April 30, 2002

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Tuesday, April 30, 2002        Edition: #2286
Just another weird genetic mutation in the great stem-cell research lab of life!

TODAY the soundtrack of the expected blockbuster movie “Spider-Man” is released, including Aerosmith’s take on  the “Theme from Spider-Man” (movie opens FRIDAY) . . . TODAY Paul McCartney’s hand-written lyrics to The Beatles’ mega-hit “Hey Jude” will be auctioned by  Christie’s and are expected to attract well over 100 grand . . . TONIGHT we finally get to see what all the excitement is about (if you have digital TV channels) as MTV Canada begins airing the much-talked-about reality series “The Osbournes” . . . MTV’s next reality series will likely be a real-life look at rap mogul P Diddy, focussing on his professional rather than personal life . . . HBO is developing a reality TV series called “General Manager” which will allow viewers to follow a minor league baseball team and control its decisions on the Internet (hell, give us the Blue Jays — we’ll fix ‘em!) . . . Anna Kournikova is threatening to sue “Penthouse” over a 10-page pictorial in the JUNE issue that the mag says shows the tennis babe in the buff, a claim her camp denies (it doesn’t matter, the mag will end up selling enough issues to pay off a lawsuit) . . . And director George Lucas says the best scene in the upcoming “Indiana Jones 4” starring Harrison Ford will be a scene where all of Indy’s ex-girlfriends show up at the same time (the perfect scene for that bemused and somewhat confused look Harrison Ford likes to don whenever he can).

“Ali”, the biographical film inspired by the life of heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali, starring Will Smith in his Oscar-nominated role . . . The lame no-name comedy “Not Another Teen Movie” spoofs all the other lame teen comedies with parodies of the proverbial type casting (the popular jock, the prom queen, the bitchy cheerleader, the hot tamale foreign exchange student, the desperate virgin, etc) . . . And there are collectors’ DVD editions of the Tom Cruise hit movie “Jerry Maguire”, and the entire 1st season of TV’s “Friends”.

More than 40% of cat and dog owners say they find their pet better company than their partner, according to a Direct Line insurance poll. Women are most likely to opt to spend time with their pets, with 45% saying they prefer being with them, compared with 30% of men. Nearly 9 out of 10 pet owners also say that when they have had a bad day spending time with their pet makes them feel less stressed, while 86% think having a pet at home helps relieve tension. (Yeah right — ever visit someone with a couple of dogs, a cat, some birds and a hamster? Pure tranquility.)

A recent study shows that men who are crazy about dogs make better fathers. The research shows that dog lovers exhibit more love for their children and spend more time with them than men who don’t particularly care for pooches. (But their newspaper toilet training method takes away from the whole thing.)

Radio Paradiso in Berlin, Germany has an odd promotion underway. Its ‘Thousand Babies For Berlin’ campaign is urging listeners to get pregnant because only 1 in 5 Berlin households includes children. Morning announcer and expectant mom Simone Panteleit encourages her audience to ‘Get pregnant with me!’ and plays mushy tunes to get them in the mood. The first 1,000 newborns registered will win toy store vouchers and a place on the waiting list of the kindergarten of their choice. (Similar to [your co-host’s] goal of FATHERING a thousand babies in [your market].)

In Japan using a cell phone in public areas is considered bad manners and, in some cases, is totally banned. So NTT engineers are developing a cell phone that — reads lips. No BS! A sensor near the mouthpiece will detect tiny electrical signals emitted by muscles around the user’s mouth and the phone will then convert them into synthesized speech or text messages. Eventually, callers will be able to mouth words silently into their handsets and avoid disturbing people around them. (How did we ever survive without cell phones, not communicating with someone every 30 seconds?)

Massachusetts Institute of Technology prof Irene Pepperberg is developing special bird-enabled software called ‘InterPet Explorer’ so that parrots can surf the Internet. The animal behaviorist claims parrots are very social creatures, but owners often leave them alone for long periods, creating boredom and stress. She thinks the Web could provide stimulation by showing wildlife and playing music. (And we’d love to visit their chat room.)


