April 22, 2015

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Wednesday, April 22, 2015        Edition: #5435

Sheet for Brains!

★ “Full House” is returning to TV for a 13-episode reunion show on Netflix. Called “Fuller House”, the reboot will focus on Candace Cameron Bure’s character ‘DJ Tanner’ and her best friend ‘Kimmy Gibbler’ (Andrea Barber). Other original cast members, including Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos – who is a producer on the show – are expected to make regular appearances. Stamos hopes Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen will make at least a cameo. “Full House” aired on ABC-TV 1987-95.
– Canoe.ca
★ Late night TV personality Jon Stewart now has a firm departure date from Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show”. He’s announced he will leave the show after its August 6th broadcast. The disclosure paves the way for the show’s new host Trevor Noah. Stewart has yet to offer any details about what he might do for his final broadcast, but has reiterated that there will be a contest beforehand giving a viewer the chance to attend the program’s last taping.
– Variety.com
★ 39-year-old movie star Charlize Theron appears on the latest cover of “W” magazine and opens up about why choosing to be a mom in her 30s has given her a new perspective on getting older. Theron, who is mom to 3-year-old Jackson, says she’s comfortable at a slower pace now. She admits she used to always be in a rush, feeling like time was running. Now that she’s older, she says, she just tries to enjoy her life without feeling like she’s missing out on anything. Her best advice? “Calm down.”
– WMagazine.com
★ 81-year-old country legend Willie Nelson (whose new single with Merle Haggard is “It’s All Going to Pot”) has confirmed he’ll market his own brand of cannabis called Willie’s Reserve. He says he’s working with the best growers in Colorado and Washington to ensure that his product will be the best on the market. He’s not the first to dive into the bud biz: Snoop Dogg endorses vaporizing products; classic rocker Melissa Etheridge is developing marijuana-infused wine; and Bethenny Frankel (Skinnygirl Cocktails) is working on an appetite-friendly strain of (you guessed it) Skinnygirl weed.
– RollingStone.com

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The finalists perform on ‘Arena Anthems’ night; a contestant is eliminated from competition.
• “The Americans” (FX) – 3rd season finalé, an episode entitled “March 8, 1983”. That was the date US president Ronald Reagan called the USSR an ‘evil empire’.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Aloe Blacc (“Lift Your Spirit”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Natalie La Rose & Jeremih (“Somebody”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Chet Faker (“Built on Glass”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Natalie Prass (“Natalie Prass”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Natalie La Rose again.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Arcade Fire drummer Jeremy Gara.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Dawes (“All Your Favorite Bands”, out June 2nd).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Flo Rida (“My House”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Kenny Chesney (“The Big Revival”).

• AC/DC – Drummer Phil Rudd has pleaded guilty in a New Zealand court to charges of threatening to kill and possession of drugs. Rudd faces up to 7 years in jail for the threat charge, a total of 9 months for the drugs. His position with the band now appears in doubt. They played last week’s Coachella festival in California with Chris Slade replacing him as drummer.
• Ariana Grande – After dating for 8 months, she & rapper Big Sean have split. Ariana’s rep has confirmed the break-up, claiming they “remain close friends”. A source tells “Us Weekly” the couple actually parted ways a few weeks ago.
• Christina Aguilera – Online buzz suggests … she might have new butt implants. That earth-shattering idea got started after she was pictured at the 2-year anniversary of Chinese restaurant Hakkasan in Las Vegas, looking extra curvy.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow have used their business managers to work out a an agreement for custody of their children and possession of their property. That means their “conscious uncoupling” (aka divorce) is a done deal and just needs to be signed off by a judge.
• Neil Young – He’s been announced as another headliner for the inaugural WayHome Music & Arts Festival at Burl’s Creek Event Grounds near Barrie, Ontario July 24-26. Sam Smith, Kendrick Lamar, Alt-J, Modest Mouse, and Hozier have previously been announced.
• One Direction – Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, who directed the “One Direction: This Is Us” documentary, says he believes the group will stay together as a foursome for a little while but then predicts Harry Styles will follow in Zayn Malik’s footsteps and walk away.
• Sam Smith – He lost more than 14 lbs in the first 2 weeks of his current weightless plan, thanks to hitting the gym and eating healthy, and has dropped additional weight in the weeks since.

