Thursday, March 6, 2008        Edition: #3726
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

18-year-old ‘Harry Potter’ actor Daniel Radcliffe, now shooting “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows” in England, has been assigned 4 ex-SAS special forces bodyguards after receiving death threats (couldn’t he just use some ol’ hocus-pocus on them?) . . . TV actress-turned-weight-loss spokesperson Valerie Bertinelli tells “Ladies Home Journal” her ex-hubby, rocker Eddie Van Halen, once ended her brief bout of anorexia by forcing her to eat hot dogs (okay porky, you can stop now) . . . Rumor has it 40-year-old ‘James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig will wed his film producer-girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell as soon as he wraps filming on the next ‘007′ movie “Quantum Of Solace” (doesn’t ‘Satsuki Mitchell‘ sound like a ‘Bond’ villain?) . . . After appearing as a ‘guest judge’ on the “Project Runway” finalé LAST NIGHT (Bravo), word has surfaced that Victoria Beckham is now in talks to host her own fashion series for FOX-TV (‘Project Pouty’?) . . . The much-hyped reality show featuring Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina & teenage sister Ali now has a name and a time slot – “Living Lohan” will debut THIS SUMMER on E! . . . The Food Network has fired culinary star Robert Irvine after learning the “Dinner: Impossible” host padded his résumé by falsely claiming to have prepared meals for various US presidents and Britain’s royal family (turns out his biggest claim to fame is he once made a snack for his mother-in-law) . . . And a rep for Ashlee Simpson denies the 23-year-old wannabe singer was drunk during a Washington DC radio interview TUESDAY morning, insisting she had trouble speaking and slurred words because ‘she was just tired’ (or maybe impersonating Paula Abdul?).

• Bjork – Her appearance at the big “EXIT Festival” in Serbia THIS SUMMER has been canceled after organizers became concerned about reaction to her political views. She’s caused a furor by dedicating her song “Declare Independence” to Kosovo and Tibet in recent concerts.
• Dolly Parton – The country icon says she’s on a mission to pile on pounds because she wants to disprove rumors that suggest she’s suffering from an eating disorder. (She also needs counter-balance so she doesn’t keep falling forward.)
• Good Charlotte – Since girlfriend Nicole Richie gave birth to their baby daughter, Harlow, frontman Joel Madden is changing his tune … literally. He says from now on he’ll be more careful about the lyrics he writes, and encourages peers to also think about what they’re telling young fans. (Ah, fatherhood!)
• Janet Jackson – The 41-year-old is said to be considering freezing her eggs … so she never grows too old to become a mommy. (Thaw me out a daughter, will ya?)
• Josh Turner – The “Firecracker” country star has canceled all immediate commitments in order to recover from a chronic sinus infection he acquired during a recent bout with the flu. He’ll return to the road with Carrie Underwood for a MARCH 18 concert in Bethlehem PA.
• Natasha Bedingfield – She’s set to shoot a guest appearance on long-running kids’ TV show “Sesame Street”. (We’re betting is has something to do with “These words, these words …”)
• Rihanna – THIS WEEK security guards prevented fans from bringing their umbrellas (“ella … ella … ella”) into her concert in Aberdeen, Scotland in order to prevent accidental injuries. (Why, someone could poke out an eye!)

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – No more singing; it’s judgment day. 2 more guys & 2 more girls bite the mic and the top 12 finalists are revealed.
• Geneva Motor Show – A ‘zero-emission’ sports car makes its debut at the premier Swiss auto exhibition. The hydrogen-powered ‘Lifecar’ has a top speed of 100 mph, does 0-60 in about 7 seconds, and gets 250 miles out of a tank of hydrogen, leaving only water vapor in its wake. (As well as envious Prius drivers.)
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Simple Plan performs music from their new self-titled album.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC): Grammy-winning jazzman Herbie Hancock performs.
A BS selection of movies  in the making …
• “Crazy On the Outside” – Comedic actor Tim Allen will direct his first movie as well as star in this comedy about an ex-convict who struggles to adapt to life on the outside after being released from prison. Ray Liotta, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Kelsey Grammar are reportedly in talks to join the project.
• “Spread” – Ashton Kutcher will play a serial womanizer and “Men In Trees” actress Anne Heche has signed on to play his jilted lover after Jennifer Jason Leigh abruptly quit (rumor has it she’s pregnant). The romantic comedy is currently shooting in Los Angeles with an eye toward a 2009 release.
• Untitled Ronald Reagan Film – British director Ridley Scott has announced he’ll make a historical drama about the former US president’s relationship with ex-Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. It will focus on the 1988 arms control summit that paved the way for the end of the Cold War. As yet, there’s no cast … not even a script!

