BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Microsoft has announced it will be starting a new cable network called ‘Xbox TV’ that will be dedicated to simulcasting game footage of people playing on an Xbox 360 (by comparison C-SPAN will seem exciting!) . . .  62-year-old Pete Waterman, who co-wrote the 1987 Rick Astley classic “Never Gonna Give You Up”, says he’s been exploited by Google because they’ve paid him only $16 in royalties for the entire ‘Rickroll’ craze last year on YouTube, when the tune was viewed a whopping 154 million times (now that’s getting rolled!) . . . New stats show that UK music artists have increased their market share in North America for the 4th year in-a-row, now making up 10% of album sales in the US and 15% in Canada . . . Rumor has it 41-year-old once-in-awhile actress Pamela Anderson, currently dating scuba diver Jamie Padgett, is set to wed yet again as one of her designer pals has blabbed that he’s working on a wedding gown for her (what’s that old saying – 4th time’s a charm?) . . . “Top Chef” host Padma Lakshmi, E! talk show host Chelsea Handler, and “Dollhouse” star Eliza Dushku has each stripped for the May issue of “Allure” magazine, called the ‘Nude Issue’ (on stands April 21st) . . . Speculation has it that “Grey’s Anatomy” may be killing off TR Knight’s character ‘George O’Malley’, perhaps in the May 14th season finalé (at this point even Knight doesn’t know his fate) . . . And former reality TV star/sleaze model Tila Tequila has called the cops after returning home to discover a crazed stalker had broken into her house, busted up her living room, and locked her dog in the trunk of her car – then had the brass to phone her later, allegedly making death threats (we wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out the guy works for the ‘Return My Name to the Headlines Agency’).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Tonight’s cheesy song & dance number features the theme “Idols At the Movies”; Jennifer Hudson performs; Miley Cyrus performs; then 1 of the final 7 will be sent packing … unless the much-mentioned judge override kicks in.
• “America’s Next Top Model” (CW/A Channel) – The contestants join singer Ciara onstage for a photo-shoot.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Gene Simmons of Kiss is a guest.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are onstage.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Chris Botti, featuring John Mayer performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s reportedly written a new song called “The Ultimate Betrayal” following reports that her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil’s is expecting a child with another woman. (These people need to move to America … there aren’t any trailer parks in Britain.)
• Chris Brown – He’s reportedly dating Natalie Mejia, a dancer who appeared in the reality show “Pussycat Dolls Presents: Girlicious”. She tells RadarOnline.com that he’s treated her ‘like a gentleman’ at all times and she has no complaints. (Just a tip, hon’ … wear a helmet!)
• Keith Urban – The country star has had his tour bus refitted so that wife Nicole Kidman & daughter Sunday Rose can join him on his North American tour which kicks off in May.
• Pearl Jam – Guitarist Mike McCready says they’ve completed 14 tracks for a new album and are also working on a film with director Cameron Crowe (“Almost Famous”).
• Prince – A super-spiffy version of his “21 Nights in London” book alongside a limited-edition iPod loaded with exclusive content is being offered for $2,100. (For that kind of money, he ought to come to your living room and sing it!)
• Procol Harum – Their 1967 hit “A Whiter Shade of Pale” is the ‘Most Played Song in Public Places’ of the last 75 years, according to a new chart compiled for BBC Radio 2. (What’s the weirdest elevator-music redo of a hit song that you’ve heard recently?)
• Weezer – Trivia: their first-ever gig was opening for actor Keanu Reeves’ band Dogstar.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR VOICE:
Lorna MacDonald, the Lois Marshall Chair in Voice Studies at the University of Toronto, lists ‘staying hydrated’ as the most important factor in preserving your voice, followed by ‘periods of not talking’, and ‘maintaining good physical health’. You might also want to avoid dairy, anything with caffeine (especially coffee), and forgo the booze. Those are the rules to which many long-time pop vocalists willingly adhere in order to maintain their careers. (And there’s no reason why they wouldn’t also apply to broadcasters.)
– CP

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown at who we are and what we do …
• 84% of women admit to snooping through the belongings of a guy they’re dating.
• 50% of doctors regularly prescribe a placebo, according to “Women’s Health”.
• 30% of men admit they’ve cried while watching a sports event.
• 28% of us carry chewing gum around with us at all times.
• 24% of us describe our feet as ‘beautiful’ when describing aspects of ourselves.
• 14% of single people say they’d continue to date someone because they liked their pet.

