Tuesday, April 8, 2008 Edition: #3749
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Boston Legal” (ABC) & “NCIS” (CBS) – New post-writers-strike episodes air.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Sheryl Crow performs her new single “Out of Our Heads” and her classic hit “All I Wanna Do”.
• Rush – The veteran rockers release the 2-disc live set, “Snakes & Arrows Live”.
• “Secret Talents of the Stars” debuts (CBS) – The debut of a new reality show in which judges critique live performances by 16 celebs showcasing their unknown talents. Among those participating: country singer Clint Black; figure skater Sasha Cohen; wrestler Ric Flair; boxer Joe Frazier; oldies singer Sheila E, and the staple of relaity shows … Danny Bonaduce.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Lions for Lambs” ( War Drama ): Tom Cruise & Meryl Streep star as a congressman with an eye on the White House & the TV journalist that he promises an explosive scoop about injured US soldiers in Afghanistan. Robert Redford directs & plays an altruistic college professor.
• “Resurrecting the Champ” ( Drama ): Josh Hartnett plays a sportswriter who saves a homeless guy from getting beaten up, then becomes convinced the destitute old dude (Samuel L Jackson) is a former boxing legend. Co-stars Teri Hatcher. Partially shot in Calgary.
• “There Will Be Blood” ( Period Drama ): A sprawling epic about family, greed, religion, and oil, centered around a turn-of-the-20th-century prospector in the early days of the California petroleum biz. Daniel Day-Lewis won an Academy Award for ‘Best Actor In a Leading Role’. The film also won a ‘Cinematography’ Oscar. Also available in a ‘2-Disc Special Collector’s Edition’.
• “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” ( Comedy ): In another no-holds-barred comedy from producer/writer/ director Judd Apatow (“Superbad”, “Knocked Up”), John C Reilly portrays a wannabe recording star. This faux biopic co-stars Jenna Fischer (“The Office”).
• “The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep” ( Family Adventure ): A young boy discovers a large egg along the shores of Loch Ness which hatches into Scotland’s most fabled creature. Trouble is, the ‘water horse’ grows 10 times its size each day. Stars Emily Watson & Alex Etel.
• Also released TODAY: “Bette Davis Centenary Celebration Collection”; “The Cosby Show: Season 7/Season 8” (Classic TV); “Hell’s Kitchen: Season 1“ (TV); and “Perry Mason: 50th Anniversary Edition” (Classic TV).
DID YOU KNOW?
• Nearly 3 billion people live on less than $2 a day.
• The optimal duration of sexual intercourse is 3-to-13 minutes, according to a survey by researchers at Penn State Univerity, Erie.
• The Tasmanian devil , the largest marsupial carnivore in the world, is facing extinction because of a facial cancer epidemic that renders it unable to see or eat.
– BBC News
BS CHRONOMETER 04.08.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1918  Betty Ford, Chicago IL, former US First Lady/co-founder of rehab clinic that bears her name
1963  Julian Lennon, Liverpool UK, unsuccessful pop singer (“Valotte”, “Too Late for Goodbyes”)/Cynthia & John Lennon’s son
1966  Robin Wright, Dallas TX, movie actress (“Beowulf”, “Forrest Gump”)/Mrs Sean Penn 1996-2007
1968  Patricia Arquette, Chicago IL, TV actress (‘Allison Dubois’ on “Medium” since 2005)/movie actress (“Holes”, “Ed Wood”)/ex-Mrs Nicolas Cage (1995-2001)/sister of actors Roseanna Arquette & David Arquette
1980  Katee Sackhoff, Portland OR, TV actress (‘Starbuck’ on “Battlestar Galactica” since 2004, ‘Sarah Corvus’ on “Bionic Woman” 2007)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bathroom Reading Week”. As we celebrate, let’s be grateful that there’s a ‘porcelain library’ in every home, office and airport.
• “Canadian National Wildlife Week”, first declared in 1947 by an act of Parliament to honor the birth date of Jack Miner (APRIL 10), one of the founders of Canada’s conservation movement and the namesake of the world famous waterfowl sanctuary in Kingsville ON which he established in 1904. He’s credited as a key player in saving Canada Geese from extinction. (Ah, so he’s the reason we can’t walk in the park anymore!)
• “International Feng Shui Awareness Day” (‘fung schway’), celebrating the oriental ‘art of placement’ in which architecture and interiors are situated to blend with their surroundings in order to create greater harmony. It may sound exotic, but virtually every skyscraper being built these days has received input from a feng shui master.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998  Final episode of legendary TV sitcom “Seinfeld” is filmed on high-security set
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994  Body of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain is found, the victim of a self-inflicted shotgun blast (it’s later determined the event occurred several days earlier, likely APRIL 5)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1969  1st ‘International’ Major League Baseball’ as Montréal Expos play 1st regular season game, beating NY Mets 11-10 at NYC’s Shea Stadium
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1974  Hank Aaron breaks Babe Ruth’s career home run record, hitting his 715th MLB homer while playing for Atlanta Braves (finishes career with 755)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Chicken Little Awareness Day
[Wed] Name Yourself Day
[Wed] Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day
[Wed] 2nd “Idol Gives Back“ special (FOX)
[Thurs] Siblings Day
[Thurs] Golfers Day
[Thurs-Apr 13] Masters Golf Tournament (Augusta GA)
This Week Is . . . Drafting Week
This Month Is . . .Holy Humor Month (because a good religion is one with a sense of humor)
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• What’s wrong with my screen? Why does it need to be saved?
• How do I survive without taking essential minerals?
• Did Atlas see a chiropractor?
• What do the Hawaiians have against the consonant?
• If you try to be the most non-competitive person in-the-world, are you?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You are suffering from ‘taresthesia’. What’s the prob?
a. Your foot is asleep. [CORRECT]
b. You can’t stop hiccuping.
c. You have severe earlobe rash.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you’re 35 and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, odds are you’ve made a serious vocational error.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 32% of dieters surveyed say they eventually cheated when offered THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A piece of pie.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Everything is funny … as long as it’s happening to somebody else.