Friday, April 4, 2025 – Edition: #7929

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Can you smell what The Rock is writing? Dwayne Johnson is set to pen a true crime book about the Hawaiian mob alongside journalist Nick Bilton. The book’s story will serve as the inspiration for one of Johnson’s upcoming films — a previously announced crime drama directed by Martin Scorsese that will co-star Leonardo DiCaprio and Emily Blunt. Bilton is writing the screenplay. Johnson’s book will chronicle Wilford “Nappy” Pulawa’s tenure as the head of “The Company,” Hawaii’s infamous organized crime syndicate. It’s expected The Rock will also play Pulawa in the film.
-EW
★ Kelly Clarkson is looking to leave her afternoon talk show when the contract expires next year – but NBC execs are searching for ways to keep her on the network, according to sources quoted by PageSix. The singer-turned-host of “The Kelly Clarkson Show” was off the air for almost 2 weeks last month for what was described as a “personal matter.” Now, sources say that she wants to step down from the show she has been hosting since 2019 to spend more time with her 10-year-old daughter River Rose, and son Remy, who is 8. No official word yet from Clarkson or NBC.
-PageSix
★ Fox-TV is showing major commitment to adult animated series “The Simpsons,” “Family Guy” and “Bob’s Burgers.” It has renewed all 3 series for 4 additional seasons. The network also announced that “American Dad!” will be returning to the network from TBS, and has been approved for 4 more years as well. The pickups bring the series through the 2028-29 broadcast season on Fox, renewing Bob’s Burgers for Seasons 16-19, Family Guy for Seasons 24-27 and The Simpsons for Seasons 37-40. That extends The Simpsons’ reign as the longest-running scripted primetime series.
-TheWrap, TVLine
★ Brad Pitt will star in an upcoming sequel to “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” Although he won’t direct it, Quentin Tarantino is writing the follow-up. The project, which does not have an official title, is being set up at Netflix, and David Fincher is set to direct. Pitt will reprise his role as stuntman and potential wife killer ‘Cliff Booth’. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” was released in theaters in 2019, and Pitt won an Oscar for supporting actor for his performance.
-Variety
★ Jeff Bezos sounds like he’s throwing some Amazon money around — because his company is reportedly trying to acquire TikTok. Amazon submitted a bid to buy TikTok as the video app nears the Saturday deadline to separate from Chinese owner ByteDance or face a ban in the US, says the New York Times. The report says the Amazon bid came in at the last minute – but the Times also notes the offer is not being taken seriously. Donald Trump told reporters Sunday there are several potential buyers showing interest, and hinted a deal would be made before the deadline.
-TMZ

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Pedro Pascal, Ike Barinholtz, Trisha Yearwood (R)
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Legend, Bill Burr, Black Thought (R)
• “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jake Gyllenhaal, Roxane Gay (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Hart, Annaleigh Ashford (R)
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Tichina Arnold, Affion Crockett, Essence Atkins
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kevin Bacon, Dulé Hill
• “Today” (NBC): TODAY’s Talk: Lea Michele, Alan Cumming; Olivia Munn co-hosts
• “GMA3” (ABC): Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan McReynolds
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Don Johnson, Caroline Rhea, Bishop Briggs
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Michelle Williams, Jenny Slate, Rob Delaney, Jay Duplass
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, Max Thieriot
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Normani
• “The Never Ever Mets” (OWN): Season 2 premiere
• “2025 NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament” (ESPN): Semfinals: Texas vs South Carolina; Connecticut vs UCLA
• “Secrets Declassified With David Duchovny” (DISC): Series premiere. Exploring and revealing newly available evidence about declassified government activities throughout history.

