April 28 2023

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Friday, April 28, 2023 — Edition: #7463

Can You Believe This Sheet?


★ Jerry Springer, one of the most influential and controversial figures in TV history, has died at 79. The “Jerry Springer Show” host passed away peacefully at his Chicago home yesterday. Springer, who also served Mayor of Cincinnati from 1977-78, had been diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. Jene Galvin, a lifelong friend and spokesman for the family, said: “Jerry’s ability to connect with people was at the heart of his success in everything he tried, whether that was politics, broadcasting or just joking with people on the street.” He hosted the raucous syndicated talk show bearing his name for 27 years, which was known for its outrageous guests who often got into fights as the audience cheered, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!”
-TMZ, PageSix
★ Jada Pinkett-Smith’s “Red Table Talk” has been cancelled as a result of  Meta’s unplugging of Facebook Watch’s original programming. The daytime Emmy award-winning show, which Pinkett-Smith co-hosted with her daughter Willow and mother Adrienne Banfield-Norris, tackled conversations about social issues with an inter-generational perspective, which led to Pinkett-Smith exposing the dark side of her marriage to Will Smith. In 2020, the couple revealed to their 11 million Facebook followers that the “Girls Trip” actor had an “entanglement” outside her marriage, leading to a brief separation from her husband. The Facebook series started in 2018 and ran for 5 seasons.
★ Amber Heard’s ‘Mera’ will be back in the new “Aquaman” movie. On Tuesday, Warner Bros. previewed “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” at CinemaCon, and the footage confirmed Heard’s return to the series. Amid her legal battle with Johnny Depp last year, some had speculated the actress would be cut from the franchise. Heard testified that she had “fought really hard to stay in,” claiming, “they” didn’t want to include her in the movie, and her role had been “pared down”. Despite that, Heard appeared in the footage, alongside star Jason Momoa. “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” is scheduled for release Dec. 20.
★ Back to the pods! Nick and Vanessa Lachey will remain the hosts of “Love Is Blind” despite the backlash from viewers following the live Season 4 reunion that culminated in a petition for their removal. “Entertainment Tonight” reports that there is no truth to rumors that the Lacheys will be replaced by Season 1’s success story, married couple Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton. The reunion episode was surrounded by controversy, including technological issues, and Vanessa’s extensive line of questioning surrounding when the couples planned to have children.
★ “Suicide Squad” star Cara Delevingne has scored a role in the upcoming “American Horror Story” Season 12. Creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk previously cast Kim Kardashian and AHS regular Emma Roberts in starring roles. This will be the first season of the show based on a novel, as Danielle Valentine’s thriller “Delicate Condition” will provide the foundation for the story. The novel follows a woman who is convinced that a sinister creature is trying to stop her from becoming pregnant. It’s unclear who Delevingne will play in the series.
★ Gisele Bündchen’s new chapter of life has her going all-in on philanthropy work – and she has given back in a big way to help battle the growing childhood homeless crisis in Florida. The supermodel has announced she is gifting a whopping $1 million to the Miami chapter of Lotus House, the nation’s largest women’s shelter, which recently broke ground on a new facility called The Children’s Village. Her donation will go toward a new playground as well as additional programming within the village.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jake Gyllenhaal, Whitney Cummings, boygenius (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Pete Davidson, Questlove, S.A. Cosby, Peso Pluma
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Nicolas Cage, Christine and the Queens (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Matt Damon, Kristin Chenoweth, Brann Dailor (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Judy Blume, Kelly Fremon Craig
• “The Talk” (CBS): Derek Hough, Asher Grodman, Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Hammock Koch, Jeremy Hansen
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Yara Shahidi, Emilio Estevez
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Oliver Stark, Bebe Rexha
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Martha Stewart, Phil Rosenthal, Josh Wolf (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Nicole Byer, Folake Olowofoyeku
• “90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way” (TLC): Kris and Jeymi blame each other for their problems; Gabe’s sister pushes for a prenup; Jen and her friends hatch a risky plan.
• “2023 NFL Draft” (ABC): A panel breaks down Rounds 2 and 3 of the 2023 NFL draft.
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Boston @ Florida; Carolina @ NY Rangers; Dallas @ Minnesota; Colorado @ Seattle

• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Pedro Pascal, with musical guest Coldplay (R)
• “Road Trip Hostage” (LIFETIME): A deranged criminal forces a young woman to drive him across the country.
• “CMT Presents The Judds: Love Is Alive — The Final Concert” (CMT): After 31 years, Wynonna takes the stage again with special guests Martina McBride, Little Big Town, Brandi Carlile, Kelsea Ballerini and Ashley McBryde.
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Vegas @ Winnipeg (if necessary), Edmonton @ LA; Toronto @ Tampa Bay (if necessary); New Jersey at NY Rangers

• “TIME100: The World’s Most Influential People” (ABC): Jennifer Coolidge hosts, featuring performances by Doja Cat and Lea Michele, plus tributes from members of this year’s list.
• “American Idol” (ABC): Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Night
• “WWE’s Most Wanted Treasures” (A&E): Premiere. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Florida @ Boston; NY Rangers @ Carolina; Minnesota @ Dallas (all if necessary); Seattle @ Colorado

• Taylor Swift—may become the first artist to have an exclusive Record Store Day release enter the Billboard top 10 album chart when results are reported this weekend. Nearly all 75,000 US copies of her RSD-exclusive double-LP “Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions,” are believed to have sold within a day of going on sale last Saturday.
• Miley Cyrus – Fans have been wondering if she has an alter-ego ever since a mysterious album from an unknown artist named Clara Pierce was yanked from Spotify, following speculation that Cyrus recorded a secret album under an assumed name. Pierce dropped “Down With Me” on the same day Cyrus dropped “Endless Summer Vacation”, and her vocals sound strikingly similar to Cyrus’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4hsp2bsf
• Queen – Freddie Mercury’s close friend Mary Austin plans to auction a collection of 1,500 items that once belonged to him, including handwritten lyrics and stage costumes. Mercury built up the collection over 30 years and kept everything at his home in London. All 1,500 items will go on display at Sotheby’s in London this summer.
• Aerosmith — A display featuring the band’s logo with the words “Peace Out” has been appearing at US venues, and a countdown clock has appeared on the band’s website, leading some to speculate that the band is about to announce a farewell tour. Earlier this month, Joe Perry confirmed the band will hit the road later this year. All will be revealed Monday morning. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2amhzf9s
• Alice Cooper – says his new album will probably be titled “Road”, because it utilizes his “road” band, and “most of the songs are about the road”. He also has deluxe editions of the classic albums “Killer” and “School’s Out” dropping June 9.
• Morgan Wallen – His record company boss is denying a claim that he was “too drunk” to perform his canceled concert in Oxford MS. A TikTok user shared video of a security guard telling attendees that Wallen “couldn’t walk” and had to be removed by ambulance. Fans launched a class-action lawsuit against the singer, but it has been withdrawn.
• Luke Bryan – has announced his 14th “Farm Tour”. He’ll take a break from his upcoming 36-city “Country on Tour” to play gigs from newly-erected stages in fields at local farms September 14-23. LINK: https://www.instagram.com/p/CrgO132tL4t/
• Jimmie Allen – has a surprising pre-cpncert “pump-up” song. He told Kelly Clarkson on her show that he likes to warm up by singing the song ‘Popular’ from the “Wicked” musical. Quote: “Yeah, that’s my jam. “I play it. I’m putting my jewelry on. Got my skinny jeans on. And I look in the mirror…” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yzahknft


• “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama): Based on the Judy Blume novel, 11-year-old Margaret is uprooted from her life in New York for the suburbs of New Jersey, and must go through the tumultuous throes of puberty with new friends in a new school. She relies on her mother, who is also struggling to adjust to life outside the big city. (Abby Ryder Fortson, Rachel McAdams, Kathy Bates) Tomatometer: 98%, Audience Score: 100%
• “Big George Foreman” (PG-13, Biography) Fueled by an impoverished childhood, Foreman channels his anger into becoming an Olympic Gold medalist and World Heavyweight Champion, and eventually to the pulpit, and back into the ring. (Khris Davis, Jasmine Mathews, Forest Whitaker)

