April 30 2019

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Tuesday, April 30, 2019        Edition: #6441

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

★ Some more “Avengers: Endgame” fallout…As the highly-anticipated movie was released, fans all around the world could not contain their excitement.  And while the surprise ending made every Marvel fan emotional, it proved to be too much for a 21 year-old woman from China. According to reports, she began hyperventilating and could not stop crying during the film. She apparently was so excited that she was having difficulty breathing and her hands and feet became numb.  The woman was given an oxygen mask and taken to hospital.
★ Kim Kardashian is still finding ways to make baby showers unique, and SUPER zen by loading up her GFs on CBD. Kim admitted during her 4th child’s baby shower on Saturday that she was “freaking out” because she and Kanye West are expecting their newest baby’s arrival by surrogate within a couple weeks. So, as she put it, since she needed to chill out, “What better way to celebrate than to have a little CBD?” Guests got to concoct their own CBD-infused body oils and bath salts … before chilling out with a sound bath.
(“Bath…that’s a funny word…”)
★ She may look invincible, but even Halle Berry falls victim to an on-set injury every now and then. Berry has revealed she sustained several injuries while training for her last action-thriller “John Wick 3” — not that she cared. Berry said that “It’s like a badge of honor for me, we don’t know how it happened… I worked for a little while with broken ribs until I could no longer do it.” John Wick: Chapter 3 opens in theaters on May 17.
★ Following a 35th anniversary screening of the cult classic rockumentary “This is Spinal Tap” at the Tribeca Film Festival, Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer of the fictional British rock band took the stage at the Beacon Theatre in New York on Saturday to play some of their “classic” tunes, including ‘Flower People’, ‘Hell Hole’, and ‘Clam Caravan’ before being joined on stage by Elvis Costello for a rendition of ‘Gimme Some Money’. The group ended the night with ‘Sex Farm’. Earlier in the night, director Rob Reiner introduced the film, joking that the occasion makes him feel “old.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zac Efron, Lena Waithe, Pentatonix
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Desus & Mero, Robert Irwin
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Christina Applegate, Van Jones, Bear Grylls
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Jared Harris, Lyric Lewis, Valerie Franco
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Topher Grace, Jason Schwartzman, Chad Daniels
• “Conan” (TBS): Dax Shepard
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorit Kemsley, Boy George
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): E.L. James
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Laura Carmichael
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Zac Efron
• “The 100” (CW): The Season 6 premiere: Still reeling after receiving Monty’s message, a small group goes down to explore the mysterious new planet.
• “Kids Behind Bars: Life or Parole” (A&E): Season premiere. On January 31, 2011, 14-year-old Aaron shot his neighbor, 14-year-old Alana, in her home in Harlem, Ga. Aaron was sentenced to life without parole at 15, but now 21-year-old Aaron is appealing his sentence.
• “On Tour With Asperger’s Are Us” (HBO): Series premiere. The comedy troupe Asperger’s Are Us prepare for a six-week tour across the U.S.


• Taylor Swift – Her ‘Me!’ video attracted 65.2 million YouTube views within the first 24 hours of its release. That makes the solo and female artist with the biggest 24-hour debut on YouTube, overtaking Ariana Grande’s ‘Thank U, Next, which drew over 55 million views in the 24 hours after its release.
• Meek Mill — wasn’t able to watch his beloved Philadelphia 76ers take on the Toronto Raptors in their playoff game in Toronto on Saturday after a judge denied his request. He’s been on probation since 2008, and must get permission to leave the state of Pennsylvania.
• Morrissey — After 14½ years of boycotting Canada to protest its seal hunting industry, he performed the first of two shows in the country in Toronto on Friday night. He and his band all sported red t-shirts bearing the slogan: “Be kind to seals or I’ll chill you.”
• Mötley Crüe – Singer Vince Neil is fighting back against his former lawyer’s demand for the $190,000 they claim he owes. Neil says the law firm inflated their billing in an attempt to collect more money than he rightfully owed.
• Styx – former singer Dennis DeYoung says he is “in the home stretch” making his next solo album, and to longtime fans, it may have a familiar sound: “If they’re honest with themselves, if they were truly Styx fans, they’re gonna like it.”
• Molly Hatchet – singer Phil McCormack died on Saturday at the age of 58. So far, there is no official word on his cause of death. He had been with the group since 1995.
• Randy Travis — will make a special appearance on the Grand Ole Opry stage on May 4 to celebrate his 60th birthday. He’ll also be releasing his new book, “Forever and Ever, Amen: A Memoir of Music, Faith and Braving the Storms of Life” on May 14.
• Brantley Gilbert – gives credit to his wife Amber for improving his sense of style on the red carpet over the past few years.  While he has been known to show up in a camo tank top, he now might sport an expensive suit. Quote: “I think she’s definitely kinda easing me into that…at one awards show I was running late and I was on my motorcycle and got caught in the rain and so I just showed up in what I had on.”

