April 25 2019

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Thursday, April 25, 2018 Edition: #6438

                                                            Guaranteed 100% ‘Grade A’ Bull!


★ “Shazam!” Star Zachary Levi is set to host 2019 MTV Movie and TV Awards. He follows past hosts including Tiffany Haddish, Dwayne Johnson with Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer, and Conan O’Brien. This is the 28th edition of the awards show, but only the third to honor both film and TV jointly. The 2019 categories and nominees will be announced in the coming weeks. The ceremony will air Monday, June 17 on MTV.
★ Sara Gilbert has joined the third season of Netflix original series “Atypical” as a recurring character. The third season will have 10 half-hour episodes. Gilbert will play Professor Judd, a university ethics professor who is generally irritable and chronically underwhelmed, yet capable of compassion.
(Is this the same Sara Gilbert who just quit “The Talk” in order to spend more time with her family?)
★ New Jersey police checked in with Wendy Williams after receiving a troubling anonymous call from someone claiming to work for the talk show host, alleging Williams’ now-estranged husband Kevin Hunter was poisoning her. The call came in January during Williams’ time off from “The Wendy Williams Show”. According to a report, when an officer asked her if there was any truth to the anonymous tip, Williams responded, “Well, I’m very popular,” before she “became tearful.” She filed for divorce a few weeks ago.
★ Terry Rawlings, a British film and sound editor who was an Oscar nominee for his work on Best Picture winner “Chariots of Fire,” has died at the age of 86. He worked as a film editor on “Alien,” “Blade Runner,” “Legend,” “Yentl” and “Alien 3.” He also worked as a sound editor between 1962 and 1977. He most recently worked as a film editor on 2004’s “The Phantom of the Opera”.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Matthew McConaughey, Snoop Dogg, Justin Turner, Durand Jones & The Indications (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Paul Rudd, Diane Guerrero, Leonard Ouzts
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Charles Barkley, Tig Notaro (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Steve Martin, Susan Kelechi Watson, Aaron Comess (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Boreanaz, Cam Newton, Daddy Yankee (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Jon Rudnitsky
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Samantha Bee, Van Jones
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Dr. Phil McGraw
• “The Talk” (CBS): Emayatzy Corinealdi, Noel Fisher, Aliyah Royale, Noah Wyle
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeremy Renner, Michael Ealy, Peter Gros
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Bradley Cooper
• “2019 National Football League Draft: (ABC): Round 1 from Nashville
• “Gotham” (FOX): Season finale
• “The Orville” (FOX): Season finale
• “Supernatural” (CW): Season finale

• Halsey — treated her friends to a special Easter egg hunt over the weekend. She documented her Easter celebrations on Instagram, revealing to fans that she’d placed over $2000 in a number of the eggs that she’d hidden in her back garden.
• Ariana Grande — Jim Carrey has responded after she opened up on her struggles with depression by using a quote from the actor.  Carrey tweeted in part: “I read your lovely mention of me and things I’ve said about depression…I admire your openness. I wish you freedom and peace. I feel blessed to have such a gifted admirer.” Grande’s reaction? That she will “tattoo this tweet on my forehead.”
• Whitney Houston – Her friend Robyn Crawford will publish a memoir later this year which will explore their close relationship.  “A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston” will see Crawford speak publicly for the first time about “the moving and often complicated story of her life and relationship with Whitney”. It comes out Nov. 5.
• Sheryl Crow — has released a re-recorded version of her duet with Johnny Cash. She originally released ‘Redemption Day’ on her self-titled 1996 album, but has unveiled a re-recorded version as the lead single from her upcoming album, which is set for release this summer.
• R.E.M. – is among a group of artists who are auctioning off setlists from classic shows for charity. Setlists from The Who, Dixie Chicks, A$AP Rocky, Janelle Monáe and more are also up for grabs to benefit Ministry of Stories and The International Congress of Youth Voices. Bidding closes on May 2.
• Def Leppard – will co-headline the new “Exit 111” festival Oct. 11-13 at the Great Stage Park in Manchester, TN.  Sharing the bill as headliners are Guns N’ Roses and Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Among the approximately 35 other acts on the bill:  ZZ Top, Cheap Trick, Ghost, Slayer, Megadeth and Black Label Society.
• Ozzy Osbourne – His son Jack reports that Ozzy is ”back to being his cynical old self” after a lengthy health battle.  He was forced to postpone many of his “No More Tours 2” dates after battling a hand infection, a lengthy bout with pneumonia, and most recently the “dislodging of metal rods” in his body after a fall.
• Brett Eldredge — will be taking part in the 2019 Bud Light Dive Bar Tour on May 16 in St. Louis. The tour brings major artists to intimate dive bars for once-in-a-lifetime performances. This year’s first stop will be on Monday in Denver with alternative pop stars Judah & the Lion, who collaborated with Kacey Musgraves on ‘Pictures’.
• Dan + Shay – will perform with Tori Kelly at the 2019 Billboard Music Awards on May 1. Dan + Shay are also nominated for seven awards including Top Duo/Group.
• Willie Nelson – His health-and-wellness brand “Willie’s Remedy” is expanding its product lineup. Joining the company’s hemp-infused coffee, which was introduced in February, will be a new double strength hemp-infused coffee as well as Willie’s Remedy Hemp Oil Tincture.

