Wednesday, April 30, 2008        Edition: #3765
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
It’s predicted that just-released videogame “Grand Theft Auto IV” will sell 6 million copies in its 1st week alone, topping the 1st-week sales of “Halo 3” LAST YEAR (over $300 million) and making it game-maker Rockstar’s biggest hit to date . . . 36-year-old “Baby Mama” star Amy Poehler has announced she’s expecting a real-life baby THIS FALL via her 5-year hubby, former “Arrested Development” actor Will Arnett (talk about life imitating art!) . . . 29-year-old actress Kate Hudson (“Fool’s Gold”) is launching a new line of ‘environmentally-friendly & cruelty-free’ hair products in collaboration with her stylist called ‘David Babaii For WildAid’ (sounds like a charity concert) . . . In her new book, “Thanking the Monkey: Rethinking the Way We Treat Animals”, author Karen Dawn trashes Paris Hilton & Britney Spears as bad role models for kids because of their impulsive pet purchases (Spears has a collection of chihuahuas no one’s seen recently & Hilton has exceeded California’s dog ownership law by keeping 7) . . . Former “Monty Python” comedian John Cleese is enjoying newfound fame in Poland thanks to his appearance in a local bank’s TV ad, and has been asked to judge a ‘Silly Walks Contest’ being held in his honor (the ‘Ministry Of Silly Walks’ sketch 1st aired some 40 years ago) . . . If  you suddenly have the irresistible urge to belt out a tune and share it with the world you now have the ability, thanks to the newly launched “MySpace Karaoke” (NET: http://ksolo.myspace.com/) . . . Singer/actress Hilary Duff is rumored to be destined for the upcoming recycled “Beverly Hills 90210” (CW), playing a Beverly Hills High student who’s into theater acting (just like Shannen Doherty’s character was on the original show) . . . And it’s now confirmed – Britney Spears will reprise her guest role as a dorky receptionist on “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) on the MAY 12th episode (be still our collective heart!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – will.I.am says they will still tour China THIS SUMMER despite the country’s human rights record in Tibet. He agrees the policy is ‘messed up’ but says it’s not right to ‘punish a whole country’.
• Bon Jovi – It seems Melbourne, Australia has a groupie cop or two. Music stars have been getting siren-wailing police escorts through the city that are totally unauthorized. The cop shop was already looking into an incident involving kd lang THIS WEEK and now it seems Bon Jovi has also been given the royal treatment without approval from authorities.
• Kenny Chesney – The official diagnosis of his weekend onstage injury is a hematoma from the ankle down, with most of the damage in his toes. He intends to maintain his tour schedule by taping up the injury and taking pain-killers. Next show is TOMORROW in Austin, Texas.
• Leona Lewis – 21-year-old singer/songwriter/sometime actor Jesse McCartney says he wrote her mega-hit single “Bleeding Love” about his own long-time girlfriend whom he nearly ditched his career for, because the strain of maintaining a long distance relationship was so painful. (No worries now dude, thanks to that one song you’re set for life!)
• Mindy McCready – The oft-troubled country singer has confirmed a report about a long-term affair with baseball pitcher Roger Clemens. Despite his adamant denial, she says she can’t refute any of the details of a “NY Daily News” story claiming they became involved when she was only 15. (Hear that noise? It’s the doors of the Baseball Hall of Fame slamming shut!)
• Ozzy Osbourne – “Ozzfest 2008” will reportedly consist of 2 separate 2-day events, one of which will be in Dallas, Texas AUGUST 9-10. Word is Ozzy will headline one day, Metallica the other. No word yet on the 2nd venue.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Frontman Scott Weiland has been sentenced to 8 days in jail for his NOVEMBER DUI arrest (his 2nd). He better hurry if he’s going to git ‘r done before the STP tour kicks off MAY 17th (his deadline to serve is May 28th). He’s also ordered to complete an 18-month alcohol program, pay a fine circa $2,000, and complete 4-years probation.
• Toby Keith – His recent USO show at Kandahar Base in Afghanistan was interrupted by mortar fire, requiring him and his audience to seek shelter. His 18-show tour lasts 14 days.
• Whitney Houston – Her 30-minute performance at the “Plymouth Jazz Festival” in Trinidad & Tobago ended disappointingly, her voice so raspy she couldn’t hit the high notes on her mega-hit “I Will Always Love You”. But she got paid anyway … a reported $3 million.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Mentor Neil Diamond performs, then another contestant goes.
• ”Good Morning America” (ABC) – 62-year-old Carly Simon promotes her new Brazilian-themed album, “This Kind Of Love”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Def Leppard promotes the new album “Songs From the Sparkle Lounge”.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – “1234“ singer Feist is on.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Josh Groban is the musical guest.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Country’s current ‘It’ girl Taylor Swift performs.
• Madonna – She performs music from her new album “Hard Candy” in a one-off show at NYC’s Roseland Ballroom. It will be webcast live on MSN at 10 pm EDT.
NET: http://www.music.msn.com/
• “The Price Is Right Million Dollar Spectacular” (CBS) – Drew Carey hosts another set of big-money prime-time specials set to air on Wednesday nights for 4 straight weeks.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Augustana (“Boston”) is on stage.

