August 17, 2016

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Wednesday, August 17, 2016 – Edition: #5798

Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

★ 20-year-old model/reality TV star Kendall Jenner has revealed she’s a trypophobic. What’s that? Someone who is terrified by irregular patterns or clusters of small holes or bumps. Things that set her off are pancakes, honeycomb, and lotus heads. She admits it sounds ridiculous but many others suffer the phobia. Quote: “I can’t even look at little holes … it gives me the worst anxiety. Who knows what’s in there?”
★ Actor Keanu Reeves is somewhat reclusive when it comes to Hollywood, but he’s more than happy to wax lyrical about his first love … motorcycles. The 51-year-old has even gone into business building custom bikes, which sell at circa $78,000. He’s partnered with revered bike designer and longtime friend Gard Hollinger to launch Arch Motorcycles and the premium 2032 cc KRGT-1 superbike. Reeves claims his one ambition when producing custom motorcycles is to make people giggle when they ride them.
– Bloomberg News
★ “Iron Man” star Robert Downey Jr is teaming with “True Detective” creator Nic Pizzolatto on a new TV show for HBO. Pizzolatto has written the script for the as-yet-untitled drama. Details of the project are being kept under wraps, but sources say it may be based on Downey’s long-gestating reboot of the vintage TV legal series “Perry Mason” (1957–1966). Downey will also executive produce the show alongside his wife Susan.
★ And the domestic violence case between Johnny Depp & Amber Heard is getting messier by the minute as other people are now being dragged into the conflict. Heard says Depp accused her of sleeping with actor Billy Bob Thornton in 2015 during production of the movie “London Fields”. Thornton says the accusation is totally false, claiming he “never socialized with Amber off-set, other than a cast dinner”. It’s time to give her some money and wrap this up, Mr Depp. BS UPDATE: He just did … $10 million!

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Mike Posner (“At Night, Alone”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Last Bandoleros f/Sting (“Where Do You Go?”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Birdy (“Beautiful Lies”). Rerun.
• “Meredith Vieira” (syndicated) – Andrea Bocelli (“Cinema”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Christina Milian (“4U”)..
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – OMI (“Me 4 U”). Rerun.

• The Beatles – Ringo Starr has become a great-grandfather as his granddaughter Tatia Starkey has given birth to a son named Stone Zakomo Low. Tatia is the daughter of Ringo’s son Zak Starkey.
• Beyoncé – She’s been celebrating the $210-million take in ticket sales from her “Formation Tour” with a little yacht time off the coast of Italy.
• Brad Paisley – He’s going back to college … to tour. Following the 2015 Brad Paisley Country Nation College Tour, he’s bringing his free concerts to a new group of college partners this Fall, beginning September 4th in Orlando FL.
• Drake – According to “The Tennessean”, he declared his love for Nashville, its people, and its music during his weekend show at the Bridgestone Arena. Then he dedicated a set to Shania Twain, who was seated in the audience.
• French Montana – He’s landed a Las Vegas residency with TAO Group’s popular nightclubs that include TAO, LAVO, and Marquee. A string of shows are slated to begin September 17th. He’s expected to release his new album “MC4″ this week.
• Goo Goo Dolls – John Rzeznik thinks artists who don’t play their hits are ”arrogant a–holes”. The 50-year-old, whose band scored a smash with 1998’s “Iris”, believes musicians have a duty to fans to play their favorites.
• Guns N’ Roses – They’re performing at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on February 14, 2017. A billboard advertising the gig has just gone up in the Australian city, suggesting the reunited classic line-up of the band is taking their “Not in This Lifetime” tour Down Under.
• Justin Bieber – He previously threatened to make his Instagram account private, now he’s gone a step further and deleted it, but not before accusing his ex, Selena Gomez, of cheating with former One Direction singer Zayn Malik. Bieber had 77.8 million Instagram followers.
• Katy Perry – She’s partnering with Global Brands Group to launch her first shoe collection next year. She says the company is the best fit for her ”artistic ideas”. (BS translation: They’re paying me millions to do nothing.)
• Madonna – She claims that social media has allowed artists to become overnight superstars and, as a result, musicians are too ”focused on fame” and spending less time honing their craft as artists. (For once, she’s right.)

