Wednesday, April 13, 2005        Edition: #3011
We Give a Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY CTV airs the final “Vicki Gabereau” daytime talk show after 8 years, 1,000 episodes and more than 3,000 guests (apparently she’s got ‘Freedom 58′) . . . TONIGHT Michael W Smith has a leading 8 nominations as the annual “Dove Awards”, the Gospel Music Association honors, are doled out at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry . . . Actor Tom Cruise is going after “The Beast”, a bi-weekly newspaper out of Buffalo NY that named him #39 on its list of ‘The 50 Most Loathsome People in America’, which Cruise claims insinuates he’s a cokehead and a womanizer (chill TC, at least they didn’t call you a ‘manizer’) . . . Devote Roman Catholic Mel Gibson is reportedly set to turn Pope John Paul II’s life-story into a movie and sent a production crew to Rome to film the Pope’s funeral . . . Mick Jagger is said to be furious his 20-year-old model daughter Elizabeth has accepted a $380,000 offer to pose for “Playboy” magazine – even though she’s been assured the nude pics will be ‘very tasteful’ . . . Electronic Arts will release a video game based on “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire”, the first to feature the voices of movie actors from the series . . . Paula Abdul is flogging a new DVD by her voice coaches called “The Ultimate Voice Coach”, for which she’s enlisted the help of “American Idol” sidekick Randy Jackson . . . Oscar-nominated actress Alfre Woodard is joining the cast of ABC-TV’s “Desperate Housewives”, making her first appearance as the newest neighbor on ‘Wisteria Lane’ in this season’s final episode . . . And moneybags Oprah Winfrey has celebrated the 5th anniversary of her magazine “O” by surprising some 100 employees with bonuses of $5,000 each – tax-free! (OK, where can we get a job app?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Akon (Allaune Thiam) – TONIGHT the “Mr Lonely” guy is on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”. A Senegalese African, he moved to the USA when he was 7-years-old.
• Beyoncé – She’s negotiating to star in a movie version of the Broadway musical “Dreamgirls”, which is roughly based on the career of Diana Ross & the Supremes.
• Fleetwood Mac – Mick Fleetwood is the new spokesman for the Energizer “It’s Hip To Hear” program which encourages people to ‘listen to loud music responsibly, so they can hear it for years to come’.
• Mario – TODAY he’s on ABC-TV’s daytime talk show “The View”.
• Martha Reeves – The former Motown singer is planning to run for a seat on Detroit City Council. She can no longer complain about “Nowhere to Run”. (Aretha for mayor!)
• OutKast – Big Boi is whining that he has 17 cars but only space for 6 in his Atlanta-area home. So in order not to store the other 11 vehicles in different locations, he’s building another house.
• Sara Evans – She’s taken over as host of “Nashville Star” because regular host LeAnn Rimes has broken a blood vessel in a vocal cord as the result of severe viral bronchitis. Rimes hopes to be back in time for the APRIL 26th season finalé.
• Sarah McLachlan – She’s been forced to postpone the kick-off of her new tour due to laryngitis. Shows in Victoria BC last night and TONIGHT will have to be re-scheduled.  

BS BUZZWORDS:
Leading edge vocab …
• ‘Open Loops’ – The incomplete tasks and projects in your life that constantly cycle through your head, leading to anxiety, stress, and creative constipation.
• ‘Nouse’ – A peripheral computer device that tracks the movement of the tip of your nose to control a cursor.
• ‘Narcipost’ – A shamelessly egocentric blog post that’s of little interest to anyone besides the person who posted it.
– “Wired” magazine.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Pro sports teams are cleaning up by selling naming rights to their stadiums. The largest of these deals involves the NFL’s Houston Texans who sold their stadium’s naming rights to Reliant Energy for $300 million over 30 years. That’s $10 million a year that the Texans will receive for the next 30 years. That kind of money can help Houston build and secure a competitive team for years to come. (Why not take bids on naming rights to a local amateur sports field, then give all the money to the amateur sports organization? All it’ll cost your station is a sign.)
– AskMen.com