• “Serenity” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery):  A fishing boat captain juggles facing his mysterious past and finding himself ensnared in a reality where nothing is what it seems. (Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway)
• “Miss Bala” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Gloria finds a power she never knew she had when she is drawn into a dangerous world of cross-border crime. Surviving will require all of her cunning, inventiveness, and strength. Based on the Spanish-language film. (Gina Rodriguez, Thomas Dekker)
• “Arctic” (PG-13, Drama):  A man stranded in the Arctic after an airplane crash must decide whether to remain in the relative safety of his makeshift camp or to embark on a deadly trek through the unknown. (Mads Mikkelsen)
• “Knock Down the House” (PG, Documentary):  A look at the people involved with various political campaigns during the 2018 U.S. congressional election. (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Cori Bush)

On May 3, visitors to Canada’s largest theme park will get the chance to experience the fastest, tallest and longest “dive” roller coaster in the world. The “Yukon Striker” is the new star attraction at Canada’s Wonderland in Vaughan, Ontario, just north of Toronto. The Yukon Striker features a 90-degree drop into an underwater tunnel. The roller coaster is 75m tall, 1,105m long and reaches 130km/h (81mph). It also has a 360-degree loop, just in case you live through that 90-degree drop. The coaster is the central attraction at the park’s new “Frontier Canada” area, which features a gold-rush theme.
(I wouldn’t want to sit behind me on this!)
(Or more accurately…visitors will have the chance to line up all day at the fastest, tallest and longest dive roller coaster in the world!)
(***See “BS Unlikely Theme Park Rides”, below***)

The question comes up every time you receive an wedding invitation:  How much should we spend on a gift? The common guideline is often “aim to cover the cost of your plate”, but even that is sometimes difficult to figure out. Desirae Odjick, the personal finance blogger behind “Half Banked”, says that while every situation is unique, “The biggest factor is your personal financial situation.”  That said, here are some guidelines:
➢ If you are in the bridal party:  Err on the lower side of the gift value because you have already probably taken on several expenses associated with being part of the wedding.  Discuss with the other members of the wedding party. Maybe $100-150.
➢ If you are not able to attend the wedding:  If you are close to the bride and groom, and will see them soon after the wedding, suggest taking them out for a nice dinner in lieu of a gift.  Otherwise: $50 for acquaintances; $100–$250 for family and very close friends.
➢ If you have to travel:  Sometimes a thoughtful couple will indicate that no gift is necessary, if not, it’s reasonable to downsize your gift.  Don’t dip lower than $50.
➢ If you really can’t swing a gift:  If you are seriously broke (student, between jobs, behind on bills, etc., offer an alternative such as pet sitting or house sitting, or to help them with writing thank you notes after the wedding.  Offer your presence instead of presents. (And that house-sitting thing might come in handy for you…just sayin’…)
(Wait, what about if I’m not in the wedding party, I AM able to attend the wedding, I don’t have to travel, and I’m not totally broke?  Am I the only one?)

☞ Bacon:  is high in monounsaturated fat, the same type of fat found in olive oil that’s generally described as heart-healthy.  Also high in protein.  (Yes, but we all still know that eventually, it’ll kill you…)
☞ Potato Chips:  Baked chips are the best option, but if they don’t quite curb your craving, look for chips fried in healthy oil, like sunflower oil or soy oil. Opt for low-sodium.  But either way, they are still healthier than Doritos.  (And if you’re eating Doritos, YOU’RE probably the one who’s baked!)
☞ Beef Jerky:  Yes, it’s packed with preservatives and sodium, but recently a healthier version has surfaced. Look for beef jerky labelled “all-natural.” It’s lower in sodium and preservatives and contains a high amount of protein.
☞ Angel Food Cake:  With no butter or fat, angel food cake is a gift from above. While it’s still high in sugar, it’s by far the healthiest type of cake. Pair it with fresh berries and homemade whipped cream. (Or it will taste like a sponge…)
☞ Sweet Potato Fries:  They are higher in fibre and lower in carbs than traditional fries. Up the health factor by making them from scratch. Cut sweet potatoes into wedges and bake them instead of frying them. (OK, but the waitress isn’t going to like that…)
☞ Ketchup:  It contains only 15 calories per tablespoon and it’s high in the antioxidant lycopene and vitamins A and C.  Avoid brands with high-fructose corn syrup. (If tomatoes are fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?)
☞ Chocolate:  Not the sugar-packed kind with candy-coatings or chewy fillings – we’re talking about plain, pure chocolate. Dark chocolate’s antioxidant-rich nutritional value has been well documented, but if you find it too bitter, opt for almost-as-healthy milk chocolate that’s either plain or with nuts or fruit.
(But fruit takes up space where chocolate could be!)

New analysis from the University of Oxford predicts that Facebook profiles of dead people could outnumber those of the living by 2070, if current trends continue. These statistics give rise to new and difficult questions around who has the right to all this data and how should it be managed.



