Thursday, April 5, 2018 Edition: #6191

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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jenna Fischer has no issues improvising when it comes to fashion. She waltzed into her ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ interview on Monday wearing nothing more than a pair of blue jeans, black pumps and a pristine white bath towel. She told Kimmel that she “Waited a little too long to get dressed and then my zipper broke and I panicked.” She had the burgundy dress she had planned to wear lying on the chair beside her.
(Don’t they have people to help with stuff like that?)
-MSN
★ The guy suing Conor McGregor after the fighter allegedly threw a can at him during a press conference has gone back to court seeking more money because he claims McGregor profited off of the incident. Wiliam Pegg has amended his lawsuit against McGregor over the August 2016 incident. Pegg claims McGregor profited from his allegedly wrongful conduct with the creation, distribution and sale of a smartphone app that featured McGregor throwing cans. In addition to the original damages, Pegg is now after all the profits McGregor made from the app and any other deals he profited on based on the incident.
-TheBlast
★ Chef Duff Goldman is so in love with his girlfriend, that he spontaneously proposed to her with butcher’s twine. The former ‘Ace of Cakes star’ shared a photo of the delicate wire on Instagram Monday, sharing that he had simply been going about his day when he realized he was “absolutely in love” with his girlfriend Johnna Colbry. He explained why he proposed with a ring made out of light blue string, writing, “I didn’t plan this out, it just happened and it was so glaringly obvious that I couldn’t have stopped it if I wanted to. I asked her to marry me. She said yes.”
(Warning: Dad joke: At least she knows he really wants to ‘tie the knot’!)
-Yahoo
★ The new CBS crime procedural ‘Instinct’ is apologizing to the creator of Fox’s ‘Bones’ for a storyline that had some striking similarities to one from the long-running former hit series. On Twitter, Instinct producer Michael Rauch expressed regret to Bones, its fans, and its creator Hart Hanson on Monday for an episode that had “very distressing” albeit “unintentional” elements that were similar to the other show. Both storylines involve the murder of an Amish teenager who moved to the big city. From investigating the youth’s bedroom, detectives are able to determine that he was a piano player and they eventually interview the victim’s piano teacher.
(Like THAT doesn’t happen all the time!)
-MSN
★ Colin Farrell has checked into rehab…but the idea is to maintain his sobriety. The Irish actor, who has been sober for more than a decade, has reportedly checked himself into a treatment center as a “preventative measure”.  A source says that “He worked back-to-back projects and just needed a break. He’s been sober 12 years and wanted to do this to make sure he stays that way. He’s taking some me-time and doing a tune-up and a reset. This was all his idea.”
-MSN
★ Kaley Cuoco says that her marriage to former professional tennis player Ryan Sweeting ‘ruined’ the word ‘married’ for her, according to her May cover story in Cosmopolitan magazine. Cuoco, who is now happily engaged to equestrian Karl Cook, says that Ryan “completely changed” during their marriage.
-DailyMail

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Seth Rogen, Jaina Lee Ortiz, I’m With Her
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Norman Reedus, Wendy Williams, Nate Bargatze
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Drew Barrymore, Adam Devine, Moby ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Edie Falco, Jason Clarke, Sarah McBride, Steve Smith
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jamie Dornan, Pete Holmes, Rich Brian ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Sean Penn, Claudia O’Doherty ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amy Chua ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jason Clarke, Meredith Eaton
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jared Leto, Sandra Oh
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Bell, Sen. Kamala Harris
• “Marcia Clark Investigates The First 48” (A&E): an investigation into the disappearance of 23-year-old mother of four Stacy Peterson, who vanished without a trace. As the world searched for her, all eyes began to focus on her cop husband Drew Peterson

