Thursday, April 27, 2023 — Edition: #7462

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kim Kardashian has spent years doing reality TV, but she’d be willing to give it all up to work as a lawyer. The SKIMS founder has been studying to become a lawyer, with her journey being filmed on camera for “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”. Speaking at the TIME100 Summit in New York, Kardashian said when asked if she’d ever want to take a step back and live life not in front of a camera: “I would be just as happy being an attorney full time.” Kardashian, who has worked to get those in prison for nonviolent drug charges and other minor crimes released, told moderator Poppy Harlow that she hopes her legal efforts will be “her life’s most meaningful work.”
-ETCanada
★ Ryan Gosling says he wasn’t sure he had the “Ken-ergy” required for his role in “Barbie”. He and co-star Margot Robbie got together in Las Vegas for CinemaCon, and during their onstage appearance to promote the upcoming film, Gosling was asked how he went about tackling the role. His response: “I have to be honest…up until this point, I only knew Ken from afar. I didn’t know Ken from within.” Despite his apprehension, Gosling said: “Margot and (director) Greta (Gerwig)…conjured this out of me somewhere.” “Barbie” premieres July 21.
-ETCanada
★ Daniel Radcliffe and his longtime girlfriend, Erin Darke, have welcomed their first baby. The couple were spotted pushing a stroller in New York City on Monday, in photos obtained by Daily Mail. The actor’s rep didn’t respond to a request for comment. News broke in March that the “Miracle Workers” co-stars were starting a family. They’ve been together since meeting on the “Kill Your Darlings” set in 2012.
-PageSix
★ Steven Spielberg regrets that he re-edited his 1982 classic “E.T.” to appeal to modern audiences. The legendary director specifically wishes he never changed one scene that showed government agents armed with guns. The scene ultimately didn’t make it into the 2002 re-release of the film and instead had the guns replaced with walkie talkies. Tuesday at the Time 100 Summit, he said: “That was a mistake….I never should have done that because ‘E.T.’ was a product of its era.” Spielberg went on to say: “No film should be revised based on the lenses we now are, either voluntarily or being forced to peer through.”
-NYPost
★ Another classic “Frasier” character will return for the upcoming Paramount+ revival. Peri Gilpin will reprise her role as radio show producer ‘Roz Doyle’. It’s unclear how Roz will fit into the story, since the revival sees Kelsey Grammer’s ‘Frasier Crane’ back in Boston, far from the Seattle setting of the original series. It is reported that Gilpin will return in a guest-starring role. Bebe Neuwirth is also slated to return as Frasier’s ex-wife, ‘Lilith Sternin’.
-PopCulture
★ Sharon Osbourne is done having facelifts. The 70-year-old had another “full facelift” in October 2021, and she says: That one put me off and it frightens me.” The former TV host and wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne said she now realizes that “Time is against me, I cannot have another facelift.” Last year, she told the Sunday Times that after her latest procedure, “I’m, like, ‘You’ve got to be (freaking) joking.’ One eye was different to the other. I looked like a (freaking) Cyclops. I’m, like, ‘All I need is a hunchback.’”
-ETCanada

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Chris Pratt, Lukas & Micah Nelson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Drew Barrymore, Lizzy Caplan, Young Mazino, the National
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Prince Harry (R)
• “The Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Final episode featuring Harry Styles, Will Ferrell
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Judy Blume, Sunny Hostin
•  “The Daily Show” (COM): Sophia Bush, guest host Desi Lydic
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Stanley Tucci, Ben Platt
• “The Talk” (CBS): James Corden, Krysten Ritter
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Ever Anderson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Rachel McAdams, Abby Ryder Fortson, Judy Blume, The Heavy
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Danny Seo, Zanna Roberts Rassi, Pilar Valdes
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Milo Ventimiglia, Tori Kelly, Sophia Roe
• “2023 NFL Draft” (ABC): Round 1. ABC analysts break down the first picks in the 2023 draft.
• “The Last Last Late Late Show” (CBS): Celebrating the final night of “The Late Late Show With James Corden”. Guests include Tom Cruise and Adele.
• “Law & Order” (NBC): Cosgrove and Shaw investigate the murder of a physician whose politician wife suspects she was the intended target. Followed by new episodes of “SVU” and “Organized Crime.”
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Tampa Bay @ Toronto; NY Rangers @ New Jersey; Winnipeg @ Vegas

