Tuesday, April 25, 2006        Edition: #3268
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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY’s scheduled sentencing of “Survivor” winner Richard Hatch on tax evasion charges has been postponed until MAY 16th (maybe they’re looking at the possibility of putting him on ‘Exile Island’?) . . . TONIGHT NYC’s 12-day “Tribeca Film Festival” opens its 5th year with the controversial film “United 93″, which details the chaos behind the 9/11 flight that crashed in Pennsylvania (“Mission: Impossible III” makes its world premiere at the fest MAY 3rd) . . . Outlandish comic Tom Green is set to launch a 24-hour phone-in talk show online in JUNE in which fans will be able to join Green and his guests as they party in his California home (NET: http://www.tomgreen.com/) . . . Jennifer Aniston says she’s finally given up smoking but not necessarily as a health issue – she wants to get her voice in shape to sing in a movie musical à la Reese Witherspoon or Nicole Kidman . . . Afghanistan’s first rapper, DJ Besho, is trying to bring peace to his country by turning old Afghan love songs into raps, but a local mullah warns that although music is not banned in Islam – getting enjoyment from music is . . . And ABC-TV has announced it will launch a Web-based interactive game in early MAY based on its hit TV show “Lost”, vaguely described as a ‘worldwide mysterious jigsaw puzzle with no winning prize, but the experience will offer clues that could unlock some of the island’s many secrets’ (sounds almost as convoluted as the show).  

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – TODAY his new tribute to folk legend Pete Seeger, “We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions”, is in stores. THIS MORNING he’s flogging it on “Good Morning America”.
• Burton Cummings/Randy Bachman – TODAY “The Bachman Cummings Songbook” is out, a compilation of classic material from the Guess Who, Bachman-Turner Overdrive and Burton Cummings as a solo artist, all packaged together for the first time.
• Celine Dion – She’s been forced to cancel several days of her Las Vegas shows at Caesar’s Palace due to a serious stomach virus.
• Garth Brooks – He’s filmed a PSA that will be shown in NHL arenas throughout the Stanley Cup playoffs on behalf of the Garth Brooks Teammates for Kids Foundation, the official children’s charity of the National Hockey League Players’ Association.
• Kenny Rogers – He’ll attempt to further jumpstart his career after appearing on “American Idol” by guesting on TODAY’s edition of the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• LL Cool J – TONIGHT he appears on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”. At the weekend “Hip-Hop Summit on Financial Empowerment” in NYC, he urged fans and rappers alike to be more responsible with their money.
• Rihanna – TODAY the “SOS” singer is on syndicated TV’s “Live With Regis & Kelly”. Her new album, “A Girl Like Me”, is in stores TODAY.
• Smashing Pumpkins – It’s official, they’re back together and writing songs for their first album since 2000. No release date’s been set, but they plan to begin recording THIS SUMMER.
• Travis Tritt – He’ll begin recording a new album early NEXT YEAR, produced by “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson.
• Also in music stores TODAY: Goo Goo Dolls’ “Let Love In”; The Streets’ “Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living”; MercyMe’s “Coming Up to Breathe”; and Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris’ “All the Roadrunning”.

TODAY’S DVD RELEASES:
• “Aeon Flux” ( Sci-Fi Thriller ): Charlize Theron steps into the skin-tight spandex of ‘Aeon Flux’ in this live action adaptation of the cult MTV animated series. The mysterious assassin and rebel agent battles a totalitarian regime in the 25th century. Production was delayed for over a month while Theron recuperated from a neck injury she sustained while doing a stunt.
• “Casanova” ( Romantic Comedy ): Fresh off “Brokeback Mountain”, Heath Ledger plays the legendary ladies’ man, who meets his match in a headstrong beauty (Sienna Miller) that takes great pleasure in defying the social conventions of 18th-century Venetian society.
• “Match Point” ( Romantic Drama ): Jonathan Rhys Meyers & Scarlett Johansson star in Woody Allen’s story of a former tennis pro who falls for a femme-fatal who just happens to be dating his friend and soon-to-be brother-in-law. Shot entirely in England.
• “Shopgirl” ( Romantic Drama ): Steve Martin wrote and stars in this adaptation of his novella about a single young woman (Claire Danes) working at Saks Fifth Avenue and her love life with 2 very different suitors – a wealthy and cultured entrepreneur (Martin) and an offbeat young artist (Jason Schwartzman).
• “Tristan & Isolde” ( Romantic Drama ): James Franco is loyal English warrior ‘Tristan’ and Sophia Myles is lovely Irish princess ‘Isolde’, a Dark Ages “Romeo and Juliet”-type pair from warring tribes who fall in love when she secretly nurses the wounded soldier to health, and are torn apart when she’s wedded to her lover’s king to bring peace.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “Law and Order: Trial by Jury – The Complete Series”; and Adam Sandler’s “The Wedding Singer: Totally Awesome Edition”.

