August 2, 2007

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Thursday, August 2, 2007        Edition: #3588
Eat, Breath Sheet!

THIS MORNING on “Good Morning America” (ABC), 25-year-old soon-to-be prison inmate (for 90 hours) Nicole Richie finally confirms to Diane Sawyer she’s about 4 months pregnant via her Good Charlotte rocker boyfriend Joel Madden (explaining that olive on a stick appearance) . . . TONIGHT “Netflix LIVE! On Location” at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral FL presents the Bruce Willis Blues Band in concert before a screening of Willis’ 1998 film “Armageddon” (and to make sure someone shows up – it’s free!) . . . Paris Hilton has listed her 1926 Spanish-style residence above Sunset Boulevard in the Hollywood Hills on the market for $4.25 million (maybe the rumor grandpa’s cut her off is true!) . . . The hot new Hollywood couple is said to be philandering actor Jude Law & hottie actress Cameron Diaz, who met on the set of “The Holiday” LAST YEAR and are reportedly spending time ‘hanging out’ THIS WEEK (hopefully in private) . . . Episodes of NBC-TV’s “Bionic Woman”, ABC-TV’s “Pushing Daisies”, the CW’s “Reaper”, and other new season shows are already available for illegal download online (a leak … or a guerilla promotion campaign engineered by the networks?) . . . Rumors are circulating that when Conan O’Brien takes over for Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” in 2009, the show may move back to NYC where it began, setting up an in-town talent booking war between NBC and CBS-TV’s “Late Show With David Letterman” (makes sense: Conan may not want to leave the Big Apple) . . . Onetime “American Idol” contestant Corey Clark has been arrested in Arkansas on drug charges & an outstanding warrant from Arizona (the same loser who claimed he had an affair with Paula Abdul) . . . And rapper/actor DMX has been ordered to pay a $242,000 court judgment for failing to fulfill a contract to promote a ‘clothing line for dogs’, including caps, scarves, raincoats and (huh?) bomber jackets (the only ‘bombing’ our dog does doesn’t require a jacket).

• Duran Duran – The band’s 46-year-old former guitarist Andy Taylor (1980-85, 2001-06) has accepted a 6-figure book deal to write an autobiography telling all about the rock star life.
• Eminem – His music publishing company has  filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against Apple for allegedly allowing downloads of his material at the iTunes store without authorization.
• Emerson Drive – TONIGHT the “Moments” country band does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Gwen Stefani – The National Union of Malaysian Muslim Students, which objects to her ‘obscene’ style & lyrics, is lobbying to have her first-ever concert in Kuala Lumpur cancelled. According to Stefani’s website, the AUGUST 21st “Sweet Escape World Tour” stop is still a go.
• Martina McBride – ABC-TV’s combination talent contest/game show/documentary special, “Six Degrees of Martina McBride”, failed to attract many viewers THIS WEEK, placing 4th in its time slot. Why not just show 2 hours of her in concert?
• Michael Buble – TONIGHT he croons on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Ne-Yo – TODAY he does both “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic) and “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Pearl Jam – TONIGHT they play a private show for fan club members in Chicago, just ahead of their headlining stint at THIS WEEKEND’s “Lollapalooza” festival.
• Prince – For THIS MONTH’s concert stand in London, he’s asked that everything in his suite at the luxurious Dorchester Hotel be black, from walls to curtains, carpets to furniture. The demands also include black candles, a black M&Ms candy machine, and an oxygen bar.
• Rolling Stones – 63-year-old guitarist Keith Richards has signed a $7-million deal to pen his autobiography, due to be published in 2010. He’ll team with close friend, author James Fox, who’ll actually do the writing. Mick Jagger once attempted to write an autobiography but quickly got bored and abandoned the project.
• Sean Kingston – TONIGHT he’s a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Harold” – Spencer Breslin stars in this comedy as a balding, prematurely aging teen. Out-of-nowhere “Hairspray” star Nikki Blonsky co-stars as his nerdy best friend. Filming recently began in her hometown of Great Neck NY, with the middle school she attended serving as the set.
• “My Sister’s Keeper” – Cameron Diaz is set to star as a lawyer forced to defend herself & her husband when their 13-year-old daughter sues them for medical emancipation in order to avoid donating a kidney to her older sister. Shooting is due to begin early NEXT YEAR.
• “The Rum Diary” – Johnny Depp is moving closer to bringing Hunter S Thompson’s autobiographical novel to the bigscreen, 7 years after the project was announced. Production on the film is anticipated to begin after Depp wraps his next project, the crime drama “Shantaram”.
• “Watchmen” – Director Zack Snyder (“300”) will next adapt this 1980s graphic novel about a group of retired superheroes who are called together to investigate the murder of one of their own. Billy Crudup plays ‘Dr Manhattan’; Jackie Earle Haley doles out justice as ‘Rorschach’. Shooting beings in Vancouver this SEPTEMBER.
• “Yes Man” – Jim Carrey has signed on to star in this upcoming comedy about a guy who challenges himself to say ‘yes’ to everything for an entire year. The film is due to begin production in OCTOBER for a scheduled 2009 release.

