Friday, May 16, 2008        Edition: #3777
Can You Believe This Sheet?

SUNDAY activist-actor Martin Sheen (ex-“The West Wing”) is honored by the University of Notre Dame with an award for humanitarian work at its Spring commencement (this is how schools convince celebs to speak at graduation ceremonies) . . . Actress Halle Berry is denying reports she’s engaged to her Canadian baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, even though she’s been spotted wearing a diamond on her ring finger (way to keep the dream alive for fan-boys, babe!) . . . Many are still wondering why Heidi & Spencer were absent from the “The Hills” season finalé after-party that aired live on MTV and inside sources are saying it’s because Lauren had them banned (as usual, the off-screen stuff’s better than the on) . . . Actor Dustin Hoffman has let it slip that his “Kung Fu Panda” co-star Angelina Jolie is due to pop her twin babes via Brad Pitt on AUGUST 19th (these people get a snootful of champagne in Cannes and start blabbing about everything) . . . Poor little actress Anne Heche claims she can no longer afford to pay nearly $15,000-a-month in child & spousal support because she’s unemployed since the cancellation of her TV show “Men In Trees” and, perhaps surprisingly, a judge has agreed and given her at least a temporary break (is this the first ‘deadbeat mom’?) . . . And producers of an off-Broadway show called “My First Time” are giving away free tickets to anyone who can prove they’re a virgin to a creepy hypnotist screening people in line (hey, it could be Roger Clemens).

• Death Cab For Cutie – TODAY Nick Harmer & Jason McGerr play against Xbox LIVE members in “Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare”. Their new album “Narrow Stairs” is on track to top the albums chart NEXT WEEK (97-year-old Neil Diamond can’t last long.)
• Garth Brooks – He’s the spokesman for TODAY’s “NASCAR Day”(annually on the 3rd FRIDAY in MAY), which raises money for children’s charities. The campaign began during the 50th running of the “Daytona 500” back in FEBRUARY.
• John Mayer – He’s been spotted taking rumored GF Jennifer Anniston’s dog for a walk. (What’s it been … like a week and he’s already whipped?)
• NERD – Their just-released new video for the track “Everyone Nose” features cameos from Lindsay Lohan and Kanye West.
• Oasis – Chris Sharrock, pop singer Robbie Williams’ ex-drummer, is reportedly set to replace the recently axed Zack Starkey, son of Ringo Starr.
• Spice Girls – Victoria Beckham has announced on Britain’s “GMTV” show that she’s retired from music and will never sing in public again. (Hurrah!)
• Taylor Swift – She’ll be endorsing LEI apparel by modeling a variety of jeans & tops in an ad campaign in the AUGUST issues of “Cosmopolitan”, “Seventeen”, “Teen Vogue” & other mags.
• Van Halen – Word is they’re shooting shows on their current tour for an upcoming DVD release. THIS WEEK’s performance in East Rutherford NJ was apparently first to be filmed.

• “Desperate Housewives” (ABC) – SUNDAY the 2-hour season finalé airs.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – TODAY Justin Timberlake & Welsh singer Duffy are on.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – TONIGHT Clay Aiken & Brit singer Kate Nash are onstage.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – TONIGHT Reba McEntire promotes the “ACM Awards”.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – TODAY Bryan Adams is the musical guest.
• New Kids On the Block – TODAY fans get a sneak peak of the upcoming reunion tour with their first public performance together in 15 years, live on “Today” (NBC). Then SATURDAY they tune-up further at Z100’s annual “Zootopia” concert in East Rutherford NJ.
• “The Office” (NBC) – SUNDAY 2 hour-long episodes, “The Launch” and “Money”, are rerun.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – THIS AFTERNOON Mary J Blige performs.
• Paul McCartney – SUNDAY his 2007 album, “Memory Almost Full”, is being given away with Britain’s “Mail On Sunday” newspaper. LAST YEAR the paper gave away Prince’s “Planet Earth” for free. (It helps sales figures for both the albums and the newspaper.)
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Presidential candidate John McCain does a cameo on the season finalé, hosted by actor Steve Carell (“The Office”). Usher is the musical guest.
• Stone Temple Pilots – SATURDAY their 65-city North American reunion tour begins in Columbus OH … barring any further DUI busts.

SUNDAY Reba McEntire hosts the 43rd annual ceremony (her 10th), live on CBS-TV from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. A few highlights …
• Kenny Chesney leads nominations with 12, followed by rising star Rodney Atkins with 6.
• Nominees not traditionally associated with country music include Bon Jovi, The Eagles, Kelly Clarkson, and Sheryl Crow.
• Performers include Brad Paisley, Brooks & Dunn, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Kellie Pickler, Kenny Chesney, George Strait, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Toby Keith, and Trace Adkins.
• Garth Brooks receives the inaugural ‘Crystal Milestone Award’ for sales achievements.
• Rascal Flatts receives the ‘Humanitarian Award’ for charitable work.
• Brooks & Dunn have won the most ACM Awards in history with 24 trophies.
• SATURDAY Rascal Flatts hosts the 5th annual “ACM Celebrity Golf Classic” in Vegas.
• SATURDAY Craig Morgan, James Otto, Lady Antebellum, and Little Big Town are among 25 artists scheduled to participate in the 5th annual “ACM Charity Motorcycle Ride”, hosted by Montgomery Gentry.