HOW FINE THY BOOTY?
A psychology professor at the UK’s Manchester Metropolitan University has devised a mathematical formula designed to rate your … butt. After researching the junk in the trunk of some 2,000 women, Dr David Holmes has devised the formula (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V, where S is the overall shape, C represents how spherical the cheeks, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, F measures firmness, V is the hip to waist ratio, and T equals the skin texture and presence of cellulite. In conclusion, Holmes says the perfect female derriere has ‘firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin’. (What an excuse to ogle a whole lotta tush!)
– “Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
Children born to women under 25 are twice as likely to live to age 100.

EXPENSIVE NIGHTCAP:
A cognac produced during the French Revolution may be the world’s most expensive drink on sale. The 1790 bottle of cognac, produced 3 years before Louis XVI was beheaded, is available to bar patrons at London hotel The Lanesborough. A single shot is priced at – $3,000! (Of course, this is in London, where even a pint of ale is likely to set you back about 8 bucks.)
– “Daily Mirror”

REASONS TO QUIT:
A poll of some 8,000 employees who are ready to move on to a new job asks what’s motivated them to make the decision to leave. Here are the top responses …
10. Long Commute (9%)
9. Poor Relations with Management (10%)
8. Impact on Health and/or Stress Level (11%)
7. Lack of Job Security (12%)
6. Inadequate Opportunities for Professional Development (15%)
5. Inadequate Benefits (17%)
4. Boredom (20%)
3. Lack of Recognition or Appreciation (34%)
2. Little Opportunity for Career Advancement (37%)
1. Not Enough Salary (57%)
– Salary.com

FUTURE STAR TREK:
An inflatable hotel that will orbit the Earth is being developed by American hotelier Robert Bigelow, who hopes to kick-start interest in space tourism. He’s promising to invest close to $500-million in the hotel, which would be launched on rockets and self-inflate to its full size once it reaches orbit. The hotel’s 1-foot-thick skin would be made of a toughened combination of multi-layered polymer and Kevlar to allow it to expand while keeping guests protected from space meteorites. Bigelow hopes to open the hotel sometime after 2015, and suggests it could be used as a shooting location for moviemakers. (Now there’s a great spot to send David Spade!)
– “GQ”

IS IT TRUTH OR BS?
Here are 4 subtle signs of lying, according to a recent study …
• Disparity: Watch carefully and you’re likely to see a mismatch between the liar’s tone of voice and facial expression. (Says “I love you” while staring at your chest.)
• Formal Speech: This is characterized by long words and painfully correct grammar. The liar is likely to use the full form of words and phrases that would normally be shortened so the speech sounds scripted instead of natural. (“Good morning, sir. I am unable to report to the workplace today due to an insufferable bout of the stomach flu.”)
• Hand Gestures: Liars use hand gestures 25% more frequently than the truth-tellers, largely to reinforce their point, such as holding hands apart to show size, or repeated pointing to emphasize statements. (“I caught a fish THIS big.”)
• Justification: Question the liar and he or she will attempt to justify every detail with lengthy explanations. (“I did so meet George Clooney. It was on a Friday afternoon in 2003 at a car wash in Saskatoon …”)
– BBC News

THE BULL SHEET 04.25.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [66] Al Pacino, South Bronx NY, 5′-6″ movie actor (“Two for the Money”, 1992 Oscar-“Scent of a Woman”)  COMING UP: The crime drama “88 Minutes”, recently shot in Vancouver.

1945 [61] Bjorn Ulvaeus, Gothenburg, Sweden, really rich retired pop singer (ABBA-“Dancing Queen”)  FACTOID: The band’s enjoyed a recent revival thanks to the stage musical, “Mama Mia”, which Tom Hanks has now optioned for a movie version.