According to comedian Ari Shaffir …
✓ Too much wasted time on social media, not to mention email and text.
✓ Constant worry over data plan and/or wi-fi access.
✓ Always checking ‘likes’ … for what?
✓ Interrupted sleep from notifications.
✓ Lack of awareness of surroundings due to being smartphone-absorbed.
✓ Having so many possibilities at your fingertips becomes addictive.
✓ Being connected and contactable all the time is not just bizarre but menacing.
Shaffir is not alone. Hollywood actor Bill Murray is said have never had a smartphone and Silicon Valley tech entrepreneur Steve Hilton has written about his decision not to own any sort of mobile tech for the last 3 years.
– Condensed from “BBC News Magazine”

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Beardruff’ – Dandruff in or from a beard. (You can bet someone is working on a product for this.)
• ‘Doomeranger’ (doom + boomeranger) – An adult child who, after living on their own for an extended time, returns to live with parents due to financial problems. (Change the locks!)
• ‘Footcial’ (foot + facial) – A beauty treatment for the feet that uses the same techniques as a facial. The experience is said to leave the entire body feeling relaxed. (Or ticklish.)

Google’s video-chat app called ‘Duo’ has arrived. It’s Google’s response to other popular video-calling options, including Apple’s FaceTime, Microsoft’s Skype, and Facebook’s Messenger. Duo isn’t much different from the other services except that it identifies who’s making the call, helping the recipient decide whether or not to answer. Google calls this feature ‘Knock Knock’. The new app, released yesterday, is a free service for phones running on Google’s Android operating system, as well as Apple’s iPhones. Like FaceTime for iPhones, Duo requires only a person’s phone number to connect. Google’s long-running Hangouts app is now being tailored for business meetings. (What we need is a face-calling app that shows you fully dressed with hair combed and makeup … when you’re not.)

The Chicago Cubs have fired one of their DJs for what they call an “irresponsible” choice of song. After new Chicago pitcher Aroldis Chapman left the mound in the 9th inning of Sunday’s game, the DJ played “Smack My Bitch Up” by the Prodigy. Chapman was accused of choking his girlfriend and firing 8 bullets in his garage in 2015. While no charges were filed over the incident, Major League Baseball suspended him for 30 games when he was traded to the NY Yankees later that year. The Cubs have declined to release the name of the DJ, who is one of two hired when new video-boards were installed in 2015. (Who’s at fault … the DJ for playing the song, or the ball club for hiring someone suspected of violence against women?)
– “Chicago Tribune”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 80% of women would find a a man more attractive if they learned he owns a Teddy Bear.
• 50% of us wipe our hands on furniture instead of a napkin at a house party.
• 40% of guys lose points on a first date for not opening the car door for their date.
• 27% of children take piano lessons against their will.
• 22% of drivers say passengers who criticize their route irritate them most.
• 20% of adults read their favorite comic on a daily basis.

Forget the usual request for “Shhh!”, a library in southern Finland wants people to sing their hearts out during their next visit … in a soundproof karaoke booth. The Vantaa Library, in a suburb of Helsinki, installed a karaoke zone earlier this year as part of a plan to provide new services to attract new patrons. The idea is that people who don’t like performing in a packed bar after a shot or 5 can instead enjoy a sing-along in relative privacy, regardless of their ability to hold a tune. Locals can reserve up to 2 hours in the booth using their library card, and once inside are able to choose from more than 3,000 songs, all listed on the library’s website. (What unique new service would get you back into a library?)
– #NewsfromElsewhere

✗ Rhyme As Reason Effect – You have a tendency to perceive rhyming statements as being more truthful.
✗ Reactance – This is the urge to do the opposite of what someone asks you to do in order to resist against a perceived attempt to limit your freedom.
✗ Negativity Effect – This is your tendency to attribute the negative behavior of people you don’t like to their character and the positive behavior of people you don’t like to the environment.
✗ Functional Fixedness – We tend to only use objects the way they are traditionally used.
✗ False Consensus Effect – You tend to overestimate the degree to which people agree with you.
✗ Naive Realism – This is our tendency to think that we see reality the way that it really is and that rational people would agree with us. People who don’t are either ignorant or uninformed.
✗ Well Traveled Road Effect – You tend to underestimate the time it will take you to get somewhere if you know the route well and overestimate if the route is unfamiliar.
✗ Bias Blind Spot – You tend to see yourself as less biased than others.
– Condensed from

Only about half of perceived ‘friendships’ are mutual.
– “New York Times”


1943 [73] Robert De Niro, NYC, movie actor (2 Oscars-“The Godfather II”, “Raging Bull”)

