April 2 2020

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Thursday, April 2, 2020 Edition: #6668

Deja Moo!


★ It might be the biggest diversion from the pandemic: binge-watching the luridly fascinating “Tiger King,” the Netflix documentary about rival big cat wranglers. Now a Florida sheriff is asking the public for tips regarding one of the lingering mysteries raised in the show: What happened to Jack “Don” Lewis, the husband of Big Cat Rescue’s Carole Baskin? Lewis went missing in 1997, and speculation about his fate is running rampant among viewers. Now, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office reports it is receiving around six tips a day from people who believe they know what what happened to him. Despite the barrage of leads, Sheriff Brad Chronister says that none have been deemed substantial, but he hopes that people will continue to offer their help.
★ Ryan Reynolds made several children’s days when he called in for a virtual Q&A on Monday. The “Deadpool” star dialed in to the Toronto Hospital for Sick Kids’ daily video call-in show, which is broadcast to all patient rooms. In a wide-ranging conversation, Reynolds talked about the food he’d want with him if he was stuck on a desert island (thin-crust pizza), chatted about his ugly Christmas sweater, named his favorite movie featuring him (“Detective: Pikachu … partly because my kids love it”), and showed off his Deadpool mask.
★ The series finale of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” is being filmed on iPhones. Kim Kardashian West has revealed the current coronavirus crisis has caused the famous family to shut down production of their reality TV show and, although they’ve already filmed most of the 18th season, they’ve had to record the last episode separately on their phones because they’re social distancing.
(Except we’re pretty sure she says it like this: “Social distan-SEEN???”)
★ Vanessa Bryant is honoring her husband, the late Kobe Bryant, with the release of a new book in his children’s basketball collection called “The Wizenard Series”. The ‘Wizenard Series: Season One,” was created by Kobe Bryant and is written by Wesley King. It follows a struggling basketball team called the West Bottom Wizards, who live in a poor neighborhood called ‘Dren’. It focuses on the life of a little boy named Reggie, who dreams of becoming a basketball star. The story follows his process through learning the sport. This new book is a follow-up to Kobe’s New York Times Bestselling children’s book “The Wizenard Series: Training Camp.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jennifer Aniston, Grouplove
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Hot Country Knights
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cedric the Entertainer, Dave Bautista, Princess Nokia (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Sean Hayes
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kyle Richards, Ramona Singer, Melissa Gorga, Joe Gorga
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jaime Camil, Pauley Perrette
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kim Raver
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Melissa McCarthy (R)
• “How to Get Away With Murder” (ABC): Season 6 returns
• “Man With a Plan” (CBS): Season 4 premiere
• “Broke” (CBS): Series premiere. Jackie’s sister and outrageously wealthy brother-in-law move in after the couple’s money dries up.
• “The Real Housewives of New York City” (BRAVO): Season 12 premiere

• Rihanna and Jay-Z – Their foundations have together donated $2 million to COVID-19 relief efforts in New York City and Los Angeles. Rihanna’s Clara Lionel Foundation and Jay-Z’s Shawn Carter Foundation will support undocumented workers, the incarcerated, homeless and elderly populations, and children of frontline healthcare workers in both cities.
• Drake – releases his new track ‘Toosie Slide’ today. The song has become a viral dance challenge on the video sharing platform TikTok. The new tune was tentatively titled ‘Slide’ when it featured on influencer Toosie’s page on the app.
• Boston Calling — The 2020 festival has been canceled due to ongoing health and safety concerns related to the coronavirus pandemic. It was scheduled to take place May 22-24, with a reunited Rage Against the Machine set to headline alongside Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers. The lineup also featured the 1975, Brittany Howard, Liam Gallagher, Jason Isbell and more.
• ***UPDATE***Fountains of Wayne — co-frontman Adam Schlesinger was reported dead while undergoing treatment for COVID-19 on Wed. night. Schlesinger also worked in television, film and theater, winning three Emmys along the way.
• Rick Astley — is putting on a free concert for England’s National Health Service staff, Primary Care workers and Emergency Services. He’ll take the stage on October 28 at Manchester Arena as “a thank you to all those fantastic frontline staff.”
• Queen + Adam Lambert – Their 2020 European summer tour has been rescheduled amid the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. It was slated to start in Italy on May 24th. The new dates begin May 23, 2021.
• Ozzy Osbourne — has canceled his trip to Switzerland for Parkinson’s treatment, due to the coronavirus pandemic. He revealed in February that he was battling Parkinson’s disease and planned to see an immune systems specialist there.
• Jason Aldean – His wife Brittany recently shared a video asking her followers for suggestions on how she could help those in need. A woman named Patty responded, saying that she and her co-workers at a Hamburg, NY pharmacy were “working their tails off” and she requested “a nice meal, because we don’t really get to sit down and eat anything.” The Aldeans sent Patty and her co-workers lunch from Panera.
• Jon Pardi — The ongoing spread of the coronavirus has caused him to postpone his May wedding to Summer Duncan. On Duncan’s Instagram page, she wrote: “We would be selfish to keep our wedding date and put our guests at risk. To all the other brides out there (and wedding vendors) it’s gonna be one hell of a busy fall!! Haha.”

