Friday, April 8, 2022 — Edition: #7206
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ellen DeGeneres, Billy Porter and Bruce Springsteen have joined the dozens of entertainers taking part in the “Stand Up For Ukraine” social media rally to raise funds for refugees impacted by Russia’s invasion. Global Citizen, a group focused on international advocacy, organized today’s event to mobilize humanitarian efforts that will assist Ukrainians. Following the rally, there will be a pledging event Saturday in Poland, led by European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Chris Rock, Billie Eilish, Madonna, Hugh Jackman and Elton John are among the notable names taking part. For more info, or to support the “Stand Up for Ukraine” cause, go to ForUkraine.com .
-HollywoodReporter
★ The Academy has moved up its planned date to decide on possible sanctions against Will Smith for slapping Chris Rock at this year’s Oscars ceremony. Academy president David Rubin said in a letter that he has called a board meeting for this morning “at 9:00 am PT, rather than the previously scheduled April 18 meeting”. His note says the original date was set because the agenda included possible suspension or expulsion of Smith, which required they provide him with 15 days notice. According to the letter, in light of Smith resigning from the Academy last Friday, “suspension or expulsion are no longer a possibility and the legally prescribed timetable no longer applies.”
-CNN
★ Mark Wahlberg is getting out of Beverly Hills. His massive estate there has just hit the market — and he is going to turn a huge profit, considering what he first paid for it. Wahlberg has listed his compound, which includes the main mega-mansion with 12 bedrooms and 20 baths, plus a separate guest house, for a whopping $87.5 million. He first bought the land in 2009 for $8.25 mil and spent years building the home. Overall, it has 30,500 square feet of living space, covered in European limestone. Need more? How about a full-blown library/study room, a waterfall pool, a grotto, tennis court, basketball court, a private spa, a 5,000-bottle wine cellar, fully-equipped gym, a movie screening room, separate quarters for hired help, and a media entry space!
-TMZ
★ Personal items that once belonged to Betty White, including a gold watch from her mother, are going up for auction in September. Awards, paintings, scripts, jewelry and red-carpet outfits from the “Golden Girls” actress were put on display at Julien’s Auctions in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. Julien’s said the auction of items exclusively from White’s home in Brentwood and her residence in Carmel in northern California, where she lived with husband Allen Ludden, “represent an incredible life and career.” The most personal item is a “14-carat gold watch that was gifted to Betty Dec. 25, 1940 with the initials T.C.W. which is Tess White, Betty’s mom.” White died at age 99 on Dec. 31.
-Reuters
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Cody Johnson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Wallace, Wilmer Valderrama (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, Christopher Meloni, Rachel Dratch, Brooke Colucci (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam Devine, Neve Campbell, Japanese Breakfast (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Pete Buttigieg, guest co-host LeAnn Rimes
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jay Hernandez
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Michelle Pfeiffer, Lamorne Morris, Jonathan Adler
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Lena Waithe, Jacob Latimore, guest host Kandi Burruss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jim Carrey, Idris Elba, Jonas Brothers, Rob Garbowsky, Millie & Emily Simmonds
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Robin Thede
• “Major League Baseball” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): 16 teams are in action, all of them in their season openers. This includes an afternoon contest between the Yankees and Red Sox, ppd. from Thursday.
• “Undercover Boss” (CBS): Season 11 finale
• “A Black Lady Sketch Show” (HBO): Season 3 premiere
SATURDAY-
• “Would I Lie to You?” (CW): Series premiere. A comedy panel show based on a British series that “elevates the art of lying”
• “Masters of Illusion” (CW): Season 8 premiere
• “A Royal Runaway Romance” (HALLMARK): Sparks fly between a princess and her bodyguard after her budding romance with an artist fizzles out.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jake Gyllenhaal, with musical guest Camila Cabello
SUNDAY-
• “American Idol” (ABC): The show returns to Hawaii to kick off 2 nights of performances by the top 24.
• “61st Street” (AMC): Series premiere. A track star is swept up into a world of chaos, violence and corrupt policing; a public defender considers retirement and his impact on the community.