Murphy’s Law says that the lineup that you choose in the supermarket will end up moving the slowest.  So, what can you do to ensure you select the fastest lane?  For starters, you might want to avoid the express aisle. It might seem counterintuitive (and it might also seem like I used that word correctly), but you could be better off getting in line behind the shopper in a regular lane with a full cart of groceries.  Dan Meyer of the math site “Desmos”, who has studied grocery lines, says that while every person requires approximately 41 seconds to greet the cashier, pay, say goodbye and clear out of the lane, it also takes about 3 seconds to ring up each item.  He figures that an express line with four customers carrying baskets with around ten items each will take about five minutes to clear. That guy with 60 items in his cart? He’ll get through the register in less than four minutes. Some other tips:
• Be on the lookout for either chatty cashiers or chatty customers, and avoid those lines.
• As you set your items on the belt, turn the barcode toward the cashier to speed things along.
(And for God’s sake, don’t get stuck behind someone who takes advantage of the store’s “price match guarantee!”)
(My problem is that I’M usually the chatty one that everyone is trying to avoid!)

If you are like me and were really looking forward to shelling out $2,000 for a smartphone that will fold in half, you’ll be disappointed to hear that Samsung has delayed the planned Friday launch of their new Galaxy Fold. It seems that reviewers who had received samples of the foldable smartphone ran into a variety of problems. Some reported troubles with the hinge system that resulted in screen failures. Other reviewers mistook the top protective layer of the display as a removable screen protector and tried to remove it, also resulting in non-functioning displays. Samsung says that they will run more tests and announce a new launch date “in the coming weeks”.  With such a big price tag, The Galaxy Fold wasn’t expected to be a huge seller, but some hoped that it would add some sizzle to the smartphone industry, which hasn’t seen much in the way of revolutionary advances in recent years.
(On the plus side, Samsung caught the problem before it got into the hands of the consumer.  Because this could have really blown up in their faces…like the Galaxy Note 7!)
(So I guess I’ll just fold my money up and put it back in my pocket!)
-Anandtech, AP, CNet


➠ You love to work out:  Staying active reduces your risk for many health conditions, and helps maintain muscle mass, so you can keep active. (Great.  The first point, and I’m already eliminated…)
➠ You embrace new tech:  Learning new things helps to keep brain cells young and healthy.  And by staying connected to friends, family, and current events, you feel vital and relevant.
(OK, I’ll get one of those fax machines that everyone is talking about…)
➠ You make every calorie count:  A study found that those who limited daily calories to 1,400-2,000 had hearts that functioned like those 15 years younger.  But the key is to get the most nutrition out of those 1,400-2,000 calories.  (Excuse me, did you say per day…or per meal?)
➠ You love tea:  Both green and black teas contain substances that help blood vessels relax and protect your heart. You need only 1 or 2 cups of tea daily to start doing your heart some good. (I couldn’t drink that stuff for all the tea in China…!)
➠ You skip cola (even diet cola):  Drinking one or more cola every day doubles your risk of metabolic syndrome-a cluster of conditions, including high blood pressure, elevated insulin levels, and excess fat around the waist, that increase your chance of heart disease and diabetes. (I guess what I need is some cola-flavored tea!)
➠ You’d rather walk than drive:  “Fit” people– defined as those who walk for about 30 minutes a day — are more likely to live longer than those who walk less, regardless of how much body fat they have.  (Does it help if I pump my own gas?)
➠ You don’t snore:  Snoring is a major sign of sleep apnea, which can cause high blood pressure, memory problems, weight gain, and depression. (I don’t snore…for the 12 hours per day that I’m awake!)
➠ You’re the life of the party:  Outgoing people are 50% less likely to develop dementia, according to a recent study.  These people also described themselves as “not easily stressed”.  (What about a guy like me, who just THINKS he’s the life of the party?)
(I’m just glad to see there’s nothing in here about smoking!)