1960 [56] Sean Penn, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (2 Oscars-“Milk”, “Mystic River”)

1969 [47] Donnie Wahlberg, Dorchester MA, pop singer (New Kids On the Block-“Hangin’ Tough”)/TV actor (“Blue Bloods” since 2010)/movie actor (“Saw” films)

1974 [42] Giuliana Rancic, Naples, Italy, TV personality (“Fashion Police” since 2010, ” E! News” 2005-15, “Miss Universe” and “Miss USA” co-host)

• “Baby Boomer Recognition Day”, a special day to commemorate the accomplishments of those born between 1946 and 1964. The oldest ‘boomers’ are now 70.

• “Black Cat Appreciation Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of black and B&W cats. Like black dogs, they are usually the least popular choice at animal shelters.

• “I Love My Feet Day”, saluting the appendage most models say is their ugliest feature. The theme for 2016 is ‘Healthy Feet are Happy Feet!’

• “Thriftshop Day”. What’s the best deal you ever found in one? Our list includes Pierre Cardin and Oscar de la Renta jackets, a solid walnut coffee table, a roll-top desk.

2012 [04] 3 members of Russian feminist punk rock group Pussy Riot are sentenced to 2 years in prison for staging a protest outside a Moscow cathedral

2011 [05] “Last Friday Night (TGIF)” by Katy Perry hits #1 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’, making her just the 2nd artist with five #1 singles from the same album (“Teenage Dream”), joining Michael Jackson (“Bad”)

2001 [15] After performing over 400 vasectomies, 45-year-old Dr Jonathan Heatley of London UK performs one … on himself (do NOT try this at home)

2008 [08] By winning gold in the Men’s 4X100 medley relay in Beijing, USA swimmer Michael Phelps becomes the first Olympian to win 8 gold medals in a single Olympics (now has a total of 23 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze)

[Thurs] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Fri] “Ben-Hur” ; “Kubo & The Two Strings; “War Dogs” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Canadian National Exhibition begins (Toronto ON)
[Sat] Hot 100 Music Festival begins (NYC)
[Sat] V Festival begins (Hylands Park/Weston Park UK)
[Sat] “The Tragically Hip: A National Celebration” (CBC)
This Week Is … Massage Therapy Week
This Month Is … Breastfeeding Month


✓ Crisp kale leaves falling into a compostable cardboard container at Whole Foods salad bar.
✓ Cleanly cut cauliflower cross-sections sizzling in coconut oil in a seasoned Le Creuset pan.
✓ Organic gingerberry kombucha effervescing over pellet ice in a Ragnar race pint glass.
✓ A bladeless Dyson fan ruffling the crisp pages of a new issue of “Food & Drink”.
✓ Rolling and unrolling a $75 Lululemon yoga mat which has finally lost that baby seal smell.
✓ Continuous text alerts from an iPhone 6 set to vibrate and resting on a hard surface.
✓ Loritab capsules gently knocking about in a prescription bottle at the bottom of a Birkin bag.
✓ A massage therapist’s ballpeen hammer thoroughly thumping the lumbar vertebrae.
✓ Perfectly tanned skin on a perfectly crossfit thigh coming unstuck from a Herman Miller chair.
✓ Quarter-sized bubble wrap popping to the tune of that favorite Beyoncé song.
– Thanks to Kyle Statham & Stacey Greenberg

☎ What are some things that you shouldn’t mention during a marriage proposal?

• The male version of a mid-wife. [An accoucher.]
• The working section of a piano. [The action.]
• The thin line of cloud that forms behind an aircraft at high altitude. [A contrail.]
• The distance that a coaster stuck to a glass falls when it is lifted. [A bevemeter.]
• The study of animals unknown to science, ie: Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster. [Cryptozoology.]
• The white part of your fingernail. [The lunula.]
• The back of the human hand. [The opisthenar.]
• A depth of 2 fathoms (3.6 m/12 ft). [Mark Twain.]
• Someone who uses as few words as possible when speaking. [Pauciloquent.]
• A group of musical notes in a certain order that results in an agreeable sound. [A melody.]

Scientists say we use only 10% of our brains. Imagine how much better the world would be if we started using the other 60%.

Question: More than 1-in-3 people say they’d rather clean the bathroom than do THIS.
Answer: Make up a new password.

I don’t think so, therefore I’m probably not.

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