Thursday, October 7, 2004        Edition: #2882
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

TONIGHT Alison Krauss & Dan Tyminski return as hosts of the “International Bluegrass Music Association (IBMA) Awards” in Louisville KY (Tyminski has won the ‘Male Vocalist’ award for the past 3 years) . . . 29-year-old  actor Leonardo DiCaprio has developed such a huge affection for gambling haven Las Vegas he’s purchased himself a home there, a $1.5-million abode apartment – actually 2 apartments put together . . . Rumor rumor rumor – “OC” star Benjamin  McKenzie has been spotted cuddling up to “Everwood” starlet Emily van Camp over dinner in LA . . . Legendary “Full House” TV dad Bob Saget will take his career in a completely new & creative direction, sort of – he’s returning to ABC-TV to star in a pilot – as a divorced dad who takes custody of his children . . . Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston have asked their pal, Brit TV chef Jamie Oliver, to help them find a secluded home in England to live in while she films the upcoming movie “Derailed” . . . Rumor in NYC is Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen have dropped out of their freshman studies at NYU (yeah, that first 20 days of working on your degree is a real killer, ain’t it?) . . . Promotion of the year? To hype it’s new show “Lost”, ABC-TV hired crews Labor Day weekend to litter beaches on both coasts with plastic bottles with this message inside: “Help, I’m Lost. You can find me on ABC on September 22″ (lest they be lambasted for littering, they also hired cleanup crews to retrieve leftovers).

• Clay Walker – TODAY through Sunday he’ll play golf on 3 of the world’s most famous courses at the Dunhill Links Championship in Scotland. This is his 3rd chance to play in the $5-million pro-am tournament. His foursome will include 2 pros and actor Kevin Costner.
• Toby Keith – One of his drivers has been treated at a Dallas TX hospital after being hit with a small-caliber bullet while driving an unmarked equipment bus along I-35 on the way from Florida to Oklahoma.
• Bon Jovi – NOVEMBER 16th they’ll release a 5-disc box set called “100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong” featuring 38 recordings that have never seen the light of day and 12 rare non-album tracks.
• Paul McCartney – He’s auctioning the first Gibson ‘Paul McCartney Signature 1964 Epiphone Texan’ guitar, serial #001, to benefit Adopt-A-Minefield, the landmine clearance and survivor assistance program.

A script is being prepared for “Wolverine”, a spin-off of the” X-Men” movies that producers hope will entice actor Hugh Jackman to reprise his role . . . Production is finally underway on the long-awaited “Simpsons” movie which creator Matt Groening says will either kill the show or completely reinvigorate it . . . “Mission Impossible 2″ helmer John Woo will produce & direct “He-Man”, a live-action pic based on the ‘Masters of the Universe’ Mattel action figures from the 1980s . . . Mel Brooks has announced he plans to film the movie version of his hit Broadway musical “The Producers” at a new studio in the Brooklyn Navy Yard – thanks to a new tax credit designed to bring more movies to the state . . . Oscar-winner Tim Robbins is in negotiations to star opposite Tom Cruise in Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the HG Wells classic “War of the Worlds” . . . Actor John Travolta has denied he has any plans whatsoever to star in the proposed sequel “Grease 3″, and as to the rumored “Pulp Fiction” prequel called “The Vega Brothers” – Quentin Tarantino has yet to ask him.

NASA researchers trying to develop an airplane/car hybrid say that an affordable functional ‘flying car’ is still a ways off. The scientists say when you try to combine them you get the worst of both worlds – a heavy, slow, expensive vehicle that’s hard to use. For now, NASA has smaller goals: within 5 years, they hope to create a small airplane which costs less than $100,000 and is as easy to operate as a car; within 10 years, they hope to perfect a small plane which can also drive short distances on side roads after landing; in 15 years, their goal is a 4-passenger vehicle that can make vertical takeoffs. After these prototypes, it will still take many more years before the vehicles are on the market. Predictions are the first ‘sky cars’ will cost around $1 million and require a pilot’s license to fly, but the eventual dream is that they’ll cost about the same as a luxury land vehicle. But don’t get too excited – anything even remotely ‘Jetsons’-like is still at least 25 years away. (Now back to the morning traffic watch …)
– AP Science

Choosing the right sandwich can help you get ahead at the office, recover from a hangover or even perform better in bed. Oxford University lecturer Dr John Stanley applies science to sandwiches to help provide the body with nutrients for different situations. For example, he suggests …
• For a good night’s sleep, try smoked turkey with cream cheese.
• To stay alert at a business meeting, you need a chicken tikka & mango salsa sandwich.
• Before a gym workout, an apple & peanut butter sandwich is best.
• Figs & honey produce an aphrodisiac sandwich when added to ricotta cheese & orange.
• A toasted chocolate & banana sandwich is the best to cure a hangover.
– “Daily Post”

If you’re looking for the most enjoyable way to lose weight, look no further than the advice of an Italian dietician who has calculated how many calories you can burn while engaged in various acts of lovemaking. According to his ‘research’, it takes about 26 minutes of passionate love to burn off the calories in a slice of pizza, 53 minutes of French-kissing to burn off a burger and fries, and 15 minutes of oral pleasure to eliminate the calories in a glass of wine. He also calculates that removing a woman’s bra will burn 18 calories if done with just one hand, but only 8 calories if done with both hands. And for real go-getters, taking off a bra with your teeth will burn a whopping 87 calories. (Um, they’re talking someone else’s bra, right?)
– “Sun Times”