• “Building Roots” (HGTV): Series premiere. Ben and Cristi Dozier incorporate nature into their design while renovating a family home that borders a national forest.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kanye West – is mad at Forbes. His people say the business magazine is trying to “control and diminish him” after claiming he is worth a mere $2 billion in its latest billionaires list, rather than the $7 billion he claims. Forbes also included Rihanna ($1.7B) and Jay-Z ($1.4B) on its list of the world’s richest people.
• Ed Sheeran — won his ‘Shape of You’ copyright infringement case on Wed. He was accused of copying the 2015 song ‘Oh Why’ by grime artist Sami Chokri. Sheeran posted a video message, saying “claims like this are way too common now” and are “really damaging to the songwriting industry”.
• The Weeknd and Swedish House Mafia – have been tapped to take Kanye West’s scheduled headlining slot at Coachella April 17 and 24 – together. Ye was slated to perform at the Indio CA fest, but pulled out on Monday.
• Nine Inch Nails — will replace Foo Fighters as the Friday night headliners at Boston Calling. The festival takes place May 27-29, with co-headliners The Strokes and Metallica. The Foos have canceled all activity following the death of drummer Taylor Hawkins.
• Eagles — have announced that Deacon Frey, son of late cofounder Glenn Frey, is stepping down from the group. He has performed with them since shortly after his father’s 2016 death. Deacon has not performed with Eagles on the latest leg of their “Hotel California” tour, due to an undisclosed illness.
• Linda Ronstadt – will release her memoir “Feels Like Home: A Song for the Sonoran Borderlands” on Oct. 4. Co-written by former NY Times reporter Lawrence Downes, the book is filled with “Ronstadt family stories, beautiful photos, and traditional songs and recipes”. It’s available for pre-order now.
• Maren Morris – The multiple 2022 CMT Music Awards nominee shared on social media that “Humble Quest” broke the record for the most first-day and first-week streams on Amazon Music for a country album by a female artist. Actually, it must have been her team that wrote: “@MarenMorris is in her “Humble” era, so we’ll go ahead and do that bragging for her.”
• Lily Rose – The newcomer Lily Rose was recognized for Outstanding Breakthrough Music Artist at the 33rd Annual GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday. The prestigious award honors Rose’s critically acclaimed debut “Stronger Than I Am,” and her work within the LGBTQ+ community.
• Chris Stapleton and Brandi Carlile – are among the co-headliners announced for the Bourbon and Beyond Festival in Louisville KY Sept. 15-18. Other big names include Pearl Jam, Jack White, Kings of Leon, The Doobie Brothers, Greta Van Fleet, and Alanis Morissette for the festival, which has added a full 4th day to the fun at the at the Highland Festival Grounds.
SHOOTING THE BULL
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” (PG, Adventure/Comedy): Dr. Robotnik returns, this time with a new partner, Knuckles, in search of an emerald with the power to destroy civilizations. Sonic and Tails embark on a globe-trotting journey to find the emerald before it falls into the wrong hands. (Ben Schwartz, Idris Elba, Jim Carrey)
• “Ambulance” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): Needing money for his wife’s medical bills, a decorated veteran teams up with his adoptive brother to steal $32 million from a bank. When that goes spectacularly wrong, they hijack an ambulance that’s carrying a severely wounded cop and an EMT worker. (Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II)
• “Cow” (Documentary)–Limited release: Academy Award-winner Andrea Arnold returns with an intimate portrait of a dairy cow’s life, highlighting the beauty and challenges cows face, and their great service to us all.