BY THE NUMBERS:
A “BS” snapshot of who we are and the things we do …
• 86% of married people say they’d like their spouse to lose weight.
• 63% of adults now consider sex ‘recreation’.
• 60% of Americans have been fingerprinted at one time or another.
• 44% of us have kept a diary at some point in our lives.
• 37% of Americans have collected unemployment insurance at some point.
• 35% of employees surveyed say the only thing they really look forward to at work is gossiping.
• Just 16% of the world’s 853 cultures ban men from having more than 1 wife at a time (but in all those cultures that permit it, less than 10% of men take advantage according to “Psychology Today”).

THE SECRET OF ETERNAL YOUTH?
The tomato has long been credited with cutting cholesterol and preventing some cancers, and now it seems to have 2 more health-giving benefits: Protection against sunburn; and boosting production of collagen, the protein that keeps skin supple. After their recent study suggested both those benefits, researchers at Britain’s Newcastle University are recommending 2 servings of tomato or tomato-based products per day. These might entail tomato juice, salad, soup or pasta sauce. The benefits are credited to the antioxidant lycopene, the pigment responsible for the tomato’s red skin. (Pizza with tomato sauce … now good for you!)
– BBC News

THE KEY TO HAPPINESS:
A new joint psychology study by Texas Tech and Wichita State University seems to confirm that the way to be happy is … appreciate what you have. That’s not as easy as it sounds. The research suggests that we grow accustomed to our possessions and relationships, and therefore derive less happiness from them. Bottom line – simply having stuff is not the key to happiness. As well as having what you want, you also need to maintain awareness of wanting what you have. (Just give me the Lamborghini, I’ll love it every day … promise.)
– Yahoo! News

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Space officially begins 62 miles up.
• We average just 38 minutes per week in ‘meaningful conversation’ with our kids.
• The number of male births in the US has steadily decreased over the past 30 years. There are 135,000 fewer guys today than in 1970, so the dating pool for females is shrinking.

BS CHRONOMETER 04.30.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [75] Willie Nelson, Fort Worth TX, legendary country singer (“On the Road Again”)/songwriter (“Crazy”)/sometime actor (“The Dukes of Hazzard”)/Farm Aid co-founder (1985)/environmentalist (Willie Nelson Bio-diesel)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1993)

1959 [49] Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (2006-present)/leader of the Conservative Party of Canada (2004-present)

1959 [49] Paul Gross, Calgary AB, former TV actor (“Due South” 1997-99)/movie actor (“Men With Brooms”)  UP NEXT: Writer, producer, director and star of “Passchendaele”, the story of Canada’s role in the WWI battle, scheduled to open in theaters NOVEMBER 11.

