Tuesday, November 22, 2005 Edition: #3164
BS – The Most Touchdowns in Show Prep!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Microsoft’s new Xbox 360 game system officially hits the market, but many online retailers are already SRO thanks to ‘pre-sales’ (MSRP circa $299) . . . TODAY Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II awards the first-ever ‘Queen’s Medal for Music’, a new annual prize to ‘reward individuals who have had a major influence on the musical life of the nation’ (probably Spice Girls then, wouldn’t you think?) . . . An Oklahoma participant on the ABC-TV reality show “Wife Swap” is suing for $10.225 million because producers swapped out his wife for a gay man, purportedly causing him mental distress, public humiliation, embarrassment & undue grief (oh well then, we thought only total losers appeared on reality shows) . . . Actress Jennifer Aniston is reportedly unhappy with “GQ” magazine for using a steamy shot on the cover in which she’s pictured wearing only a pair of cut-offs (well what the heck did you expect when you posed for it?) . . . A pal says movie director Guy Ritchie is finally realizing that following Kabbalah hasn’t been his greatest career move and he’s now attempting to distance himself from the faith, thereby risking the fury of his devout wife Madonna (she’ll come around, once the de-programmers are finished with her) . . . The final wish of “Star Trek” actor James Doohan (aka ‘Scotty’, who died in JULY aged 85), that his ashes be shot into space will be delayed at least a month from the scheduled DECEMBER 6th lift-off due to faulty rocket parts (“The engines cannae take it, captain …”) . . . Meantime, 74-year-old William Shatner’s plans to auction his kidney stone for charity on eBay as ‘The Ultimate Piece of “Star Trek” Memorabilia’ have been delayed by the auction site’s strict rules about the sale of human body parts (in that case, use one of Spock’s ears) . . . And a new week-long count of ‘Visible Dead Bodies’ shown on primetime TV programs has come up with a total of 63 stiffs, up sharply from the 27 bodies in a similar count LAST YEAR (thanks mainly to all those “CSI” shows, of corpse!).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Audioslave – TONIGHT they’re on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• The Cars – The ‘80s new wave band plans to re-form & tour with veteran singer/songwriter Todd Rundgren subbing for former frontman Ric Ocasek, who has declined to participate.
• Elton John – TODAY he re-releases an expanded, double-disc edition of his 2004 album, “Peachtree Road”, which features a DVD & 3 new tracks he wrote for the stage play “Billy Elliot”.
• Enya – TODAY she releases her first studio album in 5 years, “Amarantine”. Hard to believe, but the New Age artist is Ireland’s best-seller next to U2.
• Fiona Apple – TONIGHT she kicks off her “Extraordinary Machine” tour in Portland OR.
• Queen – TODAY their 1975 album “A Night at the Opera” is re-released in a ‘30th Anniversary Collector’s Edition’ with remastered audio & accompanying DVD.
• Rolling Stones – TODAY “Rarities: 1971-2003″, a collection of remixes, B-sides & hard-to-find live recordings goes on sale at Starbucks outlets in the US & Canada.
• Rush – TODAY they release “R30 Live in Frankurt”, a CD/DVD package recorded at a 2004 concert in Frankfurt, Germany.
• Pearl Jam – TONIGHT they kick off their first-ever South American tour in Santiago, Chile, partly due to a petition that was sent to their reps with thousands of signatures from fans.
• U2 – Convinced that music is key to New Orleans’ survival, The Edge & Canadian producer Bob Ezrin are launching ‘Music Rising’, a campaign to replace musical instruments that were lost in hurricanes Katrina and Rita.
• Usher – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Also in music stores TODAY: “Hurricane Relief: Come Together Now”, featuring 35 tracks by some 80 artists ranging from Faith Hill to Kanye West; Britney Spears’ “B in the Mix: The Remixes”; System of a Down’s “Hypnotize”; “Try! John Mayer Trio Live in Concert”; Reba McEntire’s “Reba #1s”; and “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Complete Recordings”, a 4-disc set of the entire score from the epic film trilogy.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “War of the Worlds” (Sc-Fi Thriller – DVD): Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning & Tim Robbins star in Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the classic HG Wells’ sci-fi story about an alien invasion. Despite lukewarm reviews, it grossed close to $590 million in worldwide box office.