TIPS FOR DATING A CO-WORKER:
• Avoid dating a subordinate.
• Keep your love life to yourself.
• Avoid public displays of affection.
• Avoid electronic love letters.
• Keep your love quarrels at home.
• Don’t let your relationship affect your performance.
• Be ready to move to a new job if things don’t work out.
– CareerBuilder.com

BABY TRANSLATOR:
Researchers at Japan’s Nagasaki University School of Medicine are working to develop a device to read babies’ emotions from their facial expressions, body temperatures and other physical cues. It’s hoped the research will help produce some sort of ‘Expression Translating Device’ so that parents can identify the needs of their children. (The researchers hope to soon be able to sort through the complicated needs expressed by babies – eat, sleep and crap.)
– ABC News Online

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who were are and what we do …
• 72% of people in the African country of Mali earn less than $1 per day. (People who earn a buck-and-a-half are considered snooty.)
• 55% of women and 44% of men think they are photogenic. (If a wide-angle lens is used.)
• 41% of Europeans speak English as a second language. (Funny, so do 41% of Canadians.)
• 34% of pet owners take their critters on vacation with the family. (Because screaming kids just aren’t annoying enough.)
• 20% of us never use mouthwash. (So [co-host], how does it feel to be one of the few?)
• 5% of kids talk on the phone before they go to bed each night. (Likely to a divorced parent.)

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• ‘Ms Wheelchair Wisconsin’ has been stripped of her title because pageant officials say a newspaper photo proves she can stand up. 30-year-old Janeal Lee of Appleton WI, who has Muscular Dystrophy, was snapped by a paper standing among her high school math students. She admits she can walk for brief periods of time but does not feel she should be penalized for ‘not being disabled enough’. She had planned to go to the ‘Ms Wheelchair America’ pageant in JULY with her younger sister who also has MD and won the Minnesota title.
• Two editors at the University of Calgary’s “Gauntlet” student newspaper have been  suspended after publishing a photo of stripper with the professional name of ‘Honey Houston’ wearing a chain-mail bikini at the school’s ‘Sexual Health Awareness Show’. Not only did the student union deride the photo as being in poor taste but a university VP also weighed in, calling it ‘gratuitous, graphic and entirely unacceptable’. A student at the university is so pissed, she’s demanding the paper be shut down – and she’s the stripper!

SEXIEST PIECES OF CLOTHING EVERY MAN SHOULD OWN:
• A pair of jeans that fit well.
• A white T-shirt.
• A short-sleeved shirt.
• A leather jacket.
• Sandals.
• A suit.
• A good watch.
– “The Sun/Fashion”

THE FOOD THAT MAKES US FATTEST:
When researchers from the University of Vermont, the University of British Columbia, and Environ Health Sciences Institute studied the diets of 3,000 teens, they found that no single food provides more calories to their diets than – soft drinks! Fully 13% of a typical teenager’s total daily calories come from sugary soda pops and fruit drinks. That’s even more than cakes and cookies. (Kids, you gotta eat healthy! That’s why I switched from rum ‘n cokes to martinis.)
– “Purdue News”

BS AMAZING FACT:
We’re always hearing about endangered species, but what you may not have heard is that almost 20,000 NEW species of animals were found by researchers LAST YEAR alone, a large proportion of them from the Amazon.
– “The Observer”

AND WE QUOTE:
“Camilla has quite chunky legs, so the hemline was particularly important. The scalloped detail around the bottom drew attention away from her calves. I think she was almost definitely wearing power knickers – there is a big trend for foundation garments like that and a lot of people her age want to make sure there are no lumps and bumps.”
– Elizabeth Emanuel, designer of Princess Diana’s wedding dress, meowing about the wedding ensemble of Prince Charles’ #2 wife, Camilla Parker Bowles.

