Tuesday, August 17, 2004        Edition: #2846
Ahhhhhhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Speculation is Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt are preparing to adopt a baby since he’s supervised the construction of a nursery but no pregnancy has been announced . . . As the Backstreet Boys prepare to kick off a comeback tour THIS FALL, they’re pitching a reality TV show called “Bodyguard”, which would document their search for a new security expert . . . Rocker Dave Navarro is writing a tell-all book to be titled “Don’t Try This at Home”, due to be published in OCTOBER, described as ‘a documentary of Hollywood and an exercise in exhibitionism’ (referring to wife Carmen Electra?) . . . Pam Anderson is said to be furious that her ex-, Tommy Lee, is stealing her thunder by releasing his autobiography “Tommyland” at the same time as her new ‘novel’ (relax hon’, they’ll both be in the markdown bin by the end of the year) . . .  Keanu Reeves has finally proposed to his longtime girlfriend Autumn Macintosh according to friends (the wedding is expected to take place later THIS YEAR) . . . Former US first lady Nancy Reagan’s reps have fired off a cease-and-desist letter after PETA proposed using late president Ronald Reagan’s picture in an ad campaign promoting vegetarianism as a way to prevent Alzheimer’s . . . Things are looking up for Scientology in its competition with Kabbalah for celebrities as Brandy is now admitting she’s taking Scientology courses but insists she hasn’t joined up – yet . . . An acquaintance of late funkster Rick James says he was high for an entire week prior to his death . . . And what date do you want in the bust-up pool for the annulment of the Nicky Hilton marriage?

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jessica & Ashlee Simpson – They’ve recorded a duet for Jessica’s upcoming holiday season CD.
• Celine Dion – Caesars Entertainment is currently negotiating to extend her contract and keep her as the headliner at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace until at least 2007.
• Julie Roberts – She’s scheduled to appear on the “Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon” Labor Day weekend.
• Cher – She’s become the honorary chair for Habitat for Humanity’s ‘Raise the Roof’ program, which will build homes for the needy in the name of a selected artist. Cher’s crew surprised her by building a house in her name in Minneapolis.
• Britney Spears – Her next CD, “Greatest Hits: My Prerogative”, goes on sale NOVEMBER 16th. It’ll be a greatest-hits package that includes a cover of Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative”.
• Nelly – He has new music coming NEXT MONTH that features several special guests including country star Tim McGraw, whom he met at a celebrity basketball game.
• Avril Lavigne – She tells “Blender” magazine her least favorite song is Clay Aiken’s “Invisible”, which she says sounds like ‘a weird old church song’.
• Catherine Britt – The “Upside of Being Down” singer from Australia was so surprised to be introduced from the stage by Elton John during one of his Vegas shows, she started crying.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Taking Lives” (Crime Thriller – DVD/VHS): Angelina Jolie plays an unconventional FBI profiler who’s called in to help Montréal detectives find a serial killer. Co-stars Olivier Martinez & Ethan Hawke, who romanced 22-year-old Canadian model Jen Perzow during filming, leading to his split with wife Uma Thurman. Shot in Montréal & Québec City.
• “Connie & Carla” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Nia Vardalos & Toni Collette play a song and dance duo who go into hiding after witnessing a crime, posing as female impersonators in an LA drag club. Hopes were high for Nia Vardalos’ follow-up to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. It made a whopping $369 million – but this one tanked at just $8 million.
• “New York Minute” (Teen Comedy – DVD/VHS): The Olsen twins stretch their acting chops by playing a pair of 17-year-old sisters on separate missions during a day in NYC – one wants to try out for an overseas college program, the other wants to meet her favorite punk rockers (played by Simple Plan). A series of mishaps throws their day into chaos. The movie’s opening weekend earned just under $6 million – the lowest ever for a film showing in 3,000 or more theaters.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 75% of men say that a woman’s personality is more important than her looks. (34% are able to say this with a straight face.)
• 56% of us look for a swimming pool when choosing hotel/motel accommodations. (2% look for an hourly rate.)
• 15% of us would like to reunite with a lost love. (The reason that ‘find your high school classmates’ Website is still alive.)
• 12% of men get out of bed in the middle of the night to answer a call from nature. (8% to go home.)

SPIKE STORY:
A recent medical study suggests that high-heeled shoes do less damage to women’s knees than flat shoes. Although both types of shoes cause inward twisting pressure on knee joints, the study shows wide-heeled shoes increase it by 26% while stiletto heels exert a 22% increase. (So it’s official, high heels are good for you … a bunch of male scientists say so.)
– “The Lancet”

MONKEYING AROUND:
Thailand’s Safari World is luring thrill-seekers with kickboxing matches involving – orangutans. The fights involve orangutans in boxing gloves and shorts, bikini-clad chimps who prance about with number cards for each round, and the theme music from “Rocky” to get everyone in the mood. Safari World’s owners say the fights are choreographed and animals are never harmed but the International Primate Protection League claims the spectacle makes a mockery of the animals and dooms them to early death. (Either way, it looks like Mike Tyson now has hope of further employment.)
– Ananova

WORK IS FOR SUCKERS:
A French economist faces a disciplinary hearing with her employer after publishing a book called “Bonjour Paresse” (‘Hello Laziness’), a treatise about the art of doing the least work possible for your employer. Author Corinne Maier offers advice for what she calls ‘neo-slaves of middle management’ and the ‘damned of the service industry’. Her book includes the chapter titles: “The Morons Who Are Sitting Next To You”, “Business Culture, My Arse”, and “Why You Can’t Lose By Resigning”. The book promises to teach you how to take advantage of the system by doing as little work as possible and promises that your laziness will pay off because the most ineffective people are promoted to senior positions where they can do the least damage. (Damn, the truth hurts, don’t it?)
– BBC World News

