Wednesday, October 28, 2009        Edition: #4131
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s big 25th anniversary bash tomorrow & Friday at NYC’s Madison Square Garden has hit a couple of snags as Eric Clapton won’t be playing (due to the removal of gallstones) and Bruce Springsteen may not perform either due to the death of his 36-year-old cousin/assistant road manager Lenny Sullivan (there’s still U2 and about 2 dozen other acts) . . . Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn (“Milk”) has reportedly travelled to Cuba to interview former president Fidel Castro for an article he’s writing for “Vanity Fair” magazine . . . 30-year-old “Lost” actress Evangeline Lilly says she has such a ‘huge capacity for love’ she can meet a complete stranger and ‘feel love for them’ (okay guys, the line forms over here) . . . 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson is set to make her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller’s “A View From the Bridge” as a 17-year-old being raised by her uncle, played by actor Liev Schreiber (hopefully there’s no singing involved!) . . . Samantha Geimer, the woman raped by movie director Roman Polanski in 1978, says she wants the case against the 76-year-old thrown out because she can’t cope with the constant media attention . . . Classical singer Josh Groban has confirmed he’ll make another cameo appearance on “Glee” (FOX) and says he fits right in on the set because he was a member of his school’s choir (once a dweeb always a dweeb) . . . And 29-year-old actor Channing Tatum (“GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra”) has suffered a scalding on the set of “The Eagle Of the Ninth, now shooting in the Scottish Highlands, after attempting to keep warm by wearing a wetsuit underneath his wardrobe and asking an assistant to pour in hot water (brilliant!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Flyleaf (“Memento Mori”, out November 10th).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Rodrigo y Gabriela (“Rodrigo y Gabriela”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Weird Al Yankovic (“The Essential Weird Al”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Sting (“If On a Winter’s Night …”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tim McGraw (“Southern Voice”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Uncle Kracker (“Happy Hour”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Alice In Chains – They have a new iPhone app called “The Black Gives Way To Blue” that features 3 tracks from their new album, videos, tour dates, merchandise, social networking, and a ‘fan wall’ for comments. (Remember when music marketing involved record store posters?)
• Faith Hill – She’s launching her first fragrance, called simply ‘Faith Hill’. (What a coincidence … same name!)
• Jay-Z w/Alicia Keys – Tonight they perform “Empire State of Mind” to kick off Game 1 of the World Series in NYC. The Yankees have been blasting the tune throughout their playoff run.
• Led Zeppelin – Fans’ dreams of seeing the rock supergroup back onstage together have been given a boost by confirmation that frontman Robert Plant is considering a slot at next year’s Glastonbury festival in England. (We’ve heard similar rumors before … about a dozen times.)
• Michael Jackson – Today an exhibition of rare MJ memorabilia goes on display in London at the O2 Bubble arena. It includes his navy blue Rolls-Royce, a selection of his trademark gloves & sequined jackets, and a contract from his early days with the Jackson 5.
• Pearl Jam – Their concerts tonight and Friday will be the final shows at the Philadelphia Spectrum. Afterward, the legendary arena is slated to be torn down.
• Rod Stewart – The 64-year-old is making plans for one more baby. He’s already fathered 6 kids, including 4-year-old son Alistair, and now he & wife Penny Lancaster want one more. (The kid will know him as ‘Grandpa Daddy’.)
• Rush – Chris McDonald’s new book, “Rush, Rock Music, and the Middle Class: Dreaming in Middletown”, is published today. More than just rock memorabilia, this academic tome explores ‘the ways in which the band’s critique of suburban life and its strategies for escape reflected middle-class aspirations and anxieties’. (We just thought they were all about head-bangin’.)
• Taylor Swift – The 19-year-old country superstar is rumored to be dating 17-year-old “Twilight” actor Taylor Lautner after they were spotted at a hockey game in LA together. (How confusing. If they get married, she’ll also be Taylor Lautner.)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“This Is It” ( Musical Documentary ): The much-ballyhooed Michael Jackson doc opens wide after premiering yesterday in 15 cities worldwide and ‘advance screenings’ at circa 3,500 theaters. It’s supposedly limited to a 2-week theatrical run but odds are that’ll be extended if the box office continues to percolate. The film was built around rehearsal footage for his scheduled O2 Arena residency in London. Kenny Ortega, Jackson’s choreographer for those shows, is the film’s director. The film is also screening in 123 IMAX theaters internationally. Pre-release tracking surveys suggest the movie could ring up $40 million or more through Sunday. It was originally envisaged as a straight-to-DVD production.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/michaeljacksonthisisit/

