Friday, October 10, 2003 Edition: #2641
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Ol’ Blue Eyes is back in concert at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall as “Sinatra: His Voice, His World” opens for a 10-day run, a hi-tech show in which 3-D images of Frank will be projected on giant screens to make it appear as if he’s moving and singing his old hits, backed by a 40-piece live orchestra, a choir, and the Rockettes . . . Word has it images of Jen n’ Ben have been deleted from posters for their upcoming movie “Jersey Girl” – to give it a better chance of box office success (their careers are now in the post-”Gigli” phase) . . . Things are getting serious – Nicole Kidman has recently spent time at Lenny Kravitz’s Miami mansion getting to know his 14-year-old daughter Zoe (from his marriage to actress Lisa Bonet) . . . “Siegfried & Roy’s” Siegfried Fischbacher says the tiger that injured his partner Roy Horn was trying to ‘help him’ after he slipped on-stage (help him what – lose weight?) . . . Celine Dion & popular Aussie photographer Anne Geddes (the one who puts babies in flower pots) are working on a CD & book project called “The Miracle”, a collection of songs & pics about moms & babies . . . YESTERDAY former ‘James Bond’ actor Roger Moore was knighted by Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II for his work as a UNICEF ambassador, not his acting (in Britain, this is called ‘getting your gong’) . . . And 40-year-old “Kill Bill” actress Daryl Hannah is said to be so unhappy with her nude layout in the NOVEMBER issue of “Playboy”, she’s talked to a high-powered Hollywood lawyer about suing (what, not enough air-brushing?).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Kill Bill: Volume 1″ (Crime Thriller): Quentin Tarantino’s latest stars Uma Thurman as an assassin who’s attacked on her wedding day by her own team, the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A Fox). After emerging from a 4-year coma, she sets out to get revenge, first from her boss ‘Bill’ (David Carradine). Is it violent? Word is one 20-minute scene includes 88 deaths! “Volume 2″ of this twisted tale is due FEBRUARY 20th.
• “Intolerable Cruelty” (Romantic Comedy): George Clooney & Catherine Zeta-Jones star in this Coen Bros story about a revenge-seeking gold digger who marries a womanizing Beverly Hills lawyer with the intention of making a killing on the divorce. Clooney has said that he and Zeta-Jones based their money-grabbing characters on Jen ‘n Ben.
• “Good Boy!” (Live Action/Animated Family Fantasy): Matthew Broderick provides the voice for ‘Hubble’, an intergalactic dog pilot from the dog star Sirius, who visits Earth to verify rumors that dogs have failed to take over the planet.
• “The House of the Dead” (Horror): No-name fright flick about a group of college students who arrive on an island for a rave, only to discover it’s been taken over by zombies. The teens take refuge in a house where they try to survive the night.
JUST LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO COURTNEY LOVE:
A survey in “Good Housekeeping” magazine finds that most pediatricians don’t give their kids any medicine at all. 62% say they believe in ‘minimal intervention’ in cases of minor illness and 38% think most parents over-medicate children. (What cold remedies have you heard of that don’t involve medicine?)
THE STATS ON TATS:
A new Harris Interactive poll finds that 16% of the general population, and a whopping 30% of people 25 to 39 now have at least one tattoo. Only 17% of those with tats say they have regrets about getting them. The #1 reason for wanting to get rid of one – the person’s name in the tattoo. (Yeah, that “I love Mary-Kate & Ashley” tat will be real popular at the home when you’re 75.)
A compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ –
• Scientists say … kids who won’t eat their vegetables may be demonstrating an evolutionary trait designed to protect them from harm. Cancer research scientists at London’s University College claim today’s fussy children may have evolved from early humans’ natural suspicion of plants, because toxins made eating them risky. (We have a simpler theory – lima beans taste like crap.)
• Scientists say … that yawning right after you see someone else yawn may be a subconscious signal of empathy, communicating to the other person, “I’m with you. I feel your yawn.” (So why don’t we copy other functions – like belching, for instance? “I feel your gas.”)
• Scientists say … kids who are continuously exposed to dog and cat hair, especially between ages 7 and 11, are less likely to develop allergies than those who aren’t exposed to pet dander at all. A new study in the “Journal of Allergy & Clinical Immunology” finds that 80% of children with cat allergies have never had a cat in their home. (That’s why I keep drinking – to avoid cirrhosis.)
• Scientists say … that millionaires are 4 times more likely to suffer from dyslexia. According to a new study by Tulip Financial Research, one reason may be that dyslexics, who tend not to be good at details, learn to excel by grasping the bigger picture and producing original ideas. (Or maybe they’re motivated because they look at their bank balance and see 000,000,1$.)
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• 22-year-old Juan Evangelista Poot of Yucatan, Mexico has been shot in the back – by his dog. Seems the pooch picked up the pistol and was holding it in his mouth when it went off. Local cops say an arrest is unlikely.
• A nun at a convent in Portugal got her arm trapped in a toilet after reaching in to retrieve her dropped false teeth. OK, that’s bad. What’s worse is she couldn’t call for help – because she’d taken a vow of silence.
• State officials in Utah are refusing to allow a Salt Lake City man to put his family name on his license plate because it’s thought to be too vulgar. Dennis UDINK is appealing the decision.
AND WE QUOTE:
• “I rejected some gorgeous publicity shots because they just didn’t look like me. I won’t wear
skanky clothes that show off my booty, my belly or boobs. I have a great body. I could be
Britney. I could be better than Britney.” – Avril Lavigne in “Elle Girl”.