THE SECURITY SHIRT:
Japan has suffered a string of gruesome and violent crimes in recent months and the latest stats show that 2003 was a record year for crime, up a whopping 23.4% from the previous year. That’s perhaps why an enterprising company has developed an innovative new security product – stab-resistant clothing. The coats and sweatshirts look ordinary but are made from fiberglass and a material called ‘Specter’ which is also found in bulletproof vests. The tops cost around $500 in kids’ sizes and over $800 for adults. (After forking over all that cash, someone will club you over the head.)
– “Asian Pacific Post”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• Geana & Kurt Morris of Glenolden, Pennsylvania just became parents to quadruplets that are actually – 2 sets of identical twins. The odds of that happening are estimated at 1 in a million. (She have a duplex womb or what?)
• An Aussie recently called cops to his house – to report his marijuana plants had been swiped!
The man said thieves stole his plants after smashing a window in his house. Police later decided they couldn’t charge the man because the only potential evidence in the case was gone. (He must have been smoking something.)
• A UK drug dealer is facing 30 months in the slammer after cops received tips he was walking around his hometown wearing a T-shirt reading, “I am a dealer”.  After investigating, they found some $10,000 worth of crack, cocaine and heroin hidden in his bedroom. (His other T-shirt says, “I’m not with stupid … I AM stupid!”)
• In OCTOBER, China will host the world’s first “Miss Plastic Surgery Pageant”, a beauty contest specifically for those who’ve gone under the cosmetic surgeon’s knife. (If it has to do with number of times … Joan Rivers’ll win!) 

BS AMAZING FACT:
Koala fingerprints are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans. Luckily for CSIs, koalas are sleepy creatures who don’t tend to commit many crimes.
– “Popbitch”

THE BULL SHEET 08.17.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [61] Robert De Niro, NYC, movie actor (Oscars-“Godfather 2″, “Raging Bull”)  COMING UP: The “Meet the Parents” sequel “Meet the Fockers”, opening DECEMBER 22nd.  FACTOID: At the “Venice Film Festival” NEXT MONTH, he’ll be awarded honorary Italian citizenship.

1958 [46] Belinda Carlisle (Kurczeski), Hollywood CA, classic rock singer (“Mad About You”, w/The GoGos–“We Got the Beat”, “Our Lips Are Sealed”)

1960 [44] Sean Penn, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (Oscar-“Mystic River”, “Dead Man Walking”)/Mr Robin Wright since 1996/ex-Mr Madonna 1985-89

1964 [42] Colin James (Munn), Regina SK, rock/blues singer/guitarist (& the Little Big Band-“I Just Came Back”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Thriftshop Day”, or as [co-host] refers to it – ‘Get a New Wardrobe Day’.

WEDNESDAY is “Bad Poetry Day”, a day to celebrate really rotten rhyme. You can find lots of it in the lyrics to popular music. Pick some lyrics from this Website and read it out as poetry …
NET: http://lyrics.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [14] 1st edition of “The Directory of Elvis Impersonators” is released

1994 [10] Actor David Caruso quits “NYPD Blue” to pursue a movie career – which bombs big time (eventually returns to the small screen to star in “CSI: Miami”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984 [20] During first concert of his “Breaking Hearts Tour”, Elton John announces he’s retiring from touring (apparently he changed his mind)

5 YEARS AGO . . .
1999 President Bill Clinton admits having a relationship with intern Monica Lewinsky

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1912 [92] 1st ‘drive across Canada’ (Thomas Wilby zips from Halifax to Victoria in just 52 days!)

1960 [44] 1st ‘birth control pill’ hits the market (‘Enovid 10′)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] National Radio Day
[Sat] Homeless Animals Day
[Sun] Tooth Fairy Day
This Week Is . . . Buckle Up Week
This Month Is . . . Water Quality Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
YE OLDE BS SAYINGS:

• Where did the phrase ‘three sheets to the wind’ come from? Now meaning a very drunk person, the phrase originally came from sailing, not from the sails but from the chains that were once used to regulate the angle of the sails. These chains were called ‘sheets’, and when the sheets were loose, the boat would become unstable and tipsy.
• How did the use of the word ‘lush’ for a drunkard originate? From Dr Thomas Lushington (1590 – 1661), who was an English chaplain who liked his liquor.
• Where did the word ‘crap’ come from? It derives from the first flush lavatory, Crapper’s Valveless Water Waste Preventor, developed in 1837 by English sanitary engineer Thomas Crapper.
• How did the expression to ‘make a bed’ originate? The ancient Romans constructed their beds by placing straw into a cloth sack. The straw had to be emptied every night to dry, therefore the beds had to be re-made every night.

BS OLYMPIC TRIVIA:
India, the world’s 2nd-most populous country, has only won Olympic gold in a single event – field hockey. All 8 golds belong to their men’s hockey team, which won 6 in-a-row at the height of their prowess in the first half of the 20th century.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the absolute worst summer job you ever had?
• Who did you know BEFORE they became famous?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Take my advice … I’m not using it.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women can do THIS better than men, thanks to the fact they have the gene ‘OPN-1LW’.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Distinguish different shades of red.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only the mediocre are always at their best.


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