If you’re getting bored with all this ‘physical distancing’ business and would like to do something constructive with your downtime, here’s a great idea: You could use your home computer to contribute to research on the coronavirus pandemic. Here are two ways to do that:
• Foldit: It’s an online game that challenges players to “fold” proteins to better understand their structure and function. The Foldit team is challenging citizen scientists to design antiviral proteins that can bind with the coronavirus. The highest scoring designs will be manufactured and tested in real life. Who knows? You could be partially responsible for coming up with a vaccine for the virus.
• Folding@home:  You don’t have to be an amateur scientist for this one. This is a distributed computing project that, rather than using you to find proteins, uses your computer’s processing power to run calculations in the background. Your computer becomes one of thousands running calculations, all working together in hopes of finding a solution to COVID-19.
(Go ahead, use your work laptop. IT will love it!)
(It’s not like your computer isn’t used to working 24 hours a day – lately!)
(Add your own ‘computer virus’ joke here!)
LINKS: https://fold.it/   https://tinyurl.com/r2gle3b

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to be washing our cash these days, but some people are definitely doing it. And if there ever was a time that Canadians are grateful that their bills are made out of plastic, this is it. The Bank of Canada first introduced polymer banknotes in 2011, and now, videos and pics of Canadian cash getting a scrubdown in hopes of avoiding the spread of the COVID-19 virus have been popping up on social media feeds. One video posted to Facebook shows a sink full of soapy $20 bills accompanied by the caption “Good thing about being Canadian we can wash our money.” The video has since gone viral, garnering more than 48,000 shares, 4,500 comments and 5,700 likes. “Time” says that money can carry more germs than a household toilet.
(Please tell me they are scrubbing the sink afterward…)
(I’m not sure if that could be called “money-laundering” or not…)
(And then what? You can’t go anywhere to spend it!)
-FreshDaily, HuffingtonPost

⇒ Handshakes will be out:  Shaking hands, high fives, hugs, and kisses could all become frowned upon even after the pandemic is declared over. Social greetings may entail a hand on the heart, a head nod, or other actions which do not involve direct touch or contact. (And “Yay!” said the sweaty palms guy!)
⇒ Hand sanitizer will be more readily available in public places:  It will be more common in offices, public spaces, and entertainment events. While many venues, stores, and gyms already provide hand-sanitizer dispensers, we’re likely to see this expand to more restaurants, churches, and other establishments. (I’m hoping they’ll also provide moisturizer…)
⇒ More companies will permit employees to work remotely:  Now that businesses and employees are seeing that working from home is not only doable, but that it might even be more productive, it could cause a big shift in office cultures. (Which is great, because I can take the money I used to spend on deodorant, and spend it on hand sanitizer!)
⇒ Schools and universities will be more prepared for distance learning:  Many school districts and universities/colleges have moved to online courses during the pandemic, and this could prompt more schools to invest in the resources needed to move classroom learning online. (So, you’re saying that my teens could be home all the time EVEN WHEN THIS IS OVER???)
⇒ We’ll get better at washing our hands:  I’m sure you know by now that you should vigorously wash your hands as often as possible for 20 seconds, or use a hand sanitizer with an alcohol content of at least 60 percent. Ideally, once the outbreak has been contained, we’ll keep up these good habits.
⇒ We may stop getting into crowded spaces:  There’s a good chance that when the pandemic is over, people will reconsider smooshing themselves into a crowded elevator or subway car—and even think twice before attending large public events. (All those musicians who’ve delayed their tours did NOT want to hear that!)
⇒ It may be the end of communal foods:  Those bowls of pretzels and nuts at bars are nice, but how sanitary are they? The coronavirus outbreak will cause more people to rethink eating out of communal food containers. Buffets and salad bars might get the cold shoulder as well. (Yeah, what health department decided that it was a good idea for bars to be able to do that?)

A global shortage of condoms is looming because the world’s biggest producer has been forced to shut down due to coronavirus. Malaysia’s ‘Karex Bhd’ makes one in every five condoms globally. It has not produced a single condom from its three Malaysian factories in the past 2 weeks due to a government-imposed lockdown. While it may be tempting to make jokes about an impending baby boom of “Coronials” or “Quaranteens”, the shortage could seriously affect humanitarian programs in Africa, where condoms are desperately needed to prevent disease and overpopulation.