SOCIAL STUDIES:
• A bacon sandwich really can help cure a hangover, say scientists at Newcastle University’s Center for Life. The reason is chemistry: Bread is high in carbs and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids that help to clear the head. It also works by speeding up metabolism, helping the body get rid of booze more quickly. (The problem is trying to keep it down.)
– “Daily Mirror”
• Someday it may be possible to get the benefits of exercise just by swallowing a pill. A team of University of Texas Southwestern & Duke University researchers has discovered a biochemical pathway in muscles that could be replicated into a possible drug that mimics the effects of exercise. (Fitness trainer 20 years from now: “Hey, time to take your diet pill.” “Aw, can you lift it to my lips?”)
– UPI
• According to a study at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, women who consume meals while listening to classical music take smaller bites and chew their food slower, thereby consuming fewer calories. (Try rubbing some Mozart on your flabby thighs.)
– “Top Health”
• Psychologist Peter Todd of the Max Planck Institute in Munich suggests we should try a dozen mates before making a lifetime choice. Why? He says the mating game can be reduced to a math calculation based on probabilities. So the more relationships you try, the better your odds of success. (Explain to your spouse how you need 10 affairs to save your marriage.)
– “Chance News”

MOST EXPENSIVE AUTOGRAPHS:
5. A piece of paper signed by Jimmy Hendrix has a starting price of $61,000. The guitar icon, who died in 1970, is widely considered the greatest guitarist in the history of rock music.
4. Jimmy Page’s signed guitar is one of the most prized signed possessions on sale at $73,000. The Led Zeppelin star has been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame twice.
3. In 2003, the last copy of the album “Double Fantasy” autographed by John Lennon before he was killed sold for $525,000, making it the most valuable record ever.
2. The highest price ever paid on the open market for a single signed letter was $748,000 in 1991 for a missive written by US president Abraham Lincoln on January 8, 1863.
1. It’s thought the signature of playwright William Shakespeare is the most expensive autograph in the world. Only 6 authentic signatures exist; each one would fetch around $3.7 million.
– “Western Mail”

MOST EXPENSIVE CELEBRITY DIVORCES:
Mel Gibson may soon set a new record for celebrity divorce pay-out. With no indication that the estranged couple had a prenup, his 53-year-old wife Robyn Gibson is legally entitled to half of everything the actor/director/producer earned from the time of their marriage in 1980 to their legal separation – a fortune estimated at nearly $1 billion. It would easily be the biggest divorce settlement in Hollywood history. Among others …
• Producer/director Steven Spielberg shelled out $100 million in his 1989 divorce from actress Amy Irving.
• Singer Neil Diamond forked over $150 million after his 1994 split with Marcia Murphey.
• Former NBA star Michael Jordan ponied up $168 million in his 2006 divorce from wife Juanita.
– People.com

DID YOU KNOW?
Airlines have announced plans to take some 1,700 planes out of service as fewer people fly. The number of planes in storage has jumped 29% in the past year to 2,302, according to aerospace data firm Ascend Worldwide. Eventually, some will be sold, some scrapped, some will sit and collect cobwebs at desert facilities.
– AP

BS CHRONOMETER 04.15.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [50] Emma Thompson, London UK, movie actress (“Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix”, 1992 Oscar-“Howard’s End”)/screenwriter (1995 Oscar-“Sense & Sensibility”)

1968 [41] Ed O’Brien, Oxford UK, rock guitarist (Radiohead-“House of Cards”, Creep”)

1974 [35] Danny Pino, Miami FL, TV actor (‘Scotty Valens’ on “Cold Case” since 2003)

1982 [27] Seth Rogen, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Observe & Report”, “Knocked Up”)/screenwriter (“Drillbit Taylor”, “Superbad“)/TV comedy writer (“Da Ali G Show“ 2003-04)

1984 [25] De’Mar Hamilton, Chicago IL, rock drummer (Plain White T’s-“1,2,3,4”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1990 [19] Emma Watson, Paris, France, movie actress (‘Hermione Granger’ in the “Harry Potter” films, “The Tale of Despereaux”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fast Food Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1955 opening of the 1st McDonald’s franchise in Des Plaines IL. At the time, hamburgers sold for a measly 15 cents, fries for 10. How many customers ate in the new McDonald’s on opening day? None. It was take-out only.