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – took part in the final “Late Late Show with James Corden” ‘Carpool Karaoke’ segment, which airs during the final episode of the show tonight. It was filmed when Adele picked the host up bright and early for an emotional final drive to the CBS lot. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yh29k3ya
• Taylor Swift — Following the devastating news that 20-year-old fan Jacob Lewis was killed by a suspected drunk driver while on his way home from an Eras Tour show in Houston, supporters have rallied to honor him with a special friendship bracelet project and GoFundMe donations. In 2 days, the page raised $110,000 for Lewis’ funeral costs, almost double the fundraising goal. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p96enwt
• Finger Eleven – has released its first single in more than 7 years, ‘Together Right’. It will appear on the band’s upcoming “Greatest Hits” album, which will also feature a previously unreleased cover of Pink Floyd’s ‘Welcome to The Machine’, a longtime Finger Eleven concert favorite. The album drops June 16. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3rpr3ea9
• Slipknot – frontman Corey Taylor has an idea who he’d like to see play him in a band biopic – Tom Hardy. Quote: “I could see him pulling off the passion I’ve got when I just wanna rip the mask off and scream in everyone’s face.” He also pointed to Taron Egerton, “if he hadn’t played Elton John.”
• Metallica – Their new album “72 Seasons” debuted at #2 on Billboard. Despite 146,000 sales and 16 million streams, the band’s 32-year streak of opening at #1 on the chart ended. Morgan Wallen’s “One Thing at a Time” held the rockers from the top spot with 166,000 equivalent units.
• Carly Pearce – The Bluegrass State native will be singing the National Anthem ahead of the 2023 Kentucky Derby on May 6. She teased her performance with a video unboxing of her headpiece. The caption: “Hmmm what could this mean?? Place your bets below…” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n7vhds9
• Sam Hunt and Eric Church – are among the artists who will pay tribute to Willie Nelson, the recipient of the LBJ Foundation’s 2023 LBJ Liberty & Justice for All Award. Elle King and Lyle Lovett will also take the stage at the gala event on May 12 in Austin TX. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4pvjbvzx
• Dolly Parton — On “Good Morning America”, she announced that in addition to co-hosting the ACM Awards with Garth Brooks on May 11, she’ll perform the first single off her upcoming rock album “Rock Star”. Although much of that album will consist of cover tunes, she’ll debut an original called ‘World on Fire’. Quote: “You know, ‘Liar, liar, the world’s on fire / Whatcha gonna do when it all burns down?'”

SHOOTING THE BULL

KID STUFF:
A so-called “name expert” who helps parents pick their children’s names says upcoming trends include gender-neutral monikers and using last names for first names. Colleen Slagen, who started offering parents consultations on names following a lifelong “obsession” with baby names, now receives up to 5 requests a day for naming assistance, and charges $175-250 for her expertise. She feels that name trends in the US for 2023 will include surnames such as Sutton, Miller and Brooke. Some go-to tips for people searching for a perfect name include:
• Looking at what retailers name their products.
• Using public records to see how common a name is.
• Look at baby-focused companies that name products after kids.
Slagen also suggests observing what others are naming their children, or observing social media or discussion boards for ideas. Other trends she has noticed: “With girls we’re seeing a lot of feminine, vintage names like Margot or Eloise. With boys…parents are keener to have nick-nameable names like August which can be shortened to Gus or Augie.”
(Oh, don’t worry about that. No matter what name you choose, other kids will come up with a good nickname, no problem!)
(Here’s MY tip: Look at whatever Elon Musk is naming his kids these days, and don’t do that!)
-SWNS

FAST WORDS ON FAST FOODS:
⇒ I hate to be the one to break it to you, but new research suggests that French fries may be linked to depression. A research team in China found that frequent consumption of fried foods, especially fried potatoes, is linked with a 12% higher risk of anxiety and 7% higher risk of depression than in people who don’t eat fried foods. The link was more pronounced among younger consumers. Fried foods are already known risk factors for obesity, high blood pressure and other health effects, but these results “open an avenue in the significance of reducing fried food consumption for mental health,” according to the researchers. (Of course, in my case, FINISHING my French fries is linked with depression!)
⇒ Toronto ON is the latest city to experience Karen’s Diner, a concept built on “great burgers and rude service”. Turning the tables on demanding and entitled “Karens” — the stereotypical customer who asks to speak to the manager and makes the most ridiculous requests — the pop-up is known for its rude staff, and guaranteed poor customer service that warrant negative reviews. With14 locations in Australia, the UK and US, this is the first Canadian experience that’s staffed with sassy locals who are keen to give you the finger or roast you in front of your date. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yxntj2ft  (I checked the menu — $55 for a burger meal?! I demand to speak with Karen’s manager!)
-DailyHive

