BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Peaches Geldof received her weird name thanks to her musician/philanthropist father Bob Geldof, and now she’s tagged her 1st child (a son) with the hideous name ‘Astala’ (apparently cruelty is genetic) . . . 50-year-old Rich Ross has resigned as head of Disney’s film studio just weeks after its sci-fi movie “John Carter” became one of the biggest flops of all-time (we can also thank him for “High School Musical” and “Hannah Montana” during his TV years) . . . Pop singer-turned-designer Victoria Beckham has unveiled the ‘Range Rover Victoria Beckham Special Edition Evoque’ in Beijing, China, saying she thought about her soccer star-hubby’s likes & dislikes while working on the vehicle (he must have expensive taste, it costs circa $129,000) . . . 25-year-old “Glee” star Lea Michele (‘Rachel Berry’) has plunked down $1.4 million for a 2-bedroom, 2-bath home with a solar-heated saltwater swimming pool in Los Angeles (modest by Hollywood standards) . . . 32-year-old former glamour model Alicia Douvall tells Brit tabloid “The Sun” that she ‘did it’ with Simon Cowell (52) 11 times in 1 night during a 6-month fling they had after meeting in a London hotel bar (quote: “Every time he would analyze my performance and say how there could be an improvement next time”) . . . And actress Helena Bonham Carter tells “Style” magazine she wore a diaper on the set of “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince” because she had a weak bladder after the birth of her 2nd child (gee, thanks so much for sharing).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Jason Mraz (“Love Is a Four Letter Word”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The couples face elimination; Boyz II Men (“Twenty”) perform.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Arkells (“Michigan Left”); Cory Monteith (“Glee”).
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – The club pays homage to Whitney Houston.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Vintage Trouble (“Bomb Shelter Sessions”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kasabian (“Velociraptor”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Dave Matthews (“Live Trax Vol 21”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Train (“California 37”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – The Wanted (“Battleground”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Beirut (“The Rip Tide”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The contestants face elimination.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – The 29-year-old says she likes to ‘play’ with her appearance, doing her own hair and make-up before she goes on stage, because she finds it ‘relaxing’. (It also makes for 2 less people to pay for while on tour.)
• Ellie Goulding – She’s considering abandoning Britain and permanently moving to Los Angeles since sparking up a relationship with producer/performer Skrillex. Quote: “I scarily love LA a lot so I’m thinking about moving here.”
• Gotye – He’s slammed the “Glee” version of his hit “Somebody That I Used to Know”, calling it ‘ultra dry’.
• Jack White – Today his much-anticipated 1st solo album, “Blunderbuss”, is released. The 13-track set includes new tunes that he says have “nothing to do with anyone or anything else but my own expression, my own colors on my own canvas.”
• Jessie J – With her latest single “Laserlight”, she’s become the only British solo artist to have 6 top-10 chart singles from a single album (“Who You Are”).
• Katy Perry – A source tells “Life & Style” her new boyfriend is apparently Florence & The Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd. Her divorce from Russell Brand is expected to be finalized in June.
• Neil Diamond – The 71-year-old crooner has married for a 3rd time, wedding his manager Katie McNeil (42) in an intimate ceremony in front of family and friends in LA. (His 2nd marriage led to one of the most expensive divorces in the biz, with a reported $150-million settlement.)
• Nicki Minaj – She says she feels guilty about upsetting her 11 million followers by closing down her Twitter account, but admits she’s enjoying her time away from social networking. At this point she’s unsure whether or not she’ll return to tweeting.
• Ricky Martin – He’s finally sold his Miami Beach home almost 5 years after putting it on the market. He bought the 10,000-sq-ft mansion for $10 million in 2005 and was forced to accept an offer just $600,000 above his purchase price in order to offload the hovel.
• Rihanna – She’s reportedly been house-hunting in London, looking for a place to live for 3 months while she shoots a new fashion reality TV series for the UK’s Sky Living channel.
• Rolling Stones – A new bio-pic will focus on the tumultuous relationship between Mick Jagger and Keith Richards as they recorded the 1972 album “Exile on Main Street”. It’s based on Robert Greenfield’s 2008 book “Exile on Main Street: A Season in Hell”. Casting has not yet begun on the film.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Contraband” ( R-Rated Action ): Mark Wahlberg stars as a former smuggler who heads to Panama to score millions-of-dollars in counterfeit bills in order to protect his brother-in-law from a drug lord. Co-stars Giovanni Ribisi, Kate Beckinsale. Shot in New Orleans and Panama City.
• “Dark Tide” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Halle Berry plays a shark expert whose business has been failing since a shark attack killed a fellow diver. As bills pile up an ex-boyfriend offers her a lucrative opportunity. Most memorable as the movie on which Berry met fiancé  Olivier Martinez.
• “11-11-11” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): “Saw” director Darren Lynn Bousman’s latest fright-flick follows an author who travels to Barcelona, Spain where he learns that his life is plagued by events that occur on 11/11/11. Stars Timothy Gibbs, Michael Landes.
• “The Innkeepers” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): During the final days of the ‘Yankee Pedlar Inn’, 2 employees are determined to reveal the hotel’s haunted past and begin to experience disturbing events as old guests check in for a stay. Stars Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, Kelly McGillis.
• Also released today: “Crime After Crime” (Documentary); “Marvel Animated Features 3-Movie Collection” (Compilation); “Primitive London” (Documentary); “Ultimate Avengers Movie Collection” (Animation); “When It Was a Game 2” (Sports Doc); and “X-Men Anime” (Animation).

HAMMING IT UP:
An entrepreneur in Nantes, France is giving humans a chance to experience life … as a hamster. French ‘scenographer’ Yann Falquerho runs ‘Villa Hamster’, a hotel that’s been renovated for the human-hamster hybrid, with cages for rooms, haystacks instead of beds, and human-sized running wheels. Guests eat organic hamster grains served in little containers; sip water on all-fours; and have the option of wearing little hamster hoodies. The one concession to their humanity is … a coffee machine in each cage. (Um, who cleans out the cage each day?)
– HuffingtonPost.com

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
A new Oxford University study of mobile phone calls by some 3 million people suggests that women call their spouse more than any other person. That only changes as their daughters become old enough to have children, after which the daughter becomes the most important phone contact in their lives. Men call their spouse most often for the first 7 years of their relationship, but then shift their phone-call focus to friends. Researchers conclude that this shows that pair-bonding is more important to women than men. (Naw, they’re just more likely to call you at work to ask trivial stuff like what you want to have for dinner.)
– “Scientific Reports”

ELECTRONIC ESTATES:
Death in the digital age is a lot more complicated than it used to be. Traditionally, when someone passed away family members would look through paper records and watch snail-mail for bills and account statements. That’s how financial info was gathered to administer the estate. But now many of us get electronic bills and account statements, pay bills online, and even file tax returns electronically. Unfortunately, experts say, many people don’t leave behind the passwords and locations the family needs to access those records. (Ironically, one of the most efficient ways to pass that info on is … writing it down on a piece of paper.)
– “Seattle Times”

THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE FOOD WORLD:
A new listing of some of the world’s tastiest regional dishes, icons of their genres that have gone global in their appeal …
• Mightiest Spiciest Chicken (Jamaica) – Jerk Chicken is great, especially when done right.
• Original Chopped Salad (Lebanon) – Fattoush with lettuce, tomatoes, herbs, and crunchy pita ‘croutons’.
• Hottest Potato (Spain) – Patatas Bravas, a spud dish with a unique paprika sauce on the side.
• Freshest Fish (Peru) – Ceviche [‘suh-VEE-chay’], the other raw fish dish aside from sushi, has put Lima on the food map.
• Original Green Goddess (Italy) – The Liguria region is noted for the best basil, pine nuts, and pesto, traditionally served with trofie pasta and boiled potatoes.
• Iced Coffee Upgrade (Vietnam) – Vietnamese iced coffee can be an ultra-cool refresher when the weather’s steamy.
• Over-The-Top Dessert (France) – Parisian patisserie cream puffs are truly legendary.
– “Bon Appetit Magazine”