A camera powered by the light it uses to take pictures has been invented at the computer vision lab at NYC’s Columbia University. The camera generates power by converting some of the light falling on its sensor into electricity, which is then used to take a snap. Theoretically the self-powered device could take a picture every second … forever. The camera’s creators are now refining the device and are looking into ways to commercialize the technology. It’s thought that a camera that can function as an untethered device, without any external power supply, could be incredibly useful. And it’s self-powering sensor could also be used to lower the power consumption needs of smartphones and other gadgets. (Time-lapse photography is about to get awesome!)
– Photonics.com

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 51% of us say we’d rather attend a funeral than pay our taxes. (Hey 7 or 8 of them, no prob.)
• 27% of us admit we regularly snack at the grocery store. (Legal as long as you get the empty package scanned.)
• 20% of us have missed out on a promotion at work because we dress too casually. (VPs don’t wear sweatpants.)
• 17% of pet owners allow their pets to sit on their laps while they’re driving. (We saw a motorcyclist on a Harley do this!)
• 12% have asked for help with gas money while out on a date. (Pitiful.)
• 6% of social media users say they regret posting pictures of food. (Then stop. Please.)

As a reward for abiding by the rules of the road, 2 drivers in Dubai UAE have been given … brand new cars. The freebies are part of the emirate’s ‘White Points’ project, which aims to provide incentives for good driving. Motorists who steer clear of any driving offences for an entire year are entered into a raffle, with the top prize being a new vehicle. Police say it’s helping to reduce the number of road deaths in the emirate, which they want to reduce to zero by the year 2020. The program, which began in 2012, awards prizes to 1,500 people in total each year, but they don’t all win a car. Other rewards include gift vouchers and hotel stays. (We need this here!)
– “Gulf News”

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Borecore’ – Online content that shows people performing mundane tasks. (That live webcam in your studio, for instance.)
• ‘Niephlings’ – A person’s nieces and nephews. (“You give Uncle Dave & Aunt Dolly a lift and I’ll bring all the niephlings in the van.”)
• ‘Petrichor’ –  Website IFL Science says it’s a term for ‘the smell of rain’. (“Partly cloudy today with a 50% probability of petrichor …”)

People who live to see 100 in the Central Asian state of Uzbekistan are in line for a cash bonus under a new government program. Elderly people will be given about $30 per month after they reach their centenary. That may not sound like much, but it’s equivalent to the country’s monthly minimum wage, and it will be paid in addition to existing pensions. It’s Uzbek tradition to give each new year a name, and 2015 has been declared The Year of Care For the Elderly. While the centenarian bonus might seem like a windfall, not many Uzbeks make it to such a grand old age. According to World Bank data, life expectancy for women in Uzbekistan is 71.7 years, and for men it’s just 65. (So, total cost of the new program to the government … about 60 bucks.)
– “Central Asian News”

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, a staple of kids everywhere, may seem to glow a bit less beginning next year. Kraft Foods has announced that Original Kraft Macaroni & Cheese will be made without artificial preservatives or synthetic colors starting in January 2016. Kraft says it will replace the color additives with colors derived from natural sources such as paprika, annatto, and turmeric. It insists its Mac & Cheese will look and taste the same. The move comes amid mounting consumer pressure to simplify ingredients on food labels. Other big names – from Nestle to Hershey to Frito-Lay – have already announced steps to remove artificial dyes from products. The consumer advocacy group Center for Science In the Public Interest claims that certain dyes can trigger hyperactivity in children. (Yeah, that’s your bratty kid’s problem … orange dye.)
– “USA Today”

120-lb competitive eater Molly Schuyler has set another record by wolfing down three 72-ounce steak dinners in 20 minutes. And there was more than just beef involved … also 3 baked potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 salads, and 3 rolls. She accomplished the ferocious feat at The Big Texan restaurant in Amarillo TX. The mother of 4 finished her first steak in 4 minutes,18 seconds, beating her own previous record. She says she may be back again next year. Quote: “Four steaks is totally doable, but 5 is almost unattainable.”
– “Amarillo Globe-News”