1965 [43] Adrian Pasdar, Pittsfield MA, TV actor (‘Nathan Petrelli’ on “Heroes” since 2006)

1971 [37] Chris Henderson, Escatawpa MS, alt-rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“It’s Not My Time”, “Here Without You”)

1971 [37] Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Grande Prairie AB, country singer (“Crybaby”, “Complicated”)’

1973 [35] Akon (Aliuane Badara Thiam), St Louis MO, hip-hop/R&B singer-songwriter-producer (“Don’t Matter”, f/Eminem-“Smack That”)  

1982 [26] Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, movie actress (“Spider-Man” movies, “Elizabethtown”)

1982 [26] Lloyd Banks (Christopher Lloyd), Baltimore MD, G-Unit rapper (f/Busta Rhymes-“Touch It”, f/50 Cent-“On Fire”)

1984 [24] Tyler Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Closets”, “26 Cents”)

1985 [23] Ashley Dupré (Youmans), Beachwood NJ, wannabe singer/call girl (‘Kristen’) who was at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, causing the NY governor to step down

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canada Revenue Agency Income Tax Day”. TONIGHT at midnight is the deadline for filing your 2007 tax return either online or via snail mail. A few facts about income tax …
• If you miss the deadline and owe money, CRA will charge a late-filing penalty of 5% on the balance owing, plus 1% a month up to a year.
• If you’re a chronic late-filer, the penalty jumps to 10%, plus 2% a month … plus interest.
• The self-employed have until JUNE 15 to file, but if they owe they get hit with the same penalties, effective APRIL 30.
• If prosecuted for cheating on your taxes, you face penalties up to 250% plus interest, and possibly jail time of up to 2 years.
• Over the past 50 years, taxes have become the single largest expenditure in an average Canadian family’s budget with the total tax bill for a typical family increasing 1,590% since 1961.
– Edmonton Sun

• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, begun in 1994 to honor the great contribution snippers and coiffeurs make to our self-esteem. Hey, thanks for the ‘Good Hair Day’!

• “Honesty Day”, to celebrate those who are honorable in their dealings with others. Keep that in mind when you’re scrambling to get your income tax in!
, on the anniversary of George Washington being inaugurated as the 1st US president in 1789.

• “International Walk Days”, time to strap on those trainers and hit the road as we’re encouraged to walk to school or work if possible.

• “SpankOut Day”, initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching appropriate behavior.
NET: http://www.StopHitting.org

• “Walpurgis Night” in many parts of Northern Europe, when according to legend witches ride on broomsticks to revel with the devil. The tradition is celebrated by university students in particular (at any local bar). In Sweden, it’s known as the “Feast of Valborg”. In Switzerland, it’s called simply “May Day Eve”. (At [local U], it’s called ‘Kegger’!)

• “Sense Of Smell Day”, the 12th annual at many children’s museums and science centers that focuses on the importance smell plays in our daily lives. Interestingly, scientists have recently discovered that a strong sense of smell is linked to our ability to acquire knowledge. What’s the absolute best smell (cinnamon bun) and the absolute worst (skunk spray)?
NET: http://www.senseofsmell.org/about/nssd05.php

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992 [16] 44 million watch the series finalé of “The Cosby Show” (NBC)

1997 [11] In a 1st for network TV, Ellen DeGeneres ‘comes out’ on her sitcom “Ellen” (ABC)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [03] Cher finally finishes her 3-year “Farewell Never Can Say Goodbye Tour” at the Hollywood Bowl in LA, the 325th concert of the seemingly endless trek, which sold more than 3 million tickets (MAY 6 she begins a 3-year stint at Caesars Palace in Vegas … wouldn’t the Smithsonian be a more appropriate venue?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1939 [69] 1st public demonstration of ‘Television’ (New York World’s Fair)

1952 [56] ‘Mr Potato Head’ becomes the 1st toy advertised on TV (originally it’s just a set of eyes, ears and a few noses & mouths; you have to supply your own potato!)