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – recently officiated the wedding of two of her closest friends. After one of them revealed Adele’s role in the wedding, the singer took to Instagram to share a photo of herself in her ceremony garb, alongside the caption: “Seeing as the cat’s out the bag. I married two of my best friends in January. You know me, any excuse to dress up”.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – teased some behind-the-scenes recording studio footage on her Instagram story, treating fans to 13 seconds of what could possibly be her next single, ‘This Love Isn’t Crazy’.
• Spice Girls – will be the subjects of their own exhibition in London this summer. The showcase – dubbed ‘#SpiceUpLondon – The Spice Girls Exhibition’ – will feature thousands of items of memorabilia, alongside hundreds stage costumes, some of which have not been publicly displayed since they were first worn by the Spice Girls in the 90’s.
• Led Zeppelin – former singer Robert Plant says that ‘Stairway to Heaven’ was the one song that he had trouble remembering the lyrics to. Quote: “Our manager…he’d come to the front of the stage in the middle of it all and he’d have the lyrics…Anyway, it was very funny. “I can’t remember what verse goes where. I know there’s something about ‘bustle in the hedgerow’ and then all that stuff…it’s a little bit abstract”.
• Elvis Presley – With the forthcoming release of the immersive documentary ‘The Searcher’, a companion album will be released with all the hit tracks used in the soundtrack along with some rare recordings, including a stripped back rendition of ‘Suspicious Minds’. ‘Elvis Presley: The Searcher’ airs April 14.
• Beach Boys – Former leader Brian Wilson has announced a holiday tour, which will see him perform the band’s Christmas album, as well as his solo holiday collection. It starts Nov. 28 in Minneapolis, MN
• Van Morrison – is teaming up with Willie Nelson and Family for a co-headlining show this fall. They’ll play Forest Hills Stadium in Queens NY on September 12.
• Alison Krauss – is hitting the road for a massive 50-stop tour that will see her paired with Willie Nelson on many of the dates. Her 2018 tour launches May 16 in Tulsa, OK.
• Jason Aldean – his wife Brittany has revealed her 18-month struggle to become pregnant was due to endometriosis. After a procedure, she was able to become pregnant and give birth to Memphis on December 1. She says she wants “one more”. Soon.

LAZINESS EXCUSE #26:
This is almost too good. A new study says that if you’re lazy, it could mean that you’re smart. Or, rather, smart people spend more time being lazy. The Florida study suggests that those who like to hit the gym or are physically active in other ways are like that in part because they feel the need to keep their mind stimulated…while the smarter segment of the population doesn’t get bored as easily because their high IQ is more likely to keep them entertained. Interestingly, the study found that activity levels between the ‘smart’ and the ‘non-smart’ test groups were very close on weekends. They haven’t quite figured that one out yet.
(That’s because even smart people tend to do some pretty stupid things on the weekend!)
(I am pretty easily entertained, but I wouldn’t say it’s because of my high IQ!)
(I’m so smart, I was too lazy to think of a punchline!)
-TheSun

UNFRIENDING FACEBOOK:
As you probably know, it’s not all ‘thumbs-up’ and ‘likes’ for Facebook these days. The company is embroiled in the Cambridge Analytica scandal, CEO Mark Zuckerberg has seen his net worth fall by $5 billion lately, and there is an online movement which has inspired many to delete their accounts. Now, a study out of the University of Queensland and Australian Catholic University probably isn’t going to do them any favors. The research team asked a group of people to stop using Facebook for five days, and it turns out giving up Facebook could have an impact on your life. Tests revealed lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol after less than a week of non-use. That’s right, if you drop Facebook, you’ll be less stressed.
(I’m going to delete it too, but first I need to find a book for the bathroom!)
(Plus you’ll be able to eat your food while it’s still hot!)
(But if I delete Facebook, how will I be constantly reminded how much I hate people I haven’t seen since highschool?)
(***See ‘LESSER-KNOWN FACEBOOK SCANDALS’, below***)
-BroBible

AIR UNFAIR:
I don’t think I like this. According to US Sen. Chuck Schumer, some major airlines want to collect personal data from passengers and use it to influence fares. His suspicions probably come from a ‘Travel Weekly’ article that quoted an executive at management software provider PROS, who said a few airlines had already implemented ‘dynamic pricing’ on some routes. What does that mean? This practice, also known as ‘micro-target pricing’, uses your online purchasing habits, browsing history and income information to set airfares. That means airlines (and potentially other businesses) could use that info to get an idea of how much money you make, and then decide how much you might be able to ‘afford’ to pay to fly somewhere. It would raise fares for some, and offer discounts to others. Schumer has asked the Federal Trade Commission to investigate. In the meantime, before you browse with the idea of booking a flight, clear your computer’s cookies, or switch to a different browser.
(No….I think this thing could really work out nicely for me!)
(Charge according to how much you make? Why not? My mechanic does. I think my vet does. I KNOW my government does!)
(That TWO ways my wife’s shopping habits have forced us to cancel our vacation!)
-HuffingtonPost

MOST FAMOUS COMPANY SLOGANS:
1. Got milk? – California Milk Processor Board
2. Don’t leave home without it – American Express
3. Just do it. – Nike
4. Where’s the beef? – Wendy’s
5. You’re in good hands with Allstate – Allstate
6. Think Different – Apple
7. We Try Harder – Avis
8. Tastes great, less filling – Miller Brewing Company
9. Melts in your mouth, not in your hands – M&M Candies
10. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking – Timex
-Bloomberg

BS CHRONOMETER 04.05.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [68] Agnetha Fältskog, Jönköping, Sweden, singer (ABBA-‘Waterloo’, ‘Dancing Queen’)