SATURDAY:
• “2025 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament” (CBS, TSN): Semifinals: Florida vs Auburn; Houston vs Duke
• “Say Yes to the Dress” (TLC): Season 23 premiere
• “Give Me Back My Daughter” (LIFE): Renee and daughter, Imani are left homeless when Renee loses her job. After a job interview, Renee is arrested for leaving Imani in their car, and must navigate family court reunite with her daughter.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jack Black; musical guests Elton John and Brandi Carlile
SUNDAY:
• “An Evening With Elton John and Brandi Carlile” (CBS): They perform songs from their new album at London’s Palladium Theatre, and share stories about their enduring friendship.
• “American Idol” (ABC): Hollywood Week: Showstopper
• “The Simpsons” (FOX): Springfield becomes hooked on a miracle weight loss drug — all except Homer.
• “Sinister Surgeon” (LIFE): A young doctor’s dream job with a top cosmetic surgeon becomes a nightmare when she fears that he may secretly be murdering his patients.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Weeknd – made a surprise performance in Vegas on Tuesday – at CinemaCon. He was there to promote his new movie “Hurry Up Tomorrow”. The Weeknd, billed under his birth name Abel Tesfaye in the film, performed the new songs ‘Cry for Me’ and ‘Open Hearts’, as well as ‘Blinding Lights’, before a second trailer for the film was unveiled. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/nhkfv425
• Justin Bieber — debuted a new tattoo seemingly in honor of his wife Hailey Bieber amid rumors of marriage troubles. During a livestream, fans noticed some new ink on his wrist: a small “H22”. It’s likely that the “H” represents “Hailey”, while the “22” could represent both his wife and their son Jack, as Hailey’s birthday is November 22 and Jack’s is August 22.
• The Bangles — Susanna Hoffs has shared a new recording of ‘Eternal Flame’, which originally appeared on the group’s 1988 album “Everything”. She also has plans to drop another version of the song featuring the chamber ensemble yMusic on April 9, and a new solo album due in the fall. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5e8um4k6
• The Hives – have released their new single ‘Enough is Enough’. It will appear on their upcoming new album “The Hives Forever The Hives”, out Aug. 29. The new record was co-produced by Mike D of the Beastie Boys, and Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age served as “consultant.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ypzue8t3
• Bruce Springsteen — has confirmed that the tease he posted on Tuesday was indeed about the release of the long-awaited “Tracks II The Lost Albums” box set. Out June 27, it includes recordings made between 1983-2018, with 83 previously unreleased songs, apparently comprised of 7 complete albums, each of which was recorded and abandoned. LINK: https://youtu.be/e-QtREEEYgA
• Morgan Wallen – is capitalizing on his controversial “SNL” appearance. His website is selling hats and T-shirts — at $45 a pop — with the phrase “Get me to God’s country” on them. After his abrupt exit during the show’s closing, he skipped the afterparty, then posted a photo of his private jet, which he captioned, “Get me to God’s country.” (And you just know he has a song coming with that title!)
• Blake Shelton – crashed his opening act Drake Milligan’s set in Fishers IN. Both Milligan and the crowd were shocked when Shelton appeared on stage behind him, seemingly out of nowhere. Milligan had finished his set, but he called Milligan back so they could sing George Strait’s ‘All My Ex’s Live in Texas’ – together. Milligan shared video, writing: “As if opening for Blake Shelton wasn’t cool enough …” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2bytxpu5
• Jelly Roll – not only will he be making his acting debut on this season of CBS’ “Fire Country”, he’ll also debut a new song during the episode. A teaser vid gives fans a sneak peek of Jelly Roll in character as ‘Noah’. We also hear snippets of the new song ‘Dreams Don’t Die’, which will be part of the soundtrack for the April 11 episode. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdcpx5er

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “A Minecraft Movie” (PG, Kids/Family): A mysterious portal pulls 4 misfits into the Overworld, a bizarre, wonderland that thrives on imagination. To get home, they’ll have to master the terrain while embarking on a magical quest with an unexpected crafter named Steve. (Jack Black, Jason Momoa, Emma Myers) No Tomatometer rating
• “The Friend” (R, Drama/Comedy, expanding wide): New York City writer Iris finds her comfortable, solitary life thrown into disarray when her mentor bequeaths her a Great Dane named Apollo. The huge dog creates problems for Iris, from furniture destruction to eviction notices, as well as more existential ones. (Bill Murray, Naomi Watts) Tomatometer: 87%
• “Hell of a Summer” (R, Horror/Comedy): The counselors of a summer camp are terrorized by a masked killer. (Finn Wolfhard, Fred Hechinger, Pardis Seremi) Tomatometer: 59%