• “The Polar Express” (Animated Family Adventure – DVD): Based on Chris Van Allsburg’s award-winning children’s book about a boy whose belief in Santa Claus is rewarded one Christmas Eve when a train appears in front of his house to carry him off to the North Pole. Features the voice of Tom Hanks. First feature film to use the new ‘motion capture’ technology, in which actors are tracked by computers to provide the movements for the computer-generated characters.
• “The Honeymooners” (Comedy – DVD): An urban version of the vintage Jackie Gleason TV comedy (1955-56) with Cedric the Entertainer & Mike Epps portraying the ‘Ralph Kramden’ & ‘Ed Norton’ characters, although this version has little other similarity with the classic series.
• Also in video stores TODAY: “CSI Miami: The Complete 3rd Season”; “King Kong – Collector’s Edition DVD” (based on the 1933 film); and “Seinfeld: Seasons 5 & 6″.
AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS CHECKLIST:
TONIGHT the 33rd annual ceremony airs live on ABC-TV from LA’s Shrine Auditorium, hosted by Cedric The Entertainer. Some highlights …
• Mariah Carey leads nominations with 4; Kelly Clarkson, 50 Cent & Green Day have 3 apiece.
• Nominees are chosen based on record sales; winners are selected by a poll of 20,000 fans.
• Performances include All-American Rejects, Eurythmics, Gwen Stefani, Hilary Duff, Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Lindsay Lohan, Rascal Flatts, Rob Thomas, Sheryl Crow, Tim McGraw, and the Rolling Stones live from their tour stop in Salt Lake City.
• Performances by ‘combination acts’ include Bow Wow with Omarion & Ciara; Cyndi Lauper & Sarah McLachlan; Pharrell & Gwen Stefani; and Santana with Los Lonely Boys.
• Goody bags given to celebs include a deed for an acre of land … on the Moon.
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• A Japanese hair salon has been ordered to pay $2,400 in compensation to a customer for – cutting her hair too short and dyeing it the wrong color. The Tokyo judge ruled that the woman’s ‘self-confidence’ was affected.
• A French woman who is terrified of flying has admitted in Brisbane, Australia court that she drunkenly tried to open an airplane door mid-flight in order to – smoke a cigarette.
• Police in Houma LA have arrested a 30-year-old woman after she called 9-1-1 in a panic over the emergency of – being served cold onion rings by a local restaurant.
• A housing development in the village of St Fillans, England has been temporarily halted after locals protested it would – ‘harm the fairies’. But it looks like construction can now begin again after the developer spent some $25,000 extra to work around a giant rock where the fairies live.
• A shrine has been set up at the Occidental Grand Resort on the Mexican island of Cozumel after an image said to depict Jesus appeared on – a plant pot. Local media are calling it a miracle and say there’s a link between the apparition’s appearance a month ago and the fact that none of the hotel’s 200 guests suffered a scratch during Hurricane Wilma.
THE SEVEN-YEAR ITCH:
A study shows the average man can make love to the same woman 1,000 times before getting the urge to move on to someone new. That’s enough to last most couples about 7 years. It takes women about 5,000 sexual encounters with the same partner before they get bored. (To stretch it out a lot longer, buy your husband a big-screen plasma TV.)
FOR THE RECORD:
A group of 42 surfers has set a world record by simultaneously riding the same wave at Praia da Macumba Beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The previous “Guinness World Record” was set in 2002 by 38 simultaneous surfers in Australia.
TURN DOWN THAT DAMN NOISE!
A new University of Michigan study reveals that working in an atmosphere which has high decibels of sound can raise blood pressure. Sally Lusk, a researcher at the UM School of Nursing, has previously studied the effects of noise on hearing loss but says her latest findings are an even greater cause for concern. (To get your blood pressure really racing, see “Bull’s Bits”.)
– ANI Science & Health
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of women & 30% of men have Googled a date to find out more about them.
• 75% of us get our ‘alone time’ while commuting to work.
• 71% of women say they overcome holiday stress by reading a book.
• 51% of men say they overcome holiday stress by having a few brews with buddies.
• 32% of us think talking on a cellphone in public is the rudest thing a person can do.
• 25% of men claim they never cry … ever.