Dating trends seem to be getting more and more savage, if the names being given them are any indication. We’ve seen ‘cloaking’, ‘breadcrumbing’, ‘orbiting’, ‘gaslighting’, and even ghosting’…and now, TikTok’er Mariel Darling has taken to the app to share the latest horrifying dating trend: being “zombied.” What does being “zombied” mean? She shared with her 250,000 followers: “It’s like ghosting, but he comes back from the dead after a couple months and hits you up.” Her video has over 1.5 million views, and in a follow-up, she said that as far as she’s concerned, dating in New York City is very much like a zombie apocalypse “mixed with the ‘Thriller’ music video, because all these boys are tap dancing around commitment.” And people seem to agree with her. One commenter wrote: “Have you ever noticed that they all zombie you at the same time? Like why are 4 guys from my past all hitting me up on the same day???” Another: “Mine has a Jesus Christ complex, he comes back every 3 days.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3czwya6m
(I was zombie once. No, wait. Let me be more clear. I dated someone who was brain-dead once!)
(At least she’s not saying they all LOOK like zombies…!)

These are the actors and actresses who actually put “butts in the seats”, according to a poll by Puck News, who asked “Who do you most want to watch in a theater?” Here are the actors and actresses that people said they’ll show up to see, in order, from #1 to #10 . . .
• Tom Cruise, Dwayne Johnson, Tom Hanks, Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, Julia Roberts, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Kevin Hart
And here are the top “under-40” actors and actresses people said they are most likely to make an effort to see in a cinema, also in order . . .
• Chris Hemsworth, Jennifer Lawrence, Tom Holland, Michael B. Jordan, Zendaya, Scarlett Johansson, Jenna Ortega, Margot Robbie, Henry Cavill, Emma Watson, Gal Gadot, Timothee Chalamet

➢ A German court said that a landlord sunbathing naked in the courtyard of his building wasn’t a reason for his tenants to reduce their rental payments. The case involved a building in an upmarket district of Frankfurt, which included an office floor, rented by a human resources company. The company withheld rent because it objected to the landlord’s naked sunbathing. In response, the landlord sued. The court rejected the company’s reasoning, finding that “the usability of the rented property was not impaired by the plaintiff sunning himself naked in the courtyard.” In a statement, it said that it couldn’t see an “inadmissible, deliberately improper effect on the property.” (Obviously, the court couldn’t see what the tenants could!)
➢ A drunk student has been busted for allegedly peeing on a business-class passenger during a 15-hour flight from New York to India. 21-year-old Aryan Vohra was arrested in Delhi late Saturday as he stepped off a flight, after the pilot had radioed ahead to warn of a “disruptive customer” who “was heavily intoxicated”. Officials said: “He was repeatedly arguing with the operating crew, was not willing to be seated and continuously endangering the safety of crew and aircraft. After disturbing the safety of fellow passengers, [he] finally urinated on a passenger.” Vohra told cops that he’d tried to go to the bathroom, but the door was locked. (Just be thankful that he didn’t take the phrase “business class” literally!)
-AP, NYPost

Even worms get the munchies from marijuana. Cannabis has a reputation for causing users to crave tasty, high-calorie foods. And now, researchers at the University of Oregon have determined that worms experience cravings, or “munchies,” when they encounter the same chemical compounds in marijuana. The report, published in the journal Current Biology, says, in part, “Upon cannabinoid exposure, (the worm) becomes more sensitive to favored food odors and less sensitive to non-favored food odors. This helps explain changes in the worm’s consumption of food, and it is reminiscent of how THC makes tasty food even tastier in humans.” (I’ve also seen a few of them “wake and baked’ on the sidewalk!)


• “Blueberry Pie Day”, ushering in blueberry pie-making season, which lasts until September. The first documented recipe for blueberry pie appeared in the Appledore Cook Book in 1872. Blueberries are abundant in Maine, so it’s no surprise that blueberry pie is the state’s official dessert.
• “Poetry Reading Day”, a day to ‘read some great poetry, the world better to see.’ (“There once was a girl from St John’s …”)
• “Pay it Forward Day”, Each year, people in over 80 countries participate by performing over 10 million acts of kindness. When small acts of kindness and giving are performed by millions of people, there is a potential for the world to be changed for the better.
• “National Superhero Day”, a day to honor superheroes, both real and fictional. Batman, Superman, Spider-Man and Wonder Woman are fictional, but still are great role models for children Deadpool? Not so much… (Which team are you? Marvel or DC? Or no preference, ’cause you’re not a nerd?)
• “National Cubicle Day”, the cubicle was introduced in 1968 as an alternative to working in open areas, often called bullpens. It had flexible configurations with partitions to pin up current projects and provide privacy – sort of. (Or as cubicles have come to be known to some – ‘Hell with fluorescent lighting…’)
• “Clean Comedy Day”, celebrating this family-friendly form of comedy by challenging us to keep our humor clean for a day, and enjoy it all the same. (Are they trying to ruin my reputation?)