• “Gripers’ Day”, a good day to have listeners call in with life’s little annoyances such as …
– Those stupid little smiley face ads that pop up saying “Helloooo!” when you’re web surfing.
– Ads on ATM machines that make you wait to get your money.
– When TV networks air the same program promo over & over instead of producing a variety.
– Hidden taxes and fees in vacation flights and travel packages.
– Those little dryer sheets that get stuck in your underwear.
So what’s bugging you today?

• “Leonardo Da Vinci Day”, marking the 557th anniversary (1452) of the birth of the Italian painter (“Mona Lisa”) and scientist credited with envisioning numerous inventions like the helicopter, optical lenses and, if you believe author Dan Brown, secret codes.
LESSER KNOWN BS INVENTIONS BY DA VINCI:
– The 3-speed back shaver.
– The tub toaster.
– The steel bristle retina brush.
– The mesh parachute.
– The vibrating pocket-buddy.

• “Rubber Eraser Day”, honoring English chemist Joseph Priestley’s 1770 discovery that a small cube of latex could be used to correct screw-ups. He coined the word ‘eraser’.

• “That Sucks Day”, the 5th annual day celebrating failure, incompetence, dissatisfaction, mediocrity, apathy, chaos, tomfoolery, buffoonery, and jackassery … all things that suck. Here are some cosmic constants that suck …
– Aging. Rigorous scientific studies have shown that 10-out-of-10 people die.
– Health care or lack thereof.
– Dysfunctional families.
– Jobs, bosses, and co-workers.
– Relationships.
– Movies. Books. Service. Cars. Computers.
NET: http://www.thatsucks.net/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [27] Jay Leno makes his first guest appearance on “Late Night With David Letterman”

1983 [26] “Flashdance” starring Jennifer Beals opens in movie theaters

1990 [18] Mona Grudt of Hell, Norway is crowned ‘Miss Universe’ (she’s the beauty queen from Hell!)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1989 [20] “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals peaks at #1 on pop singles chart

2001 [08] Punk rock pioneer Joey Ramone (The Ramones) dies at age 49

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [75] Shankweiler’s Drive-In opens in Orefield PA, the oldest, continuously running drive-in movie theater (home of 23,481 backseat conceptions!)
NET: http://www.shankweilers.com

2008 [01] 1st public running of the signature roller coaster, “Led Zeppelin: The Ride”, at Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach SC as the $400-million theme park officially opens (it later files for bankruptcy after its inaugural season)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] High Five Day
[Thurs] International Stress Awareness Day
[Thurs] Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Fri] Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival opens (Indio CA)
[Fri] “17 Again”, “Crank: High Voltage”, “State of Play” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Record Store Day
This Week Is … Building Safety Week
This Month Is … STD Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

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SCHOOLYARD GAMES FOR UNPOPULAR CHILDREN:
• Hide ‘n Be Lonely
• Goose Goose Goose
• Teeter
• Unhappy-Go-Round
• Kick the Can, Over and Over Again, Angrily
• Studio Apartment
• Very Easy Tag
– Thanks to Greg Knauss

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer for my friends who exercise.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
What’s your spellcheck name? Plug any name into your word processor’s spellcheck system and see what comes out. Often it’s a far cry from the original, sometimes quite hilarious.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Lindsay Lohan is newly single and ready to mingle! She’s posted her profile on dating website eHarmony (for which she no doubt got paid). Love her or hate her, it’s actually kind of funny.
NET: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0d646e2edb/lindsay-lohan-s-eharmony-profile

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which sport or gym activity did you absolutely hate at school?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, you keep the first one of THESE for 2 years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your first job.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Among the things that money can’t buy is what it used to.