1945 [75] Linda Hunt, Morristown NJ, TV actress (‘Hetty Lange’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actress (Oscar-“The Year of Living Dangerously”)

1947 [73] Emmylou Harris, Birmingham AL, folk-country singer (‘Blue Kentucky Girl’, w/Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt – ‘To Know Him Is to Love Him’)/12-time Grammy winner

1961 [59] Christopher Meloni, Washington DC, TV actor (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” 1999-2011)

1976 [44] Adam F. Goldberg, Philadelphia PA, TV producer/showrunner/show creator (“The Goldbergs” since 2013, “Breaking In”)

1977 [43] Michael Fassbender, Heidelberg Germany, movie actor (“12 Years a Slave”, The Snowman”, “Steve Jobs”)

1979 [41] Jesse Carmichael, Boulder CO, pop keyboardist (Maroon 5-‘Sugar’, ‘Moves Like Jagger’)

1988 [32] Jesse Plemons, Dallas TX, movie actor (“The Irishman”, “Date Night”)/TV actor(“Friday Night Lights” 2006-2011)

• “Ferret Day”, celebrating those cute & cuddly little pets that are the domesticated form of the European polecat, a mammal belonging to the weasel genus. (Don’t you just love it when they crawl up your pant leg?)

• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “The Little Mermaid”.
– “The Little Sissy Who Snitched”
– “Whining, Kicking & Crying to Get Your Way”
– “Places Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things”
– “The Mouse, the Motorcycle, And the Organ Donor Card”
– “How to Write Your Name in the Snow”

• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!

• “Love Your Produce Manager Day”, a day to appreciate the person who orders and stocks fresh fruits and vegetables at groceries and supermarkets. So, go ahead … squeeze his melons.

• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear Boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion …”)

• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development. In 2020, approximately 1 in 54 children is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder. (ASD)

[Fri] American Circus Day
[Fri] Pony Express Day
[Sat] Tell a Lie Day
[Sat] World Rat Day

2011 [09] After being fired from “Two-and-a-Half Men”, Charlie Sheen is booed on the first stop of his “Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour” in Detroit MI, with many in the audience demanding their money back (he enjoyed a somewhat warmer reception the following night in Chicago IL)

2006 [14] Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’ becomes the first-ever single to top charts based solely on download sales

1978 [42] ‘Velcro’ is first made widely available (inspired by the little hooks on burrs that attach to clothing)

1980 [40] Toshiaki Shirai & Yukiki Nagata of Tokyo, Japan set the world record for ‘Underwater Kissing’ (2 minutes, 18 seconds – the record now stands at 3:24)


✓ The first bathroom stall is usually the cleanest because most people, seeking privacy, skip it.
✓ The first novel ever written on a typewriter was “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”.
✓ The average caterpillar has 2,000 muscles in its body. The average human: fewer than 700.
✓ In the first year of their life, puppies grow 10 times faster than human infants do.
✓ According to Guinness, the heaviest dog on record was an English Mastiff named Zorba who weighed 343 pounds (155.5kg).
✓ Only about one-third of “Gilligan’s Island” episodes were about trying to get off the island.

• Toilet paper rolls are nothing more than paper towel rolls that are yet to reach full maturity.
• You can return your empty roll to the store to have it refilled.
• Toilet paper loves its job.
• Charmin is coming out with a “just for her” version called “Charwomin”
• The government stimulus package includes three rolls per family.
• If you look desperate enough, the grocery stockboy will get you a pack from the back of the store.
• TP’ing someone’s house is now a federal crime.
• If you have a 30-pack, 24-pack, 12-pack, a 6-pack & a 4-pack, it’s called a “Royal Flush”.
• A package of 6 or more rolls is referred to as a “crapload”.
• You don’t need it.

➠ My children just heard that the 33rd Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards was postponed due to the Coronavirus pandemic. (I told them that if they need their fix of slime, just watch “Tiger King”!)
➠ A Washington State man who was teaching his pit bull how to drive was arrested after a high-speed chase. (You know, it IS hard to teach a dog to drive because he has his head out the window all the time!)
➠ Three people have won more than a million dollars in Oregon’s MegaMillions lottery within the past month. (They are now the three richest people on the west coast not named Kardashian who got rich for doing nothing!)
➠ A man recently abandoned his pet dog because he thought it could give him coronavirus. But the World Health Organization says that dogs cannot get or transmit COVID-19, so there is no need to quarantine. (In other words, “WHO: let the dogs out.”)
➠ An Alabama couple was taken to jail last week after authorities say they were caught having sex – in the police department parking lot. (Fortunately for cops, they already had handcuffs on…)

Still best to maintain physical distancing:  https://tinyurl.com/rfv987t

What funny thing did a random stranger say that made you die laughing?

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else.

Question:  1 in 5 married couples say their first fight was about THIS. What is it?
Answer:  How to do laundry

If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.


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