August 13, 2007

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Monday, August 13, 2007        Edition: #3590
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

• “Rush Hour 3” star Chris Tucker is set to remind fans he’s a stand-up comic first. Once promotional work for the hit comedy with Jackie Chan is complete, he’ll begin a 20-city stand-up tour that may be extended worldwide. The trek will be filmed for a future performance movie, similar to what Eddie Murphy did with “Raw”. (Just before he got on with more important work like “The Klumps”.)
– World Entertainment News Network
• Guys who grew up slobbering over “Married … With Children” actress Christina Applegate can celebrate that her marriage is officially over some 2-and-a-half-years after divorce papers were filed. The 35-year-old’s divorce from 36-year-old Jonathan Schaech was finalized FRIDAY in LA Superior Court. They dated for 4 years before wedding in 2001. She’s returning to TV THIS FALL in “Samantha Who?” (ABC). (Perhaps appropriately, it’s a sitcom about starting over.)
– E! News
• Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan has been dubbed a ‘model patient’ by insiders at Cirque Lodge, the Oren, Utah clinic where she’s making her 3rd attempt at rehab. She’s said to be attending every meeting, working diligently with psychologists, and even agreeing to take on menial tasks such as washing dishes and cleaning toilets. (She’s an expert from all that time hugging the big white wheel.)
• Meantime, Lohan’s dysfunctional parents Dina & Michael are promising to settle their long-simmering divorce THIS WEEK. They say the few remaining minor differences will be resolved prior to their next scheduled court date THIS FRIDAY. (Can you get a family discount in rehab?)
– StarPulse News Blog
• The New Jersey building that served as the exterior of Satriale’s Pork Store, the mob hang-out on “The Sopranos”, is set to be demolished to make way for a condo complex with the cheesy name ‘The Soprano’. Some 2,000 white stones from the building’s facade are being sold off for $25-to-$50 apiece, each with a serial number and certificate of authentication. (Meaning someday they could be worth … about 25 cents at a garage sale.)
– Yahoo! Entertainment
• In a move that would have parted with decades of tradition, FOX-TV was proposing to roll out a green carpet for the 2007 “Emmy Awards” but the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences has vetoed the idea. However, the traditional red carpet will at least be eco-friendly, made from recycled material and donated to a school or library after the SEPTEMBER 16th event.
– Cosmo Daily
• “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson may still be in the running to make “The Hobbit” after all. Even though he’s sued New Line Cinema over profits from the enormously successful “Rings” trilogy, the movie studio and the New Zealander are said to be in ongoing talks about his ‘creative involvement’ in the bigscreen version of JRR Tolkien’s first book. Jackson’s reportedly even scheduled a meeting with actor Ian McKellen about reprising his role as ‘Gandalf’, the main crossover character between the 2 stories. (Creepy ‘Gollum’ may also appear.)

• Alan Jackson – Wife Denise Jackson’s book, “It’s All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life”, has debuted at #1 on the “New York Times” non-fiction bestseller list.
• Amy Winehouse – Her dad is urging her to get professional help after her recent hospital stay for ‘exhaustion’. Mitchell Winehouse sums it up bluntly … if she doesn’t start eating, she’s going to die.
• Billy Currington – In the new issue of “People”, he discusses the child abuse he suffered from his stepfather. He’s recently completed a 30-day trauma recovery program and will meet with therapists who specialize in childhood trauma later THIS MONTH after he completes the recording sessions for his 3rd album.
• Grateful Dead – An online auction of the final contents of late guitarist Jerry Garcia’s home is on through SUNDAY. Among the ‘collector items’: a whirlpool, stereo speakers, and … the kitchen sink.
• Nirvana – Their landmark 1991 album “Nevermind” has been licensed in its entirety for use in the upcoming EA video game “Rock Band”. Gamers will be able to download the complete album and listen while playing the game.
• Rolling Stones – Ronnie Wood has soundproofed his $24-million Surrey mansion in England following numerous complaints from distressed neighbors. Seems he often holds raucous parties into the wee hours.
• Spice Girls – Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) has become a first-time parent with longtime singer/boyfriend Jade Jones, birthing son ‘Beau’ FRIDAY in London. Mom’s first post-natal request … pancakes & Coca Cola!

