April 14 2023

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Friday, April 14, 2023 — Edition: #7453

Have a Sheety Weekend!


★ He’s back on the block at 30 Rock. Pete Davidson is returning to “Saturday Night Live” on May 6. He’ll host the show for the first time, nearly a year after he exited the sketch comedy series. He will be on the show to promote his upcoming Peacock comedy series “Bupkis,” which happens to be executive produced by his former “SNL” boss Lorne Michaels. Davidson is also expected to attend the Met Gala days before he makes his “SNL” hosting debut.
★ She’s still got that Markle Sparkle. Meghan Markle will be awarded the 2023 Women of Vision Award next month — and it will be presented to her by none other than Gloria Steinem. The award is bestowed by the Ms. Foundation, which “works to bring attention to the real challenges facing women, especially women of color and low-income women who are living in poverty”. The Ms. Foundation announced that Markle will be receiving the award “for her global advocacy to empower and advocate on behalf of women and girls.” The ceremony is set for May 16 in New York.
★ “Yellowstone” co-stars Ryan Bingham and Hassie Harrison have confirmed their romance in a fiery way. In a photo shared to Bingham’s Instagram, the 2 are seen sharing a kiss in front of an open flame, with him captioning their PDA post: “More than a spark.” Harrison’s reaction? She commented: “I love you, cowboy.” In the western drama, Bingham plays ‘Walker’, a musician and former convict who works as a ranch hand at Yellowstone. Harrison, who joined the series in season 3, also plays ranch hand—and ends up becoming Walker’s love interest. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mr2dd835
★ ‘Rollins’ is back. After surprising “Law & Order: SVO” fans last year by exiting the crime drama after 12 seasons, Kelli Giddish will reprise her role as ‘Detective Amanda Rollins’ for the show’s upcoming season 24 finale. NBC says Giddish’s character will be pregnant when she returns. She’ll also reportedly appear on a forthcoming episode of “Law & Order: Organized Crime”.
★ HBO has given a series order to another “Game of Thrones” spinoff named “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: The Hedge Knight”. The new series is officially in the works after years of development. Author George R.R. Martin will executive-produce with Ira Parker, along with Ryan Condal and Vince Gerardis of “House of the Dragon”. No word on when it will go into production. House of the Dragon Season 2 is filming now and is expected in the fall of 2024.
★ After much speculation, Warner Bros. Discovery made it official at Wednesday’s event to unveil the new Max streaming service: The studio is re-adapting J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” books into a TV series with an all-new cast, with Rowling onboard to executive produce. The 7 novels will play out in the form of a streaming show debuting exclusively on Max, the newly renamed service which combines HBO Max and Discovery+. While it wasn’t confirmed that each season will take up one novel, each book does take place over a single school year.

• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Lucy Liu, Damson Idris, Bizarrap, Shakira (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Adam Driver, Adam Brody, Urian Hackney (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Billy Porter, Daymond John (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Wendi McLendon-Covey, Lauren Ambrose, guest co-host Jamie Yuccas
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ryan Seacrest farewell show, Dr. Jill Biden
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Anthony Anderson, Iliza Shlesinger, Noah Galuten, Sam James (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Toni Collette, Nicholas Hoult
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Stephen A. Smith
• “Shark Tank (ABC): A nutrient-rich energy bar; a gender-neutral clothing brand; a portable children’s toy; a healthy Mexican snack company.
• “20/20” (ABC): A husband goes from victim to murder suspect; a wife’s secret recording changes everything.
• “Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail” (DSC): Season 6 premiere. Parker travels to South America in search of a mine with $100 million dollars in gold; He and his team follow the Incan trail deep into the Peruvian jungle where they battle wildlife and mother nature.

• “Totally Weird and Funny” (CW): Disposable laptops; a 10-gallon cowboy hat; new fitness crazes; virtual reality nightmares, and baguette footwear.
• “The Wedding Cottage” (HALL): A woman must convince an uninspired artist to renovate a rundown cottage for a couple’s dream wedding.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Ana de Armas; Karol G performs

• “American Idol” (ABC): From Disney’s Aulani Resort in Hawaii, Singer-songwriter Allen Stone mentors hopefuls vying for America’s first open vote of the season.
• “The Equalizer” (CBS): When a Venezuelan migrant is accused of murdering a congresswoman, McCall and the team work to uncover whether or not he was involved.
• “Family Guy” (Fox): Peter tries to take advantage of a work policy granting leave for a pet’s death; Stewie causes Brian to give up writing; Lois is blocked from a vacation rental app.