HIS SCHOLARSHIP HAS COME IN:
A New Orleans high school senior is believed to have broken a record by receiving more than $9 million in scholarship offers. Dennis Barnes, a senior at International High School, received acceptance letters from 125 colleges and universities, after applying to about 200. Barnes is hoping to total $10 million in scholarship offers by the end of the month. The student, who has a cumulative grade point average of 4.98, said he plans to pursue a dual undergraduate degree in computer science and criminal justice. He’ll announce his college decision on Tuesday.
(Wow! $9 million in scholarships, and he doesn’t even play football!)
(Maybe instead, he should become a teacher…and teach people how to fill out applications…!)
-UPI

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN:
A Reddit user asked: “What bit of common knowledge did you learn embarrassingly late in life?” Here are some of the more memorable answers…
☞ “There’s no such thing as “feeling like an adult” I’m 34 and still forget I’m an adult sometimes lol” Similarly, another wrote: “Everyone is just (freaking) winging it.”
☞ “HR is there to protect the company, not you. HR is not your friend.”
☞ “That just because two people are in love doesn’t mean they should be together.”
☞ “That my height shapes how people perceive (me). I’m a 6’4 male with a deep voice. I learned it at 40 when I had a boss who was 6’6. I was suddenly aware of my own height and the power position, looking up to him.”
☞ “‘The rules’ do not apply evenly.”
☞ “You know metal? that genre of music that’s loud and yelly? It’s called metal because it’s harder than rock.”
☞ “It never made sense to me that we would go under tables during an earthquake, because wouldn’t the ground (still) crack open?…It wasn’t until last year I realised that it was to stop debris from falling on us.”
☞ “That we should shake the CEO’s hand with the exact same enthusiasm and firmness as the janitor’s hand.”
(OK, what did YOU learn way later than you should have? It was pretty embarrassing when I mispronounced “queue” during a presentation. Who knew the words “kwee-wee” could make so many people laugh…!)
-BoredPanda

DID YOU KNOW?
Covid-sniffing dogs can help detect infections in schools, a new study suggests. By simply smelling ankles and feet, canines are already being used to screen for Covid infections in sports venues, airports and other public settings. Now, research, published this week in the journal JAMA Pediatrics says the sniffing technique should be incorporated in grade schools as a fun way to detect traces of the disease. It has been found that dogs alerted their handlers to infections with an accuracy rating of 90%. (Nice. Dogs are getting better test results at school than my kids are!)
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 04.27.23

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day”, designed to inspire children to explore the workforce. It also helps them to see the different roles required to run a business or to complete a project. (“Gee, Mom, since the pandemic, your workplace looks an awful lot like our living room. Oh, wait. It is…”)
• “Tell a Story Day”, If you don’t have children to tell a story to, a friend will probably loan you theirs for a couple of hours. Gladly.
• “Babe Ruth Day”, This date in 1947, “The Bambino” returned to “The House that Ruth Built” to be honored after a legendary baseball career. (AKA: ‘The Sultan of Swat’, ‘The Behemoth of Bust’, ‘The Caliph of Clout’, ‘The Big Bam’, ‘The Babe’.)
• “Prime Rib Day”, a food holiday honoring what may be the best cut of beef you can get. Only one way to celebrate … with a big, thick, juicy cut of prime rib, cooked perfectly to your liking. Don’t forget the au jus and the fully-loaded baked potato! (And never, EVER order one well-done!)
• “Morse Code Day”, in case you want to embrace a technology that has pretty much disappeared. Developer Samuel Morse was born on this date in 1791. (Dash-dot-dot-dot … dot-dot-dash …)
• “Freedom Day”, a South African holiday celebrating the country’s first post-apartheid elections, held on this day in 1994. The African National Congress won a sweeping victory, which ushered in Nelson Mandela as the country’s first Black President.
• “Marine Mammal Rescue Day”, to celebrate the efforts of those who have made a positive impact on sea life. It’s also a day to reflect on our impact on climate change, which directly affects the health of marine mammals. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/36a5c99x
• “Little Pampered Dog Day”, to celebrate owners who truly care for and love their dogs. It’s also to bring attention to the fact that not all dogs are so lucky.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Blueberry Pie Day
[Fri] Clean Comedy Day
[Sat] Shrimp Scampi Day
[Sun] Adopt a Shelter Pet Day
This Week is…Medical Laboratory Professionals Week
This Month is…Car Care Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [75] (Silas) “Si” Robertson, Vivian LA, TV reality star (‘Uncle Si’ on “Duck Dynasty” 2012-17, “Going Si-Ral” 2016-17)/preacher/Vietnam War veteran/former duck call maker at Duck Commander