SNAIL FAIL:
Have you ever thought about swapping your usual vanilla scoop for something…slimier? EasyJet has just unveiled a “snail and garlic-infused” ice cream, complete with crunchy sugar bits to mimic a shell. Yep, you heard that right — escargot ice cream.  This daring dessert is part of a new lineup celebrating EasyJet’s new London Southend base, with each flavor inspired by a different destination, and available at the airport. So, if snail-flavored ice cream isn’t your thing (as if…), maybe you want to try “Spicy Tagine”, which is loaded with Moroccan spices and apricots to transport you straight to Marrakech. Or “Cacio e Pepe”, a creamy mix of parmesan, cracked black pepper, and lemon zest, straight from Pisa? For something sweeter, there’s “Sangria and Chocolate”, which blends fruity Spanish vibes with rich cocoa, and “Pastel de Nata”, an ice cream version of Portugal’s famous custard tart.
(Escargot ice cream? Finally! Something worse than airline food!)
(I’ll take my snails the old-fashioned way — avoiding them entirely!)
-SWNS

THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD:
Forbes has released its 2025 “Rich List”, its ranking of the world’s wealthiest people. Here are the top 10…
1. Elon Musk: $342 Billion – cofounded Tesla, SpaceX, tunneling startup Boring Company, and 4 others. (He’s making lots of money, but we don’t think he’s making many friends these days…!)
2. Mark Zuckerberg: $216 Billion – In 2004, he started Facebook at age 19. Parent company Meta now also owns Instagram, Threads, and WhatsApp, plus other products and services (…as well as all your personal data!).
3. Jeff Bezos: $215 Billion — founded e-commerce giant Amazon in 1994 out of his garage. (And that’s about all he needs!)
4. Larry Ellison: $192 Billion — Chairman, chief technology officer and cofounder of software giant Oracle, of which he owns just under 40%.
5. Bernard Arnault & family: Net Worth: $178 Billion — 75 fashion and cosmetics brands, including Louis Vuitton and Sephora.
6. Warren Buffett: $154 Billion — Known as the “Oracle of Omaha,” he is one of the most successful investors of all time.
7. Larry Page: $144 Billion – He stepped down as CEO of Alphabet, the parent company of Google, in 2019 but remains a board member and a controlling shareholder. (…and still makes more in a day than I dare even dream about!)
8. Sergey Brin: $138 Billion – He stepped down as president of Alphabet, parent company of Google, in December 2019 but remains a board member and a controlling shareholder.
9. Amancio Ortega: $134 Billion – From Spain, the 89-year-old is one of the wealthiest clothing retailers in the world.
10. Steve Ballmer: $118 Billion — Former CEO of Microsoft, who led the company from 2000-2014.
(BTW, experts peg Vlad Putin’s net worth from his web of corruption to be somewhere between #3 and #4, but no one has the paper trail to prove it … either that or they’re afraid to!)
-Forbes

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Romanian woman unknowingly used a 3.5kg (7.7lb) chunk of amber, worth over $1 million, as a doorstop for decades. The stone, which she found in a stream, turned out to be one of the largest intact pieces of amber ever found. Romanian authorities handed the nugget over to the Museum of History in Poland, which has a section dedicated to the study of semi-precious stones. Experts confirmed the authenticity of the amber stone and estimated that it could be 38-70 million years old, and is worth about $1.1 million. Amber, a fossilized tree resin, is prized for its warm hues. (Makes a pretty good doorstop too, apparently!)
➢ Police called to a report of a trespasser at a shopping center in Palm Bay FL found a man in full Ronald McDonald gear, complete with a red and white striped shirt and yellow vest and pants. No red shoes were seen, however. As the cop approached, he said to the bozo: “You look like a clown.” The man replied: “I AM a clown, stupid.” Wrong response. 40-year-old Christopher Mason was charged with trespassing. A body search turned up an orange replica gun and, in a backpack, other clown outfits — and a pack of 10 red noses. This isn’t Mason’s first run-in with the law, either. He has previous convictions for trespass, resisting arrest — and possession of drug paraphernalia following an arrest at …you guessed it… a McDonald’s restaurant. (And not a Hamburglar in sight?)
-NDTV, TheSmokingGun