• Lady Gaga – ‘Bloody Mary’ has hit #10 on Billboard’s Pop Airplay chart. Originally released in 2011, the song surged on TikTok, thanks to the new Addams Family spin-off series “Wednesday”, despite the fact it isn’t actually featured in the show. In the series, ‘Wednesday’ appears in a dance sequence featuring another song. But fans took the clip to TikTok, subbing in a sped-up version of Bloody Mary.
• Jonas Brothers — Joe took to TikTok to poke some fun at Kevin. During the group’s April 7 appearance on “The Tonight Show”, Jimmy Fallon gave Nick a handshake and hug, but when Kevin went to give the late-night show host a handshake, Fallon didn’t notice and turned away from him. Joe and Kevin then recreated the moment on TikTok, with Joe taking on the role of Kevin. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3kdt8jjm
• Céline Dion – surprised fans with a new song yesterday, after canceling a tour due to a rare neurological disorder. The tune, titled ‘Love Again’, is from the movie of the same name, starring Priyanka Chopra and Sam Heughan. The film’s soundtrack — out May 12 — will include 5 new Dion songs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3unxfhma
• Madonna and Daddy Yankee – Recordings by them, as well as by Mariah Carey, John Lennon, Led Zeppelin, The Police and Queen Latifah, are among 25 being added to the National Recording Registry, the Library of Congress has announced. Daddy Yankee’s ‘Gasolina’ is the first reggaeton recording to be inducted. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2caakn23
• George Thorogood – has canceled a run of 50th anniversary performances in Canada and the US. He and the Destroyers announced on social media that “George has been diagnosed with a very serious medical condition that will require immediate surgery and quite a few weeks of recuperation.”
• Eddie Van Halen – The guitar he used in Van Halen’s ‘Hot for Teacher’ video will be auctioned, and the starting bid is $1.8 Million. The Kramer axe, personally crafted for Van Halen, has an estimated value of $2-3 million. Sotheby’s says it’ll probably be one of the top 10 priciest guitars ever auctioned.
• Morgan Wallen and Taylor Swift – “Promposals” inspired by them are the biggest thing going this year in high schools around America. Google Trends says they are the top 2 “promposal ideas” kids have been googling. (A promposal is when someone is asked to prom in a unique and attention-grabbing way.)
• Carly Pearce — celebrated her 100th Grand Ole Opry performance on Tuesday. The show, with special guests including Ricky Skaggs, The Isaacs, Ashley McBryde and Lady A’s Charles Kelley, will air on Circle Network on Saturday, April 22. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y9n422mb
• Alabama — has announced the first round of performers for the 2023 June Jam. Jamey Johnson, Jake Owen, The Oak Ridge Boys, Exile, Mark Wills and Neal McCoy will all play, with a special appearance from Randy Travis. It will take place on June 3 in Fort Payne, Alabama.


• “Renfield” (R, Horror/Comedy): Renfield, Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the Count, his various demands, and all of the bloodshed that comes with them. (Nicolas Cage, Nicholas Hoult, Awkwafina) Tomatometer: 63%
• “The Pope’s Exorcist” (R, Horror/Thriller): Father Gabriele Amorth, Chief Exorcist of the Vatican, investigates a young boy’s terrifying possession, and uncovers a centuries-old conspiracy the Vatican has desperately tried to keep hidden. (Russel Crowe, Daniel Zovatto, Alex Essoe) Tomatometer: 60%

Just in time for the weekend, Chinese scientists say they’ve discovered a ground-breaking treatment that may cure hangovers. A team from the Chinese Academy of Science’s Institute of Zoology claims to have genetically engineered a probiotic, taken in the form of a yogurt or pill before a night out, which they say can not only prevent a hangover, it could protect your liver from the ravages of booze. Using an enzyme which accelerates the breakdown of alcohol in the body, their experiments on mice showed that administering the probiotic had the effects of reducing alcohol absorption, prolonging alcohol tolerance, and shortening animals’ recovery time after exposure to alcohol.
(NOW what am I going to do on Sunday mornings?)
(How about that? I’m out there paying 8 bucks for a beer, and somewhere mice are drinking for free?)

⇒ Finding love may be tougher than ever. One in 5 adults say they have never been in a relationship that’s lasted longer than 3 years. A survey of 5,000 Americans also found that among those who currently have a partner, they enjoy an average of 2 dates a week. The average hitched respondent also reported having sex 3 times a week. However, just 36% rated their sex life as “excellent”. (Sex 3 times a week, but you only have to buy dinner twice? I’d definitely call that “excellent”!)
⇒ It’s no secret that furry friends hold a special place in their owners’ hearts, and in a survey of 2,000 pet owners in the US, 8 in 10 said that their pets are their #1 source of joy. In fact, 6 in 10 pet owners admit to confiding in their pets when they have a bad day — and even prefer to snuggle up with them rather than with their partner. (Little wonder, after that first item!)
-StudyFinds, Talker


➢ A Monopoly match in Belgium turned into a bloodbath — and not figuratively — after a perturbed neighbor confronted the players with a samurai sword. A group of 4 were playing the game late at night. When it got too loud, a neighbor came to complain — and brought a stick to swing at the rowdy Monopoly players. Things then escalated quickly when the stick-swinging neighbor’s son emerged with a Japanese katana sword. One of the game players attempted to grab the sword, and in doing so removed it from its holster so the blade was unsheathed. The son tried to grab his sword back, leading to a fracas which “caused serious injuries to the two individuals.” Both were taken to hospital, and arrested. (And were therefore unable to pass “Go” and collect $200!)
➢ Meat manufacturer Oscar Meyer has announced its “Wienermobile” is being transformed into a Las Vegas wedding chapel this weekend. The legendary hot dog-shaped vehicle will be parked outside the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas tomorrow and Sunday for the “Wienermobile of Love” event. Couples who signed up for a time slot will be treated to an all-expenses-paid wedding ceremony outside the Wienermobile, led by Oscar Meyer employees, known as “Hotdoggers.” Each ceremony will feature performances by a wiener whistle quartet and serve up a “wonderfully odd wiener cake,” according to the company. (Are they also supplying ‘condoments’?)
-NYPost, BroBible, UPI

Before you get all fancied up to go out this weekend, think about THIS: A new study has revealed the horrifying number of bacteria that accumulates on unwashed makeup brushes, no matter where they’re stored. Conducted by cosmetic tools brand Spectrum Collections, researchers swabbed makeup brushes at the end of the 2-week trial period, while also testing various common storage methods: at a bedroom vanity, in a makeup bag, in a brush-specific bag, a drawer and a bathroom holder. The study found that regardless of where the brushes are stored, the number of bacteria was either the same or more than those usually found on a toilet seat. (This may explain why women always give me the “stink-eye”!)


• “Ex-Spouse Day”, a day of recognition of your ex as someone who, at least at one point in your life, was a very important person. (Celebrating the end of an error?)
• “International Moment of Laughter Day”, a day to take the time to experience the power of laughter. Ha! (Now that our work here is done…)
• “Dolphin Day”, established in the 1990s to focus on the worldwide plight of dolphins. (It definitely serves a porpoise. Sorry.)
• “Pathologists Assistant Day”, a celebration of those who assist distinct but inter-related medical specialties, which diagnose disease through the analysis of tissue, cell, and body fluid samples. (Hey, when’s lunch?) LINK:  https://www.wikidates.org/holiday/pathologists-assistant-day_1176.html
• “National Pecan Day”, is it pee-CAHN or PEE-can?? This is the national observation in the US. “Pecan Day” was held on March 25th for the rest of the world. (But when it comes to pecan pie, we’re willing to celebrate more than once!)
• “Pan American Day”, celebrated annually as a symbol of the American continental community. The date marks the 1890 founding of the organization representing the countries of North, Central, and South America.

• “ASL Day”, a day of observance celebrating American Sign Language. On April 15, 1817, the first school for the deaf in the US opened. According to Communication Services for the Deaf: 98% of deaf people do not receive education in sign language, and 72% of families do not sign with their deaf children.
• “McDonald’s Day”, the anniversary of the day in 1955 when Ray Kroc opened a McDonald’s in Des Plaines, Illinois. This was the first franchised McD’s, and the 9th overall. He helped make McDonald’s the best-known fast-food restaurant in the world. (Remember when they added the Chopped Beefsteak sandwich to their menu? That was a big McSteak!)
• “That Sucks Day”, on the day that taxes are traditionally due in the US, That Sucks Day celebrates failure, incompetence, dissatisfaction, mediocrity, apathy, chaos, tomfoolery, buffoonery, and jackassery. LINK:  https://thatsucks.net/
• “Gripers’ Day”, (***a good day to have listeners call in with life’s little annoyances such as …***)
– Trying to open a band-aid wrapper while bleeding profusely.
– Discovering that you set your alarm for 7pm instead of 7am.
– Plastic ties that connect new shoes so you can’t walk when you try them on.
– When you open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
– Those little dryer sheets that get stuck in your underwear. (See “That Sucks Day”, above…)
• “Husband Appreciation Day”, when husbands are shown how much they mean to their spouse. What qualities are most appreciated in a husband? A survey of wives says: the hard work they do, that they can be themselves around him, that he makes them laugh, that he is smart, and that he is supportive of their goals and desires. (Which really makes me wonder why MY wife keeps me around…)
• “Rubber Eraser Day”, honoring English chemist Joseph Priestley’s 1770 discovery that a small cube of latex could be used to correct boo-boos. He coined the word ‘eraser’.
• “Take a Wild Guess Day”, honoring hunches, guesses, speculation, and other forms of intuitive intelligence.
• “World Art Day”, an international celebration of the fine arts initiated by the International Association of Art, to promote awareness of creative activity worldwide.

• “Eggs Benedict Day”, a day to enjoy heart-attack-on-a-plate – poached eggs, topped with back bacon, served on toasted English muffins, and slathered in Hollandaise sauce … made of even more egg-yolks and butter. (Because we’re “Hollandaise” together!)
• “Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day”, an annual event begun as a promotion for a pajama-maker, that’s evolved into another fun excuse for office hijinks. (Handy that it falls on a Sunday this year…)
• “Healthcare Decisions Day”, to inspire and educate the public and providers about the importance of advance care planning.
• “Save the Elephant Day”, to raise awareness of threats to their future in both Africa and Asia, ranging from poachers and traffickers to loss of habitat. At current rates, ivory poaching could make the African elephant extinct within decades, according to “TIME”.
• “World Voice Day”, initiated in 1999 as a celebration of the phenomenon of voice as a tool of communication. (What celeb has the greatest voice? Besides Morgan Freeman?)
• “Day of the Mushroom”, celebrating edible mushrooms, which can be eaten plain, be stuffed, or be used in salads, soups, and sauces. (And pizzas!)
• “Go Fly a Kite Day”, referring to the idiom that is used to tell someone to go away or leave you alone. The phrase originated in the 1940s, and its meaning is derived from its literal meaning: a person would probably need to go away in order to actually fly a kite. (Not my favorite phrase, but it’s up there!)
• “World Semicolon Day”, celebrating those who chose not to end their lives because their stories are not yet over. Why the semicolon? When authors use semicolons, it shows that a sentence is not yet ended and the story is not yet over. Suicide survivors mark this day by sharing their stories, to raise awareness for mental health and suicide prevention.

1941 [82] Pete Rose, Cincinnati OH, retired MLB player (17 × All-Star, NL MVP 1973, World Series 1975 [MVP])/MLB manager (Cincinnati Reds 1984-89)

1945 [78] Ritchie Blackmore, Weston-super-mare England, rock guitarist (Deep Purple-‘Smoke on the Water’, Rainbow-‘All Night Long’)/Rock Hall of Fame (with Deep Purple), 2016

1959 [64] Peter Capaldi, Glasgow Scotland, TV actor (“Dr. Who” 2013-17)/movie actor (“The Suicide Squad”)

1960 [63] Brad Garrett (Gerstenfeld), Los Angeles CA, comedian-TV actor (“Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)

1961 [62] Robert Carlyle, Glasgow Scotland, movie actor (“Trainspotting”, “The Full Monty”)/TV actor (“Once Upon a Time” 2011-18)

1968 [55] Anthony Michael Hall, Boston MA, movie actor (“The Breakfast Club”, “Sixteen Candles”, “Weird Science”)/TV actor (“The Dead Zone” 2002-07)

1973 [50] Adrien Brody, NYC, movie actor (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, Oscar-“The Pianist”)/TV actor (“Houdini” 2014) COMING UP… “Ghosted”, 2023

1977 [46] Sarah Michelle Gellar, NYC, TV actress (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)/movie actress (“Cruel Intentions”, “Scooby-Doo” movies)

1980 [43] (Edwin) “Win” Butler, Truckee CA, indie-rock singer/multi-instrumentalist (Arcade Fire-‘Rebellion [Lies]’, ‘Reflektor’)