Few people are watching clips of TV shows and/or other videos on cellphones, according to a new report from research firm Diffusion Group. The study also notes that only about 10% of adults who have PCs capable of downloading TV shows & movies actually have done so, and only 1% use any of the various downloading services frequently. Bottom line: research keeps verifying that there’s a lack of interest among consumers in viewing video on phones. (Especially among those with bifocals.)
– “New York Times”

According to a new Zogby-We Media poll, fully 48% of people now say the Internet is their ‘primary source’ for news, up from 20% just a year ago. The figure is even higher among the 18-to-29 demographic … 55%. Survey dissenters note, however, that the ‘Net is most often only a platform for news as the content is still researched and reported by newspapers, radio and TV. (Makes you realize how important it is to get your local news up on your station website though.)

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 72% of single guys say they love dating a woman in Winter because of the cozy sweater.
• 50% of women say their car is more reliable than their man. (And goes more than 5 minutes.)
• 33% of single women admit they have a booty-call number on their phone for a no-strings-attached ‘relationship’. (For about an hour-and-a-half.)
• 30% of kindergarten kids in Hong Kong believe their parents’ salary is paid by bank machines. (Aw, isn’t that coot?)
• 25% of North Americans say they would donate a kidney. (But only from a chicken.)
• 20% of adults admit they struggle with mental arithmetic and can’t even calculate the square root of 64. (It’s 8, if you’re wondering … isn’t it?)

Britain’s Royal National Institute for Deaf People is warning that prolonged exposure to music over 85 decibels in concerts & clubs can lead to long-term hearing damage. In fact, a recent poll finds that fully 90% of young people already have some measure of damage, often a buzzing or slight ringing in the ears. The solution, says the RNID, is wearing earplugs and in order to overcome their nerdy image they’ve launched a competition for students to design trendy alternatives. Those with the best concepts will win work placement with leading design firms. (A lot of the problem is CAUSED by earplugs … the ones you plug into your MP3 player, no?)

More bad news for smokers – a 30-year study carried out by Tufts University has found that chain smokers are twice as likely to lose their teeth as non-smokers. The research finds that smokers lose an average of 2.9 teeth after 10 years of smoking a pack-a-day, as compared to non-smokers who lose an average of 1.3 teeth in a decade.

Here’s a good argument starter, a ranking of the sultriest music vid’s ever made …
5. Jennifer Lopez, “I’m Glad” (2003)
4. Billy Idol, “Cradle of Love” (1991)
3. Shakira, “La Tortura” (2005)
2. Madonna, “Justify My Love” (1990)
1. Chris Isaak, “Wicked Game” (1989)
– “Starpulse”

Now that Sony’s Blu-ray has won the battle to become the definitive format for hi-def DVD players, retailers are having clearance sales on former competitor, Toshiba’s HD-DVD. Prices on soon-to-be obsolete HD-DVD players are being slashed, as are movies in the format. US retailer Circuit City, for instance, is offering 2 free titles for every 3 purchased. Cheap is good. But the bad news is, you’ll be stuck with equipment and discs that are destined to become archaic within weeks.
– “Video Business”

25-year-old Neil Harbisson suffers from ‘achromatopsia’, complete color blindness, and can only recognize black & white shades. Yet the young British artist is able to paint with a full palette of 360 colors thanks to a new gizmo called the ‘Eyeborg’. The device recognizes the way different colors reflect light, then translates them into different frequencies, allowing Harbisson to ‘hear’ colors as different sounds.
– “Facts & Arguments”

Dog theft for ransom is the fastest-growing crime in the UK.