WORK SMIRKS:
A recently-retired sales executive at Ford sent a farewell email to colleagues – and it came with a list of more than 2,200 verbal gaffes that catalogued over the years during work meetings and conversations. Mike O’Brien had been collecting his list of malapropisms since 2014, and here are some of the best…
☞ “Let’s not reinvent the ocean.”
☞ “Too many cooks in the soup.”
☞ “We need to make sure dealers have some skin in the teeth.”
☞ “Read between the tea leaves.”
☞ “We’re really low on money right now…we’re dancing on thin ice.”
☞ “We need to keep running in our swim lanes.”
☞ “We need to talk about the elephant in the closet.”
☞ “I don’t want to sound like a broken drum here, but…”
☞ “I’m not trying to beat a dead horse to death.”
(What “almost got it right” phrase have you heard around the office?)
-Newser, WSJ

DID YOU KNOW?
A group of barren, uninhabited volcanic islands near Antarctica, covered in glaciers and home to penguins, have been swept up in Donald Trump’s trade war, as the US president has hit them with a 10% tariff on goods. Heard Island and McDonald Islands, an external territory of Australia, are among the remotest places on Earth, accessible only via a 2-week boat voyage from Perth, are completely uninhabited, with the last visit from people believed to be nearly 10 years ago. Nevertheless, the islands are seen in a list released by the White House of “countries” set to be subject to tarriffs. Australian prime minister Anthony Albanese said on Thursday: “Nowhere on Earth is safe.” (Even Atlantis is sweating right now!)
-Guardian

BS CHRONOMETER 04.04.25

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “404 Day”, celebrating(?) the 404 error or, ‘not found’ message. This error occurs when your computer is not able to communicate with a server, or server can’t find what was requested. This date was chosen because the decimal form of April 4 reads “404”.
• “Hug a Newsperson Day”. Caution: wait until he or she has had their morning coffee!
• “International Day for Landmine Awareness & Assistance”, calling for action in countries where mines and explosive remnants of war constitute a serious threat to the safety of the civilian population. (Unfortunately, participation in this can cost you an arm and a leg…)
• “Carrot Day”, when the carrot is celebrated through carrot parties and other carrot-related festivities. (Carrot festivities? The only carrot festivity I want to be a part of is a big hunk of carrot cake . . . hold the carrots!)
• “Ramen Noodle Day”. You don’t need a food “holiday” to crave a bowl of ramen, but Ramen Noodle Day is still a good excuse to slurp savory noodles and broth. (Perfect for those of us who are low on salt!)
• “World Rat Day”, since 2002, recognizing the “dear, sweet animals which deserve greater recognition and admiration”, if you believe the people who own them. They say the rat’s bad image is due to ignorance and prejudice. (Well, that and the plague…) LINK:  http://www.worldratday.com/
• “Walk to Work Day,” You are encouraged to walk for all or part of your commute to work.  (But how am I supposed to get home??)
• “Tell-A-Lie Day”, (***a good day to ask listeners to add to the list of ‘World’s Greatest Lies’ …***)
– “You get this one, I’ll buy the next round.”
– “Drinking? Why no, officer.”
– “Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.”
– “It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.”
– “I gave at the office.”
– “I’m from the government — and I’m here to help.”
– “The check’s in the mail.”
– “Of course I love you.”
– “It was good for me, too.”
– “I’ll call you later.”

SATURDAY:
• “Dandelion Day”. Today, we celebrate the benefits and beauty of this perennial plant that many consider a weed. Its name comes from the French “dent de lion,” meaning “lion’s tooth”, a reference to the jagged tooth-like edges of its leaves. Dandelions are high in Vitamins A, B, C and D, and were used by Native North Americans to treat kidney disease, swelling and skin problems.
• “Deep Dish Pizza Day”, celebrating the creation of Chicago’s Uno Chicago Grill, which opened in 1943. Why deep dish? Because you can’t possibly get enough fat-laden cheese and sausage onto a regular pie to cause a proper cardiac arrest.
• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, all or nothing, 110%, let ’er rip, balls to the wall! (Now I need a nap…)
• “Road Map Day”, to promote map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and survival skill. (A friend of mine always helps me out with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean. The guy is a legend!)
• “Bell Bottoms Day”. You’ll notice this is NOT held in conjunction with “Ride Your Bike Day”.
• “Caramel Day”. Made with butter, brown and white sugar, milk or cream, and vanilla, it is usually enjoyed as an ice cream topping, a candy filling, with chocolate, or on its own. (I enjoy mine with a funnel!)
• “International Pillow Fight Day”, when massive pillow fights are scheduled in cities worldwide from Amsterdam to Zurich. (Why go to one of these, when your little brother is so much closer?)