• Knitting, crocheting, weaving and quilting offer significant mental health benefits.
– NPR.org
• There’s no scientific evidence that eating high-cholesterol foods like eggs and shrimp causes dangerous cholesterol buildup in the arteries of most people.
– AARP.org
• Ancient Egyptian workmen building a king’s tomb received sick pay and state-supported healthcare.
– Mashable.com


1937 [78] Jack Nicholson, Neptune City NJ, movie actor (“The Bucket List”)/3-time Oscar winner (“As Good As It Gets”, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, “Terms of Endearment”)

1959 [56] Ryan Stiles, Seattle WA, improv comedian/TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” since 2013 on CW, 1998-2007 on ABC, 1988-98 on UK’s Channel 4)

1974 [41] Shavo Odadjian, Yerevan, Armenia, alt-rock bassist (System Of A Down-“Hypnotize”, “Aerials”)

1979 [36] Daniel Johns, Newcastle, Australia, rock singer-guitarist (Silverchair-“Straight Lines”, “The Greatest View”)

1986 [29] Amber Heard, Austin TX, movie actress (“Machete Kills”, “The Rum Diary”)/Mrs Johnny Depp (as of February 3rd)  UP NEXT: “Magic Mike XXL”, opening July 1st.

1986 [29] Marshawn (‘The Beast’) Lynch, Oakland CA, NFL running back (2014 Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks)

• “Administrative Professionals Day” (“Secretaries Day” in ancient times), the 63rd annual observance saluting those dedicated souls in the office who do the work in the trenches.
NET: http://www.iaap-hq.org/events/apw

• “Earth Day”, the 45th anniversary of the international celebration of the planet we all call home. Begun in 1970, it’s now the largest environmental event worldwide. Last year, people in close to 200 countries participated in events that addressed environmental issues.
NET: http://www.earthday.org

• “Girl Guide/Scout Leader Appreciation Day”, observed since 1982 to honor the many adult volunteers who help keep the program running. Thanks, ‘Brown Owl’!

• “Jelly Bean Day”. Originally they only came in a few colors but nowadays you can get them in lip-smacking flavors like Toasted Marshmallow, Café Latte, Margarita, A&W Root Beer, Bubble Gum, Strawberry Cheesecake, Buttered Popcorn, and Pina Colada.
NET: https://jellybelly.com

2011 [04] A judge orders actress Lindsay Lohan to 120 days in jail for violating terms of her probation after he’s charged with theft of an expensive necklace from a Venice CA boutique (she serves a few hours of hard time, then files an appeal)

1990 [25] Rocker Sammy Hagar opens the ‘Cabo Wabo Cantina’ club in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (still going strong!)

1998 [17] ‘Animal Kingdom’ opens at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida

1994 [21] World’s ‘Largest Lollipop’ weighs in at 3,011 lbs (Olstrup, Denmark)

[Thurs] Lost Dog Awareness Day
[Thurs] Movie Theater Day
[Thurs] Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day (USA)
[Thurs] Talk Like Shakespeare Day
[Fri] Hairball Awareness Day
[Sat] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Crime Victims Week
This Month Is … Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month


✓ Try to close the refrigerator slowly enough to catch what it looks like with the lights off.
✓ Keep your headphones on after your music stops and not realizing until hours later.
✓ Pretend you’re in an action movie when you’re out for a run.
✓ Look at a price tag and find out the store you’re in is way out of your price range, but then stay a while anyway like you’re totally unfazed.
✓ Circle around your apartment whenever you talk on the phone.
✓ Shout for no reason when you know no one is around.
✓ Turn the map to the direction that corresponds to the one you are heading to.
✓ Set the alarm for 10 minutes earlier than needed, then oversleep anyway.
✓ Look for your sunglasses when they are right on top of your head.
✓ Arrange stuff into the right place and then forget where the right place is.
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

You’re right. There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team’ … but there are 4 of them in ‘Platitude-Quoting Idiot’.

☎ What’s your best tip on preventing tears while cutting onions? (Wear goggles? Put a piece of bread in your mouth? Chop near an open flame? Chop under cold water?)

Question: People worldwide spend an average of 6.5 hours per week doing THIS at home.
Answer: Cooking.

It’s not who you know … it’s whom you know.

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