1933 [69] Willie Nelson, Abbott TX, Country Music Hall of Fame singer (“On the Road Again”)

1963 [39] Michael Waltrip, Owensboro KY, NASCAR auto racer (2001 Daytona 500 winner)

1971 [31] Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Grande Prairie AB, country singer (“I Don’t Want You to Go”)/2002 Juno Award for ‘Best Country Artist’/2001 CCMA ‘Single Of The Year’ (“Complicated”)/2001 CCMA ‘Album Of The Year’ (“Room With A View”)

1973 [29] Jeff Timmons, LA CA, pop singer (98 Degrees-“The Hardest Thing”)

1982 [20] Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, movie actress (“Bring It On”, “Get Over It”)  NEXT MOVIE: Plays ‘Mary Jane Watson’ in “Spider-Man”, opening FRIDAY

1984 [18] Tyler Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Jimmy’s Got A Girlfriend”, “26 Cents”)

TONIGHT at midnight is the deadline for filing your 2001 income tax return with the Canadian Customs & Revenue Agency.

TODAY is “SpankOut Day USA”, initiated in l998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching children
appropriate behavior.
PHONER: 614-221-8829 (Nadine Block, Center for Effective Discipline, Columbus OH)
NET: http://www.stophitting.com/spankOut/spankOutInfo.php

TODAY is “National Honesty Day”, to celebrate those who are honorable in their dealings with others, on the anniversary of George Washington being inaugurated as the first US president in 1789. Keep that in mind when you’re scrambling to get your income tax in!
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince you proudly announce, “It was me!”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks, “Heavy traffic?” You say, “No, I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• When someone asks why you’re selling a particular item at your garage sale you say: “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When a potential buyer asks why you’re selling your car you say: “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some moron might give me money for it.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight you end up sleeping on the couch.

TODAY is “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, honoring the ‘great contribution snippers and coiffeurs make to our self-esteem’. (So how come women always come home from the salon crying?)

TODAY is “International Walk Day”, a day to strap on those trainers and hit the road as we’re encouraged to walk to school or work if possible. (Gimme a break! Cripes, it’s all the way downstairs in the study.)

TONIGHT is observed as “Walpurgis Night” in many parts of Northern Europe when according to legend witches ride on broomsticks to revel with the devil. The tradition is celebrated by university students in particular (at any local bar). In Sweden, it’s known as the “Feast of Valborg”. In Switzerland, it’s called simply “May Day Eve”. (At [local U], it’s called ‘Kegger’!!!!)

1939 [63] 1st public demonstration of ‘television’ (New York World’s Fair)

1952 [50] 1st toy ever advertised on TV (‘Mr Potato Head’)
• In the beginning ‘Mr Potato Head’ was just a set of eyes, ears and a few noses and mouths. You had to supply your own potato for the body. Nowadays the entire toy is made of plastic.
• ‘Mrs Potato Head’ joined the spudster on toy store shelves in 1953, and the Potato Head kids, ‘Spud’, ‘Yam’ and ‘Sweet Potato’ arrived in 1994.
• ‘Mr. Potato Head’ traded-in his cigars for a pair of running shoes when he became official ‘spokespud’ of the American Cancer Society’s “Great American Smokeout” in the 1980’s.
• Comedian Don Rickles was the voice of ‘Mr Potato Head’ in the “Toy Story” movies.
Source: Hasbro Inc

1986 [16] Ashrita Furman covers 12 miles in 10 hrs, 40 mins –.while doing somersaults! (Massachusetts)

1988 [14] ‘Largest banana split’ measures 4.55 miles long (Pennsylvania)

1999 [03] Frenchman Fabrice Gropaiz skates up to the Arc de Triomphe 28 months and 17,000 miles after leaving Paris, to become 1st to circle the globe on in-line skates