DEATH LIST 2009:

Who’ll be the next big-name celeb to kick? 11 of the 50 predicted by the ‘Death List’ website have already departed. These are among those still hanging on …
• Actor Eli Wallach (94).
• Former US First Lady Betty Ford (93).
• Actor Kirk Douglas (93).
• Pseudo-actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (92).
• Evangelist Billy Graham (91).
• Actor Mickey Rooney (89).
• Fashion designer Pierre Cardin (87).
• Bluesman BB King (84).
• Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro (83).
• NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner (79).
NET: http://www.deathlist.net

PALE PLONK PACKS A PUNCH:
Enjoying a glass of white wine on a frequent basis can damage teeth, according to new research from Germany’s Johannes Gutenberg University. The study shows that the acids in white wine erode enamel far more than red wine. It has nothing to do with the wine’s vintage, origin, or alcohol content, but rather its pH and duration of contact with teeth. Eating cheese at the same time help counter the effects because it is rich in calcium, and it’s the calcium in teeth that wine attacks. (This message brought to you by the World Red Wine Makers Association.)
– “Social Studies”

CELEBRITY SIPS:
Lots of famous folk have been flaunting their faces on wine labels of late. And now they’re getting into the hard stuff as well. For instance …
• Dan Aykryod: Crystal Head Vodka – Vodka in a crystal skeleton head!? Will you pay $50 for that?
• Danny Devito: Limoncello – A tiny, bald man with a burger gut selling limoncello liquor. Seems the acting career’s has really gone sour.
• Ed Hardy: Vodka – The bottles are as tacky as the clothing line and you don’t need anything else triggering your gag reflex while you’re knocking em’ back.
• Marilyn Manson: Mansinthe – He came out with his own brand of Absinthe? This explains a lot, actually.
• Donald Trump: Trump Vodka – The Donald thinks this is the absolute best vodka in the world. Much like the best line of suits, the best hotels, the best celebrity reality show …
• Dr Dre: Aftermath Congac – He also has a ‘sparkling vodka’ in the works. He has no choice since his music is so last century.
– CollegeCandy.com

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Peanut-Buttering’ – Spreading the resources of a company or person too thin. (“And now here’s our chief custodian with this morning’s traffic report …”)
• ‘Peep Culture’ – A culture in which many people write about or display the minutiae of their daily lives and others take pleasure in reading or watching. (How stupid. By the way, don’t forget to sign up to follow our Twitter blog …)
• ‘Pop-Up Store’ – A store that opens in a recession-battered shopping center for a fraction of the regular rent, sells off its merchandise, then deliberately closes after a few weeks or months. (“Phantom Discount, serving our local community since last Tuesday.”)

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• Kristiansand, Norway – Customs officers have arrested a 22-year-old ferry commuter for attempted smuggling after he arrived on a boat from Denmark with 14 royal python snakes and 10 albino leopard geckos … taped to his body. (Put this guy in the circus!)
– PA News
• Fort Smith AR – Arkansas animal control officers are searching for a pair of pit bulls that ripped the front bumper off a car … with their teeth. (What the heck are they gonna do if they find them?)
– KHBS News
• Mikowice, Poland – After an 18-month legal battle, a 55-year-old has finally had a case against him thrown out of court on charges of kicking his neighbor’s plastic pail … worth less than 5 bucks. (If this dragged on much longer, he would have kicked his own bucket.)
– Ananova News Service
• Athens GA – A woman has apparently scared off a would-be burglar by … acting like a dog. When a suspicious man tried to turn her front doorknob, she got down on the floor and began scratching at the door and making other dog-like sounds. (“Get lost or I’ll hug your leg!”)
– AP