• “Viral Video Day”, excluding music, “Masha and the Bear – Recipe for Disaster” holds the title of most-watched viral video, with 4.5 billion views. (***Ask listeners to post their favorites***)
• “Zipper Day”, It was in 1851 that Elias Howe, the inventor of the sewing machine, received a patent for an “Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure.” He never made an attempt to market his invention and missed the recognition he may have received. (You might say he preferred to “fly” under the radar…)
• “World Wish Day”, marking the day Chris Greicius was granted his wish to be a police officer, inspiring the creation of Make-A-Wish and its global wish-granting mission. Since Chris’ wish in 1980, more than 520,000 children around the world have had theirs granted by Make-A-Wish.
• “Shrimp Scampi Day”, celebrating the tasty dish that mixes sautéed shrimp with garlic, shallots, parsley and oregano; drenches it all with wine & brandy, then lights ’er up. Bring it on!
• “International Dance Day”, introduced in 1982 by UNESCO to increase awareness of the importance of dance. (I tried to think of a joke about high-school dances, but I kept getting stuck at the ‘punch line’…)
• “We Jump the World Day”, dedicated to the art of Parkour, also known as “free running”. Enthusiasts credit it with giving them a fresh attitude toward obstacles in their lives. (Doing parkour is just like talking to women — I can’t do parkour…)

• “Adopt a Shelter Pet Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of strays. On a sadder note, the SPCA observes a moment of silence for the thousands of dogs and cats euthanized each year because they are unable to find homes.
• “International Jazz Day”, initiated in 2012 by UNESCO to celebrate the music form and its influence in promoting peace and intercultural dialogue. The 2023 All-Star Global Concert today will feature dozens of internationally acclaimed artists from jazz and world music, with Herbie Hancock serving as host and artistic director. It’ll be streamed at: https://jazzday.com/
• “Honesty Day”, created by author M. Hirsh Goldberg in the early 1990s after spending 4 years researching & writing “The Book of Lies”. Goldberg thought that April, which begins with a big day of lying (April Fool’s Day), should end on a higher moral note. (***See “BS Signs You’re too Honest”, below***)
• “Spank Out Day”, initiated in 1998 to give attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching appropriate behavior to kids.
• “Bugs Bunny Day”, Bugs made his debut in a cartoon called “Porky’s Hare Hunt” on this date in 1938. Perhaps the reason people don’t recognize Bugs from that early cartoon is that he was credited as “Happy Rabbit.” (***Bugs soundbites: https://tinyurl.com/yckjj27f  ***)
• “Oatmeal Cookie Day”, They’ve been around since the 1800s. By the early 1900s, a recipe for the delicious treats appeared on containers of Quaker Oats. Oatmeal cookies are considered health food because they’re an excellent source of iron and fiber. Just another reason to have one today!

1941 [82] Ann Margret (Olsson), Valsjobyn Sweden, movie actress (“Viva Las Vegas”, “Grumpy Old Men”)

1950 [73] Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, comedian/TV host (“Tonight Show” 1992-2009, 2010-14). “Jay Leno’s Garage” 2014-23)

1971 [52] Bridget Moynahan, Binghampton NY, TV actress (‘Erin Reagan-Boyle’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010)/movie actress (“John Wick”)/NFL QB Tom Brady’s baby mama, 2007

1973 [50] Jorge Garcia, Omaha NE, TV actor (“Lost” 2004-10, “Hawaii Five-0″ 2013-19)

1974 [49] Penélope Cruz (Sanchez), Madrid Spain, movie actress (“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides ″, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)/married to Javier Bardem since 2010. COMING UP… “Ferrari”, 2023

