April 24 2019

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Wednesday, April 24, 2019 Edition: #6437

Deja Moo!

★ It’s been two months since Beverly Hills, 90210’s Luke Perry passed away after suffering a stroke. Now, it has been revealed that the last episode he filmed for his hit series “Riverdale” will air tonight on Netflix. Showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa says that the episode is going to be a tearjerker, particularly some sweet moments between Perry and his on-screen son, played by KJ Apa.
★ Nicolas Cage’s estranged wife doesn’t care that they were only married for four days before he filed for an annulment — she says it still counts… and she wants his money. Erika Koike has filed legal documents which state that while she agrees the two aren’t fit for marriage, she is asking for spousal support and legal costs.  She claims she lost career opportunities during her long relationship with Cage and her reputation has been damaged by his allegations. Cage claims he “reacted on impulse and without the ability to recognize or understand the full impact of his actions,” and says the marriage was based on fraud.
★ Kiefer Sutherland says he would love for “24” to return if there was a way it made sense for him to return as Jack Bauer. Sutherland says, ”That was a whole decade of my life and I loved making that show. I would have played the character until the day I died if it wasn’t just going to feel ridiculous – how many bad days could one guy have?” Lately, he has turned his attention to country music but he insists acting will always be the ”great love” of his life. Is music his main focus now? Sutherland says he recently finished the third season of “Designated Survivor”, and according to him, “I’ll be an actor until the day I die.”
★ Jennifer Lopez will be continuing her return to the rom-com genre, with a new feature called “Marry Me.” Owen Wilson is in final negotiations to star in the film based on a graphic novel of the same name by Bobby Crosby. Marry Me centers around a pop superstar (Lopez) who, moments before marrying her rock-star fiancé at Madison Square Garden, finds out that he was cheating on her with her assistant and spontaneously melts down on stage and picks a random math teacher (Wilson) out of the crowd to marry instead.
★ David Picker, who headed United Artists, Paramount and Columbia’s motion picture divisions and was known for forging relationships with ground-breaking filmmakers and material, died Saturday in New York. He was 87 and had been suffering from colon cancer. Picker brought the James Bond novels and the Beatles to United Artists; helped launch Steve Martin’s movie career and oversaw boundary-pushing movies like “Last Tango in Paris” and “Midnight Cowboy.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Don Cheadle, Kiernan Shipka, Hozier (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Brie Larson, Wyatt Cenac, Wu-Tang Clan
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Emilia Clarke, Henry Winkler, H.E.R. (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amy Schumer, Natalie Morales, Pup (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Sen. Elizabeth Warren, 50 Cent, TNT Boys (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Howie Mandel
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Luann De Lesseps, Barbara Kavovit
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, Julian Lennon
• “The Talk” (CBS): Seth MacFarlane
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tony Goldwyn, Ralph Macchio, Dr. Taz Bhatia
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): People magazine’s 2019 “Most Beautiful” issue cover star, LSD
• “Survivor: Edge of Extinction” (CBS): Another blindside could be in sight after alliances start to crumble. Also, one castaway comes out on top after a crucial immunity win.

• The Jonas Brothers — have confirmed that their comeback album, “Happiness Begins” will be released on June 7. Kevin Jonas says this is the album he is most ”proud” of.
• Pink — says she won’t be posting photos of her kids on social media anymore after she received hateful comments over an image of her 2-year old son not wearing diapers. During an appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, Pink said: “We live on a farm. My kids are naked. It’s what happens. I’m naked sometimes.”
• Prince – His memoir, documenting his rise from his humble Minneapolis beginnings to international stardom in the 1980s, is set to come out on Oct. 29. It will be the centerpiece of “The Beautiful Ones”, a collection which will also include never-been-seen photos, lyric sheets in Prince’s handwriting, and the pages he had started writing before his death in April 2016.
• John Lennon – “Nowhere Boy”, the 2009 biopic that starred Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the young John Lennon, is being developed for the stage. The story traces his initial steps into the music world and the creation in 1956 of his first band, The Quarrymen, which also featured Paul McCartney.
• Eric Clapton — has announced a brief U.S. tour.  He’ll play three shows on the West Coast this fall as a run-up to his Crossroads Guitar Festival Sept. 20-21 in Dallas. The newly announced dates are: Sept. 11 in San Francisco, Las Vegas on Sept. 13 and a gig in Phoenix on Sept. 14.
• Brad Paisley – His 2013 live collaboration with The Rolling Stones on their classic ‘Dead Flowers’, is featured on their new greatest hits compilation, “Honk.” Paisley, an avowed Stones fan, once said, “I’ve been ripping the Rolling Stones off with every song I write in some form or another.”
• Toby Keith — has announced his “2019 That’s Country Bro! Tour”. He’ll begin the first leg at the Tree Town Music Festival in Forest City, Iowa, on May 26. A total of 28 stops have been announced, with a promise of more to come.

