April 4 2019

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Thursday, April 4, 2019 – Edition: #6429

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

★ Jennifer Lopez is being sued by a man who claims he came up with the idea for “World of Dance” 10 years ago. Alvin Gray-El filed a federal lawsuit this week against J.Lo, NBC and famed choreographer Debbie Allen (even though she has nothing to do with the show). He claims he came up with the idea for a show called “Let’s Start the Dance” in 2009. He claims to have faxed a letter to Debbie Allen and her production company in an effort to see if she was interested in producing the show. He is asking for $5 million in actual damages and $1.5 million in punitive damages.
★ Netflix unveiled a new trailer for the Ted Bundy biopic “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile” on Tuesday.  They also announced a release date of May 3 for the movie, which stars Zac Efron. The film will be available on the streamer and in select theaters. “Extremely Wicked” is a chronicle of the crimes of Bundy from the perspective of Liz, his longtime girlfriend, who refused to believe the truth about him for years. It’s based on the book “The Phantom Prince: My Life with Ted Bundy” by Elizabeth Kendall.
★ As beloved “Jeopardy” host Alex Trebek continues to struggle with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, NBC, the network that has been his home for 30 years, is apparently cooking up a plan to replace him. A source says: “Alex is 78 years old, and the show was already talking about a replacement host when he retired. Now with his health scare, that process has been accelerated.” Trebek has three years left in his contract, but the network is refusing to take any chances, especially with his declining health.
★ Joe Jonas had to sign a non-disclosure agreement before he could visit his fiancée Sophie Turner on the set of “Game of Thrones”. She plays Sansa Stark in the HBO fantasy drama, which is set to come to an end after the upcoming eighth and final season, and she says her husband-to-be had to sign a legal document preventing him from talking about the show’s highly anticipated ending when he visited her on set.
★ Bob Ross’ son Robert does not have any joy over painting at the moment, because he was just shut down in an attempt to gain the sole rights to his father’s name and likeness.  Bob Ross Inc was founded by Bob, his widow Lynda and two friends. The judge did not agree with Robert’s argument to gain control of the intellectual property, and believed that Bob Ross Inc is the true owner of the famed late-painters’ image.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Seth Rogen, Mike Tyson, Iggy Azalea
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kit Harington, Elle Fanning, Khalid
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sandra Oh, Zachary Levi, Nina Nesbitt
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sen. Kamala Harris, Henry Winkler, Conleth Hill, Aaron Comess
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, Reba McEntire, Jimmy Buffett
• “Conan” (TBS): Daniel Radcliffe (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Cher (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rep. Tim Ryan, Taraji P. Henson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dana Delany, Carly Pearce
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Michelle Williams, Elle Fanning, Jess Glynne
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Megan Mullally, Hasan Minhaj, Greyson Chance
• “In the Dark” (CW): Series premiere. A hard-living but “irreverent” blind woman thinks she stumbles across the scene of the murder of her drug-dealing friend. When the cops don’t believe her story, she sets out to track down the killer herself with the help of her guide dog, Pretzel.
• “Will & Grace” (NBC): Season 2 finale

• Carly Rae Jepsen — will release her fourth album, “Dedicated” on May 17. It will feature the singles ‘Now That I Found You’ and ‘No Drug Like Me’. Jepsen will kick off a US tour at the House of Blues in Anaheim, California, on June 27th.
• Dua Lipa – is reportedly set to shoot the video for her heavily rumored James Bond theme this summer. Apparently, filming will happen in Italy this August. This comes after claims that “Bond 25” – Daniel Craig’s last outing as the character – will be filming in Matera, southern Italy.
• Celine Dion – is the newest spokesperson for L’Oreal Paris Global. She’ll make her debut in an advertisement for Excellence Crème Hair Colour where she boasts the shade N*E*R*D Dark Blonde.
• Eagles — For the first time ever, they will perform their iconic album “Hotel California” in its entirety in their only North American performances of 2019.  Both shows, on September 27 and 28, at MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, will also include an additional set of the band’s greatest hits.
• KISS – Frontman Paul Stanley says he already knows what will be the final song the band plays during the very last show of their current farewell tour. Quote: “The last song has to be ‘Rock And Roll All Nite And Party Every Day’…that’s a song that just connects with people on all different levels.” (Think there’ll be any fireworks?)
• Tom Petty – His widow, Dana Petty, claims she can’t properly manage his estate because she believes the late rocker’s daughters are teaming up to push her out. In a court petition, Dana claims “she has gone above and beyond to seek to work cooperatively with Tom’s daughters” but they have made that difficult.
• Kellie Pickler – Her daytime talk show “Pickler & Ben”, which she hosted alongside Ben Aaron, has been canceled. Picker & Ben notched two daytime Emmy nominations just days before the cancellation was announced.
Jesse James Decker – has been announced as a presenter at this year’s ACM Awards on Sunday. Others who will hand out awards include Dennis Quaid, Danica Patrick, Wilmer Valderrama, and ACM nominees Midland, Carly Pearce, Lady Antebellum, Michael Ray and Cole Swindell. Lauren Alaina, Beth Behrs, Clint Black, Hunter Hayes, Jay Hernandez, and Nancy O’Dell will also present.

