March 1, 2011

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011        Edition: #4452
This is Where March Comes In Like a Bull!

“NY Post” reports that out-of-work actor Charlie Sheen is planning a massive $320-million lawsuit against “Two-and-a-Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre, Warner Bros, and CBS-TV, claiming ‘mental anguish’ over the axing of the remainder of this season (they could countersue for the same reason) . . . Meantime, an independent lab contracted by has administered blood & urine drug screening on Sheen and he’s tested negative for all illegal substances (could it be he’s just looney?) . . . Sources connected with the Mel Gibson criminal investigation tell that he’s about to be charged with domestic violence but his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, will NOT be charged with extortion (prosecutors are hoping to settle all the charges in the case by 2056) . . . Oscar-winning actor Colin Firth says he’s baffled by a plan to release a new family-friendly version of “The King’s Speech” alongside the existing R-rated version, insisting the film should not be changed as the swearwords included aren’t used in a ‘vicious’ way (Non-quote: “This idea s-s-s-s-s-sucks”). . .  “Glee” star Dianna Agron is apparently already over her recent split from her “I Am Number Four” co-star, Alex Pettyfer, as she’s been spotted flirting & swapping phone numbers with actor Chris Evans (“Captain America: The First Avenger”, opening in July) . . . And “Sports Illustrated” 2011 ‘Swimsuit Issue’ cover-girl Irina Shayk has become engaged to pretty-boy soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo (whoa, are there going to be fights over mirror time in this house!).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The male semifinalists perform in hope of advancing to the next round.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Taio Cruz (“The Rokstarr Collection”).
• Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo (Houston TX) – Tonight the annual 20-day festival’s concert series kicks off with Clay Walker. Also coming up: Trace Adkins (Mar 2), Sugarland (Mar 3), Billy Currington (Mar 5), Tim McGraw (Mar 7), Martina McBride (Mar 9), Keith Urban (Mar 10); and Lady Antebellum (Mar 11).
• “In Performance At the White House” (PBS) – Jamie Foxx hosts as the Motown record label celebrates 50 years. Performers include: Gloriana, John Legend, Jordin Sparks, Natasha Bedingfield, Seal, Sheryl Crow, and Smokey Robinson.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Staind frontman Aaron Lewis performs “Country Boy” from his new album “Town Line”, released today.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Freddie Gibbs (“A Cold Day in Hell”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – A performance by the Broadway cast of “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Former Blues Traveler frontman John Popper (& The Duskray Troubadours).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Motown legend Smokey Robinson.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Cake (“Showroom of Compassion”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Harry Connick Jr (“Your Songs”).

• Adele – The Brit pop singer (“Rolling In the Deep”) says she’s just signed up for eHarmony, hoping she can find a relationship via online dating.
• Beady Eye – Today Liam Gallagher’s post-Oasis band releases its debut album entitled “Different Gear, Still Speeding”.
• Carrie Underwood – Her first major movie, “Soul Surfer”, premieres April 8th. She plays a church youth leader in the real-life story of a teen surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack.
• Chris Brown – He’s dyed his hair blond, perhaps trying to stir up some buzz for his new album “FAME”, out March 18th.
• Little Big Town – Tonight they’ll be on stage as Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry kicks off its first Tuesday night show of the 2011 season. Also appearing: Randy Rogers Band.
• Luke Bryan – Today he releases his 3rd Spring Break-themed EP, “It’s A Shore Thing”.
• Miranda Lambert – She’s canceled her Australian tour opening for Alan Jackson. A respiratory illness is being blamed. She was slated to start the tour this Friday in Melbourne.