We all want to do what’s best for the environment.  From recycling whenever possible, to switching to high-efficiency lightbulbs, to paying a carbon tax (yeah, THAT should help!), we like to think we are helping in at least some small way.  But according to the environmentalist group “Project Drawdown,” the single most impactful thing that we can do as individuals to reduce carbon emissions when it comes to what we eat is to . . .throw away less food. One-third of all food produced on earth is wasted, and that accounts for about 8 per cent of global emissions.  Rounding out the top four ways you can help, in order, are eating a plant-heavy diet, cooking over clean stoves, and composting your waste.  Their stats, released in time for their “Drawdown EcoChallenge”, which ends today, show that if all the world’s cattle formed their own nation, they would be the planet’s third-largest emitter of greenhouse gases.  That means eating less meat, especially beef, is good for the environment.
(And we all have a steak in our future!)
(If cows were smart enough to form their own nation, I don’t think that climate change would be our biggest worry!)
-CNN, Drawdown

I’m not so sure that all those guys walking around all proud of their chest-length beards are going to be overjoyed to hear this.  A new study from Switzerland suggests that men’s beards actually have more germs than a dog.  The study, carried out on 30 furry dogs and 18 bearded men, examined the bacterial load in specimens taken from the test subjects and the extent of bacterial contamination of an MRI scanner used by both dogs and humans.  It turns out that ALL the guys with beards showed high microbial counts, while only 23 of the 30 dogs did.  They study showed that seven of the men had so much beard bacteria that they were at risk of getting sick. Study author Andreas Gutzeit says that “On the basis of these findings, dogs can be considered as clean, compared with bearded men.”
(If nothing else, those guys should have a well-developed immune system!)
(If the study tells us one thing, it’s that dogs should be allowed to use human MRI machines!)
(Now, what if one of those dogs was a Bearded Collie?  Just askin’…)

☞ Apples:  Can last a week or two at room temperature, but can get mealy quickly if kept in the fridge.  And they can cause other fruits to ripen more quickly if kept in the fridge with them.
☞ Bananas: They hold on to their nutrients better when they are kept out of the fridge. Cold temperatures actually slow down the ripening process (same with avocadoes). But there is also a lot of moisture in most refrigerators which can cause bananas to turn brown or even black.
☞ Bread:  The fridge not only dries bread out, but at cold temperatures, bread will turn stale, dry, and tasteless. Also, bread acts as a kind of sponge and it will soak up whatever odors are lingering around your fridge. (Which explains a lot about the taste of the sandwich I had for lunch yesterday!)
☞ Coffee:  You can keep coffee in the fridge as long as it’s in an airtight container. This goes for both coffee beans and leftover brewed coffee. Generally, coffee beans need to be in a cool dry place, and a fridge is cool, but not very dry.
☞ Ketchup:  Doesn’t need to be stored in the fridge because it is chock-full of preservatives.  That’s why all restaurants are able to leave it on their tables all day long. (But if I don’t put it in the fridge, I’ll never know where it is!)
☞ Chocolate:  Although many people love cold chocolate, the ideal temperature for it is 65-68F.  Only store chocolate in the fridge if conditions are so hot that it is at risk of melting.  (As if there is any chance it being around long enough for THAT to happen…)
☞ Eggs (!!):  In many countries, eggs aren’t kept in the refrigerator in grocery stores or in homes. A study recently showed that it makes no difference whether or not you store your eggs in the fridge, so you might as well save yourself some fridge space. (Somehow, I don’t see this changing anyone’s mind…)

You can boost your brainpower by gardening. Studies show there’s a certain type of bacteria in soil that we breathe in, and seeps in through our skin – and it makes us calmer and better thinkers. The bacteria stimulate the growth of brain neurons, and boost production of the brain chemical serotonin, which reduces anxiety.


