Tuesday, August 21, 2001 Edition: #2115
Here’s More From the Sheethouse!
BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit that you never find a lost article until you replace it?
• Whyzit the road signs that say ‘SLOW CHILDREN’ have a picture of a running child?
• Whyzit a cowboy needs two spurs? If one side of the horse goes doesn’t the other?
• Whyzit insurance for a car sometimes costs more than the car?
• Whyzit the word ‘little’ is twice as large as the word ‘big’?
• Whyzit they call a sculpture a ‘bust’ when it stops just before the part it’s named after?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
While Oprah Winfrey’s new $50-million, 23,000 sq ft mansion in Montecito CA is being reno-ed and decorated, she’s forced to stay in the more modest guest house – it’s only 6,000 sq ft! . . . Penelope Cruz, who’s now appeared in some 30 films including several back-to-back productions of late, says she’s on vacation until at least February to take time for other things she wants to do (Tom, for instance) . . . . Eminem tells “Q” magazine everything he’s doing right now is for his daughter Hailie, including all the money he’s raking in — “it’s for her college”, he says (what, he’s gonna BUY one?) . . . Vondie Curtis Hall, who spent 4 seasons as ‘Dr. Dennis Hancock’ on “Chicago Hope” is switching hospitals to appear on “ER” for several episodes THIS SEASON . . . “Jurassic Park III” star Tea Leoni is considering dumping ‘Leoni’ and taking husband David Duchovny’s last name, and he’s all for it saying, “It’s the only way my name will ever be on an Oscar!” . . . Mariah Carey’s brother claims her ex-husband, Sony Music exec Tommy Mottola, is to blame for her recent breakdown because he’s tried to destroy her career by pressuring radio stations not to play her records (well that’s certainly worked hasn’t it?).
TODAY’S DVD & VHS RELEASES:
Anthony Hopkins in the “Silence of the Lambs” sequel “Hannibal”, available in a 2-disc ‘Special Edition DVD’ version that offers alternative endings and 35 minutes of deleted scenes (like there was something even grosser they left out?) . . . And taking advantage of the hype, there’s a new interactive DVD version of “Silence of the Lambs” also being released.
CLONE CLASH:
A new Leger Marketing survey shows that 89% of Canadians polled are opposed to human cloning, but 77% think it will happen within the next 20 years anyway. (Uh, try the next 2 years.)
WINGED WEDDINGS:
Here’s the latest fad in weddings — instead of confetti or rice, more and more newlyweds are celebrating their vows by releasing butterflies. Delivered to guests in small envelopes the day before, the butterflies remain in a dormant state until aroused by exposure to daylight at the ceremony. (Guys, try to remember not to put the envelope in your back pocket.)
WEEPING WOMEN:
A survey on women and tears finds 40% admit they break down and cry at least once a week. Another 33% say they get weepy at least once a month. Nearly half of all working women say they’ve openly cried on the job. However, a tough-nosed 3% of women say they NEVER cry — at all.
WEIRD SCIENCE:
• Scientists now say that certain types of marijuana can help relieve cold symptoms. (“The nighttime, stuffy head, wheezing, coughing, watery eyes, get-you-stoned medicine!”)
• An astronomer at the SETI Institute says the broadcast waves from the earliest TV programs have now reached a distance of 50 light-years from Earth. That means the earliest episodes of “I Love Lucy” are just now reaching one new star system per day. (There’s a zillion aliens out there running around screaming ‘Hey Lucy, where’s my bongos?’ at each other.)
• According to a recent study, scientists say that the craving for salt is as strong in men as the craving for sex. (All this time you thought guys were going to bars to pick up women and it turns out it’s just for the peanuts.)
• According to a research team in Liverpool ENG, men who have a longer 4th finger (ring finger) than index finger (‘Peter Pointer’) seem to have a lower risk of heart attack than those whose fingers are about the same length. (357 accidents just occurred while drivers held up their hands to check.)
• Some scientists are now saying that meat is as harmful as smoking. (By all means, avoid second-hand meat!)