1964 [42] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/’Chief Wiggum’/’Apu’/’Comic Book Guy’/’Cletus’/’Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [37] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (2003 Oscar-“Cold Mountain”, “Bridget Jones’ Diary”)/ex-Mrs Kenny Chesney (May 9-December 20, 2005)  UP NEXT: Plays children’s author Beatrix Potter in “Miss Potter”, now shooting on the Isle of Man UK.

1970 [36] Jason Lee, Orange CA, TV actor (‘Earl Hickey’ on “My Name Is Earl”)/movie actor (“Almost Famous”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Anzac Day”, a public holiday in Australia & New Zealand commemorating the 1915 landing at Gallipoli of the Australian & New Zealand Army Corps, during World War I. Their incredible courage and bravery in the face of overwhelming odds may be one reason TOMORROW is designated “Hug an Australian Day”. You can figure out an appropriate toast using this dictionary of Australian slang …
NET: http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

• “Good Telephone Day”, promoting phone etiquette, including answering by the 3rd ring, keeping holds to a minimum, thanking callers, and not hanging up without warning. Ask listeners for businesses that give ‘good phone’ or, for that matter, that actually have a human answering the phone.

• “Martin Waldseemuller Remembrance Day”, commemorating the man who gave the Americas their name 499 years ago TODAY (1507). The German mapmaker named the New World after minor explorer Amerigo Vespucci, whom he mistakenly thought had discovered it. There were many others more deserving that he could have selected, including Columbus, Cabot, Cartier, Champlain, Hudson, or even Leif Eriksson.
There were many  others more deserving that he could have selected including Columbus, Cortez, Coronado, DeSoto, Champlain, or even Leif Eriksson.

• “World Penguin Day”, an annual excuse to salute one of the few natives of Antarctica by wearing penguin colors – black and white. A send-up of 2005’s surprise-hit movie documentary “March of the Penguins” is being developed. “Farce of the Penguins”, narrated by Samuel L Jackson, will feature the voices of Adam Duritz, Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Jon Lovitz, John Stamos, and James Belushi, among others. It’s due for release later THIS YEAR.

• “Yom Hashoah”, the annual Jewish observance of “Holocaust Memorial Day”.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1997 [09] U2’s “PopMart” tour kicks off in Las Vegas, featuring world’s largest video screen, a 35-ft mirrored lemon, a 100-ft golden arch, and a giant stuffed olive on a 100-ft toothpick

2002 [04] TLC’s Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes is killed in a car-crash in La Cieba, Honduras at age 30

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1950 [56] 1st Dunkin Donuts shop opens

1953 [53] Discovery of ‘DNA’ is announced (important to the future cloning of your Golden Retriever)

1959 [47] St Lawrence Seaway 1st opens to shipping traffic

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1955 [51] Philip Yazdzik eats record 72 hamburgers at one sitting in Chicago (then sets another record for Rolaids)

1972 [34] A cat named ‘Paula’ falls 26 stories in Toronto – and lives!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] International Noise Awareness Day
[Wed] Administrative Professionals Day
[Wed] Richter Scale Day
[Wed] Pretzel Day
[Thurs] Hairball Awareness Day
[Thurs] Sense of Smell Day
[Fri] “2006 Daytime Emmy Awards”
[Fri] Kiss Your Mate Day
This Week Is … Canada-US Goodwill Week
This Month Is … Multicultural Communication Month

BULL’S BITS  

Whether it’s “Silent Hill”, “Stay Alive”, “When a Stranger Calls”, or even “Scary Movie 4″, you’d think movie characters would have learned by now …
HOW TO SURVIVE A HORROR MOVIE:
• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
• When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it’s really dead.
• If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
• If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice … more if you are female.
• Beware of strangers bearing all tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, soldering irons, etc.
• If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

BS QUICK PICK TRIVIA:
• How long does the average shopping cart last?
a. 10 years
b. 5 years
c. In my apartment building parking lot – forever!
[Circa 10 years. During that time, the wheels are replaced about 3 times.]

• What do you get when you cross a sheep & a goat?
a. Shoat
b. Geep
c. Sham
[It can be called either a ‘geep’ or a ‘shoat’.]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: These days if you are average, you go through 9 of THESE by the time you’re 32.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Jobs.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
All bad things must come to an end, too.