• “Burlesque” ( PG-13 Musical Comedy ): Christina Aguilera plays a small-town girl who ventures to LA and finds her place in a neo-burlesque nightclub run by a former dancer, played by Cher. Co-stars Eric Dane (“Grey’s Anatomy”); singer/dancer Julianne Hough.
• “Faster” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Dwayne Johnson plays an ex-con who sets out to avenge his brother’s death after they were double-crossed during a heist. Billy Bob Thornton plays the veteran cop who’s on his tail.
• “Love & Other Drugs” ( R-Rated Romantic Comedy ): Jake Gyllenhaal & Anne Hathaway star in this satire about a charming pharmaceutical sales rep and his odd relationship with the free-spirited young woman he falls for.
• “127 Hours” ( R-Rated Adventure Drama ): James Franco plays a mountain climber who becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone in Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive. Directed by Danny Boyle (“Slumdog Millionaire”).
• Also released today: “Dinosaurs: Giants of Patagonia” (Documentary); “Elmo’s World: Penguins & Animal Friends (Family); “Genius Within: The Inner Life of Glenn Gould” (Music Documentary); “Pioneers of Television: Season 2” (Documentary); “Robert Kennedy & His Times” (TV Drama); “Scooby-Doo! Curse Of the Lake Monster” (Family); “Thomas & Friends: Pop Goes Thomas” (Family); and “Ultimate Wave: Tahiti” (Documentary).

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 90% of our co-workers have left work early at least once in the past month.
• 72% of female Facebook users have looked up their partner’s exes.
• 69% of women say they ‘enjoy’ cleaning their home.
• 60% of us have used a cellphone in a restroom.
• 38% of users have ignored a Facebook request from their parents.
• 33% of us say drinking booze makes us feel ‘more attractive’.

In his new book, “Why We Get Fat”, science writer Gary Taubes says that the key to weight-loss is no great mystery … simply cut the carbs and the weight will come off. But haven’t we heard this before? Low-carb weight-loss plans like Atkins and South Beach were all the rage in the early 2000s, but have since gone the way of many fad diets. Taubes argues that foods rich in carbohydrates are the main cause of the current obesity epidemic. While some medical experts think cutting carbs can be unhealthy, Taubes says that, according to his research, everyone’s diet should be low in breads, grains, and even fruits. (The price of meat’s about to go up.)
– “Best Health”

The ad agency DDB Auckland has altered benches to press an advertisement for Superette, a New Zealand clothing chain, into the bare legs of people who sit on them. They read ‘Short shorts on sale Superette’. Indented plates have been installed on bus stop, mall, and park benches, so that when people sit, the message is imprinted on their thighs. So as well as having branded seats, a veritable army of free media has been created, with thousands of temporary imprints that last up to an hour. (Talk about guerilla marketing!)

While we tend to think of other animals as smelling more unpleasantly than us, studies on both birds and other mammals reveal that significantly fewer organic compounds emanate odors from the skin of non-humans. In fact, the pungent body odor from sweaty adult human skin is unique in the animal kingdom. Humans are particularly smelly because odors are released from nearly every part of our bodies, plus other species living on us are simultaneously emitting smells as well. (Would you rather stick your head in a doghouse or a gym bag?)
– “Discovery News”

• According to sleep research, children sleep most soundly in the month of March.
• 15-year-old Jennifer Sharpe of Dearborn MI sold 17,328 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in 2008. Her efforts helped to pay for nearly two-thirds of her troop’s 10-day trip to Europe.


1944 [67] Roger Daltrey, London UK, classic rock singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [theme from “CSI”], “Won’t Get Fooled Again” [“CSI: Miami”], “Baba O’Riley” [“CSI: NY”])

1954 [57] Ron Howard, Duncan OK, movie director (“Frost/Nixon”, Oscar-“A Beautiful Mind”)/movie & TV producer (“Arrested Development”)/former TV actor ( ‘Ritchie’-“Happy Days” 1974-84, ‘Opie’-“Andy Griffith Show” 1960-68)

1967 [44] George Eads, Fort Worth TX, TV actor (‘Nick Stokes’ on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” since 2000)

1969 [42] Javier Bardem, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, Spain, movie actor (2011 Academy Award nomination-“Biutiful”, 2008 Oscar-“No Country for Old Men”)

1973 [38] Ryan Peake, Brooks AB, rock guitarist (Nickelback-“Photograph”, “How You Remind Me”)

1978 [33] Jensen Ackles, Dallas TX, TV actor (‘Dean Winchester‘ on “Supernatural” since 2005, “Smallville” 2004-05)

1987 [24] Ke$ha (Sebert), LA CA, pop singer (“We R Who We R”, “Tik Tok”)

1994 [17] Justin Bieber, Stratford ON, pop music phenomenon (“Never Say Never”, “Baby”)

• “Beer Day” in Iceland, celebrated each March 1st to mark the elimination of the 74-year prohibition of beer which lasted 1915-89. In the interest of international relations, bottoms up!