1948 [75] Kate Pierson, Weehawken NJ, rock singer-multi-instrumentalist (B-52s-‘Love Shack’, ‘Rock Lobster’, R.E.M.-‘Shiny Happy People’

1951 [72] (Paul) “Ace” Frehley, The Bronx NY, rock guitarist-singer (‘New York Groove’, Kiss-‘Rock and Roll All Nite’)

1959 [64] Sheena Easton, Bellshill Scotland, pop singer (‘For Your Eyes Only’, ‘9 to 5 [Morning Train]’)

1984 [39] Patrick Stump, Glenview IL, pop-rock singer-guitarist (Fall Out Boy-‘This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race’)

1986 [37] Jenna Coleman, Blackpool England, TV actress (“Dr. Who” 2012-17)/movie actress (“Captain America: The First Avenger”) COMING UP… “Wilderness” TV series

1988 [35] Lizzo (Melissa Jefferson), Detroit MI, rapper (‘About Damn Time’, ‘Juice’)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [09] George Clooney and Brit attorney Amal Alamuddin announce their engagement

2014 [09] “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” premieres on HBO

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [17] 62-year-old Keith Richards falls from a tree while vacationing in Fiji, landing on his head and causing a hemorrhage that requires doctors to drain his skull (he eventually makes a full recovery … we think)

2018 [05] ABBA announce they have recorded new songs for the first time since 1982 (they were finally released in late 2021)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2005 [18] The ‘super jumbo’ Airbus A380 aircraft makes its debut flight from Toulouse, France

2006 [17] Construction begins on NYC’s Freedom Tower (now named One World Trade Center)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [37] Andoni Dominguez of Spain sets a world record by eating 2.4 lbs of snails (a little over a kilo) in 65 seconds (When asked how he felt afterward, he replied: “Sluggish.”)

BULL’S BITS 

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ There is more money loaded on Starbucks cards and the Starbucks mobile app than some banks have in deposits.
✓ According to studies, men change their minds 2 to 3 times more often than women.
✓ Every time you shuffle a deck of cards, you get a combination that’s probably never existed.
✓ When pitched, the average Major League baseball rotates 15 times before being hit.
✓ From a complete stop, a human is capable of outrunning a Formula One Race car for about 30 feet.
✓ Boring, Oregon, Dull, Scotland, and Bland, Australia are sister cities.
-UberFacts, BestLife

Best of BS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why is it that ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing?
• Does ‘fuzzy logic’ tickle?
• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• How come there’s never time to do it right, only time to do it over?
• How do you make a U-turn in countries that don’t have ‘U’ in their alphabets?
• At an all-you-can-eat buffet, do you have to pay full price if you eat less than you can?
• Are children ever ruly?
-First Published in BS in 2012

BS SIGNS YOU’VE SCREWED UP:
• You receive an invitation to a “mandatory” meeting with HR.
• You wake up wearing clothes that aren’t yours.
• You receive a text back that says “Fine”.
• Your last four status updates have been from prison.
• Your priest tells you to gargle holy water.
• Strangely, there is a horde of reporters gathered outside your office.
• Your lawyers have lawyers.
• You ask where your pillow is, and she points toward the couch.
• You recognize your house on “COPS Live”. Then the doorbell rings.
• You got caught.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS WEB GOODIE:
Definitely didn’t “see” that coming:   https://tinyurl.com/mt5kzsju

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them — are parents.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What word do you always misspell? (And remember: The only time the word “incorrectly” isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled “incorrectly”…)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A survey found that THIS causes people to panic about 3 times a month. What is it?
Answer:  The feeling that they have nothing to wear

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” – Babe Ruth (***See ‘Reasons to Party’, above***)