• Brad Paisley – He performs “Online” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Enrique Iglesias – The Latin chart-topper does “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• “The Hills” – The 3rd season premieres (MTV Canada) as Whitney is dealing with the stress of her first real job; Audrina is trying to handle her first real boyfriend; and Heidi’s trying to play house with Spencer and deal with the separation from former BFF Lauren.
• Lily Allen – The Brit popster is on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Paris Hilton – Club Paris, the Orlando FL nightclub originally named in her honor, had a grand ‘closing party’ over the weekend. It’s now being reincarnated as ‘Club Dior’.
• Tony Danza – The has-been TV star begins a 4-month reprisal of his role as ‘Max Bialystock’ in the Las Vegas version of the hit Broadway show “The Producers”. It plays 6 nights a week at Paris Las Vegas.

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … it would take 1.2 million mosquitoes, each sucking once, to completely drain the average human of blood. (In Winnipeg at dusk, this would require 5 minutes.)
• Scientists say … babies as young as 8-months-old can suffer from depression. (Other babies are more optimistic and see the diaper as half full.)
• Scientists say … dog owners are more assertive than other people. According to a German study, people who are domineering are more likely to own dogs. (Naw, dog owners are wimps. Otherwise they’d bite the mail carrier themselves.)
• Scientists say … people who suffer from excessive armpit sweating may soon find relief with a minimally invasive new surgical procedure. The process is somewhat akin to liposuction, except that sweat glands are removed rather than fat. ([Co-host] is hoping to get the ‘combo’.)

A 42-year-old dishwasher’s obsession with heavy metal music has been classified a ‘disability’ by the Swedish Employment Service, which has agreed to pay part of his salary. Psychologists in Hassleholm have decided Roger Tullgren’s passion is nothing less than an addiction, so now he’s receiving sickness benefits. On top of that, his new boss has given him dispensation to play loud music at work. His heavy metal jag began at age 6 when his older brother bought a Black Sabbath album. Last year the heavily tattooed metal-head attended almost 300 concerts and played in 2 different rock bands. He admits he’s always had difficulty holding down a job … mainly because he’s absent most of the time. (Should pay gambling addicts to go to the racetrack?)
– “The Register”

TV R.I.P.?
BitTorrent, the controversial video distribution company that has often been linked to Internet piracy, is planning to introduce a new service NEXT MONTH that will allow users to watch movies and TV shows legally as streaming videos … but you’ll have to watch commercials first. Unlike other movie-download services, the BitTorrent service will not require hours of download time. Media observers claim such services could eventually replace traditional television. (For those of you under 20 … television is that big square thing in the family room.)
– “San Jose Mercury News”

They might not jibe with our beliefs about what’s right and wrong, but researchers say the following observations about human behavior are supported by scientific evidence …
• Humans are naturally polygamous. We’re genetically disposed to fool around.
• Men like blond bombshells … and women want to look like them.
• Beautiful people have more daughters.
• Having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce.
• It’s natural instinct for male politicians to risk all their power for an affair.
• Men have their mid-life crisis not when they reach middle age but when … their wives reach middle age.
– “Psychology Today”

British researchers at Southampton University have developed a mini-generator that can produce electricity from any type of vibration in its surrounding environment. The gizmo could be used to power a pacemaker using the patient’s beating heart, thereby eliminating the need for surgery to replace the batteries. The developers also hope they’ll eventually be able to use the highly efficient generator to power wireless devices such as cellphones and MP3 players. (Would that men your iPod gets louder whenever a hottie walks by?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Continuing the time-honored tradition of bashing the next generation, a survey of hundreds of business owners in Australia has found that employers are dissatisfied with the work ethic of ‘Generation Y’. According to the employers, today’s young workers are demanding, impatient and spoiled, with poor spelling, grammar and communication skills, and an inability to understand what constitutes appropriate corporate behavior. So why do they keep hiring the slackers? Because they’re the generation that knows their way around computers. (Oh the kids these days!)