Hippy chicks rejoice: ‘Boho’ is back! But before you go rummaging around for past season gypsy skirts, the trend has undergone a hip new revival. The fashion world has dubbed the look ‘L-A Boho’, ‘New Boho’ or even ‘Foho’. Reincarnated with a ‘pretty folk edge‘ that’ll make you look like an extra from “Little House On The Prairie”, the understated new take on ‘Boho’ is all about washed-out denims and pale crochet dresses. But you don’t have to don a dress to flaunt the fashion: Washed-out floral smock tops paired with denim flares can also create the ‘Foho’ look. (Seems the latest in haute couture is now available at your local Sally Ann.)
– MSN Lifestyle

A new international survey commissioned by skincare brand Clinique finds that UK women are the least likely to make an effort with their appearance for the sake of their men. Just 51% of British women say they care whether their partners like their appearance. On the other end of the scale, 77% of Russian women say they work hard on themselves to impress their men. (Like maintaining a full set of teeth.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Elvis Presley’s former home Graceland has long been a tourist attraction but aggressive new expansion promises to make it an even bigger draw. CFX Corporation, which bought Elvis’ name and image from Lisa Marie Presley in 2006, plans to level the current Graceland visitors center and adjacent Heartbreak Hotel in order to make room for a $250-million convention & tourist center as well as a hi-tech museum that features a digital re-creation of Presley. No construction schedule has been announced. The 30th anniversary of Presley’s death will be observed on AUGUST 16th. (The King is dead … let’s make money!)
– “CMT News in Brief”

Male belly dancers are again entertaining audiences in Turkey and other European capitals, drawing on a tradition dating back 400 years to the Ottoman Empire when men in the Sultan’s palaces were treated to performances by young male dancers because the women lived separately in harems. The belly men have been showing up on stage of late in clubs, bars, and even rock concerts. As opposed to their female counterparts, the typical male dancer wears loose black trousers, a chain-mail headdress, and a cloak made of sheer fabric which he extends with his arms like wings. (Mmm, muy macho, no?)
– Reuters

A new movement in New Zealand is taking the saying ‘you are what you eat’ to the extreme. So-called ‘vegansexuals’ are people who not only do not eat meat or use animal products, but who also choose not to have intimate relations with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of animal carcasses. Annie Potts of Canterbury University’s New Zealand Center for Human & Animal Studies coined the new term after doing research on ‘cruelty-free consumers’. (Their motto: No Meat or It’s No Nooky!)
– “The Press”

Exercise and moderate caffeine consumption together may help ward off sun-induced skin cancer, according to scientists at Rutgers University. Experiments with hairless mice show that caffeine and exercise together somehow make them better able to destroy precancerous cells whose DNA had been damaged by ultraviolet-B radiation. The researchers are hopeful further research will show the findings will also apply to humans. In the meantime, they advise we don’t forget to use sunscreen. (C’mon, get real. Have you ever seen a hairless mouse at the beach?)
– “China Daily”

Organizers hope a huge 127-ft-high pink hot air balloon launched above the 3-day “Black Cross Festival” in the Netherlands will enter the “Guinness Book of Records” as the ‘World’s Largest Condom’. It was commissioned by Dutch public medical services to increase safe sex awareness at the motocross race/rock concert attended by 80,000. ([Co-host] claims he bought it for personal use afterward.)
– AP

According to a new retailing survey, the most shoplifted book is … “The Bible”. Other popular books among shoplifters include Alan Ginsberg’s “Howl”, Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road”, and perhaps the least surprising title on the list: “Steal This Book”, Abbie Hoffman’s tome for the hippy set on how to live for free. (If you steal a Bible, do you go to hell?)
– Columbia News Service
• “No one knows why we canceled the wedding but I can tell you that all of the reasons that everyone is speculating and writing about are completely untrue.”
– Usher’s pregnant fiancée Tameka Foster, making the cancellation even more intriguing by revealing precisely nothing to “People” magazine.
• “As of right now we don’t have a date but we will let you know when we do.”
– Usher hinting to “US Weekly” magazine the wedding will be rescheduled. (Could the problem have been that none of his pals wanted to be Usher’s ushers?)