PLUS-SIZE CLUBS:
Long Beach nightclub Club Bounce is one of a new breed that caters to ‘big people’. We’re talking tubbies who tip the scales at 250, maybe 300 lbs. Not just any fat people, but fat people who are proud to call themselves fat people. At Club Bounce, those who might have trouble getting past the velvet rope at other night spots because of their size are made to feel like they fit right in. Such clubs are still a relatively new phenomenon, with a handful scattered along the California coast from San Diego to San Francisco. (At these joints they call the bouncer ‘Peewee’.)
– Associated Press

AUTOMOTIVE APP:

In many areas talking on your cellphone while driving is against the law. Undeterred by that, researchers in Germany have come up with an iPhone app that allows a cellphone to … drive the car. The ‘iDriver’ app converts the iPhone into a the real-life equivalent of a videogame controller, with separate buttons for accelerating and braking along with a steering wheel that uses the iPhone’s motion-sensitive capabilities. The app, which is not commercially available, is the brainchild of researchers from the artificial intelligence team at the Free University of Berlin. (“Honest officer, I wasn’t texting … just driving!”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.28.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [54] Bill (William Henry III) Gates, Seattle WA, retired Microsoft mogul/world’s wealthiest human 2009 at circa $40 billion/philanthropist (Gates Foundation)

1966 [43] Andy Richter, Grand Rapids MI, TV sidekick (“The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2000)/sometime movie actor (“Blades of Glory”, “Semi-Pro”)

1967 [42] Julia Roberts, Smyrna GA, movie star (“Ocean’s Eleven”, “Oscar-Erin Brockovich”)/mom to twins Hazel & Phinneaus

1969 [40] Ben Harper, Claremont CA, pop singer/guitarist (“Steal My Kisses”, “Diamonds On the Inside”)

1972 [37] Brad Paisley, Glen Dale WV, country singer (“Then”, “Waitin’ On a Woman”)

1974 [35] Joaquin Phoenix, San Juan PR, movie actor (“Reservation Road”, “Walk the Line”)/sometime rapper

1979 [30] Dave Tirio, Villa Park IL, pop-rock guitarist (Plain White T’s-“1,2,3,4”, “Hey There Delilah”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Day”. North Americans collectively eat over 100 lbs of chocolate … every second!

• “Day of International Concern About Young People & Gun Violence”, when students are encouraged to sign a pledge to never bring a gun to school and to never use a gun to settle a personal problem or dispute.

• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, a day to celebrate your stuffed animal collection. ‘Plush’ sounds so much more humane, no?

• “Statue of Liberty Day” in America, honoring the day in 1886 when the Statue of Liberty was dedicated in NYC’s harbor. The statue designed by Frederic Auguste Bartholdi was a gift to the USA from France.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1971 [38] John Lennon & Yoko Ono record “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” in NYC

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1904 [105] 1st use of ‘Fingerprints’ in a police investigation (St Louis MO)

1954 [55] 1st ‘Automatic Toll Collectors’ (1st driver tries to sneak through by tossing in a penny)

COMING UP . . .

[Thurs] Internet Day
[Thurs] World Psoriasis Day
[Fri] 2009 Voodoo Music Experience (New Orleans)
[Fri] Devil’s Night
[Fri] International Bandanna Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Sat] Halloween
This Week Is … Save Your Back Week
This Month Is … Energy Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


AIRLINES OF LAST RESORT:
• Incontinental
• Air Icarus
• Obstructed Airways
• Air AGGGHHH!!!
• Vengeful God Airlines
• Transat
– Thanks to Mike Richardson.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What sport do you wish was more popular?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’ve seen better conversations in alphabet soup …

BS REASONS YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUME SUCKS:

• Young kids will fail to see the humor in your ‘Road Kill Wonder Pets!’ costume.
• Although your ‘Internal Bus Architecture of the Intel Core i7-975 Chip’ costume may be a big hit with other engineers at the office, things are different in the real world.
• Your ‘Naked Hillary Clinton‘ costume is actually more nauseating than scary.
• Nobody likes a farting clown.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: You can lead one of THESE upstairs but not downstairs.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A cow.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Life in a vacuum sucks.


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