• “Chalanda Marz” in Switzerland, when they drive away Winter by ringing bells and cracking whips. Let’s try that and see if it works! [SFX].

• “Horse Protection Day”, to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect, homelessness, and slaughter of horses and to promote adoption events to help unwanted horses find a home.

• “Peace Corps Day”, observed annually on the first Tuesday in March, and this year commemorating the 50th anniversary of the worldwide volunteer organization’s founding by US President John F Kennedy on March 1, 1961.

• “Peanut Butter Lover’s Day”, a good day to have phone contestants try a tongue twister with a mouthful of smooth or crunchy.

• “Pig Day”, honoring the ‘most intelligent and useful of domesticated animals’. Studies show pigs are much smarter than horses (… but harder to ride).

• “Plan a Solo Vacation Day”, to inspire singles to spice up their lives by checking out solo travel options. What’s the biggest thing that would dissuade you from traveling on your own?

• “RRSP Deadline” if you want a deduction on your 2010 income tax. (So be sure to call your investment office this afternoon at about 4:55 pm … they’ll love you for it!)

• “St David’s Day” in Wales. The Welsh celebrate their patron saint by taking a leek … and wearing it.

1941 [70] 1st  commercial ‘FM radio station’ goes on-the-air (W47NV in Nashville TN, which must have had really complicated jingles)

1995 [16] Sheryl Crow wins ‘Record Of the Year’ at the “Grammy Awards” for “All I Wanna Do”

1937 [74] 1st ‘Automobile License Plates’ are issued, in Connecticut

1969 [42] Britain’s Prince Charles is officially invested ‘Prince of Wales’ (starting to seem like a lifetime appointment, isn’t it?)

[Wed] Dr Seuss Day
[Thurs] International Sister Cities Day
[Thurs] I Want You To Be Happy Day
[Fri] Employee Appreciation Day
[Fri] Grammar Day
[Fri] “The Adjustment Bureau”; “Beastly”; “Rango”; “Take Me Home Tonight” open in movie theaters

Cheerleading Week / Ghostwriters Week / Return the Borrowed Books Week / Universal Human Beings Week / Write a Letter of Appreciation Week / Yo-Yo & Skill Toys Week


• AC/DC: You only remove your socks to shower, and then only reluctantly.
• Allman Bros Band: You do not own a bong but can quickly make one from a piece of fruit or an abandoned toilet.
• Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting unventilated rooms.
• Canned Heat: You have a ‘Peeing Calvin’ bumper sticker on your Jeep.
• Cream: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe.
• Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you.
• Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.
• Grateful Dead: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes.
• Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.
• Led Zeppelin: The first 3 things you smoked were banana peels, catnip, and poppies, in that order.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair AND a sunburned scalp.
• Pink Floyd: You have a subset of friends whose sole purpose is to hold your hair while you vomit.
• Rolling Stones: You have bad teeth and are good in bed.
• Van Halen: You have good teeth and are bad in bed.
• ZZ Top: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral.
– Thanks to John Peck

41-year-old Kathy Spencer of Boxford MA has invented the concept of ‘extreme couponing’, using coupons, sales events, and loopholes in store rewards programs to get deep discounts. The goal, she says, is free. On “Good Morning America’’ she used her methods to get $267-worth of groceries … for a penny. How nice that she’s willing to tell us all how to do it …

Life is something to do when you can’t sleep.

Which celebrity’s body shape is ideal for real women? And for real men?

Today’s Question: Stats show more people end up in the emergency room after THIS physical activity than any other.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Yoga.

Conventional wisdom is to wisdom what junk food is to food.

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