CRAYONS DOWN, XBOX UP:
Retail experts predict a 3rd straight decline for traditional toy sales this holiday season, but technology-based toys will continue to grow and take a larger share of the market. Low-cost technology has turned items that once cost hundreds of dollars a few years ago into kids’ stuff. ( … that costs hundreds of dollars.)
– “Toy Wishes”
THE BULL SHEET 11.22.2K5
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940  Terry Gilliam, Minneapolis MN, movie director (“The Brothers Grimm”)/screenwriter (“Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas”)/former TV animator (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”)
1958  Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “True Lies”)/daughter of actors Janet Leigh & Tony Curtis
1961  Mariel Hemingway, Mill Valley CA, movie actress (“First Daughter”, “Manhattan”)/granddaughter of legendary author Ernest Hemingway
1984  Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie actress (“The Island”, “Lost in Translation”) UP NEXT: Co-stars with Josh Hartnett in Brian De Palma’s “The Black Dahlia”, coming in 2006.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “St Cecilia’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of music.
• “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. How about no taxes, no taxes, and no taxes?
• “Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).
THIS WEEK is the 12th annual “National Game & Puzzle Week”. Game company Patch Products offers interviews with experts who’ll relate the history of popular games. Ask listeners for the best board game they’ve discovered that other people don’t know about.
PHONER: 800.524.4263/608.362.6896 (Patch Promotions)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995  Disney/Pixar’s “Toy Story” opens, the first completely ‘Computer-Animated Movie’
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1934  1st performance of holiday classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917  ‘National Hockey League’ 1st organized by Board of Governors meeting at Montréal’s Windsor Hotel (Montréal Canadiens, Montréal Wanderers, Toronto Arenas, and Ottawa Senators begin play December 19, 1917, then Wanderers drop out after Westmount Arena burns down)
1981  1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who go on to win a 5th in 1982)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1950  Lowest-ever NBA score (Ft Wayne Pistons 19, Minneapolis Lakers 18)
COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “Rent”, “Pride & Prejudice”, “Just Friends” & “The Ice Harvest” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Fri] 2005 Aboriginal Music Awards (Toronto)
[Sun] 93rd Grey Cup (Vancouver)
[Sun] Pins & Needles Day
[Mon] Ted Koppel retires from “ABC Nightline”
This Week Is … Adoption Week
This Month Is … Military Family Appreciation Month
BS MISSING MULRONEY TAPES:
LAST NIGHT CBC-TV aired the documentary “The Secret Mulroney Tapes”, based on the best-selling Peter C Newman book. But it seems they missed a few …
• “Hurray for Kim Campbell. Yabba dabba duhhhhh!”
• “You know, if I lower my voice and sound just a little more sanctimonious, I sound like God.”
• “I don’t care what little Ben says, I AM the Canadian idol.”
• “I deny everything I said but I am not denying anything that I did not say.”
• “That f—ing Jean f—ing Chretien can f—ing bite me.”
• “Brian is as Brian does.”
• “Mila, for once tell that namby-pamby son of mine to wipe that insipid sheet-eating grin off his face.”
• “Uh, tell me, Peter … what are you wearing?”
BS REASONS TO BE THANKFUL YOU BURNT THE BIRD:
• No concern about salmonella.
• Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
• Pets won’t bother to pester you for scraps.
• No one will overeat.
• The smoke alarm was due for a test.
• Carving the bird will provide a good CV workout.
• If no one will eat it, you can take it out to the backyard and play football.
• You won’t have to face 3 weeks of turkey sandwiches.
2005’s TOP-SELLING NFL JERSEYS:
5. LaDainian Tomlinson [San Diego Chargers]
4. Donovan McNabb [Philadelphia Eagles]
3. Tom Brady [New England Patriots]
2. Michael Vick [Atlanta Falcons]
1. Randy Moss [Oakland Raiders]
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your family’s really strange Thanksgiving tradition?
BS WEB GOODIE:
British scientist Trevor Cox of the University of Salford has launched the “Bad Vibes Project” to find the ‘World’s Worst Sound’. Cox says if you have control over a noise it tends to be less annoying, but if you are fearful of the source it usually makes it worse. Thanks to the Web, you and your listeners can participate in his quest! (For added hilarity, add some of your own ‘horrible sounds’.)
• For those of you who just don’t care about making whoopee, the ‘Asexual Visibility & Education Network’ is there for you.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: By the time the average student graduates from higher education, they have 4 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Credit cards.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.