THE BULL SHEET 08.21.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [71] Princess Margaret, Glamis SCOT, Countess of Snowden/Queen Elizabeth II’s snooty sister
1938 [63] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, country singer (“Lucille”)/Diamond Award for sales of more than 10 million copies of his “Greatest Hits” album/TV-movie actor (“The Gambler I-VI”)/owner of rubber chicken restaurant chain
1956 [45] Kim Cattrall, Liverpool ENG [raised Vancouver Island], TV actress (Samantha Jones-“Sex and The City”)/once dated PM Pierre Trudeau
1967 [34] Carrie-Anne Moss, Vancouver BC, movie actress (“The Matrix” [1-3], “Chocolat”)
1984 [17] Melissa Schuman, San Clemente CA, pop singer, (Dream-“”He Loves U Not”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
The “55th Little League Baseball World Series” is up to bat THIS WEEK in Williamsport PA where some 100,000 are watching US and international teams battle to make the final. Dubya, the first Little League graduate to be elected US President, will be on hand for the championship game SUNDAY.
PHONER: 570-326-1921
NET: http://www.littleleague.org
TOMORROW is the 9th annual “Be An Angel Day”, a day to do ‘one small act of service for someone’. It’s a good day to send your stunt flunky out to perform random acts of kindness like buying people’s gas or groceries, changing diapers, washing windshields, etc. You can also have listeners call in requests for unusual services. For more on-the-street impact, put him or her in a wacky costume!
NET: http://www.drwnet.com/angel/day.htm
TOMORROW is the annual “Tomatina”, the legendary Spanish tomato-throwing festival when upwards of 25,000 people hurl 100,000 kilos of ripe tomatoes at each other in the village of Bunol for about an hour, after which a loud firecracker signals the end of the fight and everyone pitches in to clean up the mess. What began in 1944 as a simple tomato fight between a group of friends in the town’s main square has turned into the worlds largest food fight. (Normally the last Wednesday in August, but being held a week early this year.)
NET: http://www.2camels.com/destination2.php3
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1841 [160] 1st ‘venetian blinds’ (that night, the 1st ‘peeping Tom’)
1912 [89] 1st Boy Scout to become an ‘Eagle Scout’ (AR Eldred-Oceanside NY)
1973 [28] 1st house made totally of recycled material (Richmond VA)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] 25th Montréal Film Festival begins
[Fri] World Air Guitar Championships begin (Oulu, Finland)
[Sat] 10th Canadian Garlic Festival begins (Sudbury)
National Religious Software Week (like ‘Tomb Raider’?)
National Catfish Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BIGGEST FAIRS IN CANADA:
1. Canadian National Exhibition (Toronto)
2. Pacific National Exhibition (Vancouver)
3. Calgary Stampede
4. Klondike Days (Edmonton)
5. Central Canada Exhibition (Ottawa)
(Source: “Top Ten of Everything”)
BS PHONE STARTER:
“Should new moms be able to take their babies to work?” (A controversial new policy has been proposed in San Francisco that would allow city employees to take babies up to 6-months-old to work with them.)
BS QUICK PICKS:
Q: Your pet Dalmatian dog just had a litter of puppies. Are they black, white or spotted?
A: Dalmatians are born pure white. They don’t start getting spots until 3 or 4 days old.
Q: Hungarian countess Elizabeth Bathory died 387 years ago TODAY (1614). In her time, she was famous for her unusual baths. What was her tub filled with — champagne, milk, or blood?
A: Convinced it made her skin ‘oh-so-silky’, she bathed in the blood drained from her female victims. (“Your tub’s ready! Hurry up, before it scabs over!”)
Q: According to “Escape” magazine, what country leads the world in coffee consumption — Finland, France, or Canada?
A: It’s those wide-awake Fins, with an annual per capita consumption of 29.36 lbs! Canada doesn’t even make the top 10.
WEB GOODIES:
• Looking for inspiration for ‘gotcha’ calls? Try the “Art of Prank Calls” Website.
NET: http://www.franksworld.com/pranks/index.html
• Here’s a great source for the most trivial trivia, called “Amusing Irrelevant Facts”.
NET: http://anduin.eldar.org/~ben/funny/html/510.html
BS TAG LINE:
I prefer sex on days that start with the letter ‘T’ — Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday . . .
