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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Long before we found out he was to be a she, Bruce Jenner made his movie acting debut in “Can’t Stop the Music”, a 1980 tongue-in-cheek musical comedy about the Village People. The disco band was at the height of its popularity, their 1978 hit “YMCA” already an anthem. But the film was a critical and commercial flop. “Variety” magazine suggested Jenner, along with the band, had ‘a long way to go in the acting stakes’. “Can’t Stop the Music” won the 1st-ever Golden Raspberry Award for ‘Worst Picture’. Speaking of which, here’s Bruce in a still shot …
(A yet-untitled reality show about his life as a transgender woman premieres July 26th on E!.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
★ After years of seeing women cast inappropriately age-wise in movies, ie: Angelia Jolie cast as Colin Farrell’s mother in “Alexander” despite only being 1 year older than him, it looks like director Guy Ritchie is bringing gender equality to the practice. In his now-shooting new movie, “Knights Of the Roundtable: King Arthur”, Eric Bana is playing the father of co-star Charlie Hunnan … which would have made Bana a dad at just 11-years-old. FYI: Word from the set is that Djimon Hounsou is ‘a very nice bloke’ but Eric Bana is ‘a bit intense’. (Crew-speak for ‘pain in the ass’.)
★ And get your microphones ready! Spike TV’s hit mime competition “Lip Sync Battle” has been renewed for a 2nd season. 20 new episodes will premiere in 2016. Hosts LL Cool J and Chrissy Teigen will be back as well. This season, Anna Kendrick, Emily Blunt (her husband John Krasinski is an executive producer of the show) and Anne Hathaway have all belted tunes on the series. The show averages 3 million viewers, not bad for a low-budget game show. (What house party game do you think would make good TV? Charades? Truth or Dare? Date, Mate, or Slate?)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Marina & The Diamonds (“Froot”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – ‘Eras Night’ includes dance styles like a modern Charleston, jive, futuristic jazz, and the quickstep.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Stromae (“Racine Caree”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Holy Wave (“Relax”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – The Ting Tings perform their current single “Wrong Club”.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Jack Antonoff (Bleachers); The Wombats (“Glitterbug”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – John Mellencamp (“Plain Spoken”); Todd Rundgren (“Global”).
• Rubber Tracks Live (Boston MA) – This Converse-sponsored 5-day music festival features 5 different concerts: alternative rock, dance, metal, hip-hop, and punk. Tonight’s kickoff concert showcases the alt-rock pairing of The Replacements and Dinosaur Jr.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Zac Brown Band (“Jekyll + Hyde”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 8 contestants perform; advisers Cee Lo Green, Gwen Stefani, and Usher.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Belinda Carlisle – Actress Diane Keaton directed the video for her 1987 hit “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”.
• The Black Keys – In a new “Rolling Stone” interview, singer/guitarist Dan Auerbach reveals he has a new side project on the way later this year. He’ll release the album, recorded in a span of just a couple of weeks, under the alias The Arcs.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s headlining stadiums in Australia and New Zealand this Fall, playing 5 dates in November-December. “Billboard” notes that he just finished his SRO tour of 17 arena dates Down Under, playing without his band … using only acoustic guitar and a loop pedal.
• Frank Ocean – He has officially become … Frank Ocean. TMZ reports that Christopher Edwin Breaux legally changed his name to ‘Frank Ocean’ in LA last week after filing the paperwork a year ago. It was approved on Thursday.
• Grateful Dead – John Mayer and the Dead are reportedly in rehearsals for a tour that starts in October. After this Summer’s shows in Chicago IL and Santa Clara CA, sources tell “Billboard” the surviving Dead will also tour with Mayer this Fall, but not under the Grateful Dead name.
• James White – His guitar riff in the White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army” was inspired by ‘James Bond’ theme songs.
• Mariah Carey – Epic Records is releasing the new compilation album, “Mariah Carey #1 to Infinity”, on May 18th. It’s a chronological collection of all 18 of her #1 singles plus the new single, “Infinity”, which is out today along with a video directed by Brett Ratner.
• Nickelback – They wrote their 2001 hit “How You Remind Me” in 10 minutes, a week before they were scheduled to start recording the album “Silver Side Up”.
• Paramore – Tonight in Augusta GA they launch the “Paramore: Writing the Future” tour, which promises ‘an intimate evening of music at smaller venues’ in appreciation for the group’s loyal fans. Florida indie rock band Copeland is opening all dates.
• Pharrell Williams – His first children’s book, called – what else? – “Happy!”, has been bought by Penguin Random House and will be published October 6th. The song “Happy” sold 12 million copies; the video has accrued 630 million views on YouTube.
• System Of a Down – The final date on their “Wake Up the Souls” tour was a free concert in Armenia to bring awareness to the Armenian genocide and observe the tragedy’s 100th anniversary. All 4 members are of Armenian descent but they’d never performed there before.
CONFESSIONS EVERY RETAIL WORKER WILL RELATE TO:
✓ You have put merchandise back in the wrong place when you couldn’t be bothered to find its correct location.
✓ You have told a customer something is out of stock when it isn’t. Usually because it’s on an unreachable shelf or you’re not quite sure where it is.
✓ You have pretended to type something into a computer to look like you are researching your customer’s query when in actual fact you were keyboarding gibberish.
✓ You have broken something and shaken your head disapprovingly as you blamed it on careless customers to your manager.
✓ You have taken extra breaks when you could sneak them in.
✓ You have, somewhat shamefully, rated the looks of customers as they come through the door. Hmm, he’s a 6.
✓ You have kept your anger in check by pulling faces and inappropriate gestures behind customers’ backs after they have been rude to you.
– Adapted from “Metro”
Your toothbrush could someday warn you about the onset of diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer’s, technologists say. Tiny microchips – known as nanopore sequencers – can decode DNA into a digital format that can then be assessed against genetic markers that are known to indicate disease. This is seen as a watershed in science and could lead to a revolution in healthcare. The sequencers are becoming smaller and can be embedded in any product or device that comes into contact with human DNA … such as your toothbrush. DNA passes through a hole on the chip approximately 1.5 nanometers across – 80,000 times thinner than a human hair – and is subsequently measured and turned into a digital reading. (“Boss, I can’t come in today … I got a 23 on my toothbrush.”)
– “The Times”
FAVORITE ISLANDS AROUND-THE-WORLD:
The latest annual list of Travelers’ Choice islands worth visiting …
1. Providenciales, Turks & Caicos
2. Maui, Hawaii
3. Roatan, Honduras
4. Santorini, Greece
5. Ko Tao, Thailand
Need some heavies to fix a problem for you? There’s an app for that. Chinese mobile phone application ‘Didi Da Ren’ connects users to mercenaries who dish out beatings … for a price. Users are able to post ads seeking a ‘thug’ – mostly gym coaches, retired soldiers, gangsters, and crooks, according to the app’s description. The concept apparently came from an online talk show gag, but it appears the joke has become reality. A journalist in the city of Kunming who placed a fake ad received the phone number of a tough-guy in Shanghai, who requires a photo of the victim 2 days in advance, then charges the equivalent of $30-to-$80 depending on the severity of punishment. Payment is made online after the job is done. (And just before the first blackmail note arrives via text.)
5 THINGS EVERY WOMAN NEEDS IN HER BAG TO AVOID A FASHION EMERGENCY:
A few tips from Micaela Erlanger, one of Hollywood’s hottest stylists …
1. A pre-threaded needle: For on-the-fly fixes.
2. Top Stick: The double-sided tape will close any gaps between buttons on a blouse or can be a quick fix if you’ve lost a button.
3. Gal Pal Deodorant Remover: For removing antiperspirant stains and makeup smudges.
4. A Tide-to-Go pen: For stain removal.
5. Dryer sheets: Rub the underside of the clothes with them to get rid of static cling.
(And there you have it, your very own stylist’s prop kit!)
BS AMAZING CREATURE FACTS:
• A young rabbit is not a bunny. It’s actually called a kitten, or a kit. ‘Bunny’ is to ‘rabbit’ as ‘fishy’ is to ‘fish’ … basically a nickname.
• There are more than 20,000 species of bees but only 7 of them are recognized as honey bees.
BS CHRONOMETER 04.27.15
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1978  Jim James (James Edward Olliges Jr), Louisville KY, indie rock singer-guitarist (My Morning Jacket-“Friends Again”)
1978  Patrick Hallahan, Louisville KY, indie rock drummer (My Morning Jacket-“Holdin’ On to Black Metal”)
1984  Patrick Stump, Glenview IL, pop-rock singer-guitarist (Fall Out Boy-“Centuries”, “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race”)
1986  Nick Noonan, Old Town ME, pop-dance musician (Karmin- “Brokenhearted”, “Hello”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Freedom Day”, a South African public holiday celebrating the country’s first post-apartheid elections held on this day in 1994.
• “Prime Rib Day”, a food holiday honoring what may be the best cut of beef you can get. Only one way to celebrate … with a big, thick, juicy cut of prime rib, cooked perfectly to your liking. Don’t forget the au jus and the fully-loaded baked potato!
• “Tell a Story Day”. If you don’t have children to tell a story to, a friend will probably loan you theirs for a couple of hours. Gladly.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000  Jay Leno, host of the “Tonight Show”, gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2006  63-year-old Keith Richards falls from a palm tree while vacationing in Fiji, landing on his head and causing a hemorrhage that requires doctors to drain his skull (eventually makes a full recovery … we think)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1965  Inventor RC Duncan patents ‘Pampers’ disposable diapers (a day of mourning for environmentalists)
2005  The ‘superjumbo’ aircraft Airbus A380 makes its debut flight from Toulouse, France
2014  Popes John XXIII and John Paul II are declared saints in the 1st papal canonization since 1954
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986  Andoni Dominguez of Vizcaya, Spain sets a world record by eating 2.4 lbs of snails (a little over a kilo) in 65 seconds
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Biological Clock Day
[Tues] Workers Memorial Day
[Wed] International Dance Day
[Wed] International Guide Dogs Day
[Thurs] Adopt a Shelter Pet Day
[Thurs] CRA Income Tax Deadline (Canada)
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Air Quality Awareness Week / Dance Week / Global Youth Service Days / Preservation Week / Scoop the Poop Week / Tattoo Week
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
A QUESTION OF LOGIC:
Q: Divide 30 by one-half, then add 10. What do you get?
A: 70. (Divide by one-half, not in half.)
Q: A doctor gives you 3 pills, telling you to take 1 every half hour. How long would the pills last?
A: 1 hour. (You’d take one right away.)
Q: A child is born in Boston MA to parents who were both born in Boston MA, but the child is not a US citizen. How is this possible?
A: The child was born before 1776.
– First published in “BS” 1998.
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANKIND:
• How come there’s never time to do it right, only time to do it over?
• How do you make a U-turn in countries that don’t have ‘U’ in their alphabets?
• Can atheists get insurance for ‘acts of God’?
• At an all-you-can-eat buffet, do you have to pay full price if you eat less than you can?
• Are children ever ruly?
– First published in “BS” 2012.
BS WEB GOODIE:
Britain’s gone mad for royal baby bets. Name? Date? Weight? Hair color? You name it, you can bet on it.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the most amazing fact you know?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
The correct term for a group of ducks is a ‘brace’, and for a group of quail it’s a ‘bevy’. So what do you call a bunch of elk? A …
a. Gang [CORRECT]
– “World Almanac”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 80% of us have at least one of THESE but don’t fully appreciate it until age 25.
Answer: A sibling.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If at first you don’t succeed … you’ll get lots of advice.
NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Michael Gutierrez @ Integrity Radio 1330 AM [WINT] Cleveland OH; Tim Westin @ 107.5 Kool FM [CKMB] Barrie ON; Seth Mela @ 99.9 WSAU Wausau WI; Heather Brown @ 105.9 The Grizz Rocks [KZZK] Quincy IL; Kent Welborn @ KSQM FM Sequim WA; Linda Martelli @ KX 94-7 [CHKX] Hamilton ON; and Chris Wolf @ WRFR Camden ME.