THE BULL SHEET 04.13.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [66] Paul Sorvino, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Mr 3000”, “GoodFellas”)/actress Mira Sorvino’s pop

1946 [59] Al Green, Forrest City AR, oldies singer (“Let’s Stay Together”, “Tired of Being Alone”)/Songwriters Hall of Fame (2004)

1950 [55] Ron Perlman, NYC, movie actor (“Hellboy”, “Beauty & the Beast”)

1951 [54] Max Weinberg, South Orange NJ, TV bandleader (“Late Night With Conan O’Brien” since 1993)/rock drummer (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band)

1963 [42] Garry Kasparov, Baku, Azerbaijan, youngest-ever World Chess Champion (at age 22 in 1985)/beat IBM’s ‘Big Blue’ computer

1975 [30] Lou Bega, Monaco di Baviera, Germany, one-hit-wonder singer (“Mambo #5″)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Scrabble Day”, honoring one of the world’s most popular games on the birthday of its inventor, Alfred Butts, a jobless architect who came up with the idea during the Depression. The game was just a fad with his friends until a Macy’s executive saw it being played at a resort  in 1952, and soon the world’s largest store began carrying it.
• There are 100 letter tiles and 225 squares on a standard game board.
• National Scrabble Assoc sanctions over 175 tournaments in the US & Canada each year.
• The highest score for a single word is believed to be 392 points by Karl Khoshnaw of Manchester UK for the word ‘caziques’ (West Indian chiefs) in 1982.

SATURDAY the 36th annual “World Champion Cow Chip Throwing Contest” plops into Beaver OK. Since 1970, hopeful chippers have been lining up to see how far they can hurl the bovine frisbees. The distance record has stood since 1979 when the mighty Leland Searcy slung his stool an awesome 182-ft, 3-ins. The contest has evolved into week-long related activities, including a parade, carnival, car show and the ‘Cow Chip Chili Cook-Off’ (ewww!).
PHONER: 580.625.4726 (Beaver County Chamber of Commerce)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1808 [197] William Henry Lane invents the ‘Tap Dance’ (his great-great-granddaughter later invents the ‘Lap Dance’)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [05] Metallica becomes first major recording act to file a copyright infringement suit against online music-sharing service Napster

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1989 [16] Tribunal of Canadian Human Rights Commission rules gay couples can constitute a family (kids begin getting a talk about the ‘birds and the birds’)

1998 [07] World’s 1st cloned sheep ‘Dolly’ gives birth to a baby lamb – the old fashioned way

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [08] At age 21, Tiger Woods becomes youngest to ever to win The Masters and also sets a record by finishing at 18 under par (won his 4th Masters LAST WEEKEND)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “Canadian Idol” auditions (Moncton NB)
[Fri] “The Amityville Horror” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Prince Rainier of Monaco’s funeral
[Fri] Tax Day USA
[Sat] Stress Awareness Day
[Sun] Canadian Equality Day
[Sun] National Blah Blah Blah Day
This Week Is . . . Home Safety Week / Medical Laboratory Week
This Month Is . . . Multicultural Communication Month / Anxiety Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS ‘HERE OR HEREAFTER?’:
Are these former TV stars still with us or have they been permanently cancelled?
• Jackie Coogan, ‘Uncle Fester’ on “The Addams Family”. [DEAD as of 1984.]
• Don Adams, ‘Agent 86′ on “Get Smart”. [ALIVE and turning 79 TODAY.]
• Jean Stapleton, ‘Edith Bunker’ on “All in the Family”. [ALIVE at age 82.]
• Donna Douglas, ‘Elly May Clampett’ on “The Beverly Hillbillies”. [ALIVE and 71.]
• Elizabeth Montgomery, witch ‘Samantha’ on “Bewitched”. [Her nose quit twitching in 1995.]
• Jack Lord, ‘Detective Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii 5-0″. [DEAD in ‘9-8.]
• Harry Morgan, ‘Colonel Potter’ on “M*A*S*H”. [ALIVE at 90.]
• DeForest Kelley, ‘Dr Leonard “Bones” McCoy’ on “Star Trek”. [Left this world in 1999]
• Yvonne DeCarlo, the mom ‘Lily’ on “The Munsters”. [ALIVE at 82.]
• Tony Dow, big brother ‘Wally’ on “Leave It to Beaver”. [ALIVE and turning 60 TODAY.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
A Lafayette LA high school ensured it had an alcohol-free prom on the weekend by installing – a Breathalyzer at the entrance to the gym. Good idea or bad?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Customers are willing to pay 10% more if a restaurant does THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Plays classical music.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
For every ‘10′, there are ten ‘1’s.