1952 [66] Mitch Pileggi, Portland OR, TV actor (“Walter Skinner” on “X-Files” 1994-2002, since 2016)

1966 [52] Mike McCready, Pensacola FL, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-‘Jeremy’, ‘Last Kiss’)

1973 [45] Pharrell Williams, Virginia Beach VA, pop artist (‘Happy’, w/Robin Thicke-‘Blurred Lines’)/music producer (Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z, Nelly, Usher, etc)/TV personality (‘The Voice’ 2014-16)

1981 [37] Mike Eli, Denton TX, country singer-guitarist (Eli Young Band-‘Drunk Last Night’, ‘Crazy Girl’)

1982 [36] Hayley Atwell, London UK, TV actress (‘Peggy Carter’ in “Marvel’s Agent Carter” 2015-2016)/movie actress (“Ant-Man”)

1989 [29] Lily James, Esher UK, TV actress (‘Lady Rose Aldridge’ on “Downton Abbey” 2012-2015)/movie actress (“Baby Driver”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Dandelion Day”, No one is really sure why, no one is really sure who came up with it, but it is Dandelion Day. So rub one under someone’s chin and mourn the fact that Crayola has retired the ‘dandelion’ crayon!

• “Deep Dish Pizza Day”, celebrating the creation of Chicago’s Uno Chicago Grill, which opened in 1943. Why deep dish? Because you can’t possibly get enough fat-laden cheese and sausage onto a regular pie in order to cause immediate cardiac arrest.

• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, give it all or nothing, start giving 110%, let ‘er rip, balls to the wall! (Now I need a nap…)

• “Road Map Day”, the highlight of “Reading a Road Map Week”, which promotes map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and survival skill. Who reads the map or GPS during your family trips?

• “Bell Bottoms Day”, you’ll notice this is NOT held in conjunction with “Ride Your Bike Day”.

• “Burrito Day”, the word burrito means little donkey in Spanish. It is possible that it stems from the appearance of the packs and bedrolls donkeys used to carry.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Fresh Tomato Day
[Fri] Army Day
[Sat] International Beaver Day
[Sat] Coffee Cake Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [31] FOX TV network debuts, originally offering just 2 Sunday night programs: “Married … With Children” (runs 10 years); “Tracey Ullman Show” (original platform for “The Simpsons”)

2008 [10] Movie icon Charlton Heston (“Ben-Hur”) dies at age 84 in Beverly Hills CA

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994 [24] Kurt Cobain of Nirvana kills himself with a shotgun at age 27. His body isn’t discovered until three days later when an electrician enters to install an alarm

2002 [16] Grunge rocker Layne Staley of Alice in Chains dies at age 34 of a suspected drug overdose

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1993 [25] 1st female PA announcer at a Major League Baseball park (Sherry Davis wins the San Francisco Giants job over 499 others who audition)

2008 [10] Apple’s iTunes overtakes Walmart to become the largest music retailer

TODAY’S LAST . . .
2017 [01] A Pepsi ad featuring Kendall Jenner was pulled after it was criticized for trivializing demonstrations

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [18] ‘Loudest Burp’ on record, according to “Guinness Book of Records” (Paul Hunn lets one fly that registers 118.1 decibels, the equivalent of sitting in the front row at a rock concert)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The first woman to cycle round the world learned to ride a bike a few days before she set off.
✓ The Museum of Bread Culture in Ulm, Germany, has a collection of over 18,000 objects, none of which is bread.
✓ In China, you can major in ‘Bra Studies’.
✓ Originally, the song ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ was going to be called ‘Vampires in Love’.
✓ People’s body temperature drops when they watch videos of other people putting their hands into cold water.
✓ “OMG” was first used in a letter from a British admiral to Winston Churchill in 1917.
-Factslides

BS LESSER-KNOWN FACEBOOK SCANDALS:
• That one time a family was not as happy as they were pretending to be in vacation photos
• When they tried to merge with MySpace to create SpaceFace
• The campaign for a “dislike” button was started by Oscar the Grouch
• The Great Poking of 2011
• Facebook holds the patent to the edit button, which is why Twitter can’t have one.
• When people figured out that Farmville has no ending
• Every time someone deletes their Facebook account, a task force hunts them down like Sandra Bullock in ‘The Net’
• When they were sued over copyright infringement for the thumbs-up symbol by the Fonz
• The great ‘Thoughts and Prayers don’t seem to be helping’ discovery of 2016
• That time you said ‘Maybe’ to an event invitation, but really, you meant ‘No’
-Twitter

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back.

BS PHONE STARTER:
You are surprised to find that you’ve won the lottery. Does your ex get any money?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Fully one-quarter of elementary school children argue with their parents at least once a week about this. What?
Answer: Lunch

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Abandon the search for truth and settle for a good fantasy.