[May 1] May Day / National Law Day / Mother Goose Day / School Principal’s Day / National Teen Day / New Homeowner’s Day / Save the Rhino Day
[May 2] Sibling Appreciation Day / Lumpy Rug Day
[May 3] International Tuba Day / Hug Your Cat Day
[May 4] Relationship Renewal Day / Scrapbook Day / Kentucky Derby
[May 5] Cinco de Mayo / National Cartoonist Day / International UNmothers Day / No Diet Day
[May 6] Be Kind to Animals Week / Goodwill Industries Week / Suicide Awareness Week / Tourism Week / Small Business Week / Safe Kids Week / National Postcard Week / National Wildflower Week / Nurses Week / Teacher Appreciation Week / International Youth Week
[May 6] Melanoma Monday
[May 7] World Red Cross Day / National Teacher Day
[May 8] No Socks Day / Third Shift Workers Day
[May 9] Lost Sock Memorial Day / National Receptionists Day / National Small Business Day / Eat What You Want Day
[May 10] Clean Up Your Room Day / Child Care Provider Appreciation Day
[May 11] Native American Day
[May 12] Mother’s Day / Limerick Day / National Kite Day / International Nurse’s Day (Florence Nightingale’s birthday)
[May 13] Transportation Week / Coach Recognition Week / Historic Preservation Week / National Nursing Home Week / National Police Week / Running & Fitness Week / Stuttering Awareness Week / National Etiquette Week / National Gamblers Week / National Pet Week / National Golf Week
[May 14] Dance Like A Chicken Day
[May 15] Cannes Film Festival opens
[May 16] “Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones” opens / National Biographers Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day / Wear Purple For Peace Day
[May 17] 29th Daytime Emmy Awards / Pack Rat Day
[May 18] National Bike to Work Day / Visit Your Relatives Day / International Museum Day / American Armed Forces Day
[May 19] “The X-Files” series finale / “Survivor: Marquesas” finale / International Peace Day
[May 20] Safe Boating Week / School Support Staff Week / Backyard Games Week / Buckle-Up America Week          
[May 20] Victoria Day / Eliza Doolittle Day
[May 21] National Wait Staff Day / National Memo Day
[May 21] 37th Academy of Country Music (ACM) Awards
[May 22] Rosie O’Donnell talk show finale / Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day
[May 24] Brothers Day / Morning Radio Wise Guy Day / National Escargot Day
[May 25] National Tap Dance Day
[May 26] Indianapolis 500
[May 27] Memorial Day (USA) / National Ancestor Honor Day / 50th Stratford ON Festival opens
[May 28] “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” released on VHS/DVD / Canada’s Walk of Fame enshrinement gala / National Hamburger Day
[May 29] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[May 31] World Cup finals begin (South Korea/Japan) / National Macaroon Day
[June 2] 56th Tony Awards
[June 3] Queen Elizabeth II’s Golden Jubilee Celebration
[June 6] 2002 MTV Movie Awards


What would you like to say as parting words? These people obviously didn’t plan ahead —
• “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.” — revolutionary leader Pancho Villa.
• “OK, I won’t.” — Elvis Presley responding to his girlfriend’s request that he not fall asleep in the bathroom.
• “Monsieur, I beg your pardon.” — Marie Antoinette to her executioner after stepping on his foot accidentally.
• “Dying is a very dull affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.” — Author Somerset Maugham.
• “I am about to, or, I am going to die. Either expression is used.” — Dominique Bouhours, grammarian.
• “Never felt better.” — Actor Douglas Fairbanks Sr.

BS Q & A:
Q: What did the ancient Japanese use to get bricks to the top of the tall buildings they constructed — hot air balloons, kites, or grunts?
A: Kites.

Today’s Question: A recent poll by “Reader’s Digest” says 40% of married couples do this every day. It can be really good or very bad.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Keep secrets from each other.

Reason to smile — every 7 minutes of every day, some keener in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.



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