A few recent revelations from the wonderful word of joe:
• Just looking at a cup of coffee in the morning is enough to perk us up, a new study suggests. It actually sparks our brains into life without us even having to down a drop. The effect can even be sparked by just thinking of anything that reminds us of a latte, espresso or other coffee drink. It’s thought to spring from our ingrained belief that coffee gets us up and running. (In more ways than one…)
• If you drink your coffee with cream and sugar, you should add the sugar before you add the cream. Why? Sugar dissolves more easily in piping hot liquids, and cream lowers the overall temperature of your coffee or tea. As a result, you might end up with a mound of sugar at the bottom of your mug, depending on how much you use. In an experiment, a sugar cube added to a cup of creamy coffee took 26 more seconds of stirring to dissolve than a sugar cube in black coffee.
(And for the sake of all that is holy, don’t be one of those miscreants who add the cream and sugar before they pour the coffee!)
• A study found that in moderation, coffee and alcohol can actually decrease the chances of premature death. A study from the UC Irvine Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders followed more than 1,600 people in their 90s to determine which habits of theirs might contribute to their longevity. Alcohol and coffee both checked out as habits that the healthy nonagenarians shared. The study also found that people who were slightly overweight in their 70s thrived in their 90s.
(Move over I’m about to become immortal!)

It was last month that it was first announced that “Game of Thrones” Oreo cookies are coming. Now we have some details.  Beginning Monday, the sandwich cookies stamped with one of four new designs will be available in supermarkets and online via Amazon.  List price: $3.33.  And unlike some of the more questionable Oreo flavor combos to hit store shelves recently (looking at you, Pina Colada), the GoT fantasy-inspired Oreos stick to the tried and true chocolate and cream flavor. There are three designs representing key houses from the series — a lion for the Lannisters, a three-headed dragon for the Targaryens, and a direwolf for the Starks, plus a fourth design featuring the zombified Night King. Other recent GoT-branded releases include Adidas “Ultraboost” shoes, Urban Decay’s new collection of eyeshadow palettes, lipsticks, eyeliners and brushes, and a $2,700 piece of leather armor inspired by the show from the menswear designer Varvatos.
(Who needs Game of Thrones?  A bag of Oreos and a glass of milk is pretty much my fantasy all on their own!)
(I didn’t think they were going overboard until I saw the “Winter is coming” digital thermometer…)

The Game of Thrones intro re-enacted using 2,750 Oreo cookies:

This is aimed at those who make money as a “Social media marketer”, but something to keep in mind for us all…
✗“Hip” lingo:  When you try too hard to be cool, you can end up sounding like a dad who is, well, trying too hard to be cool.  Avoid using “AF”, “I can’t even”, “Lit/Turnt” and “Chill”. (and “totes”.  Totes.)
✗ Meaningless jargon:  Make sure your message is clear. The use of marketing jargon, buzzwords, or ambiguous terms on social media is all too common. Jargon to avoid: “Viral”, Synergy”, “Optimize”, “Bandwidth”, “Holistic” and “Millennial”.  (If it weren’t for meaningless jargon, I’d have nothing to say all morning!)
✗ Clickbait:  If you want your online authority to remain intact, avoid using hyperbole in your social media posts.  Clickbait terms can include “Top/best”, “Worst”, “Need”, and “Only”. (And “Click here!”)
✗Cringe-worthy job titles:  Avoid marketing job descriptions like these: “Social Media Ninja”, “Marketing Rock Star”, “Content Maven”, “Social Media Guru”, and “Growth Hacker”. (Actually, don’t use the phrase “rock star” at all. Ever. Thank you.)

The world record holder for most video games owned is showing them off in a Guinness YouTube video.  Antonio Monteiro set a Guinness World Record in February for his collection of 20,139 video games. He keeps all the games, which are stacked on the floor and on shelves up to the ceiling, in a single room. The collection took officials eight days to count.


1944 [75] Craig T. Nelson, Spokane WA, TV actor (“Parenthood” 2010-2015, “Coach” 1989-1997)/movie actor (‘The Incredibles”)

1963 [56] Graham Norton, County Cork Ireland, TV show host, (“The Graham Norton Show” since 2007)

1964 [55] David Cross, TV actor (‘Tobias Fünke’ on “Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013-present)

1965 [54] Robert Downey Jr, NYC, movie star (“Iron Man” films, “Sherlock Holmes”) COMING UP… “Avengers: End Game”, 2019

1970 [49] Barry Pepper, Campbell River BC, movie actor (“True Grit”, “Saving Private Ryan”)

1971 [48] Josh Todd, LA CA, rock singer (Buckcherry-‘Sorry’, ‘Lit Up’)

1973 [46] David Blaine (White), Brooklyn NY, illusionist who’s been suspended over the River Thames for 44 days, buried alive, frozen in a block of ice and caught a bullet in his mouth. (How does this guy get insurance?)

