Tuesday, October 11, 2005        Edition: #3134
BS – Always Fresh!

Troubled model Kate Moss is already being offered millions to publish her ‘rehab diary’, even though she’s still battling her drug demons at Arizona clinic The Meadows (why is it we reward failure these days?) . . . Seemingly hypnotized actress Katie Holmes has been ordered by her overlords to make another move – firing her long-time publicist & hiring Tom Cruise’s sister and fellow Scientologist Lee Anne DeVette as her new spokesperson . . . Will Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes (‘TomKat’) get hitched before they have their baby (‘TomKitten’)? PinnacleSports.com has put the odds at 4/9 in favor . . . That warehouse fire in Bristol, England destroyed props, models & awards from the “Wallace & Gromit” films but NOT any material related to the current #1 movie, “The Curse of the Were-Rabbit” . . . Post-divorce Jennifer Aniston is now said to be worth more than $75 million, earning over $10 million per movie and receiving about $8 million a year in “Friends” royalties . . . TV producer Steven Bochco (“NYPD Blue”) is taking over TV’s most-watched new series, ABC-TV’s “Commander in Chief”, while the show’s creator Rod Lurie remains as ‘executive producer’ (translation from Hollywoodese: they fired his ass) . . . “Beauty & the Geek” producers Ashton Kutcher & Jason Goldberg will next junk up the boob tube with “Fountain of Youth”, a reality show in which 8 college students team up with 8 ‘active seniors’ in a race across America (the “Amazing Race” with handicapped parking) . . . 79-year-old actor Leslie Nielsen (“The Naked Gun”) & 75-year-old Ed Asner (“Mary Tyler Moore”) will co-star in NBC-TV’s “100 Things to Do Before I Die”, an upcoming reality series described as “Grumpy Old Men” meets “The Simple Life” (aka “2 Geezers Meet the Defibrillator”) . . . And just in time for Halloween, the 1974 horror film classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” has topped a poll by movie magazine “Total Film” of the ‘Greatest Horror Films of All Time’, beating out the likes of “Scream”, “The Shining” and “Psycho”.

• Clint Black – TONIGHT he does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• The Doors – Original drummer John Densmore has vetoed the use of the band’s music in TV ads ever since “Riders on the Storm” ran behind a Pirelli Tires spot in the UK. He says when he saw the ad he was visited by Jim Morrison’s ghost, prompting him to give every cent to charity.
• 50 Cent – He took his name from a real NYC gangster who was gunned down at age 23. Kelvin ‘50 Cent’ Martin shot 30 people in his day.
• Fiona Apple – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Franz Ferdinand – Their 2nd effort ,“You Could Have It So Much Better”, has shot directly to the top of the UK album chart.
• Josh Gracin – The former Marine & “American Idol” contestant just celebrated notching up his first gold album, the self-titled “Josh Gracin”.
• Kanye West – TONIGHT in Miami he kicks off a fall tour with Common, Fantasia & Keyshia Cole that runs through DECEMBER 11th in Vancouver.
• Keith Urban – He may need to postpone part of his European tour after doctors detected a hemorrhage in one of his vocal cords and prescribed vocal rest. That not only means no singing, also but no talking. But fans shouldn’t worry. “I feel fine,” he says … in a written statement.
• Talking Heads – Former frontman David Byrne has unveiled “Fargfabriekn” (“Playing the Building”), a disused 1889 paint factory  in Stockholm, Sweden which he’s turned into a giant musical instrument that anyone can play. The hands-on ‘art installation’ features organ keys that cause whistles to blow, hammers to bang and engines on the roof to rev up. The resulting cacophony is said to be deafening. The exhibit runs until mid-NOVEMBER.

• “Kicking & Screaming” (Comedy – DVD)  Robert Duvall & Will Ferrell star as rival coaches in the hyper-competitive world of little league soccer in a story with a bit of a twist – they’re father and son. Legendary NFL coach Mike Ditka has a role as a coaching consultant – himself!
• “Kingdom of Heaven” (Historical Drama – DVD): Orlando Bloom gained 20 lbs of muscle to play the role of ‘Balian of Ibelin’, who travels to Jerusalem during the 12th century crusades where he finds himself the defender of the city and its people. Liam Neeson & Jeremy Irons co-star.
• “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” (Comedy Adventure – DVD): Based on Ann Brashares’ best-selling novel, the film follows a special summer in the lives of 4 lifelong friends who are separated for the first time. As a way of keeping in touch, they each wear the same pair of ‘lucky’ thrift-shop jeans for a week before sending them on to the next. Stars Amber Tamblyn (“Joan of Arcadia”), Alexis Bledel (“Gilmore Girls”) & Bradley Whitford (“The West Wing”).
• “Unleashed” (Action Thriller – DVD): Jet Li plays a slave raised as a fighting machine beneath the mean streets of Glasgow by a fiery gangster (Bob Hoskins). When ‘Danny the Dog’ is set free by a soft-spoken blind piano tuner (Morgan Freeman), he senses true kindness and compassion for the first time … at least temporarily.

A 100-year-old driver is being given an auto insurance discount because he hasn’t had an accident – in more than 80 years of driving! Cyriel Delacauw of Belgium still drives his car every day and says he plans to keep driving until he’s 110. Old Cy claims today’s beginner drivers act like they were born in a jungle. His secret to safe driving is maintaining a low speed of around 25 mph. His insurance company won’t reveal what his new low-rate premium is. (But they’re now generously waiving the wooden wheel surcharge he’s been paying for 79 years.)
– Ananova News

An $8.3-million sexual theme park will be built near London’s Piccadilly Circus, home of the much-photographed statue of Eros, the Greek god of love. The ‘London Academy of Sex & Relationships’ is designed to be an educational multimedia attraction that will teach visitors to become better lovers using interactive exhibits. (Oh, you mean a whorehouse!)
– “Daily News”

The WB has just aired the 200th episode of “7th Heaven”, making it TV’s all-time longest-running family drama, surpassing “The Waltons” and “Little House on the Prairie”.
– “E!”