1932 [75] Peter O’Toole, Connemara, Ireland, movie actor (“Ratatouille”, “Lawrence of Arabia”)/Lifetime Achievement Academy Award (2003)

1939 [68] Wes Craven, Cleveland OH, horror movie director (“Red Eye”, “Scream 1-3”)

1964 [43] Mary-Louise Parker, Ft Jackson SC, TV actress (“Weeds” since 2005, “The West Wing” 2001-06)/movie actress (“Fried Green Tomatoes”)

1970 [37] Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”)

• “Hair Loss Awareness Month”, as declared by the American Academy of Dermatology. Who’s the best looking balding celebrity?

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”. Who cares why? Chow down!

• “International Humor Exchange Week”. Have listeners call in jokes in another language and get the laugh tracks ready.

1610 [397] Henry Hudson 1st enters what would become known as ‘Hudson Bay’ (leading to the 1st ‘Bay Days Sale’)

1769 [238] City of Los Angeles is 1st named – full name is Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula (LA is the shortest abbreviation of any city’s official name)

1892 [115] 1st ‘Escalator’ patented by Charles Wheeler (the next day, 1st person trips getting off)

1975 [32] Distance record for ‘Champagne Cork Popping’ of 103 feet set by one Gary Mahan

[Fri] Watermelon Day
[Sat] Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction (Canton OH)
[Sat] National Date Night
[Sun] Sisters Day
[Mon] Fresh Breath Day
[Mon] Holiday in 7 provinces & NWT (BC Day, Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc)
This Week Is … Fraud Awareness Week
This Month Is … Immunization Awareness Month


You run down the list of supposedly true facts while a crew member/guest/phone contestant tries to determine the one that isn’t …
GAME #1 –
• ‘Facetious’ is the only word in the English language that contains all the vowels in the correct order. [LIE. ‘Abstemious’ also does, and there may be others.]
• Flushable toilets were in use in ancient Rome.
• “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson was the first video by a black artist to air on MTV.
• Kim Basinger turned down the role in “Basic Instinct” that eventually went to Sharon Stone.
GAME #2 –
• The Wild Lily (or Tiger Lily) that’s often spotted roadside in summer is part of the same family that includes onions, garlic, and asparagus.
• Afghanistan is the world’s largest producer of opium.
• Former “Friends actress Courteney Cox was the first person to use the term ‘period’ on TV, in a 1985 Tampax ad.
• 7 days of hot weather are needed before a ‘heat wave’ is declared. [LIE. Just 3 consecutive days.]

Questions for Guys –
• What’s the average life expectancy for a hair dryer … 2, 4, or 6 years? [4 years.]
• 75% of married women say lovemaking lasts how long: 10 minutes or less, 15 minutes-to-1 hour, or 1-to-1.5 hours? [15 minutes to an hour.]
• Which is the strongest fingernail coating: Clear Liquid Polish Protector, Acrylics, or Resins? [Acrylics.]
• What do 90% of single women say is the most common lie they are told by men: “I love you”, “I’m not seeing anyone else”, or “I’m disease free”? [“I love you.”]
• Which would NOT be appropriate as a gift at a ‘personal shower’ for a bride-to-be: Negligee, Lacy Underwear, or Her Favorite Color Bath Towels. [Believe it or not, it’s the towels.]
Questions for Girls –
• If she could be good at only 1 thing, would most men want a wife/girlfriend to excel at: Cooking, Sports, or Lovemaking. [Lovemaking.]
• What percentage of men think women have an ‘easier life’ than guys: 10, 20, or 50? [20%]
• True or false? There are more 22-year-old men who are virgins now than 40 years ago. [True.]
• What percentage of guys brag that they’re ‘Better than Average’ in the sack: 35, 65, or 95%? [35%]
• What is the height of a regulation basketball rim: 7 ft, 10 ft, or 18 ft? [10 feet.]

On a scale of 1-to-10 (10 being highest), how attractive do you think you are?

My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.

Today’s Question: Since the age of 18, 75% of women have done THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gained weight. (An average of 11 lbs.)

You’re only as old as you say you are.

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