SUNDAY:
• “Drowsy Driver Awareness Day”, an annual initiative to encourage motorists to take notice when they’re too sleepy to steer. In one poll, more than 10% of drivers admitted to having fallen asleep at the wheel; and over 20% had momentarily dozed while driving. (The rest of us slept through it…)
• “Twinkie Day”. Originally filled with banana cream, the oldest existing Twinkie has been on display at George Stevens Academy in Blue Hill, Maine since 1976. (I bet you can find an older one at your corner grocery store…) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3tx2cp/
• “Tartan Day”, a day set aside for the celebration of Scottish influence, on the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320. More practically, it’s now the day that officially kicks off the annual Scottish tourism season.
• “Teflon Day”, commemorating the accidental 1938 discovery of the coating used to create non-stick surfaces by Du Pont researcher Roy Plunkett. (How do they get it to stick to a pan?)
• “Caramel Popcorn Day”, the buttery sugar goodness of caramel combined with the light airy nature of popcorn creates an amazing flavor combo that you just can’t stop eating. To make it even better, add peanuts, almonds, cashews, or even pecan (plus lint and cat hair, because your hands are so sticky…)
• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, one of 2 days annually dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death. So, what would you like yours to say?
ACTUAL FUNNY GRAVESTONE EPITAPHS:
☞ Raised four beautiful daughters with only one bathroom and still there was love
☞ Now I know something you don’t
☞ We finally found a place to park in Georgetown
☞ I was hoping for a pyramid
☞ If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [81] Craig T. Nelson, Spokane WA, TV actor (“Parenthood” 2010-2015, “Coach” 1989-1997)/movie actor (“The Incredibles” movies, “Poltergeist”)

1963 [62] Graham Norton (Walker), County Cork Ireland, TV host (“The Graham Norton Show” since 2007)

1964 [61] David Cross, comedian-TV actor (‘Tobias Fünke’ on “Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013-19)

1965 [60] Robert Downey Jr, NYC, movie actor (“Iron Man” and “Avengers” films, Oscar-“Oppenheimer”) COMING UP… “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” 2025

1970 [55] Barry Pepper, Campbell River BC, movie actor (“True Grit”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/TV actor (“The Kennedys”) COMING UP… “Solitary”

1971 [54] Josh Todd, LA CA, rock singer (Buckcherry-‘Sorry’, ‘Lit Up’)

1973 [52] David Blaine (White), Brooklyn NY, illusionist (suspended over the River Thames for 44 days, buried alive, frozen in a block of ice, caught a bullet in his mouth…)/star of TV specials like “David Blaine: Street Magic” and “Magic Man”

1979 [46] Natasha Lyonne, NYC, TV actress (“Orange Is the New Black” 2013-18, “Poker Face” 2023)/movie actress (“American Pie” movies)

1991 [34] Jamie Lynn Spears, McComb MS, TV actress (‘Zoey’ on “Zoey 101” 2005-08, “Sweet Magnolias” since 2020)/country singer-songwriter/sister of Britney Spears

SATURDAY- Agnetha Fältskog (ABBA) is 73; Mitch Pileggi (“X-Files”) is 73; Mike McCready (Pearl Jam) is 59; Paula Cole (‘I Don’t Want to Wait’) is 57; Pharrell Williams (‘Happy’) is 52; Sterling K. Brown (“This Is Us”) is 49; Zak Bagans (“Ghost Adventures”) is 48; Mike Eli (Eli Young Band) is 45; Lily James (“Downton Abbey”) is 36
SUNDAY- Billy Dee Williams (“Star Wars”) is 88; John Ratzenberger (“Cheers”) is 78; Paul Rudd (“Ant-Man”) is 56; Zach Braff (“Scrubs”) is 50; Candace Cameron Bure (“Full House”) is 49; Charlie McDermott (“The Middle”) is 35