VIRAL TV:
As more-and-more electronic devices connect to the Internet and home networks, it’s likely their internal software will be visited by the same vicious attacks that for years have preyed on computer software. It’s still premature to say you need firewall or anti-virus protection for your hi-tech new TV, but a pair of recently diagnosed vulnerabilities in widely used TV models made by 2 leading manufacturers suggests the notion isn’t as far-fetched as you might think. Dealing with schemes to enslave TVs in botnets or hack into fridge-front computers may be a challenge in the very near future. (Imagine what will happen when we have chips embedded in our brains.)
– ArsTechnica.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• No Canadian PM since Mackenzie Bowell in 1894 has sported a beard.
– CBC.ca
• BB King was the only performer NOT to lip-sync on Dick Clark’s old TV show “American Bandstand”.
– TTP
• More than 2.5 billion people (half the world’s adults) are ‘unbanked’, meaning they don’t have a bank account.
– TheGlobeAndMail.com

BS CHRONOMETER 04.24.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [70] Barbra Streisand, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Meet the Fockers”, Oscar-“Funny Girl”)/film director (“The Prince of Tides”)/pop singer (“The Way We Were”)/only person to win Oscar, Tony, Emmy, Grammy, Golden Globe, CableACE, and Peabody awards/Mrs James Brolin since 1998

1952 [60] Jean-Paul Gaultier, Arcueil, France, haute couture fashion designer (Jean Paul Gaultier, Hermès)

1974 [38] Brian Marshall, Fort Walton Beach FL, rock bassist (Creed-“May Sacrifice”, “With Arms Wide Open”)

1982 [30] Kelly Clarkson, Fort Worth TX, pop singer (“Stronger”, “Since U Been Gone”)/original “American Idol” winner (2002)/2 Grammy Awards

1984 [28] Tyson Ritter, Stillwater OK, pop-rock singer/bassist (All American Rejects-“Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pigs In a Blanket Day”, celebrating the breakfast taste-treat of sausage wrapped in a pancake.

• “Teach Children to Save Day”, when some 12,000 bankers visit school classrooms to teach children the importance of saving (… at their bank).

• “World Day For Laboratory Animals”, a UN-recognized observance founded by the National Anti-Vivisection Society on behalf of the ‘billions of animals who are burnt, sliced, crushed, electrocuted, gassed, poisoned with toxic chemicals, psychologically tormented, and killed each year in labs around the world’. (As opposed to those we just eat.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [30] Jane Fonda’s first “Workout” video is released (the Oscar-winning actress begins a 2nd career as a fitness guru, eventually releasing an entire series of best-selling aerobics tapes)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [20] Rocker David Bowie & fashion model Iman are married in a secret ceremony in Switzerland

2007 [05] US president George W Bush is denied a luxury suite at the Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria because Mick Jagger, in town with the Rolling Stones tour, had booked it first

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005 [07] Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is formally installed the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church and takes the name Benedict XVI

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [20] Terry Cole balances a world record 220 cigar boxes on his chin for 9 seconds (London UK)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Administrative Professionals Day
[Wed] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Wed] Plumbers Day
[Fri] “The Five-Year Engagement”; “The Pirates! Band of Misfits”; “The Raven”; “Safe” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Stagecoach Country Music Festival begins (Indio CA)
[Fri] 2012 New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins
This Week Is … Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is … Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU’RE AN EXTREMELY BORING PERSON:
• The most common question you ask: “Hey, where’s everybody going?”
• Sominex tablets are now available shaped like you.
• During conversation, the other person keeps saying: “Oh really? Interesting.”
• Your wildest fantasy is to some day visit an accounting office.
• Jehovah Witnesses refuse to come to your door.
• During confession, you distinctly hear the priest playing Angry Birds.
• The person seated next to you at the dinner party is sawing their wrists with a steak knife.
• The hospital lets you sedate patients for surgery by describing your system for organizing laundry.
• You think your local librarian is a total maniac.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
There are 2 rules to success: #1. Don’t tell everything you know.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Are you willing to pay a trades person cash ‘under the counter’ in order to get a lower price? (In a Gallup poll, a whopping 73% say ‘yes’!)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• In which country did the drinking of tea originate?
a. China. [CORRECT. Legend has it Emperor Shen Nung was drinking boiled water in 2737 BC when leaves from a wild tea bush fell into it.]
b. Japan.
c. England.
– “Weird Fact Of the Day”

• It can take an oak tree how long before it has little baby acorns?
a. 5 years.
b. 15 years.
c. 50 years. [CORRECT]
– GardenGuides.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: We get THIS as a gift more often than we buy it for ourselves.
Answer: A blender.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Time spent getting even would be better spent getting ahead.