• “I often feel that I am a gay man trapped in this body.” – Pamela Anderson in “Jane” magazine.
THE BULL SHEET 10.10.2K3
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952  Sharon Osbourne (Arden), London ENG, TV talk show host (“The Sharon Osbourne Show”)/rock star manager/TV personality (“The Osbournes”)/Mrs Ozzy Osbourne since 1982/mother of Kelly, Jack & Aimee
1959  Bradley Whitford, Madison WI, TV actor (2001 Emmy Award as ‘Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman’-“The West Wing”)/married to “Malcolm in the Middle” mom Jane Kaczmarek
1967  Mike Malinin, Washington DC, rock musician (Goo Goo Dolls-“Sympathy”, “Iris”)
1969  Brett Favre, Kiln MS, NFL QB (Green Bay Packers since 1992)/1996 Super Bowl Champion/3-time NFL MVP
1972  Dean Roland, Stockbridge GA, rock singer/guitarist (Collective Soul-“Shine”, “December”)
1979  Mya (Harrison), Washington DC, pop/R&B singer (“My Love is Like … Whoa”, “Lady Marmalade”)/movie actress (“Chicago”, “Moulin Rouge”)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1925  Elmore Leonard, New Orleans LA, best-selling novelist whose books get made into TV shows (“Karen Sisco”, “Maximum Bob”) and movies (“Out of Sight”, “Get Shorty”) UP NEXT: Don Cheadle will star in the bigscreen version of Leonard’s novel “Tishomingo Blues”.
1949  Daryl Hall (Hohl), Pottsdown PA, pop singer (Hall & Oates-“Getaway Car”, “Kiss on My List”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY-October 19th is the 35th annual “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’. It also features the largest “Thanksgiving Day Parade” in Canada.
THIS WEEKEND the 52nd annual “World’s Wristwrestling Championships” grapple in Reno NV. The world’s top 500 wrists will compete for over $5,000 in cash & prizes.
TOMORROW is “Emergency Room Nurses Day”. (How to celebrate? Suture self!)
TOMORROW is “National Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, part of the Human Rights Campaign’s “National Coming Out Project”. This year’s theme is ‘It’s a Family Affair’. Single-sex parents having babies has evolved into what’s now being called the ‘gayby boom’, a $22-billion market for baby products.
SUNDAY is “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re all encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. (That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed.)
“Thanksgiving Day” is observed on the 2nd MONDAY in October, by proclamation of Parliament in 1957. It is thought that the first Canadian Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1763 in Halifax. It became an annual Canadian tradition in 1879, celebrated on the same day as in the USA. It was later moved ahead to reflect the earlier harvest season.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886  1st appearance of a ‘tuxedo’ as Griswold Lorillard wears a coat with satin lapels to a ball in Tuxedo Park NY
1923  1st baseball teams to play in 3 consecutive World Series (NYC’s Giants & Yankees)
1933  1st packaged ‘laundry detergent’ (Procter & Gamble’s ‘Dreft’)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1976  Greece’s 98-year-old Dimitrion Yordanidis becomes oldest to complete a marathon (7 hours, 33 minutes)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tonight] Full Moon (Hunter’s Moon)
[Sun] Farmers Day
[Sun] World Egg Day
[Mon] Columbus Day (USA)
[Tues] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Wed] National Grouch Day
This Week is – International Letter Writing Week (when’s the last time you wrote one – with pen and paper?)
This Month is – Kitchen & Bath Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
ONLINE DATING DON’TS:
• When conversing through e-mail, don’t write your entire life story.
• Don’t initiate sexual talk. You’ll look crass, and even worse, too eager!
• Don’t lie if you hope that anything worthwhile will develop from the encounter.
• Don’t appear needy by sending too many e-mails or IM messages.
• Don’t spread yourself too thin by corresponding with too many matches.
BS TURKEY FACTS:
• Male turkeys gobble. Hens do not. They make a clicking noise.
• A 15-lb turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
• Commercially raised turkeys are too heavy to fly. In fact, turkey breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that turkeys sometimes fall over.
• Turkeys have been bred to have white feathers because they leave no spots under the skin when plucked.
• Israelis eat the most turkeys … 28 lbs per person annually.
• A 16-week-old turkey is called a ‘fryer’. A 5- to 7-month-old turkey is called a ‘young roaster’ and a year-old bird is a ‘yearling. Any turkey 15 months or older is called ‘mature’.
• Eating turkey doesn’t cause you to feel sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner. It’s likely the carbohydrates (potatoes, buns, stuffing, etc) that are the cause.
• The 5 most popular ways to serve leftover turkey are – sandwich, stew or soup, salad, casserole, and stir-fry.
ARE YOU AVERAGE?
• The average woman will do this 15,696 times in her life, the average man will do it 18,325 times. [Wash their hair.]
• If you’re average, you’ll own about 100 of these in your lifetime. [Toothbrushes.]
• It’s funny, but if you do this 13 times a day you’re considered average. [Laugh.]
Q: What time of the day are your feet largest?
A: They’re largest after they’ve taken a pounding all day. So to avoid buying shoes that are too tight, you should shop late in the day, advises the Podiatric Medical Association.
BS WEB GOODIE:
Some anonymous wordsmith has come up with “Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving”, a clever and humorous twist on the Christmas poem.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Just recently, the 500-millionth of THESE was made.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Computer mouse.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Adversity causes some to break, others to break records.