In the future, a blast of sound may be used to put out fires in spacecraft. Regular fire extinguishers are useless in microgravity because the foam spreads everywhere, so Dmitriy Plak and colleagues at the University of West Georgia (Carrollton GA) decided to see if sound might be used as an alternative. So far in earthbound experiments, they’ve managed to extinguish a candle flame with a 120-decibel, 55-hertz tone. Why does it work? They’re not sure!
– “New Scientist”

An Australian Christian group has created a version of the Bible in text-speak so believers can spread ‘the good word’ via cellphone. The “SMS Bible” changes the famous opening line to “In da Bginnin God cre8d da heavens & da earth.” Bible Society scripture director George Rodriguez says the project is a way of bringing the book into the 21st century.
– “Herald-Sun”

A Brazilian court will consider a psychic’s claim that the US government owes him a $25 million reward for info he provided on the hiding place of former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. Jucelino da Luz alleges that he’s a ‘visionary’ and American forces only found Saddam based on his letters that described the very bolt-hole where Sadaam was found hiding at a farmhouse near Tikrit. Da Luz’s biggest problem may be that he sent his letters describing the location in 2001, while the reward was not offered until 2003. (He should have predicted the reward ahead of time, too.)
– ABC News

Women who get breast implants often regret it. In fact, in one recent study fully 1 in 4 women with fake breasts say the benefits do NOT outweigh the risks of surgery. (This new syndrome is called ‘Boob Buyer’s Remorse’.)
– “LA Times”

KISS frontman Gene Simmons says he’s never had a complaint from any of the 4,600 women he’s had sex with – because of his honesty. The 56-year-old dinosaur rocker says: “I don’t lie, like most men do. I will tell a girl I want her and desire her, but I’ll tell her straight, ‘I want your sister and your mommy as well.’” (How admirable!)
– contactmusic.com

Britain’s National Trust has launched a campaign to find the UK’s – ugliest vegetable. Gardeners are being encouraged to submit anything from 2-legged carrots to corkscrew runner beans, which often taste great but are rejected because of their looks. The trust, which looks after many of Britain’s historic gardens, says it hopes the campaign counters a trend among retailers for stocking perfect looking fruit and veggies, regardless of taste. Entrants have nearly a year to produce something ugly as winners won’t be announced until next SEPTEMBER.
– Reuters


1925 [80] Elmore Leonard, New Orleans LA, best-selling novelist whose books get made into movies (“Out of Sight”, “Get Shorty”)

1949 [56] Daryl Hall (Hohl), Pottstown PA, oldies singer (Hall & Oates-“Out of Touch”)

1962 [43] Joan Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actress (“School of Rock”)/actor John Cusack’s sister

1985 [20] Michelle Trachtenberg, NYC, movie actress (“Ice Princess”)/ former TV actress (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 2000-2003)

1989 [16] Michelle Wie, Honolulu HI, pro golf phenom (she’s finally old enough to ‘drive’)

TODAY is “Emergency Room Nurses Day”. How do you celebrate? Suture self!

TODAY is the “30th Wedding Anniversary” of former US prez William Jefferson Clinton & Hillary Rodham. At the nuptials Bill was 29, Hillary 27. (It’s their Styrofoam Anniversary!)

TODAY is “National Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign to encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people to talk to their families and friends about their lives.
NET: http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/National_Coming_Out_Day/Index.htm

1975 [30] “Saturday Night Live” debuts on NBC-TV, hosted by comedian George Carlin

1997 [08] Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997″ debuts at #1 on pop singles charts (goes on to become biggest-selling single of all-time)

1919 [86] 1st ‘In-Flight Meals’ served by an airline (box lunches on a KLM flight from London to Paris)

1992 [13] Deion Sanders plays pro football AND pro baseball on the same day, for the Atlanta Falcons and the Atlanta Braves

[Wed-Oct 23] New Montréal FilmFest
[Wed] World Egg Day
[Wed] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
[Thurs] Yom Kippur (Jewish)
[Fri] Be Bald & Be Free Day
This Week is … Fire Prevention Week / Credit Union Week
This Month is … Polish History Month / Child Health Month


• “The Weight-Loss Trick the Experts Don’t Tell You” (“Redbook”)
• “20 Sexifiers … Just for Your Eyes! (“Cosmopolitan”)
• “How to Dress 10 Pounds Thinner” (“Woman’s Day”)
• “9 Sexy Moves That Make Husbands Really Happy” (“Redbook”)
• “How to Turn Him on Without Touching” (“Cosmopolitan”)

10. She’s independent.
9. She’s intelligent.
8. She’s sexual.
7. She’s beautiful.
6. She respects you.
5. She lets you be a man.
4. She makes you want to be a better man.
3. She’s nagless.
2. She gets along with friends & family.
1. She loves you.
– AskMen.com

• What invention is credited to one Robert Adler?
a. Remote control. [CORRECT]
b. Cruise control.
c. Control-top pantyhose.

• If you encounter an old order Mennonite man with a beard, what does that tell you about him?
a. He owns a buggy.
b. He is married. [CORRECT]
c. He’s gonna be asked to play Santa at this year’s holiday barn party.

• Which animals besides cats give birth to kittens?
a. Moose.
b. Beavers. [CORRECT]
c. Joe & Tina Simpson.

Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, only 10% of men practice THIS hygienic activity.                           
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shaving their legs.

A pessimist is never disappointed.

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