“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): The ‘Pevensie’ siblings return to ‘Narnia’ a year after their previous adventure, only to discover that over 1,000 years have passed in the magical land. The children & allies band together to help restore the kingdom to its rightful heir, ‘Prince Caspian’ (Ben Barnes). Shot in New Zealand and the Czech Republic. The first film in the series based on the CS Lewis novels, “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe” (2005), grossed an astounding $745 million worldwide.

Nissan Corp has announced it will launch 2 electric car models in the North American market in 2010. The new vehicles will be capable of traveling 125 miles (200 km) on a single charge. That’s fairly impressive, but larger urban centers may need to install a network of recharging stations in order to accommodate the vehicles. A complete recharge will take 20-to-40 minutes. Nissan says it’s intent on becoming a global leader in the eco-friendly electric car market. (You’ll be able to travel around free … thanks to your neighbor’s outdoor electrical outlet.)
– Reuters

THIS WEEK the Detroit Symphony Orchestra gave the 1st-ever live orchestra performance conducted by … a robot. The 4′-3” humanoid conductor was Honda’s ‘ASIMO’ (‘Advanced Step In Innovative Mobility’). Previously, ASIMO’s musical experience was limited to ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange but the ‘bot managed to keep the beat for a rendition of “Impossible Dream” using a baton just like a real conductor. (How insightful that this cutting edge technology was unveiled in the Motor City … by Honda.)
– “GQ”

Soon you’ll be able to follow in your teenager’s footsteps. GTX Corp has developed technology to turn running shoe insoles into real-time tracking devices that transmit location data via Google Maps online. The company is hoping to make the service available by the end of THIS YEAR but it won’t be cheap – the hi-tech shoes will cost upwards of $200, plus you’ll pay a $20/month subscription fee. One problem with the concept is it requires access to cell towers, so someone wearing the shoes could still disappear in areas where there’s no cell phone access. (And you could easily become totally invisible just by taking your shoes off.)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

Since it’s inner-city ‘Congestion Charge’ kicked in 5 years ago, the average speed of traffic in London, England has improved from 8.5 mph to 10 mph. In New York City, the average traffic speed is estimated to be 9.9 mph. The average speed of a horse-drawn carriage is 8 mph.


1953 [55] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“The Matador”, ‘James Bond’-“Die Another Day”, “Tomorrow Never Dies”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Sam Carmichael’ in the bigscreen version of the musical, “Mamma Mia!”, coming JULY 18th.

1954 [54] Dave (Dafydd) Rhys-Williams, Saskatoon SK, NASA astronaut (STS 90)

1964 [44] Boyd (‘BT’) Tinsley, Charlottesville VA, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “Crash Into Me”)

1966 [42] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (“All For You”, “Escapade”)/9th and youngest child in the dysfunctional Jackson family

1969 [39] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Special Agent Seeley Booth’ on “Bones” since 2005, “Angel” 1999-2004, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-99)

1973 [35] Tori Spelling, Beverly Hills CA, TV personality (“Housesitter” 2007, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2007, “Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000)/married to Canadian actor Dean McDermott (2006)

1977 [31] Melanie Lynskey, New Plymouth NZ, TV actress (“Two & A Half Men” since 2003)
1986 [22] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Transformers”)/TV actress (“Hope & Faith” 2004-06)

Movie actor Dennis Hopper (“Speed”) is 72; TV actor Bob Saget (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 52; New age singer Enya (“Orinoco Flow”) is 47; TV host Craig Ferguson (“Late Late Show”) is 46; Rock singer Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) is 43; TV actor Hill Harper (“CSI: NY”) is 42; Interior designer Thom Filicia (“Queer Eye”) is 39; Celtic rocker Alan Doyle (Great Big Sea) is 39; Pop singer Jordan Knight (New Kids On the Block) is 38; Rock singer Josh Homme (Queens Of the Stone Age) is 35; TV actor Sendhil Ramamurthy (“Heroes”) is 34; NBA player Tony Parker (Mr Eva Longoria) is 26.

Country singer George Strait  (“I Saw God Today”) is 56; Movie actor Chow Yun-Fat (“Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”) is 53; TV actress/writer/producer Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) is 38; Pop singer/songwriter Jack Johnson (“If I Had Eyes”) is 33; Canadian TV actor Ryan Cooley (“Degrassi: The Next Generation”) is 20.

• “Bike-to-Work Day”, the 14th annual observed on the 3rd FRIDAY of MAY as a highlight of “National Bike Month”. It’s promoted as part of the solution to many of today’s problems: obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution. Surveys suggest the biggest reason commuters refuse to try biking is fear of … body odor.
• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Mike the Headless Chicken Days” through TOMORROW in the town of Fruita CO, an annual celebration of a young rooster that had its head cut off in 1945 and survived for 18 months, thereby becoming a touring national celebrity. His surprising survival gives Fruita a reason to celebrate the coming of Spring. Get the whole story here …
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’ who contend aliens will not communicate with Earth due to our violent nature. The goal of this observance is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.