1979 [40] Natasha Lyonne, NYC, TV actress (“Orange Is the New Black” 2013-18, “Russian Doll” 2019)/movie actress (“American Pie” movies)

1991 [28] Jamie Lynn Spears, McComb, MS, country singer-songwriter/TV actress (“Zoey 101” 2005-08)/sister of singer Britney Spears

• “404 Day”, celebrating(?) the 404 error or, ‘not found’ message. This error occurs when your computer is not able to communicate with a server or server can’t find what was requested. Since the decimal form of April 4 coincides with 404, this day has become 404 Day.

• “Ballroom Dancing Day”, celebrated on the birth anniversary of Arthur Murray, the famous ballroom dancing instructor. It’s an activity that’s seen a recent resurgence with thanks to TV shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”.

•“Hug a Newsperson Day”, Caution: wait until he/she has had their morning coffee!

• “International Day for Landmine Awareness & Assistance”. (Unfortunately, participation in this can cost you an arm and a leg.)

• “Carrot Day”, the day when the carrot is celebrated through carrot parties and other carrot related festivities. (Carrot festivities? The only carrot festivity I want to be a part of is a big hunk of carrot cake….hold the carrots!)
• “World Rat Day”, the 17th annual, recognizing the ‘dear, sweet animals which deserve greater recognition and admiration’, according to people who own them. It’s claimed their bad image only suffers from ignorance and unthinking prejudice. (Well that and the plague.)
NET: http://www.worldratday.com

• “Tell-A-Lie Day”, a good day to ask listeners to add to the list of ‘World’s Greatest Lies’ …
– “You get this one, I’ll buy the next round.”
– “Drinking? Why no, officer.”
– “Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.”
– “It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.”
– “I gave at the office.”
– “Don’t worry, my dog’s never bitten anyone.”
— “The check’s in the mail.”
– “Of course I love you.”
– “It was good for me, too.”
– “I’ll call you later.”

[Fri] Bell Bottoms Day
[Fri] National Caramel Day
[Sat] Army Day
[Sat] International Pillow Fight Day

2013 [06] Movie critic/TV personality/screenwriter Roger Ebert dies of cancer at age 70 in Chicago IL

2008 [11] Beyoncé Knowles marries Jay-Z at his New York apartment. Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and wife Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyoncé’s former Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, all attend the private ceremony. (Still together. Who’d a thunk it?)

2009 [10] Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Little Anthony & The Imperials, and Bobby Womack are inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

1982 [37] Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers finishes the NHL season with 212 points to become 1st and only player to break the 200-point barrier (he goes on to do it 3 more times)

2017 [02] A stunning 59.6 carat diamond known as the ‘Pink star’ sets the world record price of $71 million for a gem at an action in Hong Kong

2017 [02] Chinese internet and e-commerce conglomerate Alibaba becomes the world’s largest retailer, according to US Securities and Exchange Commission


✓ The name “Hotmail” was chosen because it contains, in order, the letters HTML.
✓ In 2011, North Korean researchers concluded that North Korea is the second happiest country in the world. The happiest was China.
✓ Data scientists analyzed 10,222 words to discover the “happiest” word in the English language. It’s “laughter.”
✓ The U.S. government gave Indiana University $1 million to study memes.
✓ Disney World is the second-largest purchaser of explosives in the United States, the first is the U.S. Department of Defense.
✓ The symbols used by cartoonists to indicate swearing are called “grawlixes”.

• It was the best of times, but from here on out it will be the worst of times. Cheers!
• If everyone could now raise…their red solo cups…
• Here’s to two of the finest people I’ve ever seen naked…
• I’d like to propose…to all of the bridesmaids!
• Here’s to the richest guy she could attract and the best-looking woman he could afford!
• Your undying love for each other proves the old adage to be true:  “One man’s trash is indeed another man’s treasure.”
• Congrats to the groom and his first wife.
• Here’s hoping that his life insurance will always be a guarantee of security, but never a motive.
• OK, Becky’s dad…you can put away the shotgun now…
• May the bride satisfy him better than the Maid of Honor did just before the ceremony…

Best of BS . . .
• “When you say ‘about average’, exactly how many other men are you comparing me to?”
• “Why is this chair wet?”
• “What’s inside this letter from the government?”
• “If that’s not chocolate, then what is it?”
• “What’s keeping that beltless vagrant’s pants up?”
• “Honey, why are you so sick each morning?”
• “No sir, I don’t have life insurance. Why do you ask?”
• “How contagious are you?”
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2015

• What is considered the most common medical condition?
a. heart disease
b. diabetes
c. dandruff
d. tooth decay [CORRECT]

• What is a Geiger Counter used to detect?
a. radiation [CORRECT]
b. earthquakes
c. Wi-Fi
d. kryptonite
– LaffGaff

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

What mistake have you made that you’ll never forget?

Question: 72% of online daters are turned off by THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Spelling mistakes

The bad news is that time flies.  The good news is that you’re the pilot.


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