Anheuser-Busch is about to introduce a caffeinated, sweet-flavored beer for twenty-something club-goers to compete with the flavored rums and vodkas gaining ground on the dance floor. The new beer B(E) – read as ‘B to the E power’ – will roll out in several phases starting in NOVEMBER. The new brew is aimed at the 21 to 27-year-old crowd that looks for novel beverages and switches drinks more frequently according to mood and occasion. (In other words, people who are loyal to whatever brand you’re buying.)
– Reuters

Scientists are baffled by a man-made rainforest which has grown in only 150 years on a small island in the Atlantic Ocean. In the early 1800’s, Ascension Island was a barren volcanic wasteland with only 20 plant species and almost no trees. In 1843, the British Royal Navy decided to revitalize the island and planted thousands of trees using a random collection of seedlings from Argentina, South Africa and the UK. Today the forest is a thriving tropical forest with its own highly complex, interactive ecosystem. According to conventional evolutionary theory, such a forest should take at least 1,000 years to evolve and maybe shouldn’t have evolved at all considering the random nature of its beginnings. (Shouldn’t someone call Sting about this?)
– “The Independent”

Things really ARE humming along. A new  University of California study finds Earth is constantly producing a low-frequency noise in the 2 to 7 mHz (millihertz) range, far below the range of human hearing. Researchers say it’s not earthquakes that make Earth ‘hum’ as previously believed, but energy produced in the oceans.  According to the study, it’s a byproduct of the interplay between the atmosphere, ocean and sea floor. (Let’s listen … SFX.)


1951 [53] John Mellencamp, Seymour IN, pop singer (“Cherry Bomb”)/Farm Aid co-founder

1952 [52] Vladimir Putin, St Petersburg RUS, President of Russia since 2000

1953 [51] Tico (Hector) Torres, NYC, rock drummer (Bon Jovi-“Always”)

1968 [36] Toni Braxton, Severn MD, Grammy-winning pop/R&B singer (“Unbreak My Heart”)

1968 [36] Thom Yorke, Wellingborough UK, rock singer/guitarist (Radiohead-“Creep”)

1976 [28] Rachel McAdams, St Thomas ON, movie actress (“Mean Girls”)

1979 [25] Shawn Ashmore, Richmond BC, movie actor (‘Iceman/Bobby Drake’-“X-Men 1 & 2″)

TOMORROW-October 16th is the 36th annual “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’. It also features the largest “Thanksgiving Day Parade” in Canada.
PHONER: 888.294.4267

SATURDAY is the 26th annual “Turkey Testicle Festival” in Byron IL. It includes a rock concert, a motorcycle poker run called the ‘Run For The Nuts’, plus lotsa beer and deep-fried … well, er turkey testicles – yummers! The big bash’s slogans are ‘Let’s All Get Nuts!’ and ‘Come and Have a Ball!’

SATURDAY is the “North American Wife-Carrying Contest” at the Sunday River ski area in Bethel, Maine. Husbands carry wives through an obstacle course of log hurdles and a muddy water hole. The competitors with the best time are crowned the champs. The winners earn the female’s weight in beer plus 5 times her weight in cash. LAST YEAR’S champs were Canadian couple Brandon Ronson & Jenny Aspden of Tillsonburg ON who completed the course in 1 minute, 30.9 seconds.
PHONER: 207.824.3000 (Sunday River Ski Resort, Bethel ME)

THIS WEEK is “National Metric Week”, promoting American conversion to the system that has become the standard in the rest of the world. Ask why the concept isn’t very popular in the US.
PHONER: 703.620.9840 (National Council of Mathematics Teachers -Reston VA)

2003 [01] In State of California recall election, Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected Governor

1828 [176] 1st ‘bathtub’ introduced, in England (next day people started fretting over how to get rid of that damn ring!)

2001 [03] San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds sets the MLB single-season home run record, blasting #73 off LA Dodger Dennis Springer in the final game of the season

[Fri] 2nd US Presidential debate (St Louis)
[Fri] National Denim Day
[Sat] World Monopoly Championship (Tokyo)
[Mon] Emergency Nurses Day
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day
[Mon] Columbus Day (USA)
This Week Is . . . Squirrel Awareness Week (hey, what’s that bushy-tailed rodent climbing that tree over there?)
This Month Is . . . Dryer Vent Safety Month (what could possibly go wrong here … you burn your underwear?)


• You eat your Smarties in color order.
• You fold your dirty clothes … before putting them in the hamper.
• You have to have all boxes in the cupboards facing the same way and in order by size.
• You have all your canned goods organized by type, flavor, and use.
• All your books, CDs, and movies have to be alphabetical order.
• You require no less than 200 threads per inch in your sheets,
• You alphabetize your spices.
• You organize your closet by season … and color … and fabric.
• Every e-mail reply that you send has been through a grammar checker … and you correct the original message.

• THIS WEEK is “National Customer Service Week”. Without naming names, what’s the worst service you’ve ever received from a business?
• THIS WEEK is “National Work From Home Week”. What’s the biggest disadvantage of working at home? (Having your 4-year-old delete all your computer files; being caught in your bathrobe when a courier shows up at the door; the dog barking during an important phone call, etc.)

Looking for some scary Halloween drop-ins? Download this 5-minute mix of famous quotes from all-time horror movie greats.

Today’s Question:  If you are between 35 and 49, your lifestyle is most likely to include THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Eating healthy.

Everything your boss says is funny.

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