1923 [85] Ed McMahon, Detroit MI, ex-TV personality (“Star Search” 1983-2003, “Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” 1962-92)

1946 [62] David Gilmour, Cambridge UK, classic rock singer/guitarist (Pink Floyd-“Wish You Were Here”, “Another Brick in the Wall”)

1947 [61] Rob Reiner, Bronx NY, movie producer/director (“Ghosts of Mississippi”, “A Few Good Men”)/ex-TV actor (“All in the Family” 1971-78)

1959 [49] Tom Arnold, Ottumwa IA, movie actor (“Soul Plane”, “True Lies”)/TV personality (“Best Damn Sports Show Period” 2004, “Roseanne” 1989-93)

1968 [40] Moira Kelly, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Karen Roe’ on “One Tree Hill” since 2003)

1968 [40] Connie Britton, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Tami Taylor‘ on “Friday Night Lights” since 2006)

1972 [36] Shaquille O’Neal, Newark NJ, 7′-1”, 325-lb NBA center with a size 22 shoe (Phoenix Suns, ex-Miami Heat)

1979 [29] Erik Bedard, Navan ON, MLB starting pitcher (Seattle Mariners, ex-Baltimore Orioles)

• “Celebrate Your Name Week” continues, when we’re encouraged to learn the meaning of our names and take pride in them. Here’s a site offering instant background on thousands …

• “Dentist’s Day”, honoring the professionals who help us maintain a big, toothy smile.

• “Frozen Food Day”, commemorating the first ‘Individually Packaged Frozen Foods’, created by Clarence Birdseye in Springfield MA 78 years ago (1930). He got the idea after seeing  Canadians thawing and eating naturally frozen fish.

• “Procrastination Week”, as proclaimed by the ‘Procrastinators Club of America’ to promote the benefits of putting off until tomorrow everything you can.

1997 [11] Queen Elizabeth’s website goes online (no naked downloads, thank gawd!)

2007 [01] Arcade Fire releases hit album “Neon Bible”

1834 [174] City of Toronto is incorporated, with William Lyon Mackenzie as 1st mayor

1899 [109] 1st ‘Aspirin’ patented by Felix Hoffmann

1912 [96] 1st ‘Oreo’ cookie sold, and over 360 billion have sold since (do you eat the middle first?)

1982 [26] Susan Birmingham sets world record for ‘Loudest Human Shout’ at 120 decibels (an intensity on par with sitting in the front row at a rock concert)

1982 [26] ‘Most Points Scored’ by 2 NBA teams as San Antonio beats Milwaukee 171-166 in  triple overtime (total points – 337!)

2007 [01] Mega Millions lottery sets a new world record for ‘Highest Jackpot Ever Offered’ at $390 million

[Fri] Canadian Music Industry Hall of Fame Induction
[Fri] Canadian Radio Music Awards (Toronto)
[Fri-Mar 16] South By South West Festival (Austin TX)
[Fri] Stop Bad Service Day
[Fri] Employee Appreciation Day
[Sat] International Women’s Day
[Sat] Aunts’ Day
[Sat-Sun] “Canadian Idol” auditions (Ottawa)
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time begins
[Mon] 2008 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Indiction (NYC)
[Mon] Commonwealth Day
This Week Is … Universal Women’s Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month


The Australian dialect seems strange enough, but when you add in some Down Under slang words, it sounds right wonky! A few examples …
• If something is good: “That’s gun!” / “That’s dardy!” / “That’s wick!” / “That’s fully sick!” / “Onya” (short for ‘good on you’)
• If something is bad: “That’s dodgy!” / “That’s munted!” / “That’s feral!”
• If someone is stupid: “He has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock!”
• Affectionate names: “Bestie” / “Ma nizzle”
• To console someone: “Ease up, Turbo. Build a bridge, and get over it.”
– “Sunday Mail”

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

• Human birth control pills work on gorillas. (True.)
• A person who is unable to smell is suffering from what’s called ‘nose deafness’. (BS. It’s called ‘anosmia’.)
• The martial art ‘Tae Kwon Do’ originated in Japan. (BS. Korea.)
• No alcohol beverage can be over 190% proof or 95% alcohol. (True. At any higher proof, it would draw moisture from the air and self-dilute.)
• A gathering of ravens is called a ‘menagerie’. (BS. It’s known as an ‘unkindness’. Who knows why?)
• The only word in the English language with 3 consecutive double letters is ‘bookkeeper’. (True)

Do celebrities charged with drug abuse or DUI get a light touch in courts? (That’s what a new UN report claims, suggesting the leniency stars get sends the wrong message to young people and causes us to become cynical about drug enforcement. What do you think, Pete Doherty?)

Today’s Question: At what age do most people now say men are ‘old’?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: 70.

Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.

“Bull Sheet” Subscribers Are Nominated for 27 “Canadian Music Week” Broadcast Awards. Congratulations!

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