA)
[Tues] 25th National Night Out
[Wed] Fresh Breath Day
[Wed] Pamper Yourself Day
[Wed] “Pineapple Express” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Royal St John’s Regatta (Quidi Vidi Lake NL)
This Week Is … Simplify Your Life Week
This Month Is … Learn Japanese Month


• You no longer have a junk drawer … it’s now a junk room.
• You’re still living by your granny’s advice, “There might be another Depression one day and you don’t want to be left wanting.”
• There are newspapers stacked in the basement featuring “Ann Landers” advice columns … when she had a beehive.
• You’ve had to rent a mini-storage unit to house your exciting collection of empty mayo jars.
• You have every ticket stub from every movie you’ve ever been to … just in case.
• You still have hopes those “Mork & Mindy” trading cards will be worth something someday.
• You’ve gone from a 2-car garage to a ‘no-car’ garage.

Suppose that there were no hypothetical situations …

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Usher – “Love In This Club”
4. Jordin Sparks f/Chris Brown – “No Air”
3. Ne-Yo – “Closer”
2. Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl”
1. Rihanna – “Take a Bow”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

You’re asked to give a eulogy for an uncle who was a real SOB. Would you do it?

Today’s Question: Women do THIS twice as much when they are pregnant.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dream.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Printer Friendly Version