If you don’t want to waste too much money shopping, go to the mall in high heels. A 2013 Brigham Young University study discovered that shoppers in high heels made more balanced buying decisions while balancing in pumps.


1940 [79] Al Pacino, NYC, movie actor (“Scent of a Woman”, “The Godfather Part II”)/TV actor (“You Don’t Know Jack”, “Angels in America”) COMING UP…”Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”, 2019

1944 [75] Len Goodman, Bromley England, TV show host (“Dancing with the Stars” judge since 2005)

1964 [55] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/‘Chief Wiggum’/‘Apu’/‘Comic Book Guy’/‘Cletus’/‘Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [50] Joe Buck, St Petersburg FL, sportscaster (FOX-TV’s lead play-by-play guy for MLB and NFL)/son of late Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck

1969 [50] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (“Bridget Jones” movies, “Jerry Maguire”) COMING UP…”Judy”, 2019

1970 [49] Jason Lee, Huntington Beach CA, TV actor (“My Name is Earl” 2005-09) COMING UP…”Jay and Silent Bob Reboot”, 2019

• “Anzac Day”, a public holiday and national day of remembrance in Australia and New Zealand commemorating Australians and New Zealanders “who served and died in all wars, conflicts, and peacekeeping operations” and “the contribution and suffering of all those who have served”. Anzac Day was originally devised to honor the members of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) who fought at Gallipoli against the Ottoman Empire during World War I.

• “Plumbers Day”, OK, let’s all do the plumbers’ salute … drop your pants 2 inches!

• “DNA Day”, celebrating the discovery and understanding of DNA and the scientific advances that understanding has made possible. (Which I don’t understand at all…)

• “Red Hat Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘Red Hat Society’, begun in 1997 as a social organization for women over 50 and to reshape the way they’re viewed. There are now millions of mature women who attend various ‘RHS’ events worldwide.
NET: http://www.redhatsociety.com

• “Telephone Day”, call someone and wish them “Happy Telephone Day”. They’ll probably hang up on you.

• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, be nice to your hairstylist because there’s nothing stopping her/him from plucking one of your hairs and putting it at a crime scene!

• “Mani-Pedi Day”, an annual celebration of clip joints.

• “World Penguin Day”, marking the annual northward migration of penguins which happens each year on or around this day. Penguins do not fly. They walk. More of a waddle, actually. (Go, Sidney Crosby, go!)

• “Crayola Day”, there are over one hundred different types of crayons made by Crayola, including some that sparkle with glitter, glow in the dark, smell like flowers, change colors, and wash off walls and other surfaces and materials.

[Fri] Get Organized Day
[Fri] Hug a Friend Day
[Sat] Babe Ruth Day
[Sat] Morse Code Day

2009 [10] TV actress Bea Arthur (“Maude”, “The Golden Girls”) dies in Los Angeles at age 86

2009 [10] TV personality Spencer Pratt weds media personality and singer Heidi Montag in Pasadena, CA (And ‘Speidi’ is born…)

2002 [17] Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes of girl group TLC (‘Waterfalls’) dies in a car accident in La Ceiba, Honduras at age 30

2009 [09] Rascal Flatts’ 6th studio album, “Unstoppable”, hits #1

2014 [05] Spotify removes “Sleepify”, an album of total silence by funk band Vulfpeck from its streaming site (the band had encouraged fans to stream it on repeat overnight to generate money for a no-admission tour)


✓ A pound of potato chips costs 200 times more than a pound of potatoes.
✓ The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.
✓ Honey is used sometimes for antifreeze mixtures and in the center of golf balls.
✓ Perspiration is odorless; it is the bacteria on the skin that creates an odor.
✓ One quarter of the human brain is used to control the eyes.
✓ Windmills always turn anti-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.

• Fool Fighters
• Men Without Brains
• MC Bag of Hammers
• Moron 5
• Jethro Dull
• Blink 1 + 8 = 2
• 5 Seconds of Summer School
• A Flock of Steven Seagals
• Goo Goo Dolts
• Thick Lizzy
• Dumb 41
• Nickelback

Best of BS . . .

• To calm down.
• “You mad?”
• “What’s for dinner?”
• If it’s your fault. Because it’s definitely your fault.
• To hold your knife.
• If anything is wrong.
• Why she is just like her mother.
• If you can hang out with the guys tonight.
• If she isn’t overreacting just a bit.
• Anything. Anything at all. Just quietly back away.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

What is the most shameful thing you’ve seen someone do at a restaurant?

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Question: Almost 40% of us agree that THIS instantly makes someone more attractive. What is it?
Answer:  Wearing sunglasses

Two things define you:  Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything.


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