1999 [09] “Great Gas Out Day” in Canada, when consumers are urged NOT to fill ‘er up in protest over high gas prices (at under 70 cents a litre, we didn’t know how well off we were!)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1986 [22] Ashrita Furman covers 12 miles in 10 hours, 40 minutes … while doing somersaults! (Massachusetts)

1988 [20] ‘Largest Banana Split’ measures 4.55 miles long (Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania)

1999 [09] Frenchman Fabrice Gropaiz skates up to the Arc de Triomphe 28 months and 17,000 miles after leaving Paris to become the 1st to circle the globe … on roller blades

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[May 1] May Day / Law Day / Mother Goose Day / New Homeowner’s Day / Save the Rhino Day / Space Day / Couple Appreciation Day
[May 2] Sibling Appreciation Day / Robert’s Rules Day / “Iron Man”; and “Made of Honor” open in movie theaters / International Tuba Day
[May 3] 2008 Kentucky Derby / Lumpy Rug Day / Hug Your Cat Day
[May 4] International UNmothers Day / Relationship Renewal Day / Scrapbook Day / Weather Observer’s Day
[May 5] Radiohead North American tour begins (West Palm Beach FL) / Music Monday / Cinco de Mayo / Cartoonist Day / No Diet Day
[May 6] Toby Keith’s “35 Biggest Hits” released / Cher’s 3-year engagement at Caesars Palace begins (Las Vegas) / Astronomy Day
[May 8] No Socks Day / World Red Cross Day / Israel Independence Day (Yom Ha’Atzma’Ut)
[May 9] “Tim McGraw ’08 Live Your Voice Tour” begins (Tampa) / Orgasm Day / Lost Sock Memorial Day / Small Business Day
[May 10] Clean Up Your Room Day / Child Care Provider Appreciation Day / Trust Your Intuition Day / Astronomy Day / Carrie Underwood inducted into Grand Ole Opry
[May 11] Mothers Day / Eat What You Want Day / “Survivor: Fans Vs Favorites” 2-hour finalé (CBS/Global)
[May 12] Limerick Day / Kite Day / International Nurse’s Day / Canadian Nursing Week begins
[May 13] Israel’s 60th Anniversary Celebration begins (Jerusalem)
[May 14] 3rd Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day / Dance Like a Chicken Day
[May 14-25] 2008 Cannes Film Festival
[May 15] “CSI” season finalé (CBS)
[May 16] Bike to Work Day / Biographers Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day / Wear Purple For Peace Day / “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”; and “The Midnight Meat Train” open in movie theaters
[May 17] Pack Rat Day / Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour begins (Columbus OH) / New Kids On the Block reunion tour begins (East Rutherford NJ)
[May 18] 43rd ACM Awards (Las Vegas) / Visit Your Relatives Day / International Museum Day
[May 19] Victoria Day / Full ‘Flower’ Moon / International Peace Day / Memo Day
[May 20] Senior Citizens Day / Eliza Doolittle Day
[May 21] “ American Idol“ finalé (FOX) / Wait Staff Day
[May 22] Buy-a-Musical-Instrument Day / “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull” opens in theaters worldwide
[May 23] World Turtle Day / Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
[May 24] Bob Dylan’s 67th birthday concert (St John’s) / International Jazz Day / Brothers Day / Escargot Day
[May 25] 92nd Indianapolis 500 / Tap Dance Day
[May 26] Memorial Day (USA)
[May 27] Ancestor Honor Day
[May 28] Hamburger Day / Senior Health & Fitness Day
[May 30] “Sex & the City: The Movie”; and “Starship Dave” open in movie theaters
[May 31] Macaroon Day / Save Your Hearing Day / World No-Tobacco Day
[Jun 1] 2008 MTV Movie Awards
[Jun 5-8] 37th CMA Music Festival