NEW OF THE WORLD:
➠ The world’s most popular soft drink has made it to the metaverse. Coca-Cola has announced it is launching a gaming-inspired version of its new soda virtually, before it hits shelves in the real world. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Byte will “bring the flavor of pixels to life”, according to the company. We’re not sure how that’s possible, but it’ll first be available on a metaverse-like world within the video game Fortnite. Those who enter “Pixel Point” in the game can play coke-themed mini-games as well as “try” the new drinks flavor – virtually, of course. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Byte will appear in US stores in physical form on May 2. (Can I get Mentos in the metaverse, too? Asking for a friend…)
➠ Shanghai to New York in just a few hours? China’s Space Transportation aims to make this prospect a reality with the development of a passenger-carrying hypersonic space plane that can hurtle across the skies at one mile per second – better than twice the speed of the Concorde. The firm released an animated video showing passengers (no helmet or spacesuits required) board a 12-seater space plane that’s flanked by 2 titanic booster rockets. The vehicle launches vertically, and upon reaching cruise altitude, separates from its boosters and skims the edge of space at 7,000 kph (4,350 mph). It lands vertically with the aid of a tripod-type undercarriage. The company plans to launch a test flight in 2025, and “complete full-scale global hypersonic vehicle flight by 2030.” (Great. Your wait at customs will be longer than your flight!)
➠ And, in perhaps the most-shocking product development of all, an “edit” button is coming to Twitter. Testing of the much-demanded feature will be available “in the coming months” to users of the paid subscription service, Twitter Blue, according to a Twitter tweet. The announcement came the same day the company said Elon Musk will be joining its board. On Monday, hours before Twitter announced Musk’s appointment to the board, he invited his followers to vote in a poll on whether the platform should support an edit feature. That prompted Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal to comment: “The consequences of this poll will be important. Please vote carefully.” (Then he edited his comment, just for the hell of it!)
-CNN, NYPost
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ 71-year-old romance novelist Nancy Crampton Brophy has authored nearly a dozen books, but it’s a blog post she wrote in 2011 titled “How to Murder Your Husband” that’s now turning heads. More than a decade after writing it, she’s on trial for the murder of her husband, Daniel. The novelist wrote the piece for a writer’s workshop. One of the passages reads: “the thing I know about murder … is that every one of us have it in him/her when pushed far enough.” At the beginning of the trial the judge ruled that the blog post can’t be used as evidence since it was written years ago and could cause “unfair prejudice” and “confusion”. The defense says the Brophys were a “loving couple who cared about one another.” (They just had a funny way of showing it . . .)
➢ A Texas drone business teamed up with an online content creator to create a giant QR code over Dallas to “Rickroll” the entire city. People on the ground who used their phones to scan the QR code formed by the drones were taken to the YouTube video for Rick Astley’s song ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, the classic online prank known as a “Rickroll.” In a Facebook post, Digital content creator Jared Guynes, known as the creator of “Epic Nerf Battles”, said: “That’s right Dallas. You were witness to the first ever drone rickroll in history. I thought you’d get a kick out of it”. LINK: https://youtu.be/YIeBxf4W-FI
(This happened on April Fool’s Day. But it would have been even better if it didn’t!)
-NewsNation, UPI
DID YOU KNOW?
According to a new study, your selfies may not be portraying the true you. Researchers with the American Society of Plastic Surgeons found that selfies distort depictions of ourselves, “introducing measurable distortions in the size and perception of facial features”, particularly the nose. As a result, the team says that social media and selfies in general have strongly contributed to the spike in popularity of cosmetic plastic surgery in recent years. (Is that what they mean by social media “influencing”?)
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 04.08.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Dog Fighting Awareness Day”, initiated by the SPCA to increase awareness and encourage animal-lovers to take action against this brutal form of cruelty.
• “Dog Farting Awareness Day”, I’m not kidding. And if you have a dog, you’re probably already aware… (Someone should take action against THIS form of cruelty!)
• “International Day of the Roma”, begun in 1990 to celebrate Romani culture and raise awareness of the issues facing Romani people, commonly misnamed ‘gypsies’.
• “International Feng Shui Awareness Day” [fung schway], celebrating the oriental ‘art of placement’ in which architecture and interiors are situated to blend with their surroundings. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yesemw9x
• “Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day”. After all, why should adults have to give up their precious trading cards just because they get older?
• “Zoo Lovers Day”, encouraging us to explore our local zoos. Many of them also serve as breeding centers, which are relied upon when species are endangered or at risk of becoming endangered. They also provide education about a broad variety of animals and their habitats. A few zoo facts:
-The Vienna Zoo is the oldest existing zoo. It was opened to the public in 1765.
-The United States’ first public zoo, Central Park Zoo, opened in 1874 in New York.
-There are over 2,400 zoos in the United States.