1959 [60] Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (2006-15)/current Chairman of the International Democrat Union

1960 [59] David Miscavige, Philadelphia PA, leader of the Church of Scientology (official title is Chairman of the Board of Religious Technology Center)

1971 [48] Chris Henderson, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-‘Kryptonite’, ‘Here Without You’)

1975 [44] Johnny Galecki, Bree, Belgium, TV actor (‘Leonard Hofstadter’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007, ‘David Healy’ on “Roseanne” 1992-97, 2018)

1981 [38] Kunal Nayyar, London UK, TV actor (‘Raj Koothrappali’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007)

1982 [37] Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, TV actress (“Fargo” 2015)/movie actress (“Interview with the Vampire”, “Spider-Man” films)

1986 [33] Dianna Agron, Savannah GA, TV actress (‘Quinn Fabray’ on “Glee” 2009-15)

1985 [34] Gal Gadot, Rosh HaAyin Israel, movie actress (“Wonder Woman”) COMING UP…”Wonder Woman 1984″, 2020

• “Adopt a Shelter Pet Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of strays. On a sadder note, the SPCA observes a moment of silence for the thousands of dogs and cats euthanized each year because they are unable to find homes.

• “Canada Revenue Agency Tax Filing Deadline”. Tonight at midnight is the deadline for filing a 2018 income tax return.

• “International Jazz Day”, initiated in 2001 by UNESCO to celebrate worldwide appreciation of the music form. Celebrations will culminate in an All-Star Global Concert at Melbourne Arts Centre’s renowned Hamer Hall in Australia. It will be webcast via YouTube and Facebook.
NET: http://jazzday.com

“Honesty Day”, created by author M Hirsh Goldberg in the early 1990s after spending 4 years researching & writing “The Book of Lies”. Goldberg thought that April, which begins with a big day of lying (April Fools Day) should end on a higher moral note.

“Spank Out Day”, initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching kids appropriate behavior.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ky68mj2

“Bugs Bunny Day”, Bugs made his debut in a cartoon called “Porky’s Hare Hunt.” on this date in 1938. Perhaps the reason people don’t recognize Bugs from that early cartoon is that he was credited as “Happy Rabbit.”

[Wed] Couple Appreciation Day
[Wed] Frequent Flyer Day
[Thurs] Brothers and Sisters Day
[Thurs] National Day of Prayer

1988 [31] Tom Hanks weds actress Rita Wilson

1997 [22] 42 million watch Ellen DeGeneres publicly declare she is gay during an appearance on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”

2018 [01] “Avengers: Infinity War” sets new record for an opening weekend, earning $250 million in the US, $630 million worldwide


2008 [11] At the Coachella festival, Roger Waters’ giant inflatable pig escapes, roams the countryside and ultimately deflates

2015 [04] Ben E. King, songwriter and singer of ‘Stand By Me’, dies at age 76


1952 [67] “Mr. Potato Head” becomes the first toy advertised on television

1989 [30] World Wide Web (WWW) is first launched in the public domain by European research organization CERN scientist Tim Berners-Lee

2009 [10] Automaker Chrysler files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy (after a government bailout, Chrysler Group is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Fiat)


✓ The Longest TV ad of all time, for an Old Spice product, is 14 hours long.
✓ LEGO has an underground vault containing every LEGO set ever made.
✓ There’s typically a 200 millisecond gap between conversational responses.
✓ The popular “Keep Calm and Carry On” slogan was originally created by the British government as a form of propaganda to urge citizens to stay civil during World War II.
✓ The world “girl” (spelled “Gyrle”) was originally used in the 1300s to refer to any child or young person, regardless of gender.
✓ The word “SWIMS” (in uppercase) is still “SWIMS” when turned upside down.

• 20,000 Leaks Under the Sink
• Kenny Rogers Roaster Coaster
• It’s a Small-Minded World
• Pirates of the Somalian Coast
• The Long Line Experience
• Waterslide Into My DMs
• Goofy’s Cannabis Farm
• The XXX celerator
• Spacey Mountain
• Anything that doesn’t exit through a gift shop

Best of BS . . .

✓ Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
✓ Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, make the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
✓ Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
✓ Get in shower and turn on water.
✓ Make rude noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
✓ Taste your wife’s Ginger Nut & Jaffa Cake body wash.
✓ Make a shampoo mohawk.
✓ Rinse off and get out of shower, making sure to avoid floor towel.
✓ Leave shower curtain open, water on floor, light and fan on.
✓ Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, make ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
✓ Throw wet towel on bed.
– Adapted from FunnyLists.net, first published in ‘BS’ in 2015


What is something you’ve never done but would like to try? What is something you’ve tried but would never do again?


I’m getting so old that I have more back issues than a comic book store.


Question:  7% of brides reportedly do THIS before getting married. What is it?
Answer:  Get a nose job


Use your eyes to see the possibilities, not the problems.


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