USA DATES

[May 1] May Day / Law Day / Mother Goose Day / New Homeowner’s Day / Save the Rhino Day / Space Day / Couple Appreciation Day
[May 2] Sibling Appreciation Day / Robert’s Rules Day / “Iron Man”; and “Made of Honor” open in movie theaters / International Tuba Day
[May 2-4] Stagecoach Country Music Festival (Indio CA)
[May 3] 2008 Kentucky Derby / Lumpy Rug Day / Hug Your Cat Day
[May 4] International UNmothers Day / Relationship Renewal Day / Scrapbook Day / Weather Observer’s Day
[May 5] Radiohead North American tour begins (West Palm Beach FL) / Music Monday / Cinco de Mayo / Cartoonist Day / No Diet Day
[May 6] Toby Keith’s “35 Biggest Hits” released / Cher’s 3-year engagement at Caesars Palace begins (Las Vegas) / Astronomy Day / NEA Teacher Day / Nurses’ Week begins
[May 8] No Socks Day / World Red Cross Day / Israel Independence Day (Yom Ha’Atzma’Ut)
[May 9] “Tim McGraw ’08 Live Your Voice Tour” begins (Tampa) / Orgasm Day / Lost Sock Memorial Day / Small Business Day
[May 10] Clean Up Your Room Day / Child Care Provider Appreciation Day / Trust Your Intuition Day / Astronomy Day / Carrie Underwood inducted into Grand Ole Opry
[May 11] Mothers Day / Eat What You Want Day / “Survivor: Fans Vs. Favorites” 2-hour finalé (CBS)
[May 12] Limerick Day / Kite Day / International Nurse’s Day
[May 13] Israel’s 60th Anniversary Celebration begins (Jerusalem)
[May 14] 3rd Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day / Dance Like a Chicken Day / 2008 Cannes Film Festival opens
[May 15] “CSI” season finalé (CBS)
[May 16] Bike to Work Day / Biographers Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day / Wear Purple For Peace Day / “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”; and “The Midnight Meat Train” open in movie theaters
[May 17] US Armed Forces Day / Pack Rat Day / Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour begins (Columbus OH) / New Kids On the Block reunion tour begins (East Rutherford NJ)
[May 18] 43rd ACM Awards (Las Vegas) / Visit Your Relatives Day / International Museum Day
[May 19] Full ‘Flower’ Moon / International Peace Day / Memo Day
[May 20] Senior Citizens Day / Eliza Doolittle Day
[May 21] “ American Idol“ finalé (FOX) / Wait Staff Day
[May 22] Buy-a-Musical-Instrument Day / “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull” opens in theaters worldwide
[May 23] World Turtle Day / Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
[May 24] International Jazz Day / Brothers Day / Escargot Day
[May 25] 92nd Indianapolis 500 / Tap Dance Day
[May 26] Memorial Day
[May 27] Ancestor Honor Day
[May 28] Hamburger Day / Senior Health & Fitness Day
[May 30] “Sex & the City: The Movie”; and “Starship Dave” open in movie theaters
[May 31] Macaroon Day / Save Your Hearing Day / World No-Tobacco Day
[Jun 1] 2008 MTV Movie Awards
[Jun 5-8] 37th CMA Music Festival

BULL’S BITS

BS TOPICS ON WHICH YOU ARE CERTAINLY “SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER”:
• Regrettable bedfellows.
• Errors in cheque bouncing.
• Foods that taste good when you’re hungover.
• People you meet in dive bars.
• The perils of having no health insurance.
• The crushed pipe-dreams of university graduates.
• 1,001 excuses to avoid going to the gym.
• Drunk Jenga.
– Thanks to Mandy Schick

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Constipated people don’t give a crap.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Most of us are at our peak for THIS skill between the ages of 35-and-45.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Spelling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best time to buy anything is last year.