1942 [77] Barbra Streisand, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (1969 Oscar-“Funny Girl”)/film director (“The Prince of Tides”)/pop singer (‘The Way We Were’)

1952 [67] Jean-Paul Gaultier, Arcueil, France, haute couture fashion designer (Jean Paul Gaultier, Hermès)

1964 [55] Cedric the Entertainer (Cedric Antonio Kyles), Jefferson City MO, movie actor (“Barbershop”, “A Series of Unfortunate Events”)

1973 [46] Brian Marshall, Fort Walton Beach FL, rock bassist (Creed-‘With Arms Wide Open’; Alter Bridge-‘Open Your Eyes’)

1982 [37] Kelly Clarkson, Fort Worth TX, pop singer (‘Stronger’, ‘Since U Been Gone’)/original “American Idol” winner (2002)/TV personality (Judge on “The Voice” 2018-19, set to host “The Kelly Clarkson Show”, Sept. 2019)

1984 [35] Tyson Ritter, Stillwater OK, alt-rock singer-bassist (All American Rejects-‘Gives You Hell’)

1992 [27] Joe Keery, Newburyport MA, TV actor (“Steve” on “Stranger Things” since 2016)

• “Pigs in a Blanket Day”, celebrating the breakfast taste-treat of sausage wrapped in a pancake.

• “New Kids on The Block Day”, yup, the singing group. Some refer to NKOTB as the original boy band that set examples for its successors. And by examples, I mean dance moves.

• “World Meningitis Day”, for people to raise their voices against meningitis, through telling patient stories, raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of the disease, and increasing knowledge of available vaccines. Over 1 million people are affected each year.

• “Guide Dog Day”, celebrating the importance of guide dogs and how they help the blind and visually impaired live their daily lives. Stats show 70% of guide dogs are Labrador Retrievers, 15% Golden Retrievers, and 15% German Shepherds. It takes them 2 years to complete training. BS FUN FACT: Standard Poodles are sometimes used as guide dogs in homes where someone is allergic to dog hair.

• “Administrative Professionals Day” (“Secretaries Day” in ancient times), the annual observance saluting those dedicated souls in the office who do the work in the trenches.

• “Denim Day”, millions of people across the world will wear jeans with a purpose today: to support survivors, and educate themselves and others about all forms of sexual violence.
LINK: www.denimdayinfo.org

[Thurs] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
[Thurs] National Plumber’s Day
[Fri] Get Organized Day
[Fri] Hug a Friend Day

1992 [27] Rock star David Bowie weds supermodel Iman in Switzerland

2006 [13] Billy Joel becomes the first non-athlete to earn a banner at Madison Square Garden when he sells out the venue for the 12th time. His #12 hangs alongside retired greats who played in the Garden such as Willis Reed, Walt Frazier and Mark Messier.

2007 [12] US president George W Bush is denied a luxury suite at the Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria when Mick Jagger, in town with a Rolling Stones tour, books it first

2005 [14] ‘Snuppy’, the world’s 1st cloned dog, is born in South Korea (and is soon leaving his own genetic information all over the place)


✓ A study found that poor people are generally more generous than rich people.
✓ People who eat spicy foods tend to live longer.
✓ Earthworms are 82% protein, rich in Omega 3, and pair well with cumin and curry.
✓ Parrots name their children, and those names, like ours, stick for life.
✓ People who play video games are more likely to have control over their actions in dreams, than those who don’t.
✓ August has the most birthdays, February has the least, and most serial killers are born in November.

• The trainer said I have athlete’s foot, but really, aren’t they both athlete’s feet?
• Instead of calling me a ‘jock’, why don’t they call me an athletic supporter?
• Seriously, what the heck is a balk?
• If I’m playing shortstop, and my zipper’s undone, does the infield fly rule apply?
• Does this face paint match my eyes?
• How is it even possible to give 110%?
• If I wasn’t so good at football, would my parents have paid a half million dollars to get me into this college?
• I hope we win the championship again,  I have a hankering for some presidential fast food.
• What if ask someone to pull a different finger? Maybe that’ll fool them.
• Squirrel!

Best of BS . . .

• Hillbilly Hoedown
• Nuns and Priests
• Carrie
• Mom’s Basement
• Cafeteria: A Celebration!
• 16 and Pregnant
• The Ten Plagues of Egypt
• Mullets and Bullets
• The Best Years of Your Life are Now Over
• Amish
• Walk of Shame
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.

You have a magic button on your table. What happens when you press it?

Question:  One in eight college freshmen have never done THIS.  What is it?
Answer:  Ironed their clothes

Be stubborn about your goals, but flexible about your methods.


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