ON THIS DAY . . .
1968 [57] Civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated by James Earl Ray at the Lorraine Hotel in Memphis TN.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2013 [12] Movie critic/TV personality/screenwriter Roger Ebert dies of cancer at age 70.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [17] Beyoncé marries Jay-Z at his New York apartment. Coldplay’s Chris Martin and wife Gwyneth Paltrow, and Beyoncé’s former Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, all attend the private ceremony. (Still together. Who’d a thunk it?)

2009 [16] Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Little Anthony & The Imperials, and Bobby Womack are inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

2023 [02] The first truly believable AI-generated song appears online. An anonymous TikTok user posts ‘Heart On My Sleeve’, mimicking the voices of Drake and The Weeknd. It quickly raises the issue of copyright with AI music.

TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
1982 [43] Edmonton Oiler Wayne Gretzky finishes the NHL season with 212 points, to become first and only player to break the 200-point barrier. (He goes on to do it 3 more times.)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2017 [08] A stunning 59.6 carat diamond known as the ‘Pink star’ sets the world record price of $71.2 million for a gem, at an action in Hong Kong.

2019 [06] Amazon’s Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos agree to a record-breaking $38.3 billion divorce settlement. (It was exceeded in 2021 by Bill and Melinda Gates’ $76 billion settlement.)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Of the 9,000 Blockbuster stores that existed in the early 1990s, only one remains, in Bend, Oregon. It buys its movies from Walmart and Target stores.
✓ Ancient Roman surgeons were trained to block out the screams of human pain.
✓ Mars has a mountain named Olympic Mons, which is almost 3 times taller than Everest.
✓ You blink 5-10 million times per year.
✓ Snakes can sense a coming earthquake from 75 miles (121km) away, up to 5 days before it happens.
✓ From 1937-1953, NBC’s “Today Show” had a chimpanzee co-host named J. Fred Muggs. It is estimated he brought in the for network around $100 million.
-Penguin, Facts

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’RE ON A BUDGET VACATION:
• There is a sign in the bathroom that says, “Please re-wrap the bar of soap for our next visitor”.
• You bought tickets to something called ‘4 Flags’ amusement park.
• As part of your cruise, you’ve agreed to help the captain harpoon a great white shark in front of a camera crew.
• The towels have another hotel’s name on them.
• You carry a laptop containing an Excel file with estimated expenses for each activity that you plan to do.
• You announced the trip to your family with the words, “My cousin has a spare room!”
• 2 beds, 20 people.
• You can see your house from the hotel.
• Every time you set up camp, the police order you to move along.
• The place you’re booked to stay at offers bed OR breakfast.
• You spend a week just staring at your screen saver, pretending you’re there…
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ MLB just wrapped the first week of the 2025 season. This year, for $250 dollars, you can have your marriage proposal shown live on the Jumbotron at Fenway Park in Boston. (It’s also the only way Red Sox fans will get to see anyone receive a ring!)
➠ It starts off at 68 then quickly down to 64, goes to 32, 16, then 8 and finally to 4. (. . . but enough about Tesla stock, let’s talk about NCAA Men’s Basketball!!!)
➠ Tuesday was April Fools’ Day, a day that people tried to fool their friends and relatives. (Not to be confused with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS!)
➠ High Wind Alert: Multiple crashes occurred on major interstates across the Southwest due to severe dust storms. (Allergies are so bad in Arizona right now, drug dealers are trying to change crystal meth back into Sudafed…!)
➠ This week is the 52nd anniversary of the first cellphone call. (Historians still don’t know which movie theater it took place in…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Have a rockin’ weekend:  https://tinyurl.com/6x7ckmbe

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I need to get into shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle…

☎ BS PHONE STARTER:
What faux-pas did you make — that you’ll never forget?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
29% of people admit to drinking THIS for breakfast. What is it?
Answer:  Soda pop

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Despite what the forecast may tell you, live like it’s spring.