1978 [45] Drew Scott, Vancouver BC, TV host (“Property Brothers”, “Buying and Selling”)

1978 [45] Jonathan Scott, Vancouver BC, TV host (“Property Brothers”, “Buying and Selling”)

1981 [42] Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, movie actress (“Sin City”, “Fantastic Four”)/entrepreneur (co-owner of “The Honest Company”)

SATURDAY: Willie Nelson (‘On the Road Again’) is 90; Tommy James (‘Crimson and Clover’) is 76; Jerry Seinfield (“Seinfeld”) is 69; Kate Mulgrew (“Orange Is the New Black’) is 68; Daniel Day-Lewis (“There Will Be Blood”) is 66; Michelle Pfeiffer (“Batman Returns”) is 65; Retired tennis player Andre Agassi is 53; Uma Thurman (“Kill Bill”) is 53; Megan Boone (“The Blacklist”) is 40

SUNDAY: Former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is 64; Chris Henderson (3 Doors Down) is 52; Johnny Galecki (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 48; Kunal Nayyar (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 42; Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) is 41; Gal Gadot (“Wonder Woman”) is 38; Dianna Agron (“Glee”) is 37; Travis Scott (‘Highest in the Room’) is 32

2012 [11] ‘Scotty’ is ‘beamed up’ as ashes of late actor James Doohan, who played engineer ‘Montgomery Scott’ on “Star Trek”, are launched into space aboard a SpaceX rocket

2019 [04] The “Game of Thrones” episode ‘The Long Night’ debuts, with the longest battle ever screened (nearly 80 mins), surpassing “Lord of the Rings” ‘Battle of Helm’s Deep’ (44 mins)

2003 [20] Apple launches the iTunes store, the first widely successful legal music download app, thanks to the emergence of the iPod. At first, the service is available only to Mac users

2017 [06] Brad Paisley releases the first visual album in country music: a special edition of “Love and War” with videos for each of the 16 songs

2001 [22] US millionaire Dennis Tito becomes the ‘First Space Tourist’, paying $12 million-plus to spend 8 days aboard a Russian Soyuz mission carrying supplies to International Space Station

2019 [04] Disney reports that the Marvel film “Avengers: Endgame” made an estimated $1.2 billion worldwide, the first movie to make more than $1 billion on opening (5 days)


✓ The first jukeboxes came with earphones – only one person could listen at a time.
✓ There are 550 hairs in the average eyebrow.
✓ Melting an ice cube in your mouth burns about 2.3 calories.
✓ Women are attracted to the scent of Good & Plenty licorice candy and cucumber.
✓ Scientists believe that octopuses are as smart as dogs.
✓ Pilgrims refused to eat lobsters because they thought they were huge insects.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, BestLife

Best of BS . . .
(In honor of “Honesty Day” [on Sunday], we present….)
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince, you proudly announce, “It was me!”
• When someone asks why you’re selling an item at your garage sale you say: “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore, but rather than toss it out I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When you call your ex at 3 am, you start the conversation by saying: “I’m hammered and I’m desperate.”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks, “Heavy traffic?” you say, “No. I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight, you end up sleeping on the couch.
-First published in BS 2002

➠ Aaron Rodgers is now the starting quarterback for the New York Jets. (He’ll soon discover that playing for the Jets is a lot like entering that darkness retreat — except he won’t be able to get out!)
➠ Scientists have discovered a way to completely turn off the brain and all neural activity by using light pulses. (They call the device: “The iPhone”…)
➠ Kim Kardashian says she would never use ‘Privilege’ to get her kids into college. (Whoa! Pump those brakes! A Kardashian going to college??!!)
➠ Bed Bath & Beyond has filed for bankruptcy. (Digging out of this mess will be hard for BB&B — but not as hard as finding 2 South African wicker lampshades that don’t clash with a Spanish rug…)
➠ A study shows that men most desire sex at 7:54am. (The time that came in second? Every other minute of the day…!)

That kid had BETTER run (sound up):  https://tinyurl.com/2p8jj2cz

Based on my reaction to toast popping, I’d like to suggest that you never throw me a surprise party.

When was the most inappropriate time you busted out in laughter?

Question:  On average, we eat 36% more calories than on a normal day, when we visit THIS place. What is it?
Answer:  A movie theater

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.


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