• “Be a Millionaire Day”, a celebration of the joys of achieving millionaire status. Here’s how you go about it: First, get a whole bunch of money …
• “Ka Hula Piko”, the 17th annual Hawaiian cultural festival in Molokai celebrating the hula dance.
• “FA Cup Final” (“Football Association Challenge Cup”), England’s 127th annual knockout competition soccer final, THIS YEAR featuring Portsmouth vs Cardiff City at the new Wembley Stadium in London.
• “Fête du Chocolat” kicks off in Bromont QC, the first of 2 successive weekends where visitors consume up to 2 tons of chocolate per day and artists create huge chocolate sculptures.
• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you refuse to throw away?
• “Preakness Stakes” at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore MD, the 133rd running of the 2nd jewel in the Triple Crown of thoroughbred horse racing.
• “US Armed Forces Day”, observed annually since 1950 on the 3rd SATURDAY in MAY to salute those in all branches of the military who serve and protect their country.
• “World Telecommunication & Information Society Day”, a UN observance since 1969.
• “AIDS Walk New York”, the largest AIDS fundraiser in the world with an expected 45,000 participants walking a 10-km course through the streets of NYC.
• “International Museum Day”, established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums to draw attention to the world’s museums, no matter how large, small, or strange, such as …
– In Croatia, “The Museum of Broken Relationships”, which includes donated mementoes of ruined romances, from short flings to painful divorces.
– In Guthrie OK, the “National Lighter Museum”, with 20,000 pieces representing over 85,000 years of lighters and fire starters. The only museum of its kind in the world.
– In Husavik, Iceland, “The Institute of Phallology”, a cultural attraction since 1974 featuring about 200 animal ‘members’ (but so far no human has been willing to give up his ‘package’).
– In Moscow, Russia, “The Vodka Museum”, with over 50,000 bottles on display. Visitors are offered 10 different types to taste.
– In Philadelphia PA, “The Three Stooges Museum”, featuring exhibits, films, and memorabilia relating to the funnymen of filmdom who made humorous shorts from 1933-63. Nyuk, nyuk.
– In Ukraine, a “The History of the Toilet Museum”, where they warn you not to use the ‘exhibits’.
Other weird museums here …
• “No Dirty Dishes Day”, a convenient excuse to eat 3 meals in a restaurant.
• “Visit Your Relatives Day”, a day to renew relationships with seldom-seen relatives. Um, maybe there’s a reason they are seldom seen?

• “Victoria Day”, a truly Canadian holiday. A few facts …
– The holiday commemorates the birth of Queen Victoria on May 24, 1819, who became Britain’s longest-reigning monarch (1837-1901).
– Celebration of her birthday in Canada began in 1845 while “Victoria Day” originated in 1901 after her death, as a memorial day for her role in Confederation & other national milestones.
– According to a Sympatico/MSN poll, 41% of Canadians cannot identify the latter half of the 1800s as the period when the majority of Queen Victoria’s reign occurred.
– Since 1952, the holiday has been celebrated on the 1st MONDAY preceding MAY 25th.
– Along with “Canada Day”, it’s the only Canadian holiday that’s not celebrated elsewhere.

1929 [79] The “Academy Awards” are inaugurated in Hollywood CA (“Wings” wins ‘Best Picture’)

2002 [06] “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” opens in movie theaters

2000 [08] Prince tells a press conference he will go back to using his name instead of the unpronounceable symbol he adopted to ‘free himself from undesirable contracts’

1866 [142] 1st ‘Root Beer’ is marketed (Charles Elmer Hires)

1891 [117] ‘Spam’ is introduced by Geo A Hormel & Co (pink goo in a can)

1965 [43] ‘Spaghetti-Os’ arrives on stores shelves (even ickier pink goo in a can)

[Mon] Full ‘Flower’ Moon
[Mon] International Peace Day
[Tues] Senior Citizens Day
[Tues] Eliza Doolittle Day
[Wed] “American Idol“ finalé (FOX/CTV)
[Wed] Wait Staff Day
This Week Is … Dog Bite Prevention Week
This Month Is … Allergy & Asthma Month


If you could have any music group or musician alive today to play at your birthday party, which would you hire?

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Mariah Carey – “Touch My Body”
4. Flo Rida f/T-Pain – “Low”
3. Chris Brown – “With You”
2. Usher – “Love In This Club”
1. Lil Wayne f/Static Major – “Lollipop”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

That was not dead air you just heard. That was me using sign language to introduce the next song for the hearing impaired.

Today’s Question: According to medical experts, there’s a 70% increased chance of this happening to you on a weekend or holiday.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Someone will bite you.

Today’s Question: Each year, some 80,000 Americans go to the hospital with an injury caused by THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lawnmowers.

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you’re doing, but nobody else does.

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