Thursday, August 15, 2002 Edition: #2357
More From the Sheethouse!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Word is the latest Hollywood romance involves (drum roll, please) “Friends” Matthew Perry & “Bridget Jones’s
Diary” star Renée Zellweger . . . Seems Eminem still has mommy issues – in his latest video “Cleaning Out My
Closet” he calls her a bitch, says he hopes she burns in hell and is pictured digging her grave (where’s Freud
when you need him?) . . . P Diddy got a surprise while partying in a club on the French Riviera when the Sultan
of Brunei sent 5 methuselahs of Champagne (6 liters each) over to his table – just to say hello (wow, a
$100,000 calling card!) . . . Winnipeg is considering building the world’s first cartoon art museum (we always
knew the ‘Peg was looney toons) . . . SEPTEMBER’S edition of “Architectural Digest” will feature the North
Caldwell NJ home that was used as a model for ‘T’s’ house in “The Sopranos” (will they show where the guns
are stashed in the false ceiling?) . . . 45% of respondents to a new “USA Today” poll pick Kelly Clarkson as
most likely to win “American Idol”, followed by Tamyra Gray (30%), and Justin Guarini (19.8%).
MOVIES IN THE MAKING:
A sequel to the 1994 hit comedy “The Mask” is in the works, but WITHOUT original star Jim Carrey (like making
a “Jaws” sequel without the fish) . . . Actress Jennifer Connelly says shooting Ang Lee’s upcoming thriller “The
Hulk” was humiliating because she often had to act opposite a cardboard head doubling as ‘The Hulk’, which
will be created later using computers (wow, the stress these Hollywood type endure!) . . . Demi Moore is in talks
to join Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz & Lucy Liu in “Charlie’s Angels 2” as a fallen ‘Angel’ who has turned to
the dark side (‘Demi Vadar’) . . . Hugh Grant will play a British Prime Minister in “Love, Actually”, a new film
penned by “Four Weddings & a Funeral” writer Richard Curtis (chick flick warning!) . . . David Hyde Pierce is
co-starring with Renée Zellweger & Ewan McGregor as the ‘best friend’ in the currently shooting “Down With
Love”, a takeoff on 1960s romantic comedies like “Pillow Talk” that starred Rock Hudson & Doris Day.
WHAT’S IMPORTANT:
A survey published in “Glamour” magazine finds that men and women wish for the same things in life – money,
love, and happiness. Money ranks slightly higher for men, happiness slightly higher for women. Perhaps
surprisingly, sex is mentioned by only 2% of men. (Guess they figure that first you get the money, then you’ll get
the sex.)
ASHES TO DISCS:
Ed Headrick, the California inventor who added those little aerodynamic ridges to the top of Frisbees to make
them fly fast and straight, has died at age 78. “So what?”, I hear you cry. Well, his ashes are to be incorporated
into Frisbees and given to relatives and friends!
BIG GUYS HAVE MORE KIDS:
A newly-published British study shows that height matters when it comes to having children. Tall men are likely
to have more kids than short men, while the reverse is true for women. It’s nothing to do with physical capability
but rather attraction – psychological tests show that women find tall men more attractive but that men don’t
particularly care about a woman’s height. (Just her willingness.)
OFFICE RAGE:
Highlights of a new poll of 450 office workers –
• 53% have become so angry at work that they were brought to the brink of violence.
• 64% say the #1 cause of office rage is ‘loud-mouthed colleagues’ shouting across the office or talking over
people at meetings. Other anger triggers include malfunctioning computers, excessive workloads, and
interruptions during telephone conversations.
• Women are more likely to have thoughts of violence while men are more inclined to vent their anger by
shouting.
HOW TO BE A DOGGY DOC:
Some chapters of the Red Cross are now offering a course in ‘First Aid for Dogs & Cats’. Among the first-aid
treatments taught are – CPR for cats and dogs, wound treatment, immobilizing broken bones and how to
perform an ‘abdominal thrust’ if your animal is choking. (If it was a matter of life and death, could you give your
pet mouth-to-mouth?)
A MATTER OF MANNERS:
According to a recent poll of over 1,000 men and women, the most annoying table manners are – not talking,
shovelling in food, and watching TV or reading the newspaper between bites. (C’mon, there are lots of things
that are worse – clipping toe-nails comes to mind.)
WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• A scientist in England claims he can grow new teeth in humans. (Well he certainly picked the right country to
do it in! Unfortunately, it only works in people under 8-years-old.)
• New Zealand artist Maurice Bennett spent 2 months creating a giant portrait of Elvis Presley – from over 4,000
slices of toast. He produced the Presley piece by toasting bread to different tones to create skin highlights and
shadow. The portrait marking the 25th anniversary of ‘The King’s’ death will be exhibited at the Walrus Gallery in
Wellington in SEPTEMBER. (It’s a crumby likeness.)
• The Swedish government’s Committee On Alcohol has placed tape machines in restaurants all over the
country which automatically begin playing messages when the restroom door opens. It is hoped that messages
like “If you are one of those who can drink without getting drunk then you are one of those who are more likely to
become addicted to alcohol” will help reduce public drunkenness and driving under the influence. (A spooky
voice comes out of nowhere in the washroom? There’s gonna be a lot of damp pants!)
• An Irish judge has ordered a Dublin pub to put up sign welcoming people with guide dogs. (Um, who would the
sign be for? The dogs?)
• The parliament of Italy has considered appointing a ‘Commission Of Beauty’ which would issue ‘nudity
permits’ to good looking people only. The legislation would have denied ugly people the right to be seen naked
in public. The measure was voted down. (After new mirrors were installed in the parliamentary chamber.)
• Under changes to the state’s public liability laws, residents of South Australia will now be able to say ‘sorry’
without it being taken as an admission of liability and used against them in court. The new legislation was
designed to help reduce spiralling public liability insurance premiums. (This would be great for Canada. We say
‘sorry’ dozens of times daily. Try keeping track of how many times you hear it in a day.)
WORLD’S SEXIEST WOMEN IN 2002:
5. Jennifer Lopez
4. Alyssa Milano
3. Halle Berry
2. Britney Spears
1. Anna Kournakova
Source: “FHM” magazine poll coming in the SEPTEMBER issue
BS SHOCKING FACTS:
• There are nearly 500 MILLION TV remote controls in use in the world today!
• The average adult has between 40 and 50 BILLION fat cells!
THE BULL SHEET 08.15.2K2
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TOMORROW is the 25th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s August 16, 1977 death and his estate is still cranking in
the bucks off his memory. TONIGHT’S ‘Candlelight Vigil’ in Memphis will be Webcast live in the 3rd annual
‘Vigilcast’ on the Elvis Website. Graceland officials have also announced a 31-city road show featuring Elvis
memorabilia aboard the ‘Mobile Graceland’ truck, which will include jewelry, clothing, musical instruments and
photos. (Wow, another revenue stream!)
NET: http://www.elvis.com
PHONER: 800-238-2000 (Graceland-Memphis TN)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Tell A Joke Day
[Aug 22] Montréal World Film Festival begins
[Aug 23] 7th World Air Guitar Championship (Oulu, Finland)
[Sept 5] Toronto International Film Festival begins
Resurrect Romance Week
National Clown Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
TODAY the 84th “PGA Golf Championship” tees off in Chaska MN.
BS WAYS TO MAKE GOLF MORE EXCITING:
• Fill the bunkers with quick sand.
• Replace Tiger Woods with a real tiger.
• Have a minister, a priest and a rabbi play, that always turns out to be funny.
• Exploding golf balls.
• A giant yellow arrow graphic so there’s something to look at when the camera pans around the sky looking for
the ball.
WHO SAID IT?
“I’ve made it my purpose to embrace every style of expression in my acting.”
a) Keanu Reeves
b) Adam Sandler
c) Nicholas Cage
ANSWER: Nicholas Cage (who has now developed a grand total of 2 facial expressions).
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Elvis Presley’s middle name was spelled A-R-O-N to honor whom?
A: His twin brother ‘Garon’ died at birth, so Elvis was given the middle name ‘Aron’ to honor him.
Source: “Land O’ Useless Facts”
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 8 out of every 10 bosses say they do this on a regular basis. Does yours?
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Check employees’ e-mail.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What you see can depend on what you look for.