45% of consumers say they begin back-to-school shopping 3-to-4 weeks before school starts. About 3% plan to procrastinate until after school starts. (How else would you know what you need?)
– National Retail Federation


1926 [81] Fidel Castro (‘El Commandante’, ‘El Caballo’, ‘El Jefe Maximo’), Mayari, Cuba, Cuban President (1959-2007)

1955 [52] Paul Greengrass, Cheam UK, movie director (“The Bourne Ultimatum”, “United 93”)

1973 [34] Andy Griggs, Monroe LA, country singer (“She Thinks She Needs Me”, “She’s More”)

1978 [29] Mike Melancon, Mt Laurier QC, country musician (Emerson Drive-“Moments”, “I Should Be Sleeping”)

• “International Busker Festival” through Saturday, the 21st annual in Halifax NS where some of the world’s best street performers show their stuff.

• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated on Friday, August 13, 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority – lefties. Only about 11% of women and 8% of men are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts!

• Left-handed people statistically tend to be more accident-prone, perhaps explaining why lefties are also more likely to die young.
• Left-handed people are much more likely to become alcoholics than right-handers.
• Left-handed people are also more likely to be geniuses … as well as insane.
• All polar bears are left-pawed. Twice as many cats are left-pawed as right.

• “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether. (Hey, when’s ‘Fat Dipping Day’?)

• “Stay Home With Your Kids Day”, initiated in 1996 by the online magazine “Work At Home Moms”, to encourage and support all parents who have chosen to be home with their children. For those who don’t, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a vacation day and give serious thought about making the change. (Read today’s “Adam@Home” cartoon strip … that’ll cure ya!)

1942 [65] Disney’s “Bambi” premieres in NYC (the mommy dies!!! … sorry, thought I got over that)

1997 [10] TV cartoon series “South Park” debuts (1st time ‘Kenny’ gets killed)

1924 [83] Vernon Dalhart’s “The Prisoner’s Song” becomes the first-ever million-selling country recording

1998 [09] Aerosmith releases their biggest-ever hit, “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”

2004 [03] Opening ceremony for the “Games of the XXVIII Olympiad” in Athens, Greece (where the modern Olympics were first held in 1896)

1981 [26] World distance record set for ‘Cow Chip Throwing’ – 266 feet (and that’s no BS!)

1988 [19] Ronald Dossenbach sets record for ‘Cycling Across Canada’, peddling all the way from Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days, 15 hours, 4 minutes

[Tues] Senior Citizens Day
[Tues] Financial Awareness Day
[Tues] International Nagging Day
[Thurs] 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death
[Fri] “High School Musical 2” airs (Disney Channel/Family Channel)
[Fri] Thriftshop Day

Air Conditioning Appreciation Week / American Dance Week / Aviation Week / Elvis Week / Freedom of Enterprise Week / Hot Lava Week / Knights of Columbus Family Week / Religious Software Week / Resurrect Romance Week / Thanks For All The Gifts Week / Weird Contest Week


Newcomer or old school … which is best? Ask a listener/guest/crew member to pick.
• ‘Jason Bourne’ or ‘James Bond’?
• David Beckham or Pele?
• ‘Transformers’ or ‘GI Joe’?
• ‘Spider-Man’ or ‘Tarzan’?
• ‘Harry Potter’ or ‘Merlin’?
• “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno or “Tonight Show” host Johnny Carson?
• ‘Jack Sparrow’ or ‘Captain Nemo’?
• Sean Kingston or Bob Marley?
• Sudoku or crossword puzzle?
• Red Bull & rye or beer funnel?

If you had to be handcuffed to someone for 24 hours, who would you choose?

It’s not the money I want … it’s the stuff.

Today’s Question: According to a recent Better Business Bureau survey, THIS is the most-hated type of business.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Auto dealership.

Necessity is a mother.

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