1996 [27] Abigail Breslin, NYC, TV actress (‘Chanel #5′ on “Scream Queens” 2015-16)/movie actress (“Little Miss Sunshine”) COMING UP… “Miranda’s Victim”

SATURDAY- Emma Thompson (“Sense and Sensibility”) is 64; Linda Perry (4 Non Blondes) is 58; Ed O’Brien (Radiohead) is 55; Chris Stapleton (‘Tennessee Whiskey’) is 45; Luke Evans (“Fast & Furious”) is 44; Patrick Carney (The Black Keys) is 43; Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express”) is 41; Samira Wiley (“Orange is the New Black”) is 36; Emma Watson (“Harry Potter”) is 33; Maisie Williams (“Game of Thrones”) is 26

SUNDAY- Retired NBA star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is 76; Dave Pirner (Soul Asylum) is 59; Jon Cryer (“Two-and-a-Half Men”) is 58; Martin Lawrence (“Bad Boys”) is 58; Peter Billingsley (“A Christmas Story”) is 52; Lukas Haas (“Inception”) is 47; Claire Foy (“The Crown”) is 39; Chance the Rapper (‘I’m the One’) is 30; Anya Taylor-Joy (“The Queen’s Gambit”) is 27; Sadie Sink (“Stranger Things”) is 21

1912 [111] RMS Titanic, the world’s largest ocean liner, hits an iceberg at 11:40pm off Newfoundland, and sinks in the early hours of April 15


1994 [29] After 9 years of a very public marriage, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley announce they have separated. They divorce later in the year

1997 [26] Ellen DeGeneres reveals she’s a lesbian in an interview with “TIME” magazine (Quote: “Yup, I’m gay.”)

2012 [11] Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys, Guns N’ Roses, The Faces/Small Faces and Donovan are inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2013 [10] Justin Bieber causes outrage after writing a message in the guest book at Amsterdam’s Anne Frank Museum, stating he hoped the Holocaust victim would have been a ‘belieber’

2018 [05] Bon Jovi, The Cars, Dire Straits, The Moody Blues and Nina Simone are inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

1960 [63] The NHL’s Montréal Canadiens defeat Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup for a record 5th consecutive year

2002 [21] Tiger Woods wins his third Masters golf title, becoming only the second player ever to win 2 in a row (alongside Jack Nicklaus)


✓ Yellow is the most common color for highlighters because it doesn’t leave a shadow on the page when photocopied.
✓ The blob of toothpaste on a brush is called a “nurdle”.
✓ A toaster uses almost half as much energy as a full-sized oven.
✓ An apple, potato, and onion all taste the same if you eat them with your nose plugged.
✓ The original purpose behind having bridesmaids in a wedding was to confuse evil spirits or those who wished to harm the bride.
✓ You cannot snore and dream at the same time.
-UselessDaily, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .

• Immature Adult Contemporary
• Gangsta Polka
• Despairaoke
• Hardcore Barbershop Quartet
• All Trance Tuba All the Time
• Self-Deprecating Hip Hop
• Mild Salsa
• Reasonable Speed Metal
• Jazz-Crap Fusion
• Dead Air
-First published in BS in 2009

➠ Tupperware says it may have to file for bankruptcy. (The presiding judge wants to throw the case out, but may wait a few days…)
➠ Gwyneth Paltrow says she no longer cares what people think about her. (Read the whole interview in the latest magazine — where she appears heavily photo-shopped on the cover!)
➠ An 85 year-old Maryland woman drove her car through the front doors of a Target store. (She’s been charged with reckless driving, public endangerment, and possession of criminal amounts of irony…)
➠ LEGOLAND has revealed its brand new multi-million-dollar attraction. The new Woodland-themed village will open in Windsor, UK by spring 2024. (When I was a kid, I built a Lego friend. I took him everywhere. Finally, I told him it’s time for me to make real friends. As expected, he fell to pieces. Long way to go. Sorry.)
➠ A study shows Tylenol can ease existential angst. (But that still doesn’t change the fact life is meaningless and we all die alone. Have a great weekend!)

Totally how I feel at a Friday meeting:  https://tinyurl.com/ytvyv3ww

I’d love to have a child, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend the next 10 years of my life asking someone where his shoes are.

If animals could talk, which species would be the rudest of them all?

Question:  90% of women admit they’ve done THIS to improve their appearance. What is it?
Answer:  Whiten their teeth

Laughter is a sunbeam of the soul.


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