-Approximately 700 million people visit a zoo each year.
-More than 4 million people visited the San Diego Zoo in 2018.
-Disney’s Animal Kingdom welcomed almost 14 million visitors in 2021.
SATURDAY-
• “Cherish an Antique Day”, celebrate with a visit to a museum, or by simply retrieving a valued heirloom from its place of safety and exhibit it for the day. (That explains the 3 grandfather clocks on the bus this morning…)
• “Name Yourself Day”, a day for anybody with a name they hate, to tag themselves with a brand-new label. (‘Clem’, perhaps?)
• “Chicken Little Awareness Day”, Don’t worry, I checked, the sky is still up there!
• “Chinese Almond Cookie Day”, in some Chinese restaurants, they are served to cleanse the palate after several courses, rather than being regarded as a dessert.
• “Winston Churchill Day”, This date in 1963, he was made an honorary citizen of the United States. Churchill is well-known for his leadership as Prime Minister of the UK during World War II. Quote: “Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”
• “Gin and Tonic Day”, as a staple among the list of amazing cocktails, gin and tonics have a high bitterness factor, but it is tempered with lime and sugar to make it palatable for most people. (If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a gin…)
SUNDAY-
• “Encourage a Young Writer Day”, because it’s an investment in our future. Some of the most famous authors began writing as children (on the walls, in crayon…)
• “Golfers Day”, honoring everyone who walks a mile chasing the little white ball, on the anniversary of the 1916 founding of the Professional Golfers’ Association (PGA).
BS GREAT GOLF QUOTES:
-“To Golf or Not to Golf?? What a Stupid Question.”
-“Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself, you forget to hate your enemies.”
-“Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.”
-“The worst day of Golf beats the best day of work.”
-“Golf’s Three Ugliest Words…‘Still Your Shot’.”
-“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
• “Siblings Day”, celebrating brothers and sisters who are living, those who aren’t … and perhaps some who shouldn’t be.
• “SPCA Day”, honoring the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the organization that looks out for our furry friends. It was chartered on this day in 1866. Also “Farm Animals Day”. Hug a cow.
• “Safety Pin Day”, legend has it that, in 1849, Walter Hunt owed a friend $15 and decided to invent something in order to earn the money to repay him. He invented the safety pin.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1960 [62] John Schneider, Mount Kisco NY, TV actor (“Dukes of Hazzard” 1979-85, “Smallville” 2001-11)/country singer (‘You’re the Last Thing I Needed Tonight’)
1962 [60] Izzy Stradlin [Jeffrey Isbell], Lafayette IN, rock guitarist-singer (co-founder of Guns N’ Roses-‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’, not part of the band’s current reunion)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2012
1963 [59] Julian Lennon, Liverpool England, pop singer-songwriter (‘Too Late for Goodbyes’, Valotte’)/filmmaker/photographer/son of John Lennon and his first wife, Cynthia
1963 [59] Dean Norris, South Bend IN, TV actor (“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Under the Dome” 2013-15)
1966 [56] Robin Wright, Dallas TX, TV actress (‘Claire Underwood’ on “House of Cards” 2013-18)/movie actress (“Forrest Gump”)
1968 [54] Patricia Arquette, Chicago IL, movie actress (2015 Oscar-“Boyhood”)/TV actress (“CSI: Cyber” 2015-16, “Medium” 2005-11)
1981 [41] Taylor Kitsch, Kelowna BC, movie actor (“X-Men Origins: Wolverine”)/TV actor (“True Detective” 2015, “Friday Night Lights” 2006-11)
1984 [38] Ezra Koenig, NYC, indie rock singer-guitarist (Vampire Weekend-‘Unbelievers’, ‘A-Punk’)
1997 [25] Sadie Calvano, LA CA, TV actress (‘Violet’ on “Mom” 2013-18)
SATURDAY- Dennis Quaid (“A Dog’s Purpose”) is 68; Fashion designer Marc Jacobs is 59; Cynthia Nixon (“Sex & The City”) is 56; Albert Hammond Jr (The Strokes) is 42; Jay Baruchel (“Goon”) is 40; Leighton Meester (“Gossip Girl”) is 36; Jesse McCartney (“All My Children) is 35; Kristen Stewart (“Twilight”) is 32; Elle Fanning (“Maleficent”) is 23; Lil Nas X (‘Old Town Road’) is 23
SUNDAY- Steven Seagal (“Under Seige”) is 70; David Harbour (“Stranger Things”) is 48; Charlie Hunnam (“Sons of Anarchy”) is 42; Andrew Dost (fun.) is 39; Mandy Moore (“This Is Us”) is 38; Shay Mitchell (“Pretty Little Liars”) is 35; Haley Joel Osment (“The Sixth Sense”) is 34; Maren Morris (‘The Bones’) is 32; Alex Pettyfer (“Magic Mike”) is 32; Daisy Ridley (“Star Wars”) is 30
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1986 [36] Clint Eastwood is elected mayor of Carmel, California. (It makes his day)
2014 [08] WWE Hall of Fame wrestler ‘Ultimate Warrior’ (James Hellwig) dies of a heart attack at 54 in Scottsdale AZ
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994 [28] The body of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain is found, the victim of a self-inflicted shotgun blast (it’s later determined the event likely occurred April 5th)
2016 [06] Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani are officially divorced after 14 years of marriage.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2000 [22] In a “Saturday Night Live” skit where Blue Öyster Cult is recording ‘(Don’t Fear) The Reaper’, Christopher Walken demands “more cowbell” from Will Ferrell, who complies. A catch phrase is born.
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1996 [26] Starr Lammon of Napa CA gives birth to a 3rd daughter on her own birthday, and that of both her previous daughters (odds: 1-in-19 billion)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The most-expensive object ever built is the International Space Station, at US$150 billion.
✓ The average bra is designed for just 180 days of use.
✓ Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.
✓ Ulcers are more aggravated by decaf than by regular coffee.
✓ Giraffes were originally known as “cameleopards”.
✓ Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Col. Sanders was born in Indiana.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, RandomFactGenerator
Best of BS . . .
Baseball season is underway, so here are . . .
BS WARNING SIGNS YOUR BASEBALL TEAM IS REALLY BAD:
✗ Players routinely leave the game early to beat traffic.
✗ The mascot doubles as a starting outfielder.
✗ Your team name contains the words ‘Baltimore’ and ‘Orioles’.
✗ Regular spirited locker room debates about how many strikes to an out.
✗ Your cleanup hitter is 5-months-pregnant.
✗ Your 9 starters who made the ‘Performance Enhancing Drug All-Star Team’ have all been suspended.
✗ The team owner has changed team name to ‘Losers’.
-First published in BS in 2013
THE ULTIMATE DRINKING CHEAT SHEET:
You’ve likely heard “Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear; beer before liquor, get drunk quicker”, but have you heard THESE rules-of-thumb regarding drinking?
• Tequila Sunrise at morning, sailors take warning.
• Hot Toddys before Whisky Sours, dangerously thin blood within hours.
• Rye before Vermouth, pass out in a tollbooth.
• Appletinis before Guinness, start a small business.
• Cosmos before body shots of sake, excitedly sleep with someone stocky.
• Long Island Iced Teas before vodka-soaked Gummi Bears, throw up on the stairs.
• Tom Collins before a bucket of mead, forget how to read.
• Pilsners before absinthe, get stuck in a labyrinth.
• Accidentally swallow a cup of mouthwash before eating a scoop of dry margarita mix, get robbed at knife-point trying to scalp Bob Seger tix.
• Rubbing alcohol cut with a Kool-Aid Jammer before NyQuil before jungle juice, party forever by yourself. Party. Alone. Forever.
-SamWeiner, first published in BS in 2016
BS WEB GOODIES:
This guy stole my warmup: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb8rTk4l05c/
Bonus – same guy: https://tinyurl.com/yckr82an
BS RANDOM JOKE:
My friends all say I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. . .
BS PHONE STARTER:
In what weird way did you get a scar?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a survey, parents listed the top 10 things they miss about before they had kids. #1 was enjoying lazy weekends. What came